Chapter 26 #2
Before I can answer, Matt says, “New Year’s. We flew out for your party, remember?”
“Oh my God, that’s right. What an insane night!” Sara exclaims. When she sees my blank expression, she leans forward. “It was such chaos, Marn. We started at Tito’s—it was Tito’s, right?”
“I thought it was Juan John’s,” Garrett says.
“We started at Tito’s, then we went to Juan John’s,” Matt clarifies.
“And then Garrett got a call about this private party at some art gallery, but he thought they said Westlake Village when it was actually in Westlake, near MacArthur Park!” Her head falls back as she laughs, and even Matt breaks into a smile.
“Hey, the bar was really loud, okay?” Garrett replies.
I have no idea what they’re talking about, and I should probably be asking questions, striving to catch up. But I also realize this could be any of the past moments we all spent together, whether I remembered them or not.
Conversation moves on, a whirlwind of updates about friends and mutual acquaintances, work issues and upcoming vacations.
I have nothing to add and don’t feel the need to try, so I just listen intently until our drinks arrive.
It’s only then that I realize I’m not the only one abstaining from alcohol tonight.
Sara has ordered a sparkling water as well.
A moment later, she stands up and taps her knife against her glass.
“Announcement time!” she sings. “Now, I know it might seem crazy to tag along on Garrett’s work trip just to spend twenty-four hours in Boston, but I have a good excuse!”
Beside me, Garrett is barely biting back a smile. Meanwhile, Matt looks as clueless as I am.
“Well,” Sara says coyly. “After a year of long hours and hard work and just so many tears, we have some big news.”
I straighten in my chair. “You got the promotion?”
“Of course I got the promotion,” she replies. “But that’s not the good news… We’re pregnant!”
I gasp as a swell of happiness and relief and sheer joy rush through my body. I’m on my feet in a heartbeat, wrapping Sara up in another hug. I don’t care that everyone in the restaurant is staring at us, this moment is too important.
“You’re having a baby!” I cry.
“I know,” she says, laughing as she pulls back to look at me, tears in her eyes. “It’s so wild.”
Matt stands and gives her a hug, too, and suddenly Garrett has wrapped me up in his arms, sniffing back his own tears.
“It’s the best news, Marn,” he says gruffly. “She’s amazing.”
I nod. “Yeah. I know.”
“When are you due?” Matt asks as we all sit back down.
“May 16. Which is the perfect birthday, really. You never want to be too close to Christmas, for obvious reasons, and you don’t want it during the summer because they won’t be in school with their friends, and that makes the entire birthday party planning process so difficult,” she says, as if we have any experience with this.
“I’m thinking of a baby shower in March, before Garrett gets too busy at work.
Do you think you’ll be back by then, Marn? ”
I pause, replaying the last few minutes in my head to find where I missed a step. “Back where?”
“In California,” she replies. “You said you were going to move back.”
“I said I would consider it,” I say carefully. “But my doctors are here, my apartment, my job.”
She laughs. “I’m sure there are barista jobs in California, Marn.”
The table falls into an awkward silence.
“You know I’ll be there for the shower, and when the baby comes. But I’m not moving back. Not right now,” I say, making sure my voice is even.
“But why stay?” she asks, looking truly confused. “Now that Matt’s moving back—”
“You’re moving back?” I cut her off as I look over at him.
Matt looks between Sara and me, like he’s been ambushed.
Sara’s eyes go wide. “You didn’t tell her about the job?”
“We haven’t really talked much, Sara,” Matt replies, shifting in his seat.
She rolls her eyes and turns back to me. “Matt was offered a VP job in San Diego. He starts next month. Isn’t that great?”
I blink. Is it great? I don’t know enough about Matt’s life now to comment, even though the moment clearly calls for it.
“Is it with the same firm you’re with now?” I ask him.
“No. It’s a new company, pretty small. But lots of potential,” he replies.
Another one of Matt’s signature nonanswers. Information that doesn’t provide any information at all.
“So you get it now, right?” Sara leans toward me, smiling again. “If you move back, we’ll all be on the West Coast again, and—”
“Matt and I broke up, Sara,” I say. The words land like a lead weight in the center of the table. “I might not remember the details, but we did. Then I moved out and built a life on my own. And, yes, my memory of it might still be missing, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t make that choice.”
“It also doesn’t mean it was the right choice,” she replies sharply. “You can’t throw away your relationship, your career, your whole life, just because the move stressed you out.”
Somewhere deep in my brain, I know that’s not what happened, at least not all of it, but her words snag on that jagged bit of my heart that’s still confused, still vulnerable and raw.
“I’m sure it was more complicated than that,” I say.
“Not too complicated, since you two met up to talk about getting back together. That’s the whole reason Matt broke up with April.”
April. My mind flickers back to the woman who came into Strange Brew just a few days before. April is Matt’s ex-girlfriend. It’s like a puzzle piece slides into place in my brain. I can’t quite see the full picture, but I know it fits.
“That’s not true, Sara,” Matt says. “April and I had been having issues for a while.”
I look over and catch his expression, how he’s staring over at Sara with exasperation. It suddenly occurs to me that while I’ve been fielding her attempts to get us back together over the past month, Matt has, too.
Garrett leans toward her, lowering his voice. “Let it alone, babe.”
“I just don’t get it,” Sara continues, as if she didn’t hear him. “Your whole life is in California, Marnie. Now that Matt is coming back—”
“Sara. Stop!” I cut her off. “This is why I can’t tell you anything.
You only hear what you want to, and then, once you have your mind set, no one can change it.
Yes, you would probably do a better job of running my life than I can, but it’s still my life.
So please listen to me when I say that Matt and I are not getting back together, and I’m not moving back to California. ”
She stares at me, slack-jawed, and it suddenly feels like we’ve tipped the scales into something awful, an argument you don’t come back from.
Our waiter appears with our entrées, smiling and blissfully unaware of the conversation he has just interrupted.
“Pesto ravioli,” he says, then carefully sets the dish in front of me, complete with a full stem of basil for garnish.
“And here are those steamed Maine lobsters.”
He floats around the table, placing bright red lobsters, their little claws perfectly placed on beds of kale, in front of Matt, Sara, and Garrett.
Three of them. Does that mean there’s one left alone in a tank somewhere?
One lobster sat and watched as their soulmate was snatched up along with two of their friends?
“Marnie?” Matt murmurs. “Are you okay?”
Lobsters mate for life, I want to remind him. But then I remember that I shouldn’t have to.