Chapter Twenty
Kenzie parked next to Hannah’s car and got out, wondering not for the first time what power Danny Kowalski had over her to keep her doing things she knew she’d regret later.
Maybe she’d get lucky and Rob and Hannah would decide to tag along.
The machine sat four people, after all—two bucket seats in the front and two in the back.
She grabbed her helmet and sunglasses out of the back seat of her car, along with the steel water bottle that was scratched and beat up from bouncing around in their UTV.
She could see the front bumper of the Kowalskis’ side-by-side from where she stood, so she headed over to put her stuff down.
Since she knew they had at least one camera for the store and Danny seemed to have some kind of built-in Kenzie detector and always found her, she figured he’d meet her there.
But it was Rob who stepped out of the store to greet her. “Hey, Kenzie. How’s it going?”
“Good. You?”
“We’re good. Although, I think you broke my brother.”
That wasn’t something she’d ever heard before. She would have liked to come up with a snappy comeback, but her mind was otherwise occupied with imagining what Danny may or may not have told his family.
“We could barely drag him up here,” Rob continued, saving her from having to respond. “Now we can’t keep him away.”
She laughed, hoping it didn’t sound as forced as it felt. “That’s his book’s fault, not mine. He came up here and got unstuck, and I guess it probably made him like being up here.”
Rob looked at her a beat too long and then smiled. “Sure.”
“Is he around?”
“Yeah, his agent called so he went into the house to talk to him, but that was a while ago. He should be out any minute.”
As if they’d summoned him, Danny walked around the house carrying a small cooler, and his face lit up when he saw her. “Hey, Kenzie.”
“Was that a good agent call or an uh-oh agent call?”
“It was good. Mostly just touching base on a lot of different things. He said he would have sent an email, but he was driving and we hadn’t actually talked in a while.” He waved his hand toward the side-by-side. “She’s all gassed up and ready to go. You need a helmet?”
“I brought my own, so I’m ready when you are.”
“Have fun,” Rob said. “Hannah and I are going to go through some photos I took last week and plan out some social media posts. Captions. Hashtags. Fun stuff.”
The way he said it made Kenzie laugh because it was clear he didn’t find the social media aspect as fun as taking the pictures. “At least Hannah’s really good at that.”
He chuckled. “She told me she gave you some tips for the restaurant’s Facebook Page a few months back.”
“I’m really bad about updating it, other than posting when we’re going to be closed, but she did harass me into adding the hours we’re open. But I tapped out when she started urging me to get on Instagram. I can only take so many photos of spaghetti.”
Once he’d gone back inside, Kenzie watched Danny strap the cooler into the back seat of the side-by-side. His helmet was already sitting on the driver’s seat, so he picked it up and grinned at her. “You ready?”
Judging by the gleam in his eye, she wasn’t sure she was ready, but she picked up her helmet. “Let’s do it.”
He kept the speed down as they made their way out through the back of the campground, but once they met up with the main ATV trail, he opened it up a little.
The machine was a lot more powerful than Kenzie and her dad’s old workhorse, and she laughed, grabbing the safety bar when he slid it sideways through a corner.
He plowed through several big puddles, splashing them with muddy water, and she could hear his laughter over the roar of the machine’s engine. With her seat belt, the roll cage and his obvious skill driving the side-by-side, she wasn’t afraid, and they ate up the miles in an exhilarating blur.
Kenzie recognized the left turn he finally took, and he slowed drastically as he made his way up the narrow, rocky hill to one of the most popular scenic overlooks and picnic spots on the trail system. Because it was a Wednesday afternoon, they had the place to themselves.
Once he’d pulled the side-by-side along the edge of the tree line, she unbuckled and climbed out. She knew when she took her helmet off and set it on the seat that her hair would be a mess, but she didn’t care.
After removing his helmet, Danny opened the cooler and pulled out two bottles of water. He handed her one, and together they walked across the clearing to the edge, where the view stretched all the way to Vermont.
“I haven’t been up here in a while,” she said after taking a long drink. “I forget how pretty it is.”
“We used to come up here when I was a kid. The whole lot of us, with a little grill strapped to one of the four-wheelers, and coolers. We made for quite a parade, I’m sure.”
Kenzie laughed a few times while he shared a few stories from his family’s four-wheeling escapades, but she was conscious of how they each seemed committed to keeping space between them. Not a lot of space, but they wouldn’t be accidentally brushing arms.
Even though she desperately wanted him to haul her up against him and kiss her until neither of them could breathe anymore, she loved him even more for trying so hard to respect the boundaries she’d set.
Once they’d finished their drinks, they put their helmets back on and backtracked to the main trail. He took it easier this time, and she was able to enjoy the scenery as they went deeper into the woods.
They drove for almost an hour before he stopped by a walking trail that led out to a pond. It was a good place to spot moose in the early mornings and evenings, but Kenzie knew there wasn’t much chance they’d see one at this time of day.
“Up for a quick walk?” he asked after they’d removed their helmets.
“Sure. I think you splashed enough mud on me so the bugs won’t be able to find me.”
He laughed and then stepped into the distance between them to swipe his thumb over her cheek. “I should have warned you to keep your mouth closed when you ride with me. I don’t slow down for puddles.”
Kenzie watched him flick away the blob of mud. “I figured that out pretty fast.”
When Danny didn’t look away, but held her gaze as the smile slowly slipped from his lips, she held her breath. If he kissed her, she would be lost, and she absolutely couldn’t let that happen again.
But she couldn’t make herself take a step back.
* * *
In that moment, Danny wanted to kiss Kenzie more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. And if he couldn’t see the shadow of hesitation in her eyes—the certainty a kiss would be a mistake—he would have. Her conflicted feelings were written all over her face, and he backed up a step, smiling.
“Okay, my friend. Let’s get to walking. And keep your eyes out for wildlife.”
“To photograph or to run from?”
He chuckled as he fell into step beside her. “Depends on the wildlife, I guess. Or both? We could photograph each other running for our lives.”
Kenzie snorted. “I guess I could maybe get an action shot of you over my shoulder as I leave you behind to make new furry friends.”
“Oh, a challenge!” He laughed, shaking his head. “I kind of want to accept that challenge, but I also don’t want to be attacked by a furry woodland creature. It’s a conundrum.”
It was a moot point since their wildlife sightings were limited to squirrels and very angry sounding birds, but the insect population was in no way deterred by the mud drying on their shirts and faces, and they didn’t stand around long.
By the time they got back to the campground, the sun was getting low in the sky and the bugs were getting obnoxious. He was desperate for a shower, but he’d have to take the machine up to one of the empty sites on the hill with a water hookup and pressure wash it before putting it away.
After taking off her helmet and grabbing her water bottle out of the cup holder, Kenzie looked around the quiet campground. “It really is nice here. You and your brothers have done a great job of bringing it back.”
“Mostly them,” he was compelled to say because it was the truth, but he felt a rush of pride, nonetheless.
“They couldn’t have done it without you, so it’s a true team effort. It must be great to be able to have a dream like this and be able to make it happen.”
Danny heard the wistfulness in her voice, and he knew he should leave it alone, but he couldn’t. Kenzie deserved to chase her dreams. “What about you? What would you do if you could do anything?”
She laughed, a mirthless sound that pained him. “I gave up thinking about that a long time ago.”
“You shouldn’t have had to.”
Her sigh seemed to come from deep in her soul. “I have it pretty good, you know. I own my business. We own our home.”
“You work too hard.”
“That’s what it takes.” She shrugged. “And I like the work, honestly.”
“You should be able to take time off.”
“To do what?”
To spend time with me so we can see if this feeling between us is real.
“To have a life outside of that place. It’s been ten years.
It’s his responsibility to come to terms with his grief, and it’s your restaurant.
If you choose to sell it or hire somebody to take your place serving customers, you have that right. ”
“Would you walk away from one of your brothers if they needed you? If something happened to your dad, would you tell yourself it’s your mom’s responsibility to get herself together?”
“Not at first.” He shrugged. “But if it’s been a decade and everybody’s in the same place, then yes, there would at least be conversations about it.”
“Don’t push me on this, Danny. Not this.”
How could he not push when it felt as if his own future hung in the balance? “It’s just that I don’t see why it’s all or nothing. I understand you own the restaurant, but I don’t understand why you can’t hire a server to take your place.”
She spun to face him, her face flushed. “Because I work seven days a week, from six in the morning until two in the afternoon Monday through Wednesday, and from six until eight o’clock at night Thursday through Sunday.
And that’s just the time we’re open and doesn’t count all the admin work I do.
Neither the building nor our house have a mortgage, so we’re able to live comfortably on the profits, but you may have noticed this is a very small town in the middle of nowhere.
When you see us being super busy, consider how few tables we actually have.
My own personal income is basically my tips.
Do you know a person willing to work seventy hours a week for tips?
Because if you do, I’d love to meet them. ”
He swallowed hard, shamed by the quiet ferocity in her words. “I’m sorry.”
“I asked you not to push, Danny. I’d love to hire waitstaff and run around doing whatever I want, but it’s impossible.
And even if my dad was willing to give up my mother’s restaurant, he’d play hell finding a cooking job at his age, never mind one that’s even remotely local.
I know you don’t understand it, but my life is what it is, probably for another eight to ten years, at least. It’s hard and it’s exhausting, and when I’m about forty-five years old or maybe fifty—who knows—I’m going to find myself without a cook and have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. ”
The quiet but firm resignation in her voice felt like a blade slicing into his heart. “Kenzie, I—”
“I told you anything between us was impossible, and this is why. You’ve pushed, and now I’m backed into a corner where I have to choose between you and my dad.
Danny, it doesn’t matter what I want or how I feel.
I can’t choose you.” Tears were gathering in her eyes, and she turned toward where her car was parked.
“Thank you for the ride. Drive safe going home and good luck with your book.”
“I’m sorry,” he called after her. “Kenzie, wait.”
She didn’t even slow down, and he knew it wouldn’t do any good to run after her because there was nothing he could say right now to make it better.
He wanted her—needed her—more than he’d thought was possible for him. But she’d said it herself. She worked like seventy hours per week and there was no give in that. Would he be happy giving up his home and schedule and everything he liked about where he lived just to be alone most of the time?
Danny closed his eyes, hanging his head, as he listened to her car pull out onto the main road and accelerate. She’d told him it was impossible. Their story had a plot problem they couldn’t solve.
Maybe he should have believed her the first time.