13. Chapter Thirteen Rhowyn
Chapter Thirteen: Rhowyn
I woke to clanging noises, startled and unsure of where I was, but yesterday's events made themselves known when I started to move. My body ached all over as if I'd been hit by a truck. Sleeping on the ground all night hadn't helped the stiffness and pain any, that was for sure. I groaned as I pushed myself up to a sitting position, light filtering through the tent flap, letting me know it was morning. Unsuccessfully, I rubbed my hands over my eyes, trying to wake further. I could really use some coffee right about now.
I stretched my arms despite the protest screaming at me from my muscles. From experience, I knew that the soreness would work itself out once I got moving around, so I pushed up to standing, sliding my boots on in hopes of finding some caffeine.
I wandered through the camp, people already tearing it down in preparation for another long day of travel. As I reached the spot Baer had brought me for dinner last night, I found Arryn giving instructions to some of his men. I approached him, waiting for him to finish speaking to them, rubbing sleep from my eyes and sending up a small prayer that they had some coffee .
He turned to face me, a small smile on his lips as he took in my rumpled state. “Good morning, Rhowyn. Sleep well?” The corner of his mouth twitched at the question, lifting higher than the other side briefly.
“I've had worse nights, so I can't complain too much.” I smiled up at him as he drew nearer to me and tilted my head to meet his eyes. “Although a cup of coffee would go a long way toward making my morning better?” My statement was delivered as a question.
He laughed softly. “Baer guessed you might be needing some. Normally, we don't have any coffee in Avalon, but we brought plenty back with us for this reason.” He winked playfully, causing my weak knees to almost give out on me.
“I'll be sure to thank him for his foresight. I wouldn't have even thought to ask about that.” I took the mug he offered me and groaned at the first sip of heaven, my eyes shutting to savor the taste.
When I opened my eyes again to tell him thanks, I caught him staring at my mouth. I licked my lips, my stomach rolling with butterflies and awareness of the man before me. Slowly his eyes met mine. Unsure what else to say or do, I said, “Thank you,” meaning it. I wasn’t much of a morning person, but without my morning coffee, I could be a downright witch, and I definitely didn't want to start my day like that.
“It was my pleasure.” He nodded at me. Movement elsewhere in the camp caught his attention, and he finally glanced away from me. Noticing the approach of another soldier, he turned back to me. “We should be ready to leave in the next twenty to thirty minutes. Then we'll be on our way to the castle, hopefully arriving just after lunch.”
“Will we keep the same pace we did yesterday?” I asked, forcing myself to accept whatever answer he gave but desperately hoping for a much more sedate journey here on out.
“Yes, that’s the current plan. That way, we can arrive in time for whatever the Queen has planned for you while also allowing you time to freshen up,” he said, but I knew our conversation was over as the soldier stepped up next to him. “Excuse me, Rhowyn. I must finish overseeing our preparations.”
“Of course. I have what I need now,” I replied, lifting my mug slightly. “Thanks again.” I took another sip of the glorious nectar while he studied me as if unsure if I would be okay. “Go, I'll be fine,” I told him, smiling as he took me at my word and left to address whatever issues had arisen while helping me.
I watched him leave, his long legs carrying him away from me swiftly, and finished up my coffee. Once I was done, I handed my cup to the soldier who was packing up all the provisions and headed back to my tent. As I changed, I pulled my leggings down quickly to switch them for a pair of blue jeans. The fabric caught slightly and opened the friction burns on my inner thighs. I gasped, cursing at the sudden pain. Fuck! Today was really going to suck!
The sudden and intense pain dimmed to a dull, throbbing ache, so I slid into my jeans as gently as I could, but the tender burns made themselves known with each movement. I ignored it as best as I could and threw on another tank top, even though the morning was still pretty cool. Throwing on my boots and putting my hair up into a messy bun, I finished up my packing. Just in time too because as I stepped back outside, I noticed Baer with a couple of soldiers heading toward me.
“Good morning, Killer!” Baer called to me, grinning at me from ear to ear.
“Morning,” I replied. “By the way, thank you for the coffee. It was a godsend this morning.”
He laughed. “It was really for me. I've grown partial to it during my time on Earth and usually bring some back every time I come home. I just made sure to bring extra in case you were also a coffee drinker.” He winked at me.
“Well, it was a good gamble then.”
“Are you ready to go?” he asked. When I nodded in affirmation, he directed the other two soldiers to pack up my tent.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked, not used to having so many others working while I dawdled. I hated being useless.
“Nope. They'll have it all packed up in no time. Besides, you should get used to having others wait on you,” he replied, having guessed my issue.
“I don't think I'll be here long enough for that. At least, I hope not. I wouldn't make a good queen anyway.” I laughed at myself, but Baer frowned.
“I wouldn't discount yourself so quickly. Obviously, the land saw something worthy in you for it to call you to the trials.”
I laughed again. “Well, I'm sure I would be terrible at it. Besides, I don't even know anything about the land or the people,” I argued, certain that this misunderstanding would be corrected soon.
Baer eyed me as we walked to the horses, falling silent after my declaration. Once we reached the horses, he grabbed the reins to Meadow and held them while helping me mount. Before I could get into the saddle, he finally spoke, “Certain things can be learned. However, the things that make a queen great, such as honor, loyalty, and integrity, can't be taught. Those are things you either have or you don't.” He held my gaze, the unspoken words hanging heavily between us. He thought I had those things. He didn't realize that I was broken in too many ways to ever be a great leader.
I mounted up with his help, holding back my grimace and gasp as my thighs hit the saddle. Turning Meadow around, I joined Arryn and Lennox, who were already saddled and had been watching our exchange.
“You okay?” Arryn asked me softly, the change in my demeanor apparently obvious.
“I'm good. Let's get going,” I said, keeping my anger from my voice as much as I could. I wasn't angry with Baer, just at the hand that life had dealt me. None of them were to blame for that. If anything, Arryn and Baer had made this feel so easy for me, but I couldn't forget that this was not my life.
I had clawed out a small life back on Earth and that was enough for me. I was happy, for the most part, with what I had. I had earned everything on my own and that was more than most people managed. Maybe if I told myself this over and over, I’d begin to believe it.
“If you're sure,” Arryn said, not buying my words completely, but not pushing either. He rode off to get us started, and I relaxed slightly, glad to not have to talk about it.
“Come on, Princess,” Lennox sneered at me, jerking me from my thoughts as we all set out.
I ground my teeth again, the burns on my thighs screaming louder than before. After riding the last couple of hours at a canter, my bruised ass slapping the saddle and my thighs no longer able to hold me up, a moment of déjà vu assaulted my senses. The only difference today was the blood that was starting to seep through the denim of my jeans.
Great! These jeans would be ruined by the time we made it to the palace. Just what I needed on top of everything else.
“Killer, are you okay?” Baer asked, riding up beside me .
“Just peachy.” I forced a smile on my face, too stubborn to admit my pain, especially when Lennox glanced back at us.
I flashed Lennox a what are you looking at? Smile, and he laughed at me in response. Asshole.
“I wouldn't call him that once we reach the palace.” Baer laughed.
Shit! “Did I say that out loud?” At his answering laugh, I groaned, but it turned into a loud gasp of pain when Meadow missed a step, and my body slammed the saddle harder than normal. “Fuck!” I exclaimed before I could stop myself.
Baer eyed me and then raced up toward Arryn. Our group slowly stopped before they both raced back toward me. Just great . Noticing them at the same time, Lennox turned back to find out what was going on.
“Killer, you need to tell us what's wrong. I've seen the pain on you all morning but hadn't realized how bad it was.”
I gritted my teeth. “It's nothing I can't handle, Baer. Let's just get going again. The sooner we get there, the better,” I pleaded with him. I refused to be the weak link.
“It's not fine,” Arryn said firmly. I still didn't say anything.
“Come on, Princess. We aren't going anywhere until you tell us,” Lennox butted in, seeming bored and frustrated at the same time. I didn't even know that was possible.
They all stared at me, waiting. When I realized they meant it, I huffed. “Fine. I have friction burns on my legs from riding in yoga pants yesterday.” I glared at them before adding, “I'll be fine once we get there.”
“How bad?” Arryn asked me. When none of them listened and continued staring at me, I lifted a leg to show the blood I knew was there but hadn't looked at.
“Shit, Killer!” Baer exclaimed. I glanced down to see more blood than I had realized spreading down my jeans and smeared on the saddle.
“Why the fuck didn't you say anything?” Lennox snapped at me.
“Because it's not a big deal, and there's nothing anyone can do about it,” I snapped back at him.
He laughed at me darkly. “Arryn, please deal with this so we can be on our way again,” he barked at Arryn and rode away from us.
“Fucking asshole,” I said under my breath. Just another wonderful day in Avalon. When Arryn dismounted and walked over to help me down, I told him, “Really, I'm okay, Arryn. We can keep going. I don't want to hold us up any longer. I'll be fine.”
“You're not fine, Rhowyn,” he said to me, more firmly than he'd ever spoken to me, his anger evident even if it wasn’t in his voice.
He grabbed me by my waist to pull me down, and I let him, submitting to the fact that they wouldn't be happy until I did whatever it was they wanted. When he didn't put me down and carried me through the trees away from everyone else, I found myself puzzled and thankful. Walking would have been a bitch, which was part of the reason I hadn't wanted to get down. I caught sight of Baer following us over Arryn's shoulder.
“Where are we going?” I turned to look up at Arryn as he kept walking, but he didn't answer me. His eyes darted to mine briefly, but it was only long enough to see his anger, the muscle ticking in his jaw backing up that observation.
Once we were out of sight of the horses and men, he set me down gently. “Pull your pants down,” he demanded, more anger in his voice now.
I stepped back from him in dismay. “Excuse me!?”
“Killer, let me see the burns,” Baer jumped in, his eyes pleading with me full of concern. I studied them both before capitulating and unbuckling my pants. Arryn waved his hand while I pulled them down.
“Sit down,” he demanded again, and gestured behind me to a stump that hadn't been there before. His nostrils flared as I did as he instructed.
“Baer, clean the blood away so I can see how bad the burns are,” Arryn commanded.
Lowering to his knees between my legs, he did as he was told. Despite the pain, my center clenched at the sight of his honey brown hair that was now focused on the insides of my thighs, and I couldn't help wishing that he was down there for another reason. He paused briefly, his nostrils flaring wide before he groaned slightly. Before I could ask, he said, “These look pretty bad.” He gestured with his hands just before water ran down one side and then the other.
“Fuck, that burns!” I exclaimed, but I didn't move.
“Sorry, Killer,” he pleaded, glancing up at me before moving out of the way.
Arryn quickly replaced Baer between my knees and placed a palm directly to my thigh. I jumped and then squirmed at the heat that flowed between us where our skin met. He glared up at me. “If you had told us, I could have healed you before they got this bad.” His tone chastised me like I was a child.
His hand pulled away to reveal completely healed flesh before he moved to the other side. “How the fuck was I supposed to know you could heal me? It's not like I really know anything about any of y'all,” I snapped back, refusing to let them bully me.
That seemed to take him aback, but he gritted his jaw and continued until the warmth faded away again, both of my legs healed. As I stood to get away from him, I realized my muscles weren't sore anymore either. “Thanks,” I snapped out, truly grateful not to be in excruciating pain anymore, but still angry at their tones with me .
I pulled my pants back on but noticed blood was no longer staining the denim. “I didn't think you'd want to put them back on while they were stained,” Baer said softly.
As I buttoned them, I glanced at him, my anger fading some at his thoughtfulness. “Thank you, Baer.” I gave him a half smile, the best I could muster right now.
“Next time, please tell me when you're hurt. It's my duty to protect you,” Arryn asked me as I pulled my boots back on.
I sighed. “Look, I get it, but I don't appreciate being spoken to like a two-year-old child. I just didn't want to slow us down and didn't know there was anything anyone could do. I’m new to this whole magic thing, remember?”
“I do. And I apologize for my tone. It wasn’t my place to speak to you in that way. Please forgive me, Chosen.” His words were sincere, but a wall had been placed between us for some reason, and I didn't like it.
“It's fine, Arryn. Can we go now?” I asked, defeated by this day already, even though we were nowhere close to being done with it.
“Let's go, Killer,” Baer jumped in again, always soothing away the tension, placing me at ease, and distracting me from wondering what exactly had changed between Arryn and me.
They led me back to Meadow, the silence hanging heavily between us. As I mounted, I caught Lennox's eyes as they quickly scanned my body before he jerked his horse around and away from me in preparation to leave again. As if Lennox's hot and cold attitude wasn't enough, I now had Arryn doing the same. A part of me couldn't help but wonder if it was something I was doing wrong, but I quickly reminded myself it didn't matter. I was only going to be here a few more days anyway.
Baer tried to talk to me at first, trying to lighten the mood, but I wasn't really in a conversating mood. After only giving him short responses, he gave up and left me in peace with my thoughts.
Trying to keep my thoughts from spiraling downward, I focused on the scenery around me. While the trees around us were similar to the trees on Earth, these were much larger than any I had ever seen before. Their bark was an ashy gray-brown color, with several low hanging branches and an emerald, green foliage spreading out around us to form a tunnel of sorts and blocking out most of the sunlight.
Despite not finding a direct source of light, the tunnel we rode through was surprisingly not dark, and I could feel the warmth increase as the morning passed. There was some source that allowed us to see everything clearly without the shadows changing. It had to be a constant source of light to create such an effect, much different than the sun moving on Earth and the shadows I was used to.
A small breeze fluttered the green-blue leaves and brushed against my back and neck, instantly cooling any discomfort from the heat, and leaving me quite comfortable. For all intents and purposes, it seemed to be the perfect summer day, the same as yesterday, but I found that I was unable to enjoy it.
I always thought I'd love to travel, to see all the cultures and history the world had to offer. However, now that I had finally gotten an opportunity to do so, although not exactly what I'd had in mind, I couldn't help the sense of trepidation that continued to increase as we drew closer to our destination. My gut tried desperately to tell me something, but whatever it was, I couldn't figure it out. My anxiety continued to climb, and Meadow was starting to dance around under me, obviously feeling what I was projecting.
I took a deep breath and exhaled some of my tension. Whatever it was, I still had to go forward. I still had to speak with Master Jude to undo this whole chosen thing. There was nothing more I could do except ensure I paid attention to my surroundings closely. I needed to take in the small details, which was the best way to find the threats against me, ensuring my survival.
Slowly, I began to notice the trees starting to thin, indicating we were about to reach the end of this forest. At least that's how it went on Earth. Not much longer, my assumptions were confirmed when I spotted a large swathe of sky on the horizon. Hopefully, the capital wasn't much further from here.
Although I wasn't hurting or in pain anymore from our grueling ride, I still felt exhausted by everything that had gone on the last couple of days. I was looking forward to an actual warm shower and a nap.
Once we had cleared the trees, we all drew to a slow walk on the top of a hill, Baer and Arryn pausing while I caught up. They watched me as I took in the valley below us, which was full of homes, animals, and fae all bustling about. Behind them all was a large wall surrounding a fairytale castle that felt like it had been plucked straight out of a Disney movie.
My eyes widened at the sight. The occasional animal could be heard from this distance, but I paid them no attention as I gawked openly at Cashel Rí. Every little girl dreamed of having a castle such as this, but they really never believed it possible to obtain. And here I now stood, that dream within reach for me if what these men told me was true. Not that I'd know what to do with such obvious wealth or that I'd want all that it entailed, but to know it was real was unfathomable to me.
Baer chuckled at my reaction, and I turned to face him. “I didn't think it was all actually real,” I told him now that I was confronted with the truth.
“Everything we've told you has been the complete truth,” Arryn responded, his face remaining stoic as he watched me.
“I guess I didn't want to believe it. A part of me was still hoping this was all some delusion,” I said, turning to stare at the sights before me. The rest of the soldiers continued around us .
“Why didn't you want it to be real?” Baer asked me, but I could see the question in both their eyes.
“I don't know. I guess it's because if it was real, then that meant that everything I had ever known, up until now, was all a lie. Believing I was going crazy was easier to accept,” I replied honestly, my words trailing off as that reality set in.
“I can understand that,” Baer replied gently before continuing, “But just know that whatever you need, no matter what it is from here on out, I'll help you with it as best I can. You're not alone as long as I can help it.” His vow struck something deep within me. No one had ever promised me something like that before.
My throat tightened, and my eyes watered. Unable to speak, I nodded and then went back to assessing the scene. I wasn't able to take in any more details, my eyes watering and clouding my vision. Blinking the tears away, I took a couple deep breaths, just allowing myself a moment to come to terms with it all while using the excuse of studying the castle.
“Come on, Killer. I'm sure the Queen is now aware of our return and will be waiting for us,” Baer prompted me after I'd thankfully composed myself.
I wasn't foolish enough to think that neither had seen my moment of weakness. They were both too astute for that. It seemed that I kept having more and more of those moments around these two, and I wasn't sure exactly what that meant for me.