25. Chapter Twenty Five Rhowyn
Chapter Twenty Five: Rhowyn
The next morning, I was in the gym, stretching in preparation for my sparring match against Lennox after a light breakfast and some coffee. All the guys were here with me. Lennox warmed himself up, Baer and Arryn talked among themselves, and my wall-flower Callum was standing to the side, just watching us all.
Satisfied with my stretching, I bounced lightly on my feet, going through small movements to warm up my muscles, my heart rate increasing to invigorate me. I loved nothing more than a great sparring match.
Combat sports were far more than just a physical test of strength. It also tested mental fortitude and cunning. Fighting was nothing more than human chess, reading your opponent and setting them up for your combos and submissions. If I wanted to hit someone in the face, I could punch the body first or kick low to draw the focus and guard down, then strike quickly to land my hits in a combination to the face, my original goal .
Too many people thought it was all about hitting and kicking as a reaction, but it was so much more. I loved every aspect of it, even the pain and discomfort that always followed. My training partners always gave me hell because I was the only person they knew who smiled every time I was punched or landed a hit, my joy evident in every one of my movements.
“Alright, let's get this over with,” Lennox snapped at me, stepping onto the mats. I just grinned in response, following on bare feet, which made gripping the mat easier during kicking and grappling. “Just know that I take no pleasure in this,” he said, eyeing me up and down and frowning. “Where are your shoes?” he asked incredulously.
“I do much better like this. Trust me.” I smirked at him before winking. “Is that a problem, sweetheart?” After years of training with guys mostly, my shit talking was on point. Just some friendly verbal sparring to match the physical.
“It's your demise, Princess. I don't really care how it happens; I just don't want to hear any excuses when you lose.”
I laughed at him, a loud guffaw that seemed to catch him by surprise. “I'll remind you of that when I take you down. Now, quit stalling, and let's go.”
“If you insist, it's your funeral,” he replied, not quite as happy about this as I was.
With a nod from both of us, we began to circle each other, and I threw a couple of jabs to test his responses. He easily slipped my punches, but I wasn't concerned yet. I watched his feet, the way he shifted his weight, and his reactions. After a few minutes of this, neither really going hard, just testing each other, I started to see some patterns and weaknesses, despite his fighting style being nothing I was familiar with.
Knowing his reach was greater than mine, I had to close the distance in some way to even land a hit. Relying on my tried-and-true method, I kicked out at him, landing it on his left side and causing him to exhale as he bent over slightly. His hands dropped as a result of the kick, and I quickly closed the distance between us, throwing a hard right followed by a left hook, both landing heavily on his jaw.
I tried to land a right uppercut, but he recovered from my punches and pulled back before the last one in my combo could land. I backed out of his reach again, knowing he would come after me for those hits.
He lunged toward me and threw a couple of punches, which I easily slipped, circling around him to keep him off balance.
Seeing an opportunity, I ducked his jab, cross combination and lunged, wrapping my arms around his waist. As soon as I made contact, I twisted my body, one of my feet snaking behind his ankle, effectively tripping him in a textbook take down.
His breath rushed from his lungs as he landed on his back with me on top of him, surprise showing in his wide eyes. Focusing, I passed his guard and grabbed a single arm, trying to get an armbar. Regaining himself, he was able to slip his arm free, not realizing he had just put himself in a triangle choke, my thighs going around his neck and shoulder and squeezing. He thrashed around for a bit, but I held firm, seeing the realization cross his face before he called, “Alright! I give!”
I relaxed my legs and pushed him to his back, now straddling him in triumph, grinning from ear to ear. I sat for a moment, both of us trying to catch our breaths, our faces closer than I realized. The moment our eyes met, I couldn't have moved even if I had wanted to. Everyone else faded from my vision as we gazed at each other. The desire and anger I saw were so intoxicating that I couldn't look away. All of my logic had faded with the rest of the room, and I was overcome with the desire to kiss him, to feel his lips on mine. I had a feeling the two of us together would produce a passion capable of consuming us both .
I could see the same battle warring in his eyes and felt drawn to him in ways I couldn't understand. I knew he didn't deserve my affections, had done nothing to ingratiate himself with me, and had basically gone out of his way to make me feel unwelcome.
But the heart wants what the heart wants, or so I'd heard. I had never understood that saying, unable to understand the draw of an unhealthy relationship against all logical and sensible explanations and reasons. However, now I was starting to see how some connections didn't make sense and could be so darkly alluring, daring you to dance with danger among the flames.
A heavy hand landed on my shoulder, our interlude lasting but a moment, jerking me from the haze I was in. Apparently, it had done the same for Lennox because his gaze immediately flashed to pure anger, a cold burn that had me jumping to my feet to get away.
I was encircled by two thickly muscled arms and picked up, my feet dangling as I was spun in a circle while Baer exclaimed, “That was amazing!”
His grin was infectious, and pride bloomed in my chest, replacing the desire I had just vacated. Baer's enthusiasm made it impossible for me to return Lennox's anger. I tried to brush off his compliments, never really knowing how to respond, but he continued, “Seriously, I have never seen a fighting style like yours! Lennox never really knew what hit him. Literally!” he said, laughing at his own pun.
“That was rather incredible, Rhowyn. This is great because it gives us a massive advantage in the trials,” Arryn said, coming over to join Baer and I while Lennox stormed off to probably lick his wounds somewhere in private.
It wasn't the first time I had gotten that reaction from a guy and would probably not be the last. Most men didn't appreciate having their asses handed to them by a 5' 3” woman.
“You really think so?” I asked Arryn, ignoring Lennox's departure.
“Of course! Though the traditional stand-up was more familiar, the wrestling part was revolutionary. We've never really trained in that area, so most of our knowledge is instincts, which tell us to just get back up to our feet,” Baer replied before Arryn could answer.
“In that case, I can teach y'all some Jiu Jitsu basics. I've been training in it for years, and it takes most people decades to truly master, but just having a general understanding can do wonders,” I offered, glancing at them both and catching sight of Callum in the background, standing with his arms crossed and a look of disgust on his face.
I was used to that reaction, too, having grown up in a conservative state and town where women's contact sports were frowned upon, not accepted by very many despite living in the twenty-first century.
“That would be great. I'll make sure to get some sessions in our schedule. We could use any advantage we can get,” Arryn replied, ever the organizer.
I smiled at him fondly. “Sounds like a plan. So, what's next on the agenda today?”
Arryn glanced around us, looking for something, or rather, someone. “Actually, Lennox was supposed to see if you had an affinity for Winter magic, but he seems to have left us suddenly.”
“I can't imagine why?” I feigned innocence, my sarcasm thick.
Both Arryn and Baer chuckled, and I smiled. “I'll go find him and drag him back,” Baer offered.
“Good. Make sure he understands we don't have time for this. Here, in training, he won't be treated as the crown prince. It only makes us weaker as a group,” Arryn stated, irritated.
Baer saluted playfully. “Will do, Captain,” he teased, before hurrying off and leaving Arryn and I with smiles.
Arryn turned to me as Baer left. “I guess, in the meantime, we can have you work with Callum to test your Autumn affinities.”
I held back the groan that was my first instinct, not really wanting to spend time with him after he’d been so judgmental and withdrawn and making no effort to get to know me. However, I knew I needed to do this if I was to have any hope of surviving the trials.
“Sure. I guess now's as good a time as any,” I confirmed as we both turned to face the man in question.
“Callum,” Arryn called out, “do you mind helping to see if Rhowyn can access Autumn magic since Lennox needed a break?”
I couldn't hold back a smirk at the polite mention of Lennox's hissy fit. Unlike Callum's stoic facade that rarely gave anything away, my face showed every emotion I felt.
He nodded, not bothering to use words, and ambled over, his bulky frame moving fluidly for someone with so much muscle. When he joined us, his eyes found mine, measuring me. He didn't even look away as Arryn said, “Great. I'm going to step over here to get the weapons ready for later, but I'll be close enough if either of you get injured.”
I broke Callum's and my stare down, glancing at Arryn in alarm. “Why would we get injured?”
“Callum has an affinity to fire magic, which is one of the most dangerous and hardest elements to control. Thankfully, I'm a healer, as I'm sure you remember.” His eyes heated with a different fire, and I blushed at the reminder of his hands on my inner thighs, healing my wounds from the horseback ride.
“Yep! I definitely remember,” I exclaimed, rushing over my slight awkwardness at being turned on by that and in front of another guy who soaked my panties for a different reason. Although, at the moment, I was kind of turned off because of his sexist disgust.
Arryn chuckled as he left me with the pig of today, neither of us speaking as we faced each other. That's right prick, I can be just as stubborn as you, I thought, unwilling to back down.
I studied his wide shoulders, tree trunk arms, and thighs that were as big as my waist, wondering how he managed to fit through the door frames. He was slightly shorter than Arryn but taller than Baer and Lennox. While Lennox was slender with a very lean muscle tone, Baer was stockier and about the same height, while Arryn and Callum were the largest. Arryn being about four inches taller than Lennox and Baer. Callum was a beast of a man and though not my usual type, I wanted to climb him like a tree.
He had a dark auburn shaggy mane obviously not having trimmed it in a while that touched the collar of his shirt and fell into his eyes from time to time. His eyes, that held mine captivated again, were hazel, greenish brown. The brown seemed to almost flicker like flames, the element he supposedly had. Everything about him screamed dangerous, and I just knew that he would be a much greater challenge physically than Lennox.
I never was much of the type to back down; it had gotten me into a lot of scrapes over the years, to include those I couldn't possibly win, but I was a fighter through and through. Callum let out a growl, which rumbled deeply in his massive chest, the sound instantly turning me on. I refused to be intimidated, though, and held my ground and silence. “Stubborn wench,” Callum muttered angrily under his breath.
Instead of making me angry, I had to hold back a smile at my victory. “I've been called that and worse too many times to count. You'll have to do better than that if you want to offend me,” I told him, placing my hands on my hips in challenge.
He sighed in frustration, shaking his head at me. “That was not my intention, lass. I was simply stating a fact.” He had an almost Irish or Scottish accent, which had always been a weakness of mine, not that I'd ever heard one in person. Now that I had… Whew! It was by far the best, I thought, while mentally fanning myself.
The others had a more Americanized British accent, which also did things to me, but his voice was a gravelly honey sound, if that made any sense. Not sure how I hadn't noticed it before, but if I had to guess, it would probably be that he hadn't spoken much around me.
“Ah,” I said, “so you do know how to speak. I was beginning to wonder.”
“I speak only when necessary. Has anyone ever told you that you are a truly vexing and brash woman?”
I shook my head, wobbling it from side to side indecisively. “Not in so many words, no.” At that, I couldn't keep the grin back.
“Why am I not surprised that you find that to be amusing?” he asked, a mix of frustration and amazement on his usually placid face.
I shrugged in answer, my smile going nowhere. He sighed heavily. “So, from what I have gathered, you had no access to your magic until yesterday? That you have no idea as to what affinities you have?”
“That sounds about right. I'm totally new and clueless to this whole magic and fae thing,” I replied, my hands going into both pockets as I relaxed around him.
“This magic and fae thing, as you call it, is no game. The Court is dangerous, so it's important you focus and train. You have a lot to catch up on in a very short amount of time,” he chastised me like I was some six-year-old child playing at being an adult, and it pissed me off.
“You think I don't know that? That I don't realize how serious this is or that I basically know nothing? I was ripped from my world and everything I know, plopped into these stupid trials, of which I want nothing to do with, and now you're upset because I have the audacity to try to have fun with this whole messed up ordeal?” I snapped back at him, so mad that I wound up poking him in the chest with my index finger toward the end of my mini rant.
He didn't like that at all, his jaw clenching and flexing as he held himself back, but he kept himself still and quiet until I was finished, my anger cooling as quickly as it came. We stood face to face, both at odds again just as I’d thought we were warming toward each other. Maybe this whole consort thing wasn't as perfect as the guys believed it to be. Between Lennox and Callum, I seemed to constantly be making one or both of them upset in one way or another.
Surprising me, Callum closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking, “How about we see if you have an affinity to Autumn magics?”
Not quite ready to warm back up to him again, I asked, “So what do you have in mind?” I crossed my arms and cocked a hip as I waited for his instructions.
“Autumn has many different variants that coincide with the season. When you think of Autumn, what comes to mind?” he asked me.
“Ummm...I'm not really sure I've ever thought about it, if I'm honest,” I admitted to him.
“Autumn is often overlooked by many, so I'm not surprised. Autumn is one part in the cycle of life and death. Like a life lived, it represents wisdom gained before death, the harvesting of fruits and crops, celebrations in preparation for the fruitless season of death, animals migrating or reaching maturity and the many changes they undergo to ensure survival. The least of which is fire that represents the color of change and consumes everything in its path, but the nutrients left behind allow for a fruitful spring and rebirth,” he patiently explained, opening my eyes to the beauty of the season.
“When you put it like that, I can see its beauty. So, what magic represents all of that?” I asked, finally interested in learning more and not minding his current demeanor. As long as he kept all that anger to himself, we would be just fine.
“The Autumn Fae can do many things with crops and harvesting, such as speeding up the ripening process. They can control the animals, or if they're powerful enough, they can become one, changing their shape into one or many different animals. They can...”
“Wait!” I interrupted him. “You mean you guys can shift?”
“That's a new way of putting it, but yes. Autumn Fae...”
“I just thought that was all make believe! I never thought it was possible!” I exclaimed, interrupting him again.
He sighed. “Are you done interrupting me yet?”
“Yup! Sorry,” I apologized sheepishly, realizing I was being quite rude. “Please continue. I'll try not to interrupt again, it's just that this is kind of really cool,” I told him.
“Well, Autumn usually starts to cool off towards the end,” I giggled, realizing he didn't understand American slang. He glared at me before continuing, “However, wind and cold are controlled by Spring and Winter, respectively. Autumn fae also have a drive for knowledge and the arts. In creating it and obtaining it. Finally, there's fire, the most unpredictable and dangerous of the elements that only a rare few can manage safely. It takes decades to master and control. I have both animal magic and fire,” he finished proudly.
Conceited much? I thought to myself, knowing better than to say it out loud. Instead, I kept my thoughts to myself. “Okay, so how does this apply to me? How do we find out which one I have an affinity for?” I asked him, changing the subject.
“There are any number of ways to go about this, but the most common is to take a deeper look at your magical core. By doing so, you should just know. Which would save us all quite a bit of time,” he told me, almost annoyed that he had to deal with me.
Feeling a little defensive, I replied, “Okay, Yoda, how exactly do I go about doing that? And how do I know what I'm even looking at when I do this?”
He sighed, a puzzled look at my nickname for him, but he ignored it. “As I said earlier, each season has a feeling to it. The seasons themselves represent life and death respectively. Accordingly, you should be able to tell me how your magic feels to you. Based on that, we should know better which direction to go in.”
“So, I just do what I did yesterday with Master Jude?” I asked, not really believing this would work.
“Yes. You should meditate and pull on your magic inside you, listening to what it has to say to you,” he grumbled, crossing his arms in irritation with me. Patience was not his strong suit.
I huffed but sat down on the mats, crossing my legs in preparation of meditating. “Fine. But no promises. I have no idea how to do whatever it is you’re asking me to do, but I'll give it my best shot.”
I closed my eyes, and as I started to focus, I heard him shuffle around, eventually sitting next to me. I could feel his gaze on me, drawing my attention to the warmth that seemed to radiate from him, warmer than a normal person would emit in body heat. I wondered if it was because his element was fire, and then what it would be like to lie with him. If he was this warm now, I could only imagine how hot he would be in the throes of passion.
“Focus,” he growled at me, obviously aware somehow that my mind was not on the same kind of magic. That growl did something to me every time, and it did not help me to focus. If anything, it made it more difficult to keep my mind from picturing him making that noise as he came .
Ugh! That's not where my mind needed to be right now. I needed to focus. I needed to know how to use my magic so I could survive these damn trials and go home. I didn't need to get entangled with yet another of my consorts. Two was enough for me for now. Two was too many honestly, more than I had ever been drawn to at one time. What was with me lately?
“You need to focus, Rhowyn. You can't expect to get anything done without it. You obviously know how to; you wouldn't be as skilled as you are in combat if you didn't. So, take that same drive and turn it to this,” he chastised me again. This time, I was only mad at myself, because he was right.
“I'm trying. I really am, but you're distracting,” I admitted to him.
“Me? How am I distracting? I'm just sitting here,” he asked, flabbergasted with my accusation.
“Yes, you. I can feel the heat from your body, and you’re growling. It's making me think of other stuff besides finding my magic,” I explained to him, my eyes still closed.
“And what, you want me to turn off my body heat?”
“I don't know, but with you this close, I can't think of anything other than seeing if you would burn me if I touched you,” I admitted to him reluctantly, but needing him to leave so I could focus on what we needed to be doing.
He was silent for a long moment, not making a noise, but I could still feel him watching me and the warmth from his body. Finally, he shuffled and then stood, moving away from me.
I took a deep breath, the first one since he'd sat down next to me. I repeated that process until, finally, I could feel my consciousness slipping into my body and heading for that ball of magic I had discovered a couple of days ago. It glowed and pulsed inside me now, dancing to the rhythm of my life, my heart, my breaths, my thoughts. It was everything that made me who I was, and yet I knew nothing about it.
I pictured myself catching a strand that flicked by my view, lightly closing my imaginary hand around it. I felt it hum through me, from my fingertips to my head and then back down to my toes. It buzzed inside me, causing me to inhale in shock at the fullness I suddenly felt. It was intoxicating, this feeling, and I wondered how I could have gone my whole life without ever knowing what it felt like.
“Describe what you're feeling to me.” Callum's voice drifted to me, softly and just outside of my hearing, careful not to disturb my meditative state.
“I don't know. It's consuming. To the point I can hardly think of anything else,” I admitted, still buzzing as the magic poured through me. But as I sat there, I drew in more and more strands, the pressure of the magic building within me until I started to feel an ache. As more and more magic coursed through my veins, my cells, I started to feel electric, almost as if I had stuck my finger into an outlet.
The longer I sat there, the more the pressure grew, to the point that I was now starting to hurt in my fingers and toes, and I could feel it creeping up my arms. Panic ensued, but I didn't know why. I felt like I would combust if I didn't release the magic, but I didn't know how. A tear ran down my cheek as the pain built inside me, both mentally and physically.
“Rhowyn, let it go,” Callum demanded harshly, realizing what was going on.
“I... I c-can't.” I gasped out as the tears started to flow more freely, the magic consuming me, now up to my elbows and burning my insides.
“You must let it go. Let it go now, Rhowyn!” His tone became more insistent, and I heard more footsteps rushing over to us. He was close to me now. If I had to guess, he was crouching in front of me. His concern added to my panic I was now feeling because I couldn't seem to stop this.
“I'm trying!” I gasped through my clenched teeth, the pain becoming more unbearable, and I briefly wondered how I was still sitting upright and not curled into a fetal position.
“She needs to cast a spell, or it will consume her. She'll burn out.” I heard one of the guys say, but I couldn't focus enough to determine which one.
“And how exactly do you expect her to do that? She doesn't know any spells, and we don't even know which affinity she has,” Callum growled in response.
A sob escaped me as the pain reached my shoulders, and I knew that if something didn't happen soon, this would devour me, killing me before I had even had a chance to start. “It hurts. Please, help me,” I begged them, hoping one of them had the answers to help me.
“Move!” I heard one of them yell, and I felt the immediate removal of Callum's heat, followed by an icy chill that soothed my nerve endings slightly. I sobbed in relief but knew that whatever was happening hadn't stopped yet.
“Princess, I need you to listen to me for once,” Lennox demanded.
“O-okay. I'll t-try,” I sobbed, wanting to move closer to him and his cool presence. But I couldn't move, stuck where I was by whatever was consuming me now. So much magic. So much power coursing through me.
“No. You will, Princess. For once in your life, do as I say,” he demanded harshly, snapping me back into my determined mindset. He was right. I didn't have a choice. If I wanted to survive, I needed to fight.
“Okay.” It was all I could manage to get out through my clenched teeth as the magic crept through my chest, making breathing more difficult.
“I'm going to take your hands now. Do not pull away, no matter how painful it gets,” he instructed me, not giving me a chance to argue. I felt his hands touch mine. It was like diving into freezing waters after being sunburned. So cold, it burned, but was only a small relief against the conflagration raging inside of me.
I clamped my hands down onto his, holding him tightly. I wanted to crawl into his lap as he sat opposite me, the icy touch soothing and painful all at once. I could feel the pressure backing away from my heart, back where it had come from. It was coursing from me and into him, but I had no idea how he was doing it.
“Now, Princess, I need you to focus. I need you to push the magic into me slowly. I need you to keep it from rushing into me too quickly and from overwhelming me. If it manages to do that, then it will snap back into you and kill us both,” he instructed, his tone brooking no argument from me.
“Okay,” I said, determined to make it through this. I wasn't ready to be done. I wasn't ready to call it quits. I still had too many questions that I needed answered. This couldn't be the end for me. So, I clamped onto my will, the one that had gotten me through the years of abandonment and abuse and turned me into a fighter.
“Now, Princess. Start pushing now.” He told me as if he’d known that I’d decided to fight and was ready to make this happen.
I didn't bother responding; just nodded while I kept my whole focus on picturing a wall inside me, blocking the magic from my body. One that could move and repel the magic back. I pushed it slowly back from my chest to my arms and shoulders. I could feel the sweat breaking onto my brow as I concentrated, rolling down my neck and back.
I was getting tired, but I was only about halfway done with pushing the magic out of me. Knowing this, I tried to pick up the pace a little, afraid I wouldn't be able to last at the current one.
Lennox gasped. “Too fast, Princess! Slow down!” His hands clamped down on mine even harder, almost breaking my concentration and causing me to drop the image of the wall. I knew if that wall crumbled, I was done for. I wouldn't have enough energy to make it through another attempt.
I backed off and heard him sigh slightly. “Nox, I don't think I can last much longer,” I admitted on a sob.
“Nope. None of that, Princess. You don't get to give up so easily. Now, focus and push. You're almost there,” he prodded at me, pushing me to continue.
My tears mixed with the sweat that was now flowing freely from my body. I could feel myself trembling at the intensity of the burning that continued to course through my arms, finally past my elbows and in my forearms. I was so close. But I was so tired.
“Nox, I'm so tired,” I whimpered, feeling the flicker of the wall in my mind and the panic started to return. My breaths increased with my heart rate, my heart feeling like it would burst from my chest.
“I didn't think you were a quitter, Princess. I thought you were some kind of badass. I thought badasses wouldn't let this get the better of them. Or are you not a badass?” he questioned me, needling at me on purpose. I knew what he was doing, trying to make me angry to get my determination back. The only problem was, I was almost too tired to care.
Almost against my will, my pride got the better of me and pushed the wall harder at his words, causing him to gasp. “That's it, Princess. Show me what you got,” he demanded.
I could feel the magic in just my hands, the pain centralized there, and the burning was the worst I had ever felt in my life. I could feel it creeping toward my fingers as I mentally shoved the wall with everything I had left inside me. I screamed out loud, pushing that final stretch of the way, giving one final heave as my voice gave out.
As the final traces of magic left me, I collapsed on the mats, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath. I was so tired, I could feel it in my hair, not even able to open my eyes. I could tell I was about to pass out, when an icy palm landed on my cheek. “Good job, Princess. You can rest now.”
I did just that and allowed myself to succumb to the blackness that had crept in to consume me, passing out.