Chapter 7
The Hunger
Harper
Luke squeezes me, then releases me. The air of lighthearted competition we had going is gone at the thought of dinner with Luke’s father. I smile at the others, but yeah, not exactly what I want to do. Luke’s father is a dick and an abusive asshole.
I’m never going to make it through dinner with him without calling him every name in the book for what he does to his own son.
“We’ll need to coordinate in case things go sideways.” Luke’s mind is already working on it. His gaze locks on Caden. “I need you ready to pull Harper out if need be.”
Caden nods, but his whole body is tense. Pull me out, not pull us both out. I want to turn and wrap my arms around Luke tight. Part of me doesn’t want to go through with this if he’ll get punished for it. The other part knows I won’t leave him behind.
“The party tonight.” Eli glances around at all of us. “We need to make waves.”
“Ethan.” Caden cracks his knuckles. I swallow hard remembering what that asshole said to me.
“We’ll work out what needs to be done.” Luke smooths a hand down my back.
Jack steps forward and holds his hand out to me. “Come on, sweetheart. You and I have a date and these guys need to figure out what sort of torture they’re going to devise for Ethan Parker.”
I search his crystal blue eyes before turning to Luke. “I want to help.”
Luke’s lips press into a thin line. Running my thumb over his lips, I tip my head down like a bull getting ready to charge. I can’t give in on this.
“I’m part of this. They aren’t coming after you.
They’re coming after me. He thinks I’ll need protection from whoever is trying to take you guys down.
That I’ll beg him. He obviously wanted to rile you guys with the things he said to me.
I’m sick of being your weakness.” I blow out a breath and soften my touch.
“Maybe if they see how we work together they’ll think twice about coming after me again. ”
“It’s not a bad idea.” Nico’s eyes meet mine and I smile. “She can show her strength. The whole point is to get them to back off. Make her the bait or the trap. Either way they’ll see we aren’t afraid to put her into play and that she can hold her own.”
My heart thumps with every word he says. It’s everything I want to hear. I love that Nico feels that way, but I need them all to feel that way.
“You can’t always protect me. We know that.” I return my gaze to Luke’s pale blue eyes. “Let’s show them I’m not just a pawn.”
Luke shifts me on his lap so I’m straddling him. “I don’t want to put you in dangerous situations.”
“Too late.” I smile wearily and cup his jaw. “I’m already there. All we can do is try to scare off the people who are half ass into this. The followers who are actually still afraid of the horsemen. Fuck, the leaders are obviously still afraid of you if they come after me instead of you.”
His eyes take on a calculating gleam. “You do everything we say and don’t take any unnecessary risks.”
My heart bursts with confetti. I grin and lean forward to kiss him. His grip tightens on my hips as he deepens the kiss. The ache I feel for them never goes away. I need more of them. I want more.
When I begin to tug on his shirt so I can touch his bare skin, Caden coughs.
“Focus, little nympho,” Caden says. “We can all fuck later. Right now, we need to devise a plan, because Ethan needs to learn you aren’t up for grabs. And we need to learn what master he’s serving.”
I pull back and there’s a promise in Luke’s eyes. If I didn’t need to participate in this conversation, I’d be down on my knees with his hard cock thrusting into my throat. I squirm at the desire swelling inside me. I don’t hate the idea of that.
Pressing my lips against Luke’s one more time, I shift into the seat next to him on the couch. Our legs touch and he grabs my upper thigh to keep me close to him. I almost smile at the possessiveness.
“Where do we start?”
When Jack and I finally take off, the guys and I have a firm plan in mind for tonight’s party. I’m floating because they included me. Jack pulls the car into his driveway and gives me a smile.
“Come on, sweetheart.”
My insides fucking sparkle. Things are weird around us, but everything with the guys feels solid. We’re on the same page.
I’m also seriously excited to have alone time with Jack. I’ve been in everyone else’s bedroom except for his.
“Was it weird for me to ride with Coach Turner for you?” I ask as he comes around the car and takes my hand.
As we walk to his door, he thinks about his answer.
“In a way, yes. In a way, no.” He opens the door and we step into a really nice house.
Bigger than mine, but still a family home.
There’s a bin of toys in the corner of the living room.
The furniture looks comfortable. As we pass through the kitchen to grab something to drink, there are drawings on the refrigerator.
I touch one that’s obviously Jack as a prince and a little girl as a princess. “Your sister loves you.”
His smile softens as he hands me a Diet Coke. “Yeah, Lucy is the best.”
“I always wanted a sister or brother.” I take a sip and look around. “Hell, half the time I wished my father was still around, even though I don’t really know him.”
Jack puts his arm around my waist and leads me up the stairs.
When he opens the door, I walk into the familiar space.
His desk has multiple monitors and one of them is huge and curved.
I don’t see that on the webcam. His bed has the comforter thrown over it like he tried to make his bed, but didn’t put much effort into it.
He sits on the bed and pats the spot next to him. I join him without any hesitation.
“So yes and no?” I bring us back to the conversation about Coach Turner.
He leans back on his hands and shakes his head. “Yes, it was weird knowing at one point I had the beginnings of a relationship with Coach Turner.”
I nod and take a sip of my drink. “What happened when you found out he was your coach?”
His smile is world-weary. “That ended anything that might have been between us. I knew he was older, but we never talked about his job or why he’d moved to town. I was just excited about him in general.”
I’m afraid if he says more he’ll tell me he loved him. So I ask about the other half of his statement. “And now?”
“He’s not you.” Jack sits up and takes my drink, setting it on his desk.
“What does that mean?”
Jack returns to sit next to me. He slides his hand behind my neck into my hair. “It means he and I could have been something if I pushed it or he pushed it. But it never would have gotten there on its own.”
He tugs my head back so my face is tipped up to his. He searches my eyes.
“But you...” When he caresses my thigh, my breath catches as heat chases through me.
“Me?” Breathing is difficult with him right here, a whisper away, touching me, making me crave so much more.
“You’re more and always will be.” He claims my lips and the fire inside me bursts into an inferno. That connection between us solidifies tighter.
I fall into the kiss, feeling it sear into my heart. The others don’t make it easy to fall for them. They all have these blocks up, but Jack is open. He’s let his guard down around me over and over again.
He’s picked up my pieces when the others tried to shatter me.
When he lifts his mouth from mine, our eyes lock. “We’re complicated guys. It’s going to take a lot to get any of us to fall, but I can see it happening, sweetheart. But you need to be open to them too.”
I open my mouth to ask him how much more open can I be? I’ve let them inside me. Let them decide my future.
He smiles and kisses my lips before I can say any of that.
“Your body is ours. Our bodies are yours. But you have this lock around your heart.” Jack’s hand settles over my heart between my breasts. “I know it’s a little broken and you’re trying to hold the pieces together. But if you let it fall away, they’ll love you more than you could ever imagine.”
I blink. I can see each of them. Luke. Caden. Eli. Nico. They all want me. And I know they want more from me than just my body, but how do I fully let them in and protect myself? They could still break my heart.
I search Jack’s blue eyes. “What about you?”
He smiles and his thumb sweeps beside my lips. “I know what love is. I’ve seen the very best of it and not what happens when it’s torn apart. My parents are happy. Do they struggle sometimes? Yes, but they’re healthy about it.”
I keep my mouth closed. My mom loves me unconditionally. Supports me unconditionally.
“You and I could fall in love. If that’s what you want, sweetheart.” Jack arches an eyebrow. “It would be easy compared to loving the others, but I don’t think we could just love each other without the others. And I don’t know that you can give your heart in pieces.”
His lips brush over mine as my mind processes what he’s trying to say. My heart flutters and my stomach twists. No one’s said anything about love. There’s lust and desire and possessiveness, but that doesn’t equal love.
“I don’t think they can love me,” I whisper when he pulls away again.
“Maybe not the flowers and rainbows love or the princess waiting for her prince love. But I’m confident none of them wants to let you go and each of them would protect your heart with everything in them if you gave it to them.” His smile is warm. “We could love you, sweetheart. If you let us.”
“I don’t know what to say to that.” Honestly, I’ve never thought about loving them. Have I felt that I could? Yes.
“Don’t say anything.” Jack leans his forehead against mine. “Just don’t shut us out. Let us prove to you we deserve your love.”
A nervous laugh bursts out of me. “Luke—”
“Luke has only been loved by us. Everyone else in his life uses him. His father uses him for his legacy. Sidney used him for sex and popularity.” Jack sighs. “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love hard when he does. He just doesn’t recognize it as easily.”
Each of them have shown me a softer side and I know it wouldn’t take much to love them. Not really. Even Luke.
I rub my hand over my heart. “Jack—”
He puts his hand over mine. “Not today, sweetheart. I just want you to open up to the possibility of falling. We’re not there yet. Though if the guys would pull their heads out of their asses, they’re closer than they think.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” I search his beautiful blue eyes.
“Because I don’t want to use you. I don’t want to just be a guy who owns you. I want you to own me and want me. I want to know at the end of the day this is what we all want. To be together. Not just this year. Not just through college. I want to choose you, Harper. And I want you to choose us.”
He pulls me onto his lap, so I’m straddling him. “I’m not telling you this to freak you out.”
“You’re doing a great job.” I rest my hands on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart.
He chuckles. “I just need you to know that you aren’t alone. That I know what love is. And I know when I see it. But the others might have a harder time coming to it. And that has nothing to do with you.”
I can see it. Luke’s abusive father. Caden’s absent parents. Eli’s feuding parents. Nico’s disconnect from his father. I know my boys are broken.
“What do you want, sweetheart?” Jack pushes his hand beneath my shirt, teasing my bare skin. “Because I have you to myself and want to fuck you at least twice in the time we have left.”
My skin heats. “How much time do we have left?”
He glances at his phone and smirks. “Three hours.”
“Three hours?” My words get lost as he rolls me onto my back and rests over me. My fingers slide into his silky dark hair.
“Worried you can’t keep up?” He arches an eyebrow and all the worry falls away from me. Because that’s it. He’s said his peace and now he wants to get a piece.
“You think I can’t get off twice in three hours?” I settle back against the bed and smile up at him.
His chuckle is dark. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re going to come so much you’ll be screaming my name so loud the neighbors might call in a noise complaint.”
My mind can’t seem to settle though. Could I love them? Yes, I could. But should I is the real question. Because if I give my heart to these broken boys, they may just tear it up and spit it out.
“Stop thinking for the next few hours.” Jack kisses me until it’s difficult to remember my own name.