Chapter 16
The Body Count
Harper
When Caden doesn’t come back to bed, I relax into Jack. The door clicks as he steps out. My curiosity stirs. After all, who would knock at this time on a Sunday? But then my bladder also stirs. Urgently. When I try to shift off Jack’s stomach, his hands tighten around me.
“I need to pee, Jack.” I tap my hand on his chest.
He cups my breast and squeezes before he releases me with a chuckle.
Rolling my eyes, I slip off the bed. I grab a t-shirt and pull it on before heading into the bathroom. We all slept naked again last night. It’s becoming a habit and one I’m not opposed to.
Luke’s cologne wafts up from the shirt and my insides soften. He pulled away last night after he and Eli took care of me. The intensity with which he held me was too much, I guess.
After I pee and clean up, I’m washing my hands when the door opens and Luke comes in. His hair falls over his eyes as his gaze drops to my ass cheeks. He moves into the bathroom and closes the door.
I hold my breath, waiting for whatever he’s going to do. When he steps closer, he lifts the shirt to look at the marks the belt left. It’s really not bad. But he winces and grabs the ointment off the counter.
“You should put this on three times a day.” It’s like he’s put a wall up between us. After last night, it feels wrong. He refuses to meet my eyes as he squirts the ointment onto his fingers and rubs it into the still tender spots.
When I hiss in pain, he glances up and regret fills his eyes. Fuck, my heart breaks a little for him.
“Luke—”
He steps away, but I turn and close the distance between us.
“Don’t,” he says. The word is like a knife to my heart, but I push through the pain.
I rest my hand on his chest. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want.”
His eyes are hooded as they meet mine. Fuck, he doesn’t believe me.
“I would have said my safe word if it was too much. I would have fought harder.” I trace an infinity pattern on his chest. “The others would have stopped you if it was too much. Luke, please.”
His arms come around me and he pulls me in tight against him like he can’t help himself.
Maybe he’s as powerless as I am to fight whatever is growing between us.
My cheek rests against his steady heartbeat.
I breathe him in and wrap my arms around his waist, needing to be close to him. To assure him I’m okay.
“I don’t want to be him.” The words are so soft I barely hear them, but when I do, they cut through me. His father.
“You’re not, Luke.” I kiss his chest and look up into his tortured eyes. “You’re not like him. Not at all.”
I cup his jaw, rubbing at the scruff there. “You knew what I needed and you gave it to me. I want you, Luke. I need you.”
His forehead presses to mine. His hand curves around my neck, sending shivers of awareness through me. “I can’t do that to you again, princess. I can’t.”
“I won’t ask you to. I promise.”
Caden
When I finally walk back into my room, I’m surprised to find Harper sitting next to Luke on the couch with her legs over his lap and her head resting on his shoulder. A t-shirt that isn’t mine covers her. She has a pillow under her ass. The others sit around in their boxers with the TV on.
“We need to talk,” I say.
“About?” Luke turns off the TV.
I run a hand through my hair and sit in the chair across from Jack, Luke, Harper, and Nico. Eli sits in the other chair.
“Ava’s home.”
Jack’s eyes narrow. “What happened?”
“She’s not saying why, but our parents sent her home after she got suspended from her school.” I run my hand through my hair again. Fuck. “She wants to go to school here.”
Just what I need, another fucking target to worry about.
“What about Tanner?” Harper straightens and concern fills her eyes.
“I don’t fucking know.” And that’s the problem. My focus has been solely on Harper this year. Now Ava’s back and she won’t tell me why. Which can’t be good. I lift my gaze to Harper and give her an apologetic look. “I need today to figure out her shit.”
“You want us to go?” She moves to stand and Luke holds her against him.
“We need to make new plans to deal with our shit, but I can’t focus on that until I figure out Ava’s situation.” I need to call my parents and find out why. Why they’ve left her with me again? I only have one more year in school and then I’m gone. Ava can’t be left here alone. Not the way I was.
She won’t make good decisions. She’ll act out and get into trouble. And I won’t be here to stop her or bail her out.
“I have to go home and make sure my mom is okay.” Nico sighs and his gaze stops on Harper. “I can’t risk you being at my house. Not with my dad so interested in you.”
She holds out her hand to Nico and he squeezes it.
“My parents are playing nice today, apparently.” Eli glances up from his phone. “They want to have a family dinner and discuss things.”
“Lucy’s been texting. She wants a play date.” Jack sighs. His gaze finds mine. “If you need me to help—”
“Nah, dude.” I shake my head. Ava’s not telling me everything. “I need to handle this one with kid gloves. She’s acting cagey and I have to figure out what’s really happening.”
Harper looks at Luke. “I was going to hang out with Mom today. You should come with.”
He shakes his head. “I can go home.”
“No.” I stand because I’m not letting him get in his own way. “We don’t know who’s after Harper. She’s still safer with one of us. You should go, Luke.”
“Fine,” Luke relents.
Harper gives me a grateful look. It’s not just an excuse, though. We don’t know when the next attack will happen or how. All I know is I now have to watch out for my younger sister too. Tanner has made it clear that he wants revenge for what we’ve taken from him.
Ava is still the perfect target. Even after what he put her through, she might still have feelings for him and that’s what I have to suss out today.
Harper
Luke follows me into my house. I automatically go to the refrigerator to look at Mom’s new schedule for the week. I pause because she texted me earlier to say she was on nights still.
“She’s back on days.” I don’t know how to feel about it. I’m glad she’ll be home, but that means no more slumber parties. “She said you could stay here though. You don’t have to go back to your father.”
“I don’t want to overstep. I’ve lived with my father for years, princess. I’ll be fine.” He presses a kiss on my cheek. “Your mom said since I was home alone I could stay. Dad’s home.”
A throat clears and we both turn. My mom stands on the other side of the island dressed for the day. She takes in how close we’re standing, but Luke doesn’t step away. When I glance at his eyes, there’s a challenge there.
“Morning, Mom.” I take Luke’s hand and thread our fingers together.
“Morning, Jennifer.” Luke squeezes my hand.
“Only one today?” She arches an eyebrow.
“Everyone else has family obligations.” I shrug.
Mom’s eyes soften, knowing that Luke’s “family” sucks balls. “Have you had breakfast? I make a mean waffle. It’s been forever since we’ve done breakfast with zombies.”
I grin. “It has been. Do we have strawberries?”
“Of course. I picked some up on the way home.” She smiles and goes to the sink to wash her hands. She glances at Luke. “Do you know how to cut strawberries, Luke?”
“I can figure it out.”
I’m sure at this point Luke would rather be with his abusive father, but I squeeze his hand and release it. Opening the refrigerator, I pull out the strawberries.
“Mom and I have been rewatching The Walking Dead series, including the spinoffs.” I hand him the container of strawberries and dig around for the whipping cream. “It’s a Sunday morning tradition. We do waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. And keep track of the body count.”
“Living or dead?” He sets the strawberries on the island and Mom places a cutting board, bowl, and knife out for him.
“Good question.” Mom smirks. “Both.”
“And if no zombies die, then we watch another zombie show that will definitely have dead bodies dying.” I set the whipping cream on the counter and give Luke an encouraging smile as I pull out a bowl and whisk. “It sounds stupid, but I swear it’s fun.”
Mom and I talk about my week at school while she makes a batch of waffles, I whip the cream, and Luke cuts strawberries. He looks so awkward and uncomfortable.
“Have you ever watched The Walking Dead?” Mom asks as we plate our waffles and pile them with strawberries and whipped cream.
“A little,” Luke admits. “I read the graphic novel when I was a kid.”
I cut Luke off as he heads to the table with his plate. “This is the one time of the week Mom lets me eat in front of the TV.”
He nods and changes direction to the living room. I sit on the couch and put my plate on the coffee table and gesture for him to sit beside me.
We settle in and Mom starts the show. It takes a while, but he relaxes as Mom and I make random commentary throughout the episode.
After I finish my waffle, I draw my legs up onto the couch and turn on my side to ease off my butt, which still stings. I rest my head against his shoulder and he takes my hand onto his thigh.
Mom stops at the end of the show and exits to the menu. “Total death count?”
“Two humans, twelve zombies.”
“Thirteen,” Luke corrects me, stroking his thumb over the back of my hand.
Mom smirks. “Very nice.”
She yawns and looks at the clock. “I need to get back on a normal schedule, but I also need a nap. Feel free to watch a zombie movie without me.”
She stands and throws a blanket my way. “Or any kind of movie or show.”
I tuck the blanket around me, remembering the schedule on the fridge.
“They changed your schedule again?” I ask with a frown. It can’t be a coincidence that they keep messing with her schedule.
“Yup. Days. They want to keep both of us guessing. It’s been crazy.” Her gaze settles on Luke and her brows furrow.
“Even though I’m home tonight, I meant what I said, Luke.
You’re welcome to stay in the guest room.
” Her dark eyes flick to mine and I wonder how much she knows about what’s going on between me and the guys.
“I’m not saying it to be nice or trying to right a wrong I wish I could have prevented.
I honestly think you deserve to sleep without fear. ”
His hand squeezes mine and he nods at my mom. “Thank you.”
She disappears upstairs and I wait until the door shuts.
“She’s right.” I blow out a breath.
“Would she feel that way if she knew everything I’ve done to you?” His words are soft.
I rise on my knees and straddle his lap so we’re face to face. “Where we started and where we are now are miles apart from each other.”
His eyes narrow on mine. “I beat you with a belt last night, Harper.”
“You didn’t beat me, Luke. You punished me. I could have said my safe word if I wanted you to stop. All the things you’ve done. None of it matters. All the punishments are part of who we are. It’s what makes us who we are.” I cup his jaw and search his eyes.
“What are we?” That self-loathing still curls in his gut, ready to strike at me, to push me away. But I won’t let it.
“I’m yours and you’re mine.” The words choke me up a little. Of everyone, the one who needs to hear I love you the most is probably Luke, but he’s also the one who will doubt it. “I need you, Luke.”
He doesn’t physically pull away, but I almost see him withdraw from me emotionally. “You need me because I’ve been an asshole for years. I hurt someone enough they feel vindicated going after someone I—”
My heart stalls at the word that hovers in the air. Unspoken. The potential. My whole being waits for that word.
“To get back at me.”
The letdown is real, but it’s too soon. He may never get to the point of saying he loves me. He may never really feel that way. But I can’t let that fear hold me back.
“Yes, Luke, you’ve been an asshole. You tormented people who probably deserved it and some who didn’t. That doesn’t justify them coming after me just because you claimed me.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “We’re not who we started out the year as.”
I glance up at the stairwell and where my mom’s room is before focusing on Luke.
“You saved me. Not from whoever is after us.” Smoothing my thumb over his jaw, I try to piece together what I want to say.
“I was no one. I let myself become no one. Fuck, I was practically a zombie, walking through life, but not living. You helped me live. You brought me back to life. Sure you were kind of an asshole with how you did it, but—”
His lips claim mine. There’s a desperation in this kiss, like he’s asking me if this could be more. Fuck. I open for him. My mouth. My heart. My life.
It’s crazy what I feel for him and what I feel for all of them after everything. But it wasn’t a line. I was lost. Desperately lonely. Touch starved. Attention starved.
He rescued me from what would have been another year of being no one. In front of everyone, he drew me into his arms last night and let me stand with him.
I’m not alone anymore. And if he’ll let me, I’ll love him more than anyone else could.
I played with the monster and saw his darkness. I survived it. He may have claimed me, but I claimed him too.