52. Aspen
ASPEN
I wake the following morning, a little part of me wondering if Dov’s visit had been in my dreams. But no, I know it wasn’t, no matter how much I try to convince myself.
It had been real.
A wave of guilt sweeps over me at how much I encouraged him. I’d been warned about him, yet the moment I saw him, all I could think about were all those nights when I hadn’t been certain if I’d been awake or dreaming and how he’d teased me with his touch. I’d wanted to experience it for real.
I swing my legs out of bed and sit on the edge. I stab my fingers into my hair and hang my head, unable to even look up and catch my reflection in the mirror.
What the hell is wrong with me? Who does that? The man had been creeping into my room, and instead of telling him to stay the fuck away from me, I shove his hand into my panties.
Dov is Levi’s brother, and Blake’s son.
Levi, who I’ve fucked, and Blake, who I’ve gone down on and who has gone down on me. Now I’m adding Dov to the mix? This isn’t normal.
Does it make me a slut, wanting these three men? I’ve never believed in slut shaming—a woman should be allowed to embrace her sexuality—but somehow it feels different when I’m referring to myself.
I can’t pretend I didn’t want all of it.
Each time, with each man, I’ve wanted it.
I’d been desperate for Blake, and I still am, despite the way he holds himself back from me and even though I know he lied to me.
And I’d needed to experience Dov’s touch in some way other than my dreams. Even with how it all played out with Levi, with our rough hate fucking, I’d wanted every moment of it.
My entire body had been alive with desire.
All the tension that had been between me and Levi since the moment I’d stepped foot into the hotel had exploded in desperate need.
That was what I’d wanted during the times I’d tried to tell Tobias to be a little rough, the times he’d spanked me once and decided it was job done. I’d wanted that raw, animalistic fucking, where it was like we were both reduced to nothing more than our basest desires.
If I’m going to stay here, at Windridge Hall, for much longer, surely all three men are going to find out I’ve been messing around with each of them?
Levi already knows, because he caught me and Blake together, and I assume Dov must have watched me and Levi, considering he has cameras everywhere, including in my room.
I figured out pretty quickly that the one he has in my room is in the ornate frame of the mirror directly opposite the bed, and I’ve thrown a blanket over the top of my mirror, so at least I can have a little privacy.
No, it’s Blake I’m most worried about. I don’t want him to look at me differently. I don’t want him to judge me.
Most of all, I don’t want him to not want me anymore because I’ve had sexual encounters with his sons.
I don’t think I need to worry about Dov saying anything. The man seems to be one of few words, and he stays away from the rest of us. No, it’s Levi I’m most worried about. I can see him using what happened between us as a way of getting one over on his dad.
I haven’t spent any time with Levi since it happened.
Any ideas I’d entertained about our relationship suddenly changing and him becoming some kind of caring, loving new boyfriend quickly went up in smoke.
Not that I really want that from Levi, anyway.
He’s an excellent fuck, but emotionally, he’s stunted.
Will he have told his dad already?
I go to the window. It’s been snowing again. It’s still not heavy, but there’s a good inch on the ground now. I wonder if Levi will be somewhere in the house, since the weather has turned colder. He’s sometimes found in the kitchen first thing in the morning.
Quickly, I use the bathroom then throw on some clothes and go to find him.
The whole time, I rehearse what I plan to say to him.
If I can convince him that what happened between us should just be our ‘naughty little secret,’ or that it’s something we hold over Blake, he might just buy it.
All I really want is his silence, though.
Sure enough, I find him drinking coffee at the kitchen table.
“Morning,” I chirp. “I haven’t seen you for a couple of days.”
He barely looks up. “I’ve been busy making sure everything is prepared before the big snow starts.”
“I wanted to thank you again for the reader pen. It was really thoughtful.”
This time, he lifts his gaze to mine. There’s that familiar spark in his blue eyes and a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “I think you thanked me plenty after I gave it to you.”
My face warms. “Yes, I—I guess so.” I’m nervous, so I slide into a chair opposite him. “Actually, I want to talk to you about that, too.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “You do? Like a blow by blow? I’ve got to tell you, that kind of talk will only make me hard for you again.”
I pray Blake isn’t anywhere nearby to overhear.
I rush on, needing to say my piece before this gets out of control. I can already picture Levi tossing a chair out of the way and fucking me on the kitchen table.
“I-I don’t think Blake should know about what happened.”
He sits back. “Are you fucking serious, Little Fox?”
“Yes, I don’t want him to know.”
Levi scoffs. “He’s going to know, and he’s not going to care.”
His words stab me. “Why would he not care?”
“Because that’s what you’re here for.”
My stomach flips. He can’t be saying what I think he is. “What? No, I’m not.”
“You are, Little Fox. You’re our fuck toy. You’re here to keep us warm at night and to stop us from going crazy when the snow falls and we’re all trapped here together.”
I shake my head. “No, Blake brought me here to help me. He knew I needed somewhere to stay.”
Levi gives me that half smile where one corner of his mouth turns up and reveals a dimple. “Both things can be true at the same time.”
Is that why Blake brought me here? To be some kind of entertainment for his sons?
I think of the snowfall and how it makes this place almost inaccessible over the winter months.
Had he really thought his sons needed something—someone—to keep them busy over the winter?
He wouldn’t do that, would he? He can’t be that messed up. I’m his best friend’s daughter…
No, I’m his ex-best friend’s daughter. They fell out. Over Dov.
I desperately try to cling to what I want to believe. “Blake cares about me. He wouldn’t bring me back here for his sons to… use.”
“Oh, he plans to use you, too. He’s just been playing it cool so he didn’t scare you away. He wanted us to do the same, but you’ve proven to be a tempting little morsel.” He smirks.
“I don’t believe you.” My voice is a breathy whisper.
“I’m not lying. You can go ask him yourself. Of course, he didn’t want you to know, but since you seem to be happy to fuck us all anyway…”
The truth of Levi’s words sink in, and tears fill my eyes.
All that time, I’d thought there was no way Blake could think of me as anything more than his ex-best friend’s little girl, when actually, the moment he laid eyes on me, he’d seen me as a vulnerable young woman who could be exploited as a plaything for him and his sons.
He’d never seen me as a real person—none of them had.
I need to hear the truth from Blake’s lips.