Chapter 60 The Impossible Choice, Rafe
THE IMPOSSIBLE CHOICE, RAFE
My ship docks, and I'm already running into the Spire before the seal to the door even finishes cycling.
Three weeks. Three weeks of legal maneuvering, calling in every favor, and exhausting every connection to save our business and try to do the right things.
Three weeks of not being able to monitor what Eve and Lorian were up to in the shrine because Lorian blocked everyone, including me.
But Dr. Veil sent me the medical reports of the aftermath while I was away: neural scarring, physical trauma, and psychological damage. What Lorian calls ‘transcendence,’ and what Dr. Veil called near-death experiences. Multiple times.
Fucking Lorian.
I hate that I have to check that they even left the shrine when I docked, but at least they were good enough to give me that courtesy.
I enter our suite, and the sight of Lorian stops me cold. He's thinner, his grey skin dull, and there are fresh whip marks visible through his open shirt.
"Where is she?" My voice comes out raw.
"Having a shower." He goes back to the scattered documents on the computer. "Seventeen trainers filed grievances this week, the IGC tried to add another year to her sentence, and our stock has now dropped forty percent."
"I know." I move to the bar, my hands shaking as I pour. "I've been dealing with it for three weeks while you've been—"
"Saving her? Saving myself? Or destroying us both?” he begins confessing to me. He always does. “Rafe, I had to. When she begs for the neural stimulator, when she cries if we go eight hours without the shrine, when she—"
"Stop. Just fucking stop, Lorian. Clearly, this isn’t working. We need to talk about solutions, not—"
"If you hadn’t noticed, dear Brother, there aren't any solutions, but pain for release." He meets my eyes and I’m looking at my mirror image. “We all three must suffer through this."
“We won’t survive it if you act like this. Those new grievances came from your keeping her out of sight these last three weeks. But I know you can’t help yourself!” My composure is gone. “I won't lose you or Eve. But I also can’t monitor you both every second of every day.”
"What are you suggesting? Lock her in a cage and wait? Just hoping we will all come out with our sanity on the other side? Oh wait, we’re already trying that. She has our collar around her neck with our names on it, and it’s not fucking working, is it?"
An alert appears on my IC, and I slam down my drink and pick it up to read it.
I stare at the words until the room spins. “They’re coming for her,” I say quietly. “Tribune Jin Kol convinced the IGC on behalf of the trainers to reopen the case. You gave them three weeks of evidence of Eve not serving her sentence.”
“So the galaxy wants her dead now again, not just owned.”
“No Lorian, they want to crush what she might come to represent,” I say.
“Jin Kol is coming here with an enforcement detachment. If she’s here, she’ll be taken without a trial or any chance for an appeal.
The IGC’s jurisdiction reaches every Ascendant property.
Every station. Every orbit.” I hesitate. “Except one.”
“Father.”
“The IGC won’t touch him; he’s too well connected in the Empire.”
Lorian gives a low, bitter laugh. “No. We can protect her here.”
“How? This isn’t a warship. It’s a hotel. A business. We need to think strategically. Not everything can be won by killing people, Lorian.”
“If we send her to Father, we’ll be sending her to hell and might not ever be able to bring her back.”
Neither of us speak for a minute. We just look at each other.
Then, after a minute, Lorian nods once.
“I’ll arrange the transport,” I say. “And when she asks why, we’ll tell her the truth—that we’re the danger that loves her, and our father is the monster who can keep her alive.”
Just then, the bathroom door opens. Eve enters wrapped in a towel, her lovely brown hair dripping onto her shoulders in a way that makes her look so adorable.
I want to go to her, but she freezes when she sees me.
For a moment, nobody moves. Then, suddenly, she's running, launching herself into my arms with a cry that breaks my heart into a thousand pieces.
“My beautiful rebel,” I say against her wet hair. “I missed you.”
"You're back," she whispers against my neck, and I have to hold back tears.
How can I send her away?
But at the same time, she can’t stay here. They’re coming for her, and even if they weren’t, how long would it be before she and Lorian killed each other in the shrine while I drank myself to death?
"I'm here." I hold her in silence for half a minute, my hands running up and down her back, feeling how thin she's gotten. "I'm here, Eve. Get dressed. We’ll have dinner; you and Lorian need to eat."
She pulls back, studying my face. "Something's wrong."
"Everything's wrong. But get dressed first before we discuss it. Please."
Dinner is agony incarnate. Eve sits between us at our private table, wearing a simple dress that can't hide the marks on her skin from the neural contact points, whip welts, and bruises from restraints she and Lorian indulged in in the shrine.
And she knows something terrible is coming.
She keeps reaching for us, touching our hands, our arms, as if she can hold on to us through sheer contact.
“You’re not eating,” I say, and hold a full spoon of food up to her mouth. “Open.” She obeys me. And I continue spoon-feeding her with my eyes on Lorian. “You’re not eating either. Would you like me to feed you too? I do have two hands.”
Lorian takes a spoonful of food and puts it into his mouth begrudgingly.
After I’m satisfied they’ve eaten, I take a sip of wine and say, "We can’t continue like this."
"I’m not returning to Earth. I don’t want to forget either of you. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’d rather be here than on Earth with the feeling that something is missing. I’d drive myself insane trying to figure it out. My heart can never forget either of you."
“I already told you Earth isn’t an option. I mean a different way to serve your sentence until we can get it repealed.”
"You're going to send me away, aren’t you?" Tears are already streaming down her cheeks. "Because of the trainers, the IGC, and Terra Ka."
"Those would be manageable,” I lie. I don’t want to scare her, but at the same time, I want to hold Lorian accountable.
“You and Lorian almost killed each other multiple times over. Dr. Veil says that if I had been away another week, your and Lorian’s ‘religious time’ in the shrine would have left you both with permanent damage.
And I can’t forbid Lorian. He’s Sovereign just the same as I am.
But I can move you. And Lorian knows what needs to be done, which is why he’s saying nothing. ”
"I don't care! I don’t want to be away from either of you!"
"Eve, I refuse to be the reason for your insanity or… death,” I say and look at Lorian.
"Please—please don't send me away. Anything but—"
"You must go, Eve, for your own safety, until we can get your sentence appealed and end this pet by day, lover by night madness.”
“Where?!” She’s frantic now. “Where can you send me that still meets the IGC’s requirements? I have to be with you. You’re my owners. You can’t send me away.”
I take a deep breath and say with regret, “You’re going to our childhood home on Alba.”
The silence that follows is deafening.
"No!" She falls to her knees begging. "No. You can't. After everything, after I chose you over the mining camp, you can't—"
“Father will kill her spirit, Rafe,” Lorian says, and I shoot him a nasty look that says, You’re-supposed-to-be-on-my-side.
“We will kill her, Lorian… ourselves,” I say, a tear falling from my eye, despite my resolve that this is the only logical option to keep all of us alive.
“I promise we will get her back before Father breaks her.” Then, pulling Eve into my lap, I say, “It will only be for a short time.
I swear. Lira will escort you there and check in on you frequently.
And we will visit you for our required IGC conjugal and punishment visits. "
"I’d rather die than leave you! Lorian will promise to be good. Won’t you, Lorian?” she looks over at him.
“He can’t do that anymore than you can promise not to be curious, Eve.”
"Rafe’s right. You must go.”
"No! On Alba I will be a pet every minute of every hour of every day—" She breaks completely. "Please. I'll do anything. I'll be perfect. I'll kneel quietly. I'll stop thinking, stop helping, stop being anything, but your human pet. I’ll do whatever you want. Just please—don’t send me away!”
Then she jumps up, and I watch as she tries to access outside communications. No doubt trying to contact Terra Ka or Ambassador Tiro.”
"They won’t help you," I tell her quietly.
"They could extract me. Before—"
"Eve." I pull her away from the terminal. "Terra Ka has marked you as compromised. You're not an asset anymore. You're a liability, and Ambassador Tiro, while sympathetic, must follow galactic law.”
"No, you’re lying to make me go quietly, and I won’t—Gael will—"
"Gael thinks you chose us over the cause. We confessed our love to you publicly, and you chose to be with us.” Something passes through her eyes that lest me know that’s not true. She’s still somehow in contact with Terra Ka.
Goddesses, another reason to send her away.
"Then let me run. Please. If you ever loved me—"
"Because I love you, I would never let you run. You’d be abducted and end up in a worse situation. I would never allow you to fall into the hands of Aefre or any of the other trainers.”
She bolts anyway, and the door alarms sound the moment she touches them.
"Let me go!” she cries, “Just let me—"
"Eve." Lorian's voice breaks. "Think of this as a battle that must be fought to get what we all want. None of us wants this. But Rafe is right. And if you can master us, you can master our father. He’s an old man who thinks humans are dumb. Use that to your advantage.”
“Goddesses, Eve,” I say, “we are all dying here. None of us will come out of this sane if we don’t take a break to consider all our options.
Please. Go. Fight for what we all want through submission.
Just for a little while to figure this out.
” I’m so overwhelmed with emotion, I can hardly think.
The room is spinning like I’ve lost a considerable amount of blood, and my heart actually hurts from this.
"We love you," Lorian says desperately.
"No, you love the idea of me!" She's screaming now. "The brilliant human pet who chose you over the Kel Minor mines. But the reality? You can’t handle me, so you have to send me to your father to truly break me because you don’t have the hearts to do it yourselves! You are pathetic, and I hate you both!"
"That's not—"
"It is!" She throws herself at the door again. "Let me go! If you don’t want me. At least let me escape.”
"No," I say. "Send them in."
"NO!" She looks between us, betrayal absolute. "Please. Rafe. Lorian. Master. Sir. Sovereign. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. Don't let them take—"
The doors open, and four Umbral guards enter, and behind them, Lira. She has guilt written all over her face.
"Not you too!” Eve's voice breaks completely when she sees her. "Lira, please."
"I'm sorry." Lira says. "I must do what the Sovereigns ask of me. What happened between you and Lorian… I tried to access the shrine. I was so worried that I could only think the worst. What if Rafe had been gone longer?”
"Enough," I say, before her words completely tear me apart. "Take her," I order the guards, my voice breaking.
Eve goes feral, and it takes all four guards to subdue her, and even then she doesn't stop fighting. "Lorian!" she screams as they carry her away. "You promised! In the shrine, you promised me you’d always keep me safe!"
"I know, my little heretic. This is going to keep you safe, but it may be painful.”
"Rafe!" Her brown eyes find mine, desperate. "Please! Don't send me away to be a real pet!"
I force myself to watch as they drag her away. To witness what we're doing and to let this image burn into my memory, so that I can revisit my guilt again and again.
She continues to fight and manages to take off my ring and throw it at me. “I’ll become empty and perfect and dead inside! And when you finally come for me, I won't even remember why I loved you!" Eve says as she fades into the corridors.
I can’t move. My heart is officially broken now.
The doors close, and Lorian and I embrace one another, crying, and then I lean back and punch him as hard as I can.
I hate that he did this.
“I saved us,” he says, not fighting back. “I pushed us to our limit to save us from where we would be in five years. You should be thanking me.”
He’s not wrong, but as usual, I don’t like his methods. “I’m worried Father will break her, but it’s the only option,” I say just as much to myself as him.
“Eve’s smarter and stronger than any human he has ever come in contact with. If anything, she will break Father.”