CHAPTER 20 #2
I found him in the gym a little while later, finishing up his workout.
We’d been spending that first hour of the morning together in complete silence except for the few times I gave him tips for additional exercises that might interest him.
He’d taken my suggestions with grace, smiling and thanking me after he worked to get the form down.
We had found a way to coexist in peace during those times.
I wasn’t the masochist, and he wasn’t the Sadist. We were men who enjoyed one another’s company.
He had seemed almost human to me, a man beneath the monster.
Honestly, I’d enjoyed those moments as much as all the others.
I liked seeing that side of Zeke. While I got off on his torture techniques and I actually enjoyed the fact that he wanted to keep us caged like animals from time to time, I did like seeing what was hidden beneath that hard outer layer.
In fact, I had been looking forward to getting to know him better.
Most people would see the sex and the scenes as a perversion, but for us, it was a way of life.
We opened up during those moments. No shields, no barriers. And it was bringing us closer together.
Or so I’d thought.
Zeke suddenly opened his truck door and stepped out. He looked a little forlorn, as though he’d had a shit day. I glanced over to see that Brax was already in position, naked and kneeling by the door, his head down.
I had no idea what to do. Was I supposed to give them a moment? Should I go upstairs? Downstairs? Sit on the couch? I had no idea what Brax needed from me right now, so I stood there like a dumb ass, unable to move, oddly fascinated to see how this would play out.
One more look out the window and I noticed Zeke waiting for Tank to do his business. When that was out of the way, they both headed for the house and I pivoted back to Brax.
The knob turned, the door opened. Tank trotted in, giving Brax a quick sniff before making a beeline for me. I squatted down to pet him as Zeke stepped into the house.
“What the fuck?” Zeke grumbled.
His words were clipped, an edge of anger I wasn’t familiar with.
The Sadist was generally good-natured, which I figured was an oxymoron.
He could dole out pain in a way that scared the shit out of me, but I sensed there was no anger fueling him.
I’d been with a few Doms who had used that anger to drive their need to punish.
But it was different with Zeke. He was creative with his scenes.
He wasn’t simply beating on us because he could.
He got off on it, and he enjoyed it as much as we did.
The man didn’t hurt us because he was battling some internal rage.
I figured that was what made him the best of the best. You could trust Zeke with your safety.
Give yourself over to him without worrying about the consequences.
He took special care to heighten the senses, ratcheting up the fear and the need.
Yet I never felt as though he would go too far.
Believe it or not, that was a skill some Doms didn’t acquire.
To be a Sadist, they had to be in the right headspace because it wasn’t about abuse.
It was about the power exchange, the give and take from a Sadist to a masochist.
“Why’re you kneeling?” Zeke questioned as the front door closed behind him.
Those black eyes shot over to me, but I shrugged and looked away. This was between Brax and Zeke. While the three of us were involved, I knew Brax was taking responsibility for his actions yesterday. Whatever Zeke opted to do was up to him. I couldn’t be part of it, even if I wanted to.
“I owe you an apology, Zeke.”
I watched in awe, my stomach churning with fear.
Fear for Brax. Fear for Zeke. I wasn’t sure either one of them knew what they were doing.
I sensed Zeke was battling something internally, while it was obvious Brax wanted a do-over.
The question was, could we? Could we start over with Zeke?
He already knew Brax wanted something he had never agreed to offer.
Not that I knew what that was. For the first time in the two years Brax and I had been together, I couldn’t read him.
I wasn’t sure what his angle was. Did he simply want to submit to Zeke?
Was he doing this for himself? Or was he being a martyr here?
Giving Zeke and me what we needed? I wouldn’t put it past him.
Brax was one of the most selfless men I’d ever met.
He was so fucking good to me, sometimes I wondered how I’d gotten so lucky.
“What’re you apologizing for?” Zeke asked, his tone neutral.
“For my actions these past few days, Zeke. You deserve more from me.”
Zeke seemed to wave him off, as though what he was offering didn’t matter.
“It’s done and over, cowboy. I don’t care anymore.”
That had my back straightening. How could he be so aloof? Was I right? Was Zeke writing us off already?
“But I care,” Brax said, his head still down.
“And that’s the problem,” Zeke snapped, his eyes blazing with restrained fury. “You’re not supposed to fucking care. This isn’t about feelings, fuck toy.”
While his words said otherwise, I got the sneaking suspicion that Brax wasn’t the only one concerned about the direction this was headed. Try as we might, no one could predict how this would turn out. Sure, the three of us had walked into this with our eyes wide open.
So why did it feel as though everything was changing?