CHAPTER 34
Zeke
When I left the office to come home, I’d had good intentions. I had mapped it out in my head, how I wanted to sit down and talk to them. My sister was right, that was the one thing we hadn’t done in the month we’d been together. I knew very little about them and vice versa.
However, the second I opened the front door, I had no idea what came over me. The moment I saw Brax, something clicked inside me. An emotion, a feeling, an urge, maybe? I was overwhelmed by a strange need to take care of him in any way that I could.
And yes, at some point this afternoon, I’d started thinking of them both by name. They were no longer just my fuck toys. They were so much more.
While it would’ve been easy to force my dominance on Brax, I didn’t.
I was testing him, attempting to see just how human he would allow me to be.
As I swallowed his dick, groaning as his salty taste coated my tongue, I felt a surge of power.
More so than I did when I was hurting him.
Oddly enough, it didn’t make me feel weak as I’d expected. It made me feel invincible.
“Fuck …” Brax thrust his hips forward, driving his cock deeper into my throat. “You’re gonna make me come, Zeke. I need permission to come. Fuck … it feels too good.”
I pulled my lips off his cock and stared up at him.
Brax’s eyes jerked down to my face, and I saw the real concern.
He was trying to please me, and he wasn’t sure he had.
What he didn’t realize was that everything he did pleased me, even when it didn’t.
The two of them had become part of me in the short time I’d known them.
The thought of coming home to an empty house, not having them with me, didn’t sit well.
“Come in my mouth, Brax,” I insisted, my eyes locked with his. The taste of his name was odd, but not in a bad way.
He cried out when I wrapped my lips around him again. Both hands curled around my head, holding me in place as I took him to the root. I growled and groaned, wanting him to feel the vibrations through his entire body.
“Zeke! Oh, fuck … oh, fuck… It’s too much. Ah, shit!”
Brax’s hips bucked as he forced his cock deeper into my mouth. Seconds later, he roared his release, his cock pulsing against my tongue. I drank him down, relishing his taste, his warmth. Pleasure coursed through my veins.
His body relaxed against the wall, his chest heaving.
I pushed to my feet but didn’t move away.
Instead, I pressed my lips to his, wanting him to taste himself on my tongue.
This wasn’t my usual style. I was a planner, even when it came to sexual experiences.
I had an end goal and a means to get there.
With Brax, I was following my instinct, doing what felt right. In this moment, I wanted to please him.
I’d never done this before. Never given in to my baser urges like this. Not even with Matt.
Then again, what I felt for Matt paled in comparison to what I felt for the cowboy and the pretty boy. Brax and Case. It would take some time for me to get used to calling them that, but I would. If they would have me.
The question was, would they be able to handle me? Not only the Sadist but also the man?
I managed to pull away, staring into Brax’s eyes, looking for … something. I wasn’t sure what, but that insecurity waging war on my mind was undeniable. I needed some sort of confirmation that I wasn’t setting myself up for failure.
That was my biggest fear, what had held me back all these years.
Until Brax and Case appeared in my world, tipping everything off its perfectly balanced axis.
Somehow, they had changed me. They had given me the safety and security I needed to open myself up to them.
Maybe not verbally, but in all the ways that counted.
The sound of the front door opening had both our heads turning. Case stepped inside, his attention on the floor as he closed the door behind him. When he finally turned around and looked up, his eyes locked on the two of us. We were still standing against the wall, Brax’s jeans around his ankles.
“What’s … uh…?” Case looked confused, but that was quickly masked by something deeper, something darker. Something that looked a hell of a lot like pain.
Unable to resist, I stood tall and stalked toward him.
Case’s eyes locked on my face as I neared.
He appeared to be searching for something, but I had no idea what.
I wanted to ask him questions, to find out about his past, but I needed something else from him.
A confirmation. I didn’t necessarily care about what experiences had formed him, more so about how he felt now. Today.
Without warning, I stepped right into his personal space, close enough that only a breath passed between us when I cupped his head.
I wasn’t rough, but I wasn’t gentle, either.
This man didn’t want gentle. He wanted the dark side of me; he wanted the Sadist. However, I was pushing that part back. For now.
Angling my head, I watched him as I moved in to kiss him.
He didn’t budge. Didn’t try to move away.
Case remained perfectly still even when I pressed my lips to his.
At first, I thought he would reject me, push me away, and make the decision for all three of us.
That lasted all of two seconds, and then his hands were on me and he was crushed up against my chest as I kissed him rough and hard, my desperation to have him near me winning out.
I forced myself to speak between kisses. “Can you taste Brax on my tongue?” I could still taste him, and I knew Case could, too. It was an erotic intimacy I didn’t expect, but it soothed something in my soul. “Do you want to know what we did before you walked in?”
“Yes,” he whispered, holding my head and forcing my lips back to his.
“I sucked him,” I told him, holding his head still and whispering over his lips. “I sucked him until he came in my mouth. That’s why you can taste him.”
Case groaned, his hands jerking me closer as though that was the hottest thing he’d ever heard. For whatever reason, it was far more intense than I’d anticipated.
When I finally released him, I was breathing hard. We both were. I held his stare and weighed my options for what came next. Talking seemed overrated right now, so I went with my instincts.
“I want you and Brax upstairs in my bed. Naked.” I didn’t look away. “No questions, Case. Just do what I say.”
He nodded, then peered around me. I knew Brax was still there, watching us, probably trying to determine what my next steps would be.
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have a plan. I wasn’t mapping out a scene in my head, nor was I trying to decide which reaction I hoped to coax out of them. There was only one thing I wanted.
The two of them.
Laid bare.
The same way I was.
Case (the pretty boy)
I hadn’t expected to find Zeke and Brax when I came home. I certainly hadn’t anticipated finding Brax with his pants around his ankles while the two of them made out like teenagers.
Then Zeke was kissing me, calling me by my name. When he had pulled back to look at me, I’d noticed the light had returned in his eyes. I hadn’t been kissing the Sadist, I’d been kissing the man.
So, what had happened? Why had Zeke come home from work? And what prompted him to react like this?
I was still processing what he’d said. How he’d sucked Brax, made him come in his mouth. When Zeke said it, it seemed more like a revelation than a simple fact. And he’d been sharing Brax with me afterward.
Was I in some sort of alternate universe?
Or maybe I was asleep. This could’ve been a dream or even a fantasy.
God knew I’d been thinking about the two of them all damn day.
Ever since I slipped out of the house seeking solitude so I could think.
However, none of my thoughts had prepared me to find them like that.
While I was still in a daze from Zeke’s kiss, I managed to stumble up the stairs with Brax following close behind.
Once I was in Zeke’s room, I paused, staring around, wondering what would come next.
Brax appeared in front of me, and then he was kissing me.
His chest slammed against mine, knocking me backward a few steps.
Raw, unbridled passion poured off him in waves.
Warmth infused me and not only lust. Emotions churned in my chest as I fought to catch up with what was happening.
“I love you, Case,” Brax whispered. “I need you to know that. I need you to know that’ll never change. No matter how much … I love Zeke, too.”
That twinge in my chest reappeared, but it wasn’t painful like this morning. It felt more like hope.
There were only two points in my life when I’d felt like this.
The first had been after John’s death, when his dad had invited me over to his new apartment for dinner.
I’d been so fucked up back then, completely shattered by losing John.
I had needed something, someone who could keep his memory alive.
That night had changed my entire universe, but not in a good way.
The second time was when I met Brax. From the first moment I met him, there had been something that drew me in, kept me tethered. I fell in love with him almost instantly.
Zeke had never given me that hopeful feeling because he’d always been up front with me.
Not that I hadn’t done quite a bit of wishful thinking these past few weeks.
And this morning, when Brax said it aloud, I realized that everything really had changed.
Although it hurt to know Brax’s love was now divided between us, it was something I could accept. Provided we could have Zeke.
Was it possible to have everything I’d ever wanted?
Because I could admit I needed what Zeke offered on a sadistic level, but I needed more than that.
I didn’t want Zeke to fill one aspect of my life and Brax the other.
My feelings for them weren’t separate, distinguishable.
They had morphed into one. I wanted all of them, not just parts.
“I don’t know how this works,” I admitted.
I’d never been in a relationship like this one.
Never fallen for two men before. Yet that was exactly where I found myself.
I was a different person when I was with them.
I didn’t hold myself responsible for the sins of my past, because everything that had ever happened had led me to this moment. To these men.
Footsteps sounded from behind me, and I released Brax so I could turn and face Zeke. His eyes were roaming over us, probably taking in the scene. Uncertainty filled his gaze, and for a moment, I thought he would flee.
But he didn’t.
Zeke remained motionless, as though he wasn’t sure how to approach us or even what he wanted.
I decided to tell him. “If you’re coming into this room, we want Zeke. The man, not the Sadist.”
“How do you know they’re not one and the same?” he countered, but I could see the relief in his gaze.
“Because that sadistic side is only part of who you are. And we’ve spent plenty of time with him. But not with you.”
I had no desire to dominate him in any way, but I did want to be his equal for a little while.
Brax and I moved at the same time, inching closer to Zeke. He was still motionless, staring as though he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what was happening.
Without thought, I reached him first and slid my hand behind his head, pulling him down so that our lips brushed, lightly at first, but I didn’t linger, leaning in for a kiss and holding him to me.
Within seconds, his arms were around me, jerking me tightly against him, the heat from his body melding with mine. He walked me back toward the bed, and I reached for Brax, wanting him there, needing him with us.
I broke the kiss, and Brax picked up where I left off, his lips sealing to Zeke’s while I worked the buttons free from Zeke’s shirt. He shifted and moved, allowing me access to every part of him. His muscles were tense, but so were mine.
Minutes passed as the three of us alternated, finally managing to shed all the clothing that was keeping us apart. Vertical became horizontal as we spread out on Zeke’s big bed, limbs twining, mouths melding. Skin to skin had never felt this good.
I wasn’t looking for permission to touch or taste, I simply did what felt right.
Brax and I managed to get Zeke onto his back before we kissed and licked every inch of his body.
He started out rigid, but quickly relaxed.
I wasn’t sure if it was the sensations overwhelming him or if he actually trusted us, but I didn’t question it.
This was where we were meant to be. The three of us.
And I had every intention of taking full advantage of this situation. Because no one knew how long it would last.