Chapter Seventeen
Despite Ciaran’s words, she felt awkward next morning.
Reassurances or not, she couldn’t look anyone in the eye, and Declan even less.
Tanya was blessedly unaware of her inner turmoil and went to the gym with her usual self-confidence.
Ciaran seemed amused but Declan wasn’t one to be left in the dark.
Freya had slept during the entire night on the sofa, and when dawn crept in, she woke with a startle, her head pounding.
Her neck was stiff from the position she’d fallen asleep in, and since it was impossible to go back to sleep, she dragged herself off the sofa, pacing the room like Quasimodo, until she managed to straighten up and crawl into the bathroom, longing for a hot shower.
She’d touched herself, hesitant at first. Ciaran hadn’t seen her scars, but could she show them to him? To both of them?
It would take a lot more courage than what she had to mention this now, though.
How could she face herself and her past, if she couldn’t even look them in the eye?
No, it was best for all involved if she kept to herself.
So, that morning, she’d been unable to look anyone in the eye, and as soon as they’d arrived at the gym, she went to the small storage room, sweeping the floor as if her life depended on it.
That’s where Declan found her, an hour later. She was folding the towels, fresh from the dryer.
“Are you hiding, little one?” he asked in a silky voice.
Feeling herself blush furiously, she bit her tongue before saying in
in a choked voice, “Hiding? No, I’m just...”
“Don’t lie to me, little one,” he warned, but there was no threat, no real heat in his voice. She felt him approach and tensed. Would he be mad? Did he know what she and Ciaran had done?
Even with her back turned, she could feel him approach her and stand beside her. He wasn’t crowding her, per se, but he was invading her personal space. What did that say about her? She wasn’t even feeling overwhelmed. Had it been anyone else, she’d be hyperventilating right about now...
“Did you enjoy it?” he whispered, covering her hands with his. She froze, eyes widened. He turned her toward him, plunging into the liquid depths that were her wide eyes.
“Did you enjoy what my brother did to you?”
His burning eyes fixed on her, roaming over her body in a way that left her ablaze. There was no other way to put it, she felt she could combust just by the heat she was seeing in his eyes.
“May I?” he asked, and she thought the question to be rhetorical until she noticed his hand hovering over her, not in a threatening way, but waiting. Asking for permission. She managed to nod and he sighed, clearly frustrated.
“Words, little one. I’m not inside your head to know what goes on inside.”
“Yes,” she managed to answer, after noticing how Ciaran had said something similar to her.
His hand landed on her chest, covered by her uniform.
His touch was different from Ciaran’s, maybe a tad rougher, but not hurtful.
Never hurtful. She knew that he would stop the moment she asked him to, even if it killed him.
And that was, she realized, the difference.
Why she didn’t feel afraid the night before and wasn’t scared now.
They would stop if asked to. Despite all their bulk, the knowledge they could break her in half if they wanted, they’d never do anything to hurt her. They were taking care of her, first.
She gasped when she felt Declan’s hand touching her nipple. Being considerably taller, all he had to do was bend his head to grab it through her clothes. He bit before massaging it with his hands, and she surrendered to the feelings.
He played and toyed with her, until he felt her trying to close her legs, clearly wanting more friction.
“You like this, don’t you, little one? Take all you want,” he cooed, somehow managing to change places with her.
Now he was laying down, and she was on top of him, looking bewildered.
Smiling, he cooed again, “Take all you want.” The bulge inside his pants was noticeable, but he only had eyes for her.
Gently conducting her, he grabbed her torso, pulling her down to him so he could lift her shirt and bra, then biting the pink nipple that peeked out, thirsting for attention.
He licked and sucked, giving both nipples all of his attention, feeling her hips starting to move of their own accord.
She was dry humping him, but he didn’t think she was even conscious she was doing it.
With one hand firmly planted on her back, he urged, “Take everything you need, little one. Fuck me.”
Her eyes were closed, her hips were moving, and he resumed the sucking and licking until he heard her gasp and she lay rigid on top of him, her mouth open in a silent scream. He immediately pulled her close and plunged his mouth into hers, mimicking with his tongue the act he had just witnessed.
Only the need to breathe separated them from each other. They were both panting, as if they’d just run a marathon, and she was wide eyed again, both startled and in awe by what had just happened.
“I... I...”
She licked her lips and closed her eyes, before having the courage to ask, “And what about you?”
“Our first time will not be in the storage room, little one. It will be in a proper bed, and I’ll kiss and worship every part of you before...”
“Fucking me?” she asked, and there was something in her tone of voice that made him frown.
“I was going to say make love to you, but I also enjoy a good fuck,” he said, studying her face.
And if he hadn’t been paying attention, he would’ve missed the tremor in her hands.
Suddenly it dawned on him that in her mind fucking equaled pain and blood.
Burying the urge to kick himself, he took her hands, putting them both in a sitting position, and whispered, “Between souls that love one another, fucking is not hurtful. If it’s not good for all involved, then it’s not properly done.
We can make sweet love through the night, or we can ride on the throes of passion.
Either way, it will because we want it, not because one of us needs to empty his balls. ”
He kissed her lightly on the lips and helped her stand, making a frown when his erection reminded him he had yet to take care of himself.
“But ... what about you?”
“I can take care of myself. I already told you, little one. Our first time won’t be in a storage room.”
She wanted to ask where it was going to be but managed to clamp her lips shut before the question arose. With a deeply satisfied grin, he answered her unspoken question with another question of his own, “What are you going to do later in the evening?”