Chapter 8
Caeo
Islowly exhale, smoke clouding my view of the afternoon sky.
A series of thumps and rustles announces someone climbing over the edge of the roof, and sure enough, Reid grunts as he settles next to me on the slate shingles that have been digging uncomfortably into my back.
Of course he found me here. The blacksmith’s roof was a popular escape during our childhood, with a near-constant stream of hot air flowing from its chimney.
It was a lifesaver for us poor kids from the outskirts during Haven’s frigid winters.
All we had to do was sneak in through the neighboring lumberyard, stack some wood against the back wall, and climb up.
One time, the carpenter dismantled our climbing structure, stranding us for twelve bells—an entire day—until another kid built a new way up.
I offer Reid my pipe of speckled long leaf.
He eyes the bowl as he takes it. “What color?”
“Red.”
“Life’s that bad?”
That’s a matter of perspective: yellow isn’t strong enough to do anything for me anymore, and the giddiness of orange is a waste when you’re alone. Which I was, until he showed up. Explaining all that isn’t worth the effort, though, so I close my eyes rather than answer.
“I haven’t seen you around these last few weeks.” Reid nudges my arm, and I open my eyes, taking the pipe back as he exhales smoke. “Thought I’d at least see you at mealtimes.”
“I’m not living in the dorms, so food costs extra. I can’t afford it.”
Thick, puffy clouds roll in from the west. The arrival of spring means the rains will begin soon. While that’s good for the farms surrounding Haven, it’ll make this rooftop far too slippery to keep using as an escape.
“I’m sure Ellie’d cover it if you asked.”
“Hmm?” I squint at a cloud that vaguely resembles a duck wearing a bonnet.
“Did something happen between you two? I would’ve bet good money you’d be inseparable by now, but she doesn’t even mention you.”
I blink my eyes, unsure what Reid just said. The long leaf must already be kicking in. “What are you talking about?”
“Never mind,” Reid mutters. “Last thing I need is to get in the middle of it.”
I take another puff from my pipe. It tastes like ass, but its effects are worth pushing through the flavor. I offer it back to Reid, but he waves it away.
“What’s so bad that you managed to scrounge up some red?” he asks.
“You know my mother.”
Maternal frustrations were one of the things Reid and I bonded over as kids, with mine bouncing between overbearing affection and beatings while his forgot he existed.
Which is probably worse. At least mine still loved me when I wasn’t disappointing her, and the hitting stopped once I got bigger.
Now she’s just a pain in the ass sometimes.
Reid sighs. “Let me guess—playing the victim? Guilt tripping?”
“Both. Every time I leave for class, she’s reminding me to come to the shop right after to make a delivery or lift something for her. I barely have time to practice incanting, though at this point I don’t know why I even bother.”
I gesture to the various foci lying abandoned nearby: a hodgepodge of stones, surrounded by scattered papers covered with circular focals.
“What happened to not incanting in Haven?” Reid teases.
Growing up, I always gave him a hard time about that. He wanted to practice all the time, while I just wanted to get through my days without risking incarceration.
“I’ll worry about that once I actually incant something. They can’t punish me for tracing lines around pretty rocks while spouting nonsense.” I tilt my head as I consider a particularly robust cloud, seeing if any shapes form. It could be a pig’s snout.
“Let me help,” Reid says, as expected. “There’s gotta be something you’re doing wrong. I can help figure it out.”
This is why I haven’t put much effort into crossing his path lately.
I know in my gut that there’s nothing to figure out—it’s just one more thing I’ve failed at, and I’m running out of time to improve.
Having Reid confirm that would only make it harder to pretend I have a future outside of helping my mother at the shop.
“Not now.”
After a few more hits of long leaf, I close my eyes, letting myself float away to peaceful oblivion.
* * *
I silently curse my mother as I pull open the door to the lecture hall, cutting off Professor Tillman mid-sentence. Late again, all because she made me wait around for a delivery that never showed.
A hundred sets of eyes focus on me. I quickly squeeze onto the nearest bench next to a red-haired girl who barely scoots over to make room.
Tillman’s gaze narrows at me before he continues.
“As I was saying, until recently, the Border Wars were a constant threat against our nation. The sun rose in the east, set in the west, and the fae pushed against our borders, claiming our land as their own. The common man believed the wars occurred simply between us and the fae, but it’s important to realize they are not a singular enemy. ”
As he turns his back to us and draws a map on the chalkboard, the redhead eyes me intently, her lips curling into a smile as she bites the end of her pen.
Wonderful. I force a smile, then fix my gaze on Tillman’s map as if I actually care about it.
At best, it’s a wobbly oval divided into four sections. The smallest is on the left side, stretching narrowly from the top to the bottom.
“If you’ve ever looked at a map before in your life, you’ll recognize this as Landore, our home.”
Tillman taps the smallest area with his chalk. He moves to the other sections of the oval—one covers the top center, another the bottom center, with the third mirroring Landore on the other side, though much wider.
“The faelands comprise three different realms. Thanks to our prisoners of war, we know the northern realm as Aedys, the southern as Ystyr, and the eastern as Llynos.” He writes the names on the board as he says them, the chalk squeaking with every stroke.
“The Border Wars were fought against Aedys and Ystyr, and this discovery was a turning point in the war—it allowed us to tailor our strategies to each battle’s opponents. ”
Fascinating stuff. Truly. I’m sure it’ll affect my life someday.
Warmth presses into the side of my thigh, the red-haired pen-eater having pinned her leg against mine, her eyes locked on me. If I scoot any farther away, I’ll fall flat on my ass off the side of the bench.
I really don’t need this right now. Attention like this used to be the one thing that made me feel good about myself. And dragging me into their beds—who wouldn’t enjoy that? But I’m getting tired of just being a fun piece of meat. There’s more to me, and I wish people would see that.
Experience has taught me that rebuffing her advances will risk causing a scene—it’s better to give her what she wants, then run as soon as I get the chance.
So I put my hand on her leg and give a quick squeeze.
Her eyes widen, and I shoot her a smile, praying it’ll be enough to keep her hopefully daydreaming till the end of class.
Then I lean forward on the desk, prop my chin against my hand and stare at Professor Tillman like he is the most interesting man alive.
He’s not. His voice drones on:
“When the Border Wars ended twenty-one years ago, it was because the northern fae, those from Aedys, suddenly ceased hostilities. The last battle occurred a few days later in the village of Oakhurst. The Ystyr fae attacked in force, and it seemed inevitable they would win the day as hundreds of civilians were forced to flee for their lives. But when the Order’s reinforcements arrived, they found the village abandoned and the fae border no closer than previously recorded… ”
Class ends an excruciating bell later, and I practically leap from the bench into the crowd to escape my would-be companion. I cringe as someone tugs on my sleeve, bracing for the worst as I turn around.
Relief washes over me at the sight of beautiful cinnamon eyes.
“Ellie.”
I quickly scan the students filing out behind her for red hair.
Catching a glimpse heading our way, I take Ellie’s hand and lead her down the hall, around a corner, to an empty corridor that catches the echoes of everyone’s departure.
Candlelight flickers from the wall sconces, bathing us in a surprisingly sensual light for a lifeless hallway, despite the greasy tallow smell.
The warm glow clings to Ellie’s skin, making me very aware that my lips could be doing that, too.
“Hiding from someone?” she asks as I check if anyone followed us.
“The girl sitting next to me made it very clear she had intentions for me.”
“Did she?” Ellie peeks back, too. “Too bad you belong to me.” Her eyes meet mine, and despite the boldness of her words, doubt shadows her face.
It makes my heart ache that she’d question that at all. I know I have a reputation, and by most people’s standards, we haven’t been taking things slow, but I want things to be different with her.
“I do.” Sliding my hands around her waist, I bring her close as I lean against the wall. She lights up with a smile that chases away the darkness, melting me with its radiance.
“Really?” she asks. “I wouldn’t know it based on how little I’ve seen you.”
She wraps her hands behind my neck, fingers twisting the curls of my hair, her confidence returning to her touch. Irritation at my mother for keeping me so busy bubbles up, but I pop it, keeping my focus entirely on Ellie.
“Trust me, I’m yours.” I bring my lips to hers, giving in to a kiss that pulls every ounce of tension out of me until there’s only her.
She smiles as we part, far too soon. “Do you have time now?”
A jab in my chest disrupts the cozy heat within.
“I wish—I promised my mother I’d help at the shop.
” Ellie’s hips relax into me as I adjust my grip on her waist. “The equinox is coming up. It’s one of the busiest times of the year for her, and she can’t sort through all the deliveries on her own.
The money from all the new dresses for the ball keeps us fed for most of the year. ”
“What ball?”
“The Equinox Ball. It’s one of the few times a year they actually make this place look fancy. You’ll love it.” I hesitate, my pulse quickening. “You should go with me.”
Ellie’s eyes practically glow. “I’d love to.”
It’s more than I can bear. I lift her onto her toes, peppering her with kisses until she lets me in. She tightens her grip in my hair, twisting as she pulls me closer.
My hands slide down her hips, ready to wrap around her ass and hoist her up, pulling her legs around me so I can push her against the opposite wall. But the instant they curl around her backside, she jerks back, breathless.
“What are you doing?”
“Uh… kissing you?”
Her face burns bright pink. “Someone could walk down this hallway any second.”
“Sounds like their problem.” But I let go of her, holding my hands up in surrender. I may not care, but the last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable.
She straightens her blouse. “You said you had work to do? Anything I can help with?”
None of my girlfriends have ever offered that before. While nothing would make me happier, if Mother’s around, she could ruin everything. “You can,” I say slowly, “but if my mother’s there, it might be best if you head back.”
Ellie’s face falls. “Does she not like me?”
“She doesn’t like anybody. I just don’t want her making you uncomfortable.”
Ellie idly strokes my arm as she considers. “Alright. But if she’s there, I’m at least saying hello. She needs to get used to me.” She presses closer, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. “Because you’re mine, and I’m not letting anyone scare me away.”
There it is. The spark I’ve only glimpsed before, breaking free.
I need more.