Chapter 11 #2
“It’s a date.” He gives me a tug, and we continue our ascent.
While I keep clipping my feet on the steps, he’s nowhere near as clumsy; his soft footfalls barely make the wood creak.
We finally reach the highest level, where the tower’s copper bells, each larger than a person, hang another twenty feet above our heads.
The night sky spills in through a balcony, and Caeo gently guides me toward it.
I gasp as we step into the brisk air—I’ve never been so high up. If it were daytime, I’m certain I’d see the far-off forests and mountains.
Firelight flickers in paper lanterns lining the streets below, and warm light pours out of open doors and windows. Couples walk the streets, holding hands, and a sense of connection pulses between us as my fingers trace Caeo’s arm at my waist.
I lift my gaze up to the stars.
No moon hangs in the sky, only an endless ocean of twinkling lights. As if nothing exists outside of us and the starlight.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper.
“It’s nothing compared to you.”
I turn away from the view, winding my arms around his shoulders. My fingers twist through the midnight curls at the nape of his neck.
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
“I’m glad you like it.” He pulls me tighter against him. “Though I have to admit, I had another motive other than just the stars.” Through the darkness, the hunger in his eyes burns into me, the heat rushing between my legs.
Is he hoping to…?
My mouth goes dry, and the truth trembles out. “I’m not sure I’m ready.”
His face inches closer to mine, nuzzling my cheek with his nose. “Tell me to stop and I will,” he whispers, his breath melting against my skin. Then he kisses me, and my fears fade away.
He’s gentle, his lips brushing mine with only the vaguest tease of his tongue.
They graze against my cheek, tender pecks along the curve of my jaw, a warmth blooming with every one.
My head tilts up, bending to his touch as an ache builds in my core.
I’d read stories of kisses unraveling someone, felt it with my own touch, but didn’t know, didn’t understand what it truly meant until now.
His fingers trail up my body until they’re twisting the buttons of my collar. It falls open, undone all the way down to the dip between my breasts. He tugs me closer, chasing away the cold with hot, hungry kisses that devour my neck, tracing its length until he claims the curve of my collarbone.
A sigh escapes me, followed by heavy, desperate breaths as I lift my face up to the stars. This isn’t fair—I can’t kiss him like this, and the urge to bring my lips to his skin threatens to consume me.
My fingers weave through his hair, tightening their grip. “Caeo, stop.”
He pulls back, his gray eyes glimmering as he catches his breath. “Already? Is something—”
I shove him against the exterior wall, my lips crashing against his. He laughs into my kiss, slipping his hands around my waist, then pulls me with him as he sinks down.
I yelp as I lose balance, tumbling into him as he hits the wood floor with a grunt and thud.
“Easy there.”
“Are you alright?” I push myself up, my hands pressing into his chest.
“Never better.”
His fingernails rake along my scalp, catching in my braid as he pulls my mouth to his.
I’m in his lap, straddling him. Absorbing the sweet taste of his tongue, his lips, as his fingers tousle my hair.
The hunger within me builds, and I scramble blindly for the buttons of his collar, my hands shaking as I tear them open.
Am I really doing this? The thought vanishes, blown away by the desire to be as close to him as physically possible.
Caeo fumbles with his waistcoat, finally escaping it as I tug open more of his buttons. My mouth desperately claims the smooth skin of his neck, and his clove scent sends my head rushing as my fingers run along his chest, catching on his necklace as they follow the lines of his pectorals.
His hands slide down my sides, along my hips, tightening the aching knot within. They slip further down, his fingers wrapping around my backside, and I gasp as the knot ignites, its blaze sizzling through me.
“Ellie.” His rasping groan melts me into him as my lips explore every dip along his skin. My legs spread as he pulls me tight against his pelvis, and a firm length presses between my thighs.
My eyelids snap open, and I freeze, my body begging me to rock my hips as my heart twists around itself in panic.
Breathing heavily, Caeo’s eyes flutter open, soft and gray as a rain cloud, searching my face.
“I…” My exhales match his, and I try to form words, but nothing comes out.
His eyes drift shut, and he nods. “Yeah… alright.” He doesn’t sound frustrated, his touch tender as he pulls me from his lap. I collapse against the wall next to him, and we both sit there, catching our breath.
I don’t know what to say. What to think.
Why did I stop? My body yearns to keep going, aching painfully from being left unsatisfied. But my heart… What’s this tension curling within? Why does it hesitate to trust what the rest of me wants?
This has all been so fast. Too fast to be real? Or maybe I’m scared. Of baring myself so completely.
No, that’s not it. He sees me—more than anyone—and appreciates the person I’ve kept locked away for all these years, fearing she wouldn’t meet expectations. But this is different. The one way I can still disappoint him.
Stop overthinking.
Caeo tucks his arm around me, and I lean into his shoulder, my heart pounding. “It’s fine, Ellie. We can wait till you’re ready.”
A lump forms in my throat. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
The tension inside me won’t release, and it won’t as long as I keep my fears buried inside. If he really cares, then I shouldn’t be afraid.
With a deep breath, I force myself to speak. “You’ve been with other girls before, haven’t you?”
Caeo rubs his thumb against my hip. “There’s been… more than a few.”
I swallow. I can’t really blame him. He’s gorgeous, and if I’d lived a different life, I’d have liked to be more experienced, too. But my worry lingers. “What if I’m not as good as them?”
He brings his hand to my face, his gentle touch tilting my head until I meet his eyes. “Don’t worry about that. You’re not like those women.”
“Because I stopped?”
“No—I mean, yes, that’s true.” A soft smile blooms across his face. “But I didn’t care about them like I care about you. I told you: I’m yours. I’ll never break your heart.”
Words escape me, floating just out of reach. Tears threaten to fall as I search his face.
There’s nothing but devotion in his eyes.
Bringing my lips to his, I kiss him softly, tenderly. When we part, my own heart’s reflected in his gaze. It’s unclear what the future holds, but in this moment, with him, it doesn’t worry me for once. I curl into his chest, closing my eyes as the steady rhythm of his heart echoes through me.