Chapter 14
Ellie
Sharp shadows creep along the edges of our sitting room, its lanterns burning low. Cold and gray, countered only by the warmth of Caeo’s arms tightening around my waist, my hands resting on his chest. We haven’t moved since Reid left. Trapped in stillness, uncertain what to do next.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t go to the faculty?” Caeo asks. “This could be some kind of fae magic, right?”
That doesn’t seem likely—why would an enemy who hasn’t attacked in twenty years randomly decide to toy with the minds of two students? It’s so absurd that my mind dismisses the suggestion without a second thought.
“If we can’t figure it out on our own, we will.”
An echo of my earlier panic clenches my chest, but I force myself to breathe.
To focus on the warmth of his touch. I need to believe we’ll find the answer; we’ve already figured out the bounds of whatever this is, and we have Reid’s help.
This is simply a test of our relationship. We can get through it.
“I’d really prefer it if my father doesn’t get involved,” I add, reassuring him with a squeeze of my fingers.
That’s what will happen the second he hears about it, which would immediately follow any visit with the headmaster.
While my mom likely suspected I was hoping to find someone here, I had avoided any discussion of the matter.
All the rules and expectations… thinking about them made it hard to breathe.
Even if we’ve managed to stay within their standards of decency, it’s unlikely someone with Caeo’s reputation—from the slums and on the verge of failing out—is their ideal future son-in-law.
His eyebrows knit together. “But if it’s fae magic, shouldn’t they know as soon as possible?”
Why is he so caught up on fae involvement? Does he know something I don’t?
But no—that doesn’t make any sense. So I bring my hand to his cheek, hoping to ease his worries. “We’ll figure it out, I promise. After the ball.”
Despite everything, butterflies tickle in my belly. The ball. My reflection from earlier, draped in that sultry dress, flashes through my mind. Caeo’s face when he sees me in it. The hunger in his eyes. How his fingers will dance across my skin.
The corners of his lips tug into a smile. “Something on your mind?”
My mouth tightens. “Nothing. Just thinking about tomorrow.”
It’s suddenly sweltering in here. I glance at the wall clock—already past midnight.
Caeo follows my gaze. “It’s getting late. Should I go? Or…?” His brow raises as the word hangs.
Or what? Stay the night?
I didn’t think my heart could beat any faster, but I was clearly wrong.
Staying the night doesn’t necessarily mean… Does it?
But I want it to. I want us to.
Don’t I?
Twin aches ripple through my heart and my core, insisting I do, but the moment doesn’t feel right. Forced, even. I’m tired, exhausted from the night’s revelations. The air has a staleness to it, devoid of the romance I’ve always dreamt of for my first time.
I circle my fingers against Caeo’s chest, and they catch on a lump beneath his shirt. “What’s this?” I pinch at the form. It’s like a pouch, overstuffed with something rough and pokey.
Caeo rests his hand on mine. “A necklace my mother gave me. Said my father would’ve wanted me to wear it.” With it pressed between his palm and his chest, a sharp, steady beat pulses through my fingers.
“You haven’t mentioned your father before.”
“I never met him. Out of the picture before I was born.”
I sigh, my thoughts returning to the issue at hand. Tomorrow is better. Reid promised he’d bring Caeo to me, and Alexis would never let me miss going to the ball with him. We should be safe.
And then my first time can be after a beautiful night, wearing a beautiful dress, with tonight’s worries far from our minds.
We deserve that. A night to cherish one another before burying ourselves in the mystery coiling around us, threatening to tear us apart.
I simply have to believe it’ll work out. We’ve defied the odds so far.
“You should go. I won’t get any sleep if you stay, and I want to be well-rested for the ball.” I swallow. “And what comes after.”
Caeo’s eyes widen, and the yearning deep within me twists tighter. “And what’s that, I wonder?”
“You’ll have to make sure you show up and find out.”
His smile falters. “That’s really not up to me, is it?”
My heart sinks, threatening to drown if I let it. “We have to trust Reid. It’s impractical for us to stay together at all times.”
“I know. I just hate the idea of leaving, not knowing if I’ll ever see you again.”
“That’s always the case—it’s impossible to know what the future will bring.” After all, I never imagined this would be my life. “Now, we just won’t know what we’ve lost.”
“I don’t find that particularly comforting,” Caeo mumbles, but he pulls me to the door with him nonetheless. He turns back to me, his gray eyes scouring my face, then brings his lips to mine.
It’s a slow, tender kiss, and he pours himself into me, feeding the fire within. Heat stirs between my legs, aching for me to pull him deeper.
No. Not tonight.
Our lips part, and we linger, our breath entwining as I gaze into the smoky depths of his eyes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Caeo nods, a subtle twitch of his head. “I’ll find you.”
He keeps hold of my fingers as he leaves, but they drift out of his grasp as he steps into the hallway.
My chest pounds as I ease the door shut, keeping him in my sight as long as possible while praying I’m not making a horrible mistake.
* * *
Sunlight warms my face through the window, like it has every morning since my arrival at the Academy. But the world outside is entirely different.
Third-year students, toiling away since before dawn, have transformed the barren wasteland that surrounds the Academy into a lush paradise, with not a speck of dirt visible beneath the trees, ferns, and shrubs blanketing the landscape.
Each student tends their own garden, and visitors will stroll through this afternoon, casting their votes for the most impressive displays.
They’ll announce the winner at tonight’s ball, but it’ll be a miracle if the incanted flora lasts that long.
Whoever’s working beneath my window has an obvious love of pink and green.
A stone path with small, rosy flowers filling its cracks meanders through a field of clovers.
Boulders of various sizes stand throughout, impeccably placed, with various flowers clumped around them—tulips, camellias, and lilies being the gardener’s clear favorites.
She’s currently focused on sprouting spindly cherry trees whose branches dance gracefully out from their trunks, speeding them through their natural cycles to fill their limbs with delicate pink blossoms.
Minutes pass as I lean against my window, mesmerized by her work. Not even the palace gardens in Durnam have so much color.
I should draw this.
Not her creations, beautiful as they are, but the moment her face transforms from intense focus into the elation of success. I need to capture that.
Time flows by as I sketch, doing quick studies whenever she completes a task. Her eyes, the tug of her smile, how her mouth parts as a tired breath escapes her. Later, I’ll use these to build a more complete, polished picture.
Once she moves beyond my line of sight, I reluctantly close my sketchbook and prepare for the day, turning my options over in my mind.
Tagging along with Alexis and Oliver would likely be awkward, and I’ve never actually had to look for Reid before, always meeting up in class.
I’m not sure I have the gall to search the men’s dorms.
I’m dressed, but still uncertain what to do when someone bangs loudly on the door.
“Reid?” What are the chances? “What are you doing here?”
He rolls his eyes. “You don’t remember. Of course.” He leans closer, peering past me. “Is Alexis here? I never found her last night.”
It was too much to hope he was here for me. I let him in, and he goes straight to Alexis’s door, pounding on it. A groan sounds from within. A minute later, Alexis emerges wearing the same clothes as yesterday, her hair sticking out at odd angles.
She yawns. “What’s going on?”
I lean against the wall, hoping that if I stick around, they’ll invite me to whatever they have going on. “Late night?” I ask.
Alexis nods, smoothing the kinks out of her dark braids.
Reid’s brow furrows. “But you weren’t at The Duck when I got there.”
Her eyes pop open, focusing on him. “You actually came back?”
“I said I would.”
“Yeah, but we waited forever. We eventually gave up, figured you weren’t coming.”
“We?”
“Emmrich and me.” Her face brightens. “We went to his place. The third-years had already started gardening by the time I got back.”
Reid’s eyes narrow, and I slowly back away from the conversation.
This won’t end well.
Alexis shrugs. “He assumed you weren’t interested.”
Reid’s palm flies open in a gesture of disbelief. “Why would he think that? I said I’d come back.”
“But you didn’t.”
I do not want to get pulled into this, not after what happened when I tried to smooth things over with Sophie. I creep toward the hallway door.
Reid’s eyes shoot daggers at Alexis. “So instead of wondering if I was alright, you just fucked him instead?”
Oh boy.
Alexis pulls herself to her full height, glaring at Reid. “You know what? I did. Twice!”
I rush out before Reid responds.
* * *
After a hearty breakfast by myself, I head to the library, idly roaming the stacks of dusty books until the gardens open to the public.
I pick one from the literature section, a chaste romance being the most interesting thing they offered, but find myself unable to focus as I curl up in a stiff armchair to read.
I hope Reid and Alexis can work things out on their own, but fear the worst. The last thing I want is to pick sides, but Reid’s talked about Emmrich enough that his interest was clear, while Alexis was already set with Oliver. That should’ve been enough.
At the same time, it’s hard not to envy how she’s both confident and desirable enough to be with multiple men. If I were her, I’d want to enjoy that, too.
Once the six noon bells chime, I make my way to the Academy grounds. I may be alone, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the festivities. It could even provide a chance to meet people outside my frustratingly small circle.
A sizeable crowd of both students and Havenites trickles through the newly formed paths of the transformed landscape, their awed voices less abrasive than I’d expected for such a gathering.
It’s a cornucopia of artistic expression, each garden more beautiful than the last, and I wander for several bells, taking in the sights.
Despite my attachment to the pink oasis whose creation I witnessed from my window, I eventually discover the clear winner.
This gardener covered their entire area with a shallow pool of smooth obsidian.
Perhaps six inches of water fills it, dotted with lily pads and floating flowers, reflecting my face back as I walk along the raised stone pathway that crests the surface.
Succulents of various shapes and colors surround the pool, with waterfalls flowing between them.
The path circles the centerpiece—two trees, one with white bark and blood-red leaves, the other dark ebony with leaves of gold, growing beside one another.
They bend closer and closer as their trunks entwine, twisting until they merge into one, reaching up to the sky.
Water trickles from its highest branches like tears, unending.
A yearning fills me—an ache to have what these trees represent: a love powerful enough to unite two into one.
“Pretty, isn’t it?”
I jump at the voice, then find myself face-to-face with the blond boy who caught me eyeing him at the placement exams. He apologizes for startling me, then introduces himself as Theodore.
“It’s beautiful,” I say, nervously glancing between him and the trees. Is he hoping to ask me to the ball? Why else would he be talking to me? “I never would’ve thought of making something like that.”
“Have you seen the one with black and red flowers just down the way?” he asks. I haven’t, so he takes my hand and pulls me along the path.
My palm’s sweating against his; normally, this would be completely inappropriate, but that’s the theme of the day. So I let him lead me, heart pounding as I pretend I’m Alexis and capable of living a life like hers.
By the time she finds us, the late afternoon sun paints the gardens with a golden light. She doesn’t care an ounce about the sights; she simply needs me to return to the dormitory so she can do my hair for the ball.
“Who was that?” she asks as we step into our sitting room. Sophie’s door is closed tight.
“His name’s Theodore. He said he’d look for me at the ball.” My face burns at the admission, both from what that might mean for my night and anxiety over Alexis’s opinion. But there’s something beneath, too. A tightness in my chest, as if something’s not quite right.
She raises her brow, then shrugs. “Who am I to judge? Now get dressed—we don’t have any time to waste.”
Once I’m in my room, I carefully slip my dress on, its soft fabric sliding along my skin.
After clasping its collar around my neck, I glance down to where it catches on the peaks of my breasts, sending goosebumps tickling along my spine.
I can’t wear anything underneath to prevent that, not with my back so completely exposed, and heat rushes to my face as I imagine Theodore’s warm fingers grazing my skin if he asks me to dance.
I push the heat back down, warning myself not to get my hopes up.
It takes a significant amount of time for Alexis to style both of our hair, with me awkwardly holding her braids up as she pins them in place. She curls my individual locks into one larger twist, which she affixes to the back of my head. With precise fingers, she weaves pink flowers throughout.
She hands me a small mirror, and my mouth goes dry as I take in my reflection—she was right to style my hair this way. The elegant style highlights my bare shoulders, drawing the eye down the length of my back.
My pulse quickens with nerves. Tonight could fulfill my every fantasy—or utterly humiliate me.
Just breathe.
My innards are completely tangled by the time we reach the Great Hall, just as the first nighttime bell chimes.
The gardens have already wilted, incapable of surviving a single day.
Workers, likely from Haven, move somberly through the decay, gathering the dead foliage while a crowd of students lingers outside the entry doors, babbling with excitement as they await their partners.
“There’s Oliver!” Alexis adjusts her dress before bouncing into the masses.
She disappears from sight just as someone’s fingers wrap around my hand.