Chapter 43 Ellie
Ellie
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I should’ve listened. To Taran. To Reid. Every warning, every plea.
But I didn’t.
I thought I was helping. That being with Taran would make me matter. Let me fix things.
How could I have been so stupid?
Caeo’s face lights up as he bounds toward me. Before I know it, I’m wrapped in his arms. I can’t move, can’t hug him back. If it weren’t for him holding me, I would crumble to the ground.
My next breath catches in my throat. Dreading what I’ll find, my eyes seek Taran as Caeo embraces me. Cadoc’s people rush by all around us, shouting as they pack up their camp.
There—looking away, at the ground. Defeated.
A blond fae woman in a heavy fur coat stands by the campfire nearby, watching. Her dark eyes narrow as they meet mine.
She knows. I don’t know how, but she does.
Caeo takes my face in his hands, bringing it to his. He doesn’t kiss me, but presses his forehead against mine, our noses touching. Tears glisten in his eyes.
His blue eyes, glowing brilliantly in the darkness. Unfamiliar, yet perfectly him.
“I found you,” he whispers, like so many times before.
“I… I didn’t remember you,” I choke out. My body shakes uncontrollably.
“It’s alright.” His fingers burn as they caress my cheek. “I brought someone who can break the curse. She broke it for me.”
The fae in the fur coat.
He pulls me into another embrace. Tears stream down my face. I gulp some air, but my lungs don’t want it. Not after what I’ve done.
“Caeo, stop. Please.”
He pulls back, his eyes searching my face. The same eyes I fell in love with, despite the change in color.
“What’s wrong?”
My throat twists with the words I need to say.
“I didn’t remember you, Caeo. I didn’t…”
My eyes drift to Taran, squeezing his brow with his hand.
I did this to him. All I wanted was to help. Support him. But all I did was push him into betraying the brother he hoped to save.
Caeo follows my gaze. His grip loosens.
“No…”
He looks back at me, and when I don’t respond, can’t respond… the light in his eyes fractures, his heart shattering into a million pieces.
“No. No.” He stumbles backward, his head shaking.
“I’m sorry—I’m so sorry.”
I made him promise not to break my heart. Instead, I broke his.
He turns away, charging at Taran.
“What did you do?” Caeo shouts, shoving him. A passing fae carrying a large sack jumps out of the way, narrowly avoiding collision.
Frozen in place, I flinch, reaching toward Taran as the bitter sting of self-hatred pierces my chest.
He staggers away, staying on his feet but keeping his eyes down. Like he wants Caeo’s rage. Like he deserves it.
“You knew! That was the entire reason you brought her here. You knew she loved me, but you did it anyway!”
My feet finally move, and I grab Caeo’s arm. “It’s not his fault! It’s mine. He warned me, but I ignored him. I pushed him.”
Caeo yanks his arm free, then storms off. I glance at Taran. His palms dig into his brow, his fingers clenching his hair.
“Taran? What’s wrong?” I rush to his side, taking his hand and turning his face to mine. His eyes clamp shut. With a violent tug, he yanks himself free of my grasp.
“Are you fucking serious right now?!”
I turn at the sound. Caeo’s there, hunched over, breathing heavily. I bring my hands to my chest, clutching them tight.
I have to keep Caeo in sight.
I back away from both of them, far enough that they’d have to run in opposite directions to escape my field of vision. Cadoc’s people are mostly gone, the frantic sounds of evacuation disappearing into the darkness.
The fae woman approaches Caeo as he drops to the ground, resting her hand on his back as she speaks to him in hushed tones. Shame burns within me—I should be the one comforting him, not her.
His face is wet with tears, his body trembling as he pulls his knees to his chest. And Taran… He can’t look at Caeo, or me, his knuckles white as his fingers clench into his palms.
There’s so much to say. To both of them, but I can’t. Not without destroying the other.
I hit the earth as my knees buckle. Hugging myself tightly, I gasp for air, my lungs compressed by the weight of my mistakes.
How can I possibly fix this?
My heart twists tighter and tighter. I press my eyes shut.
My breathing slows.
The ache loosens. Cold air prickles my skin.
What’s going on? Why am I crying?
With a deep inhale, I open my eyes to the grass in front of me. How did I get here? Did I fall?
I was with Emlyn when Reid came in, and it felt intrusive to stay, so I left. Then Taran was upset, and I reached for him, and now… What happened?
Holes in my memory. It must be the curse.
Every other time this has happened, I’ve been mid-conversation with someone. But nobody’s talking to me now.
Part of the reason we came here, other than confronting the queen, was for something related to my curse. With everything from before my eyes were closed missing, maybe whatever that was is triggering it visually now?
“Taran?” I call, covering my eyes with my hands and squeezing them shut. “Taran, are you there?”
A broken voice sobs, but I don’t recognize it.
“I’m here, Ellie.” Taran’s voice is close. Wrecked.
“I can’t remember what’s happening. Is it the curse?”
“It is.”
“What should I do?”
“I… I don’t know. I don’t know what the right thing to do is.” His voice wavers as he speaks.
“We have to break the curse,” the other voice says. Male.
An icy gust of wind. I sit up straighter, resisting the urge to uncover my eyes. “We can break it? How?”
“Owena, break it, please.” Raw desperation edges the voice. Beneath the pain, it sounds strangely familiar. Homey.
A new voice cuts through—female. “I’m not certain that’s the best course of action right now.”
“What the fuck? That’s the whole reason I brought you here.”
“Taran?” I reach out blindly as bits of conversation fade away. Finding his hand, I squeeze it tight. “I’m missing something. What is she talking about?”
His arm jerks back, wresting his hand free. “Princess Owena can break your curse, but she doesn’t think she should.”
“I fully intend to release her from the curse, but right now, she’s functioning. We don’t have time to break her down and sort through this mess—we need to leave.”
My head nods in time with my racing heart. “That makes sense, right? The queen will send someone after us. We don’t have time to waste.” Taran and Emlyn are in no shape to fight, and after what happened when I incanted… Dread clutches my insides at the idea of doing it again.
“It’s not a waste!” another voice cries. Seconds later, someone pulls my hands from my face, gripping them tight.
“Ellie, open your eyes, please.”
“Caeo?”
I open my eyes to Caeo’s face. Blue eyes, swollen and red, with the tips of fae ears peeking out of his midnight hair. My heart folds in on itself, forming a lump in my throat.
My words burst out with a sob. “I’m so sorry, Caeo. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
His thumb rubs against my fingers. “Owena can break the curse. We can figure this out.”
I look between him and Taran, unsure what to say. Then the fae woman, Owena, catches my gaze. Her eyes, dark as night, widen as she subtly shakes her head.
I swallow. “I don’t—”
Owena interrupts. “Please trust me. We should wait until we’re somewhere safe, so Ellie can have the time she needs to process everything.”
Is that really what’s best? This woman’s a stranger to me; why should I trust her?
Caeo drops my hands, standing to face her. “No. You need to break it.”
She draws herself up as she meets him head-on, unflinching. Firelight flickers hauntingly across her face.
“Not now. Remember how you reacted when I broke yours? We don’t have time for Ellie to go through that.”
Caeo clenches his fists, his jaw tightening. His words burst out of him.
“Just do it!”
His voice slams into me. Like when Taran bent Merfyn.
A pit opens in my stomach.
Owena spasms, her body going stiff. Her mouth slowly opens, twitching, as if trying to speak, but nothing comes out.
In less than a heartbeat, Taran’s on Caeo, tearing him away by his shirt. His words hit even harder than Caeo’s.
“Stop it. Release her. Now.”
Owena gasps as she tumbles forward. She catches herself on the grassy earth, panting.
My heart pounds. I don’t understand—she didn’t follow his command. “What just happened?”
Taran flings Caeo’s shirt from his grip. “He tried to bend her.”
Caeo scowls at him. “What are you talking about? I can’t willbend.” Half a second later, he grimaces in pain.
His face goes white.
“Yes, you can,” Taran says. “But you don’t know what you’re doing and her will is too strong. You’ll only end up hurting her.”
“I… No… I can’t be…” Caeo drags his fingers down his face. “Fuck.”
A weight creeps slowly down my chest. He’s not the same person I fell in love with at the Academy. He’s a fae prince now, with all the power that comes with it.
I lean closer to Owena. “Are you alright?”
She nods shakily. “Well enough.”
Caeo drops beside her, his hand quaking as he rests it on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Owena. I didn’t mean to—I didn’t know I could bend people.”
She meets his eyes, a slight smirk forming on her lips. “You’ll need to learn to control that.”
He takes a deep, trembling breath. “I’m sorry, but I still need—”
Taran cuts him off, the force of his voice hitting hard. “Quiet, Caeo, before you do it again.”
Caeo’s lips continue to move, but no sound comes out. Panic floods his face as he brings his hands to his mouth, trying again and again, but there’s nothing. His eyes widen in horror.
My spine shudders. “Taran, stop it!”
“He could hurt someone.”
“And you’re hurting him!”
Caeo crumbles to the ground. I scramble over, helping him up. He leans into me, shivering, his eyes frantic.
Taran bends him again, his voice heavy. “You can make noise, Caeo.”
He coughs violently, gasping for air.
I pull him close, hugging his head against my breast as he convulses in my arms. “It’s alright, Caeo, it’s over. You can speak.”
Taran stumbles back a few steps, shaking his head. “I didn’t… No one’s ever reacted like that before.”
This doesn’t make any sense. I know what it feels like—Taran’s bent me twice. Even Merfyn didn’t respond like that.
There’s something more going on.
Owena shoots Taran a hard look. “Your mother’s been bending him ever since she brought him here.”
She rests her hand on Caeo’s shoulder as I squeeze him tight. I can’t imagine what he’s been through. But he held on. For me. Only to find out I’d fallen for the brother he never knew he had.
Taran slumps. “I didn’t…” he repeats, his voice trailing off. Turning away, he lets out a guttural roar that rips through the air, then buries his face in his hands.
Silence. Then Caeo pushes himself up, wiping his face on his sleeve. With a heavy breath, he slowly lifts his head to Owena. “Can you give us a minute?”
She bites her lip, then nods. Getting to her feet, she takes a few steps away, keeping her distance from Taran. Cadoc’s people have all left, the eerie quiet interrupted only by the pops of the campfire.
Caeo reaches out, running his fingers gently along my braids, leftover from earlier. “You look so different, dressed all fae-like.”
My heart hiccups between a laugh and a sob. “You, too.”
I slide my fingers through his soft hair, and a flicker of warmth stirs at the memory of the last time I did that. It seems like ages ago—like the memory belongs to someone else.
They come to rest atop the pointed tip of his ear.
He’s changed. Not just in appearance, but his spirit. During our weeks apart, something shattered him.
No. Not something. Someone.
His mother.
This is all her fault.
We may not have ended her reign, but we rescued Caeo. The most important thing right now is to make sure she never comes anywhere near him ever again.
Which means…
“Owena’s right,” I say, taking Caeo’s hand. “We don’t have time to break the curse now. We need to get moving before your mother sends anyone after us.”
“So I’m just supposed to step aside and watch you share tender moments with my brother?”
His words stab me in the heart, but I bite down with my resolve. “We’ll fix this. Once you’re safe.”
I don’t know how, but we will. For Caeo. For Taran. And for me.
Caeo sighs, running his hand through his hair.
Taran steps closer, looking away as he towers above us. “Ellie can help Reid with Emlyn. I’ll… keep my distance.”
Caeo glares at Taran as he gets to his feet. “Fuck you.” Then he storms away, dropping down next to the fire and burying his face in his arms.
I start after him, but Owena stops me with a hand on my shoulder. I keep my eyes on Caeo.
“I’ll talk to him,” she says. “But we need to leave—now.” She turns to Taran. “Do you have a destination in mind? Somewhere we can take Emlyn that’s safe?”
Taran’s jaw tightens, but he nods. “I do.”
“Then Taran will lead the way.” Owena looks back at me. “He’ll explain that you need to stay with Emlyn and not look back because of your curse. I’ll follow with Caeo.”
My gut twists in protest, but I know this is the best course of action. Every second we stay here, the greater the risk we’ll be found. I can’t let that happen, for both Caeo’s and Taran’s sake. A confrontation would force Taran to willbend, ruining him, and capture would destroy them both.
Owena releases me, heading over to Caeo. She rests a hesitant hand on his shoulder as she sits next to him.
I force myself to look away, following Taran to the tent. He explains that I need to pack up and help Reid get Emlyn ready to travel. To stay in the tent until he returns with a horse.
He averts his gaze as he speaks to me. “It’s important. Your curse—what makes you forget—it’s still here. You need to keep your eyes where I tell you.”
I nod. “I understand.”
My memory’s blank from the moment I was on the ground, eyes closed as Taran spoke about my curse. Whatever happened after that has left me completely drained, but a quiet flame burns within. I squeeze Taran’s hand, seeking comfort; this was supposed to be over by now.
He flinches at my touch, pain flashing across his face. “No, Ellie. It’s not the time.” He pulls his hand free, the light in his eyes crackling like a raging inferno. “We need to hurry.”
“Alright, I’m going.” I hesitate, then lift myself onto my toes, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He recoils as soon as my lips touch him.
Why is he spurning me? Is it because I incanted?
Someone curses behind me. I turn, curious, but Taran stops me, anguish distorting his face.
“Just go inside. Help Reid.”
I let out a deep exhale. I can do that. Once we get Emlyn to safety, we can figure out what’s next. We may have failed to stop the queen, but it’s not over yet.
I have too much to protect.