37. Chapter Thirty Seven Brannoc
Chapter Thirty Seven: Brannoc
I waited in the living area, pacing back and forth every now and then when my nervous energy became too much. Pausing in my trek, I rubbed my tired eyes, regretting the lack of sleep from the night before. After Rhowyn had left with Lennox, I sat through the rest of the planning only half paying attention. Today, we would be leaving to approach the other Ravens, the ones who had been assigned to guard the source of the holy water.
While I was a Raven, I had never associated much with others of my kind. After my father had been killed, my mother left the enclave, falling in love with a brownie in the village I had grown up in. Taking a lover after losing her Raven mate was highly frowned upon by my kind. They had expected her to marry another Raven to continue trying to repopulate our species, which had dwindled significantly under Titania's long rule.
They had effectively shunned her, no longer allowing her to participate in their celebrations and rituals, and by doing so, had also shunned me. Even when she'd died before my powers had shown up, they still hadn't allowed me back into their graces. Instead, they had left me with the brownie that had loved my mother. I had been just another burden for the poor man who cared for me the best he could. That was until Arryn had taken me in.
Still, I had run into enough Ravens through the years that I knew where they were and what they considered to be their holy mission. I knew they would give us a hard time about entering their domain, especially if they found out about the fact that I had a True Mate, only she wasn't a Raven.
Running a hand over my face, I shuddered at how much of a coward I was being about the whole thing. I knew I should just tell her the truth, but I couldn't help the fear that she wouldn't be as happy as I was about the fact. And I was ecstatic. If the Ravens didn't accept my True Mate, then they could just go fuck themselves. I didn't need their approval, but it did seem that we needed their permission to obtain the water so Rhowyn could be crowned Queen.
When had my life become so complicated? Even assisting Arryn in his missions to undermine the Queen had been simpler than the mess we found ourselves in now.
I could hear the sounds of the others preparing for our mission. After eavesdropping on Rhowyn's meeting with her father, I couldn't sleep, so instead, I had gotten everything ready that we'd need. Hopefully everything would go smoothly, without falling apart, and we'd get what we needed without someone getting injured. Maybe, we'd be able to find a quiet moment where I could tell Rhowyn the truth.
As if my thoughts had conjured her, Rhowyn stepped into the room, leather pants and vest over a long-sleeved shirt. Her hair was pulled back from her face, the length swinging slightly behind her as she walked. Catching my eye, she smiled. Ducking my head, I turned away from her, my fear getting the best of me again. What if she didn't want to be my mate? How would I take that?
Her soft footsteps reached my ears as she approached me. She sighed when I didn't turn around to look at her. “Is this how it's going to be?” she asked, the hurt causing her voice to break slightly.
I turned around, unable to bear being the cause of her pain. “No. It's not you...” I started, but my words failed me again.
“Really? Because it sure does feel that way to me. I thought we had something.” Her wide honey eyes watered as she called me out for my behavior.
“We did. We do.” I pleaded with her to understand, futile though it was. How could she understand something she had no idea about?
“Then why are you avoiding me?” she asked. When my mouth opened and closed several times, the words failing me, she continued, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” I sighed, closing my eyes and building up the courage to just spit it out.
“Then what is it? Surely, we can talk about it.”
“Rhowyn, the other night, when you absorbed my shadows...” I started but was cut off by hands clapping together once.
“Alright, is everybody ready for this?” Baer's chipper mood sank mine further. It had taken so much from me to try to tell her, but now I couldn't. Not with so little privacy. This was something that needed to be addressed between just us, but we hadn’t stopped moving since I’d found out what she was to me. Pulling my gaze from hers, I noted that everyone was now present and waiting, completely oblivious to my turmoil. Except for Arryn.
His eyes asked me the question, and I just shook my head in response. No, I hadn't had the chance to tell her yet. I had been too much of a coward, and then we'd lost the moment.
Information of this sort had to come from me and me alone. She needed to process it somewhere that she was alone. I wouldn't force anything on her, and instead let her decide if she wanted this bond with me or not. For me, she was it, but it didn't have to be that way with her.
“Alright, everyone knows the plan?” Arryn checked with us. Jude and his son stood off to the side, staying behind for this mission. It would give them a chance to catch up without us hovering around.
I watched as Rhowyn pulled on a mask, hiding the hurt she had bared to me only moments ago. “Ready as I'll ever be.”
The guys eyed me with confusion, obviously feeling her hurt through the bond but not sure of the reason. Instead of giving them the chance to question either of us, I took charge. “Everyone touching?” Once I saw that they were, I whisked us away without a second thought and without warning. Sure, they probably weren't happy about that, but I didn't care. If it distracted them, then I had accomplished my goal.
I carried us further than I had ever carried this many people, pushing myself to get us as close as I could before I had to set us down. I couldn't afford to burn through my magic this quickly. We still had to return, and so, when I felt my energy reserves reach halfway, I deposited everyone. The others stumbled at the haphazard landing, but I made sure to hold Rhowyn's arm to keep her standing upright. When I was sure she had her feet under her, I let go, turning away from her and the others to lead the way.
“What the hell, Raven?” Callum grumbled behind me. I didn't care. He was always surly. He didn't necessarily need a reason.
Arryn approached me on my right. “Is there a reason you took us further than we had agreed upon?”
“I had the power to do so, so I did,” I answered him succinctly. Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I could tell he didn't believe me. Already, my True Mate was increasing my powers, allowing me to transport them so much further, but that wasn’t a conversation for here or now.
“Come on, this way. It shouldn't be but a thirty-minute hike from here until we reach the edges of their territory,” I told the others, not waiting for them. I pushed us hard, turning the normally hour-long hike into a thirty minute one, only pausing when I heard Rhowyn puffing for breath behind me. I was eager to get this over with. The less time we had to spend with the Ravens, the better.
Slowing to a walk, I let the others catch up. Stopping at the edge of the forest, I eyed the trees warily. “Why'd we stop?” Lennox asked, more out of breath than Rhowyn. His soft life hadn't prepared him for such conditions it seemed.
Turning to him, I jerked my chin in the direction of the trees. “We're here.”
“I don't see anything,” he complained, turning to try to take in more of the forest and coming up empty.
“You wouldn't. Not unless they wanted you to see them, but I can sense them there. They've been watching our approach for a while now.” Giving him a menacing grin, I added, “There's a reason we're called Ravens.”
He nodded with a slight wiggle of his Adam's apple, a quick swallow of fear, indicating he had been sufficiently cowed by that barely concealed threat. Turning to the others, I instructed, “Wait here.” Satisfied that they would, I walked forward, halting just at the edge of the shadows of the trees to wait. I stood there for what felt like a lifetime as they weighed and judged me. Their perusal slid across my skin like slime, and I had to fight down the urge to shudder off the feeling.
Apparently convinced I wasn’t there to cause trouble, a barely passable man approached wearing a loincloth, his skin tattooed and marked in the language of our people. The blue and white lines painting his life and deeds across his skin for all to see. This man was their head warrior, though the Chieftain would be his female counterpart. It was his duty to greet and judge visitors for their worthiness to continue forward.
I held my ground as he approached, not speaking until he spoke to me. I let him set the pace of this meeting, calling on the years of practice of being an assassin not to act at the threat he so clearly represented to me and mine. I refused to move even when his gaze took in Rhowyn and her men, still waiting where I had instructed them. Finally, he turned his attention back to me. “Why have you brought these outsiders here to this sacred place?”
“I have brought the future Queen of Avalon here so that she may drink from the pure waters and accept the mantle that Avalonia has requested of her,” I answered succinctly.
“Is that so?” he asked, still wary of me. I didn't deign to answer him. It was a rhetorical question, meant to try and provoke me.
“Come here, future Queen, so that I may assess the truthfulness of this statement,” the warrior commanded my mate. He watched her approach confidently, though I could smell her wariness. Smart. They'd respect that from her. When she was standing before the warrior, he leaned forward and sniffed her. A long inhale that had her closing her eyes and bracing herself, but she didn't flinch. She held her ground as he leaned back, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.
“What is this?” he asked me, clearly wanting my confirmation. Unable to deny it, I simply nodded.
“I will allow passage for you and your mate Queen, but the others must wait here,” he said, turning to leave.
“Wait, what?” Rhowyn called after him.
He paused, turning to look over his shoulder to look at us. “You have not told her?”
“Told me what?” Rhowyn demanded, turning to face me for the first time since the living room.
Shit! This was not how I wanted her to find out . I saw the mirth on the warrior's face. He'd known the truth before he'd spoken and knew now what I was facing. Unable to hide it any longer, I closed my eyes, incapable of facing her reaction. “Rhowyn, you're my True Mate.”