Chapter 8
CHAPTER
EIGHT
Mindy
This past week has flown by, that’s for sure.
Between work, checking on the house that’s across the road from Jolie’s that I fell in love with at first sight, going to my first therapist appointment where I relived the worst night of my life, and now, today, the doctor appointment, I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
“I still can’t believe we bought a house,” I murmur as we wait for my name to be called.
True to his word, Cruz went with me to the therapy appointment, and even ended up coming into the room when I asked my therapist to get him.
He held me while I cried as I replayed the events from that night.
While I still have a lot of gaps in my memory of the actual assault, thank God, I remember every detail from the exam at the hospital.
I still feel dirty, raw, exposed, and my poor skin is starting to show the aftermath of my multiple daily showers.
Apparently, there is a thing such as over-exfoliating.
I’ve used my scrubbing wash several times, trying to get the first layer of skin that he touched, to shed.
“I think I remember hearing Brock say that you and Jolie always wanted to live by one another,” he says. “This is perfect, plus it’s move-in ready, for the most part.”
“Ugh, I hate moving, Cruz. Like, it’s the worst thing in the world to me,” I tell him. Packing and unpacking is not what I’d call having a good time.
“We’re gonna do it together. Besides, I have a lot of furniture and shit in my storage unit that wouldn’t fit in the duplex since I had a four-bedroom house before.”
“Why did you have something so big?” I ask.
“Because my family tended to visit rather frequently. With Serena doing her travel nurse gig, whenever she was between contracts, she stayed with me. Toss in Sadie coming to see me regularly, and I had to have the room. We’ll go through both of our places, combine what we have to, replace what we want to, and either sell or donate the rest, Mindy.
This is gonna be our home, and since we have a few months left on our leases, it’s not like we have to clear everything out right away. ”
“You make a good point,” I muse. “I don’t want to keep my couch.
Hell, I don’t want to sell or donate it either, to be honest.” It needs to be burned.
I don’t want anyone else to have something that carries such bad memories for me.
It feels like a bad omen and I refuse to saddle or jinx anyone else with that kind of juju.
“What do you want to do with it?” he asks.
“Burn it,” I admit.
“Then we’ll plan a bonfire. Want s’mores?” he questions.
I giggle because it’s kind of absurd to think that the piece of furniture where a lot of the things Clark did is going up in flames, adding something as innocent as s’mores makes it a little easier to think about.
“What’s a fire without those?” I tease.
My name is called and we stand to follow the nurse. She has me get on the scale and when I’m done, she hands me a cup and says, “We need a urine specimen.”
Furiously blushing since Cruz is standing next to me, I head into the bathroom to pee in a cup.
I have no clue why they don’t make it easier for women to do that, either!
I mean, it’s maybe the size of a Dixie cup and then, we have to be canted somewhat sideways in order to catch our flow.
I usually end up peeing on my hand, which grosses me out.
Still, once I’m done and it’s capped, I put it in the little silver door then spend several minutes thoroughly washing my hands.
Satisfied they’re once again clean, I open the bathroom door and spot Cruz standing in a doorway.
“You’re in this room, kitten,” he says, motioning me to him. When I get inside, he grins as he hands me a gown and says, “The nurse said to undress from the waist down and put this on. I’ll step outside to give you some privacy.”
Taking the bull by the horns, I say, “Just turn your back, Cruz. There’s no need for you to leave the room. We’re getting married in two days, remember?”
He chuckles and turns around and I quickly get undressed and slip the gown on. At least it’s not one of those shitty paper ones like the hospital has. Maybe it’s because the doctors feel as though the least they could do is make their patients comfortable, considering where they’re examining us.
“Okay, you can turn around,” I say once I’m sitting on the edge of the table, my bare ass against that horrible wax paper.
“It’s been a busy week, how are you holding up?” he asks me.
I shrug because every day has been a bit of a rollercoaster emotionally.
“As best as I can,” I finally admit. “I did reach out to my therapist and she suggested starting a journal. It doesn’t have to be long-winded or anything like that, but she wants me to jot down how I’m feeling and whether or not anything triggers me, so we can work on those things. ”
“You know I’m available to listen as well,” he says.
“I’m a judgment-free zone where you’re concerned, Mindy.
There’s not one damn thing you can say to me that’ll freak me out or even disgust me, I promise.
” Once again, I feel my eyes welling with tears.
This man’s like glue, once he cares about someone and determines they have his loyalty, he sticks.
The breath I wasn’t aware I was holding releases and I feel my shoulders relax.
Where he’s concerned, I have so many conflicting emotions and thoughts and knowing he’s willing to hear me vent my spleen, as Jolie says, has me recognizing that he’s one helluva man.
A man, that for whatever reason, has hitched himself to me for better or for worse.
Sadly, up to now, it’s all been for the worst. And he’s shown no actions toward leaving.
Cruz is such an enigma that he should be the poster boy for what men should be like.
“Okay. Thank you, Cruz. I’ll probably take you up on it,” I reply, giving him a wobbly smile. “We’re still going shopping after this appointment, right? I know we don’t have long because you have to work, though, so if we have to put it off, it’s okay.”
“We’re still going, kitten.”
“Why do you call me kitten?” I question.
“Because for a little bit, you sheathed your claws, but I’m seeing the woman I met all those months ago peeking through,” he says.
“You’re still you, Mindy. Maybe a bit battered, but honestly, you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known, except for Sadie.
While it’s not my story to tell, there’s a reason she chose the field she did.
In fact, I know she’d be willing to talk to you as well if you want. ”
I nod. “I think I’d like that, to be honest. I love Jolie, she’s my ride or die best friend, but in this area, she’s flying blind.
Nothing like this ever even remotely happened to either one of us, or even any of our other friends.
She’s great to cry on, though, but then she ends up joining in.
We’re hot messes right now, two pregnant women who got that way by two very different avenues. ”
“We’re going to love this baby, Mindy, because she’s a part of you,” he replies.
“You want a girl?” I ask.
“I want a healthy baby and a healthy wife,” he asserts just as the doctor and a nurse walk in.
I immediately shuffle backward on the table since the doctor who entered is a man, my entire body starts shivering with anxiety. Cruz immediately realizes the issue and says, “I’m sorry, but she’s going to need a female doctor, sir. She was assaulted not that long ago. Is that possible?”
The doctor steps back, earning my everlasting gratitude as he replies, “Normally, a patient has to see every doctor in the practice, however, we’ve had others who were in the same position, so we have contingency plans in place.
” Then he looks at me and says, “Let me get one of our female doctors, Ms. Ferguson.”
“Thank you.”
My voice is small and weak sounding and I hate it, but I can’t help it right now.
The fear inside of me has a grip that’s so tight it’s hard to breathe.
I can feel myself getting lightheaded and then, Cruz is there, holding my hand, the warmth invading the terror that’s wrapped around me right now.
“Breathe, kitten. That’s right, inhale with me, now hold it. Okay, exhale. Now, let’s do it again.”
Over and over, he talks me through my panic attack. I’ve had plenty of them at this point, but now that I’m pregnant, I usually suffer through the emotional turmoil, unwilling to take the medication I was prescribed because I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks that may hurt my baby.
“I’m having a baby,” I whisper as we drive toward the furniture store.
I’m looking at the sonogram picture where a tiny bean is sitting.
There are no discernible features yet, but the doctor who came in, Dr. Takagi, assured us both that everything’s on track.
I have several prescriptions that they sent into my pharmacy, including one for any future panic attacks that she told me would not hurt the baby.
“We’re having a baby,” Cruz asserts, his hand tightening on mine.
I smile. It’s a small one because I’m still a bit rattled by the first doctor who came into the room, but it’s there.
Because his words further cemented the fact that he’s in this with me, for better or worse. Shaking my head, I ask, “What, exactly, are we buying today?”
“A new bedroom suite.” At my look, he continues, saying, “This is our new start, Mindy, and that means we’re getting something that we picked out.
We can use our existing bedroom sets for the other bedrooms because I’m positive once we announce the pregnancy that my mother and likely Sadie will be frequent visitors, plus, of course, whenever Serena is between contracts, she’ll be there as well. ”
“It’s a good thing we have a mother-in-law suite then, huh?” I ask as he pulls into the parking lot and parks his truck.
One of the bonuses of the farmhouse we bought is that in the back, there’s a tiny home of sorts that the previous owners built when they had to move in an aging parent.
It’s a fully functional house, complete with a kitchen, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a living room.
A covered walkway that has discreet railing leads to the back doors of the farmhouse.
“Who’s going to stay in it?” I ask as he helps me out of the truck. With my hand clasped in his, we walk into the store and head to the bedroom section.
“Honestly? I suspect once my parents know you’re expecting that they’ll be frequent visitors, or they’ll want to move here. If they wanted to do that, would you object to them taking that over?” he asks.
I start giggling because he’s told me a little bit about his mom and knowing she would be across the road from the two women that Jolie and I secretly call the Chaos Queens, life as we know it would obviously change.
“I wouldn’t at all, but can the town handle Maria, Josephine, and your mom?” I ask.
“Probably not,” he muses. “Still, they’re getting older now and I know my sisters and I would feel better knowing they were with family.”
“I’m fine with it, Cruz. What do you think about this one?” I question as I stare at what has to be a California king. “I like the headboard, and it’s neat that the footboard has storage space. Plus, having storage underneath means that we won’t have things disappearing under the bed.”
He chuckles as he looks at everything I’ve pointed out. “Damn big bed,” he replies, smiling down at me.
“I sleep like a starfish most nights,” I admit.
Okay, I used to sleep like that. Now I sleep in a fetal position, curled into myself with my back against a wall.
“Then this would be perfect since I’m not exactly a small man,” he says. “Plus, I like the color, it’ll go with anything.”
“Yes, let’s go get a clerk so we can get it ordered,” I reply.