17. Killian
Killian
Before
“Are you sure you don’t want me to help?” asks the assistant as she leads me into a discreet room at the back of the store. She’s already gone through the process, but when she sets down the equipment, she doesn’t leave.
“The insertion can be quite tricky if you’re not fully prepared.” Biting her lip, she holds my gaze, and I know she’s fighting the urge to look at my crotch. “And we do want to get it right first time, don’t we?”
“I appreciate the offer, but I’ve had years of experience handling this equipment.”
She twirls a lock of blond hair around her finger. “You’re sure? It wouldn’t be any trouble.”
I glance at her name badge. “Can I be honest with you, Amber?”
Amber nods.
“My woman is a mad, psycho bitch, and when she asks how the mold was made, she’s going to want to know who was handling the goods. It won’t end well for either of us if I have to tell her it wasn’t a solo expedition.”
Amber purses her lips. She’s not going to be easily dissuaded so I take hold of her shoulders and direct her towards the door. “If you’re ever in Las Vegas, you should look up my twin brothers. I think it would take two of them to handle you. Now off you go. I’ll let you know when I’m done.”
Once I’m alone, there’s only one woman on my mind.
I think of all the ways my gift is going to pleasure my Kitty when I can't be with her. She can take it on her travels as a reminder that no man is ever going to measure up to me. The thought that someone might try doesn’t help me get in the mood, so I think of all the ways I want to fuck Katarina Barkov before her wedding day.
I sit bolt upright in bed, Glock pulled from beneath my pillow as I listen for the sound that woke me up. The security I’ve installed in my Chicago apartment rivals anything the Russians have, but no system is infallible.
I strain my ears, but damn it, I can’t hear anything above the clamoring of my heart and the ringing that’s setting my teeth on edge.
I snap my head towards the glow of my cell phone on the nightstand.
I’m an idiot. It’s the phone that woke me up.
The dread of losing Katarina is fucking with my head.
Even so, my pulse doesn’t slow. Someone’s calling me in the middle of the night, which means it’s not going to be good news.
I’m trying to figure out what time it is in Vegas when my bleary eyes register the name on the screen.
Kitty never calls, and even texts are limited to only when necessary.
At this time of night, whatever it is can’t wait…
As I lunge for my phone, I reach too far and almost tumble out of bed. I’m precariously balanced with one hand planted on the floor as I connect the call.
“Kitty? What’s wrong?”
There’s silence on the other end of the line. Fuck. I’m supposed to be better than this. I should have waited for her to speak. It might not be Katarina. What if I’ve just given us both away?
Could the Bratva pick up my accent from one short greeting? Who am I trying to kid? They probably have the technology to recognize a target from the sound of their fucking breaths, and I’m breathing heavily.
I hold my next inhale and wait. The next hitched breath isn’t mine.
“Shit,” I say as I expel a lungful of stale air. I can recognize Katarina’s stifled sobs from the rare times she’s allowed herself to cry. I bet I’m the only one who can. I pull myself back onto the bed. “Kitty, tell me what’s happened. Tell me what you need me to do. Who I need to kill.”
“If there’s any killing to be done, I want to do it,” she says, her words wet with tears. “I’m being attacked from all sides and I’m sick of not being able to fight back.” Her jaw is clenched in frustration when she adds, “I could murder someone right now. Anyone.”
I try not to smile. Judging by the tone of her tirade, it’s safe to assume she’s not in immediate danger. She wants to vent and I’m the one she’s turned to. I’m her person.
“Do you want me to make a list, lovely?”
“I already have one,” she says. “One that’s grown very long over the years.”
“If Vasili’s on it,” I say, and I know he will be, “remember, he’s mine.”
“Not if I get to him first. Don’t make me fight you over this, Shorty.”
It reminds me of our first ever argument over who killed Oleg. She won, but only because I let her. Maybe I’d let her do it again. Then again, maybe I wouldn’t.
“He and Grigor have been on my list from the start,” she continues, “and–”
“Who’s Grigor?” I ask, cutting in before she can reel off more names. If there’s another guy sharing top billing with Vasili, I need to know why.
There’s a second or two before she decides to tell me. “Grigor Kruglov, my training camp commander. And before you jump in again, I don’t need you fighting all my battles. Forget the name.”
“Sure, I will.”
“Sure, I will is Killian-speak for I’ll ignore everything you’ve just said,” she points out. She’s not wrong. “I sometimes wonder why I tolerate you.”
“Please, Katarina, you more than tolerate me.” I more than tolerate her too. “Moving on,” I say quickly, not ready for that conversation. “Who else is on your list?”
“Eric Peterson, on the basis that anything that crawls from under a rock Vasili picks up is a guaranteed cockroach. I imagine he’s friends with plenty of other men who could also make my list. The ones my sestras were being trained to please.
” She huffs when she adds, “And now I have to add Grace Hamel’s name and it’s all Duke’s fault. ”
I’m still too sleepy to decide if now is the time to come clean and tell her what I know about Grace. I play for time. “What’s he done?”
“Ignored my threats. I’ve seriously lost my touch,” she complains. “All he had to do was keep his dick in his pants a little while longer, but when I went into his office today to pick up your package, she was there.”
My thickening cock threatens to derail our conversation. I’d told her to expect a delivery today, and I want to know if she’s used it yet. It was a low blow sending it to Duke’s office, but I wanted the bastard to know Katarina belongs to me, even if he doesn’t get to find out who I am.
I pull myself back into our current conversation.
This is serious. Grace Hamel’s continued presence puts Katarina in danger.
Killing her might be a little extreme, and it certainly wouldn’t go down well with the Moncriefs or the Griffins, but we do need to send a clearer message to Duke that he can’t fuck around right now. Fucking up is my job.
“Interestingly, I’ve seen her before,” Katarina tells me.
“I’d spotted her that day you stalked me outside the restaurant.
She ran away after seeing Duke with me, and he sent Max chasing after her.
It’s more than just an office fling, Killian.
They’re spending all their time locked away in his office. ”
I hear a thump as Katarina adjusts her pillows and tries to get comfortable. It’s me she’s going to want to punch when she finds out what I’ve been keeping to myself.
“You only have to look at them to know there’s something going on,” she continues. “It’s a small miracle Danyl and Andrey didn’t notice too. They were standing right behind me, and if I hadn’t kissed Duke, it could have gotten very messy, very fast.”
“What the fuck?!” I cut in. “Duke kissed you?” Yes, I’m well aware she said she kissed him, but those words were never going to leave my mouth. I pull back the covers and leap out of bed. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”
“No, you’re not. Just like I’m not going to kill Grace.”
I grab my pants. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I am going to punch the bastard.” Katarina goes to respond, but I keep talking. “I’m not going to sit back and let that cunt touch you.”
“And what exactly will you say to him, Killian? Are you going to claim me now? Why don’t you tell my uncle and your father while you’re at it,” she snaps. “Now stop being a durak and get back in bed. I’m the one dealing with it. Not you.”
I drop down heavily on the bed so she can hear I’ve obeyed her. I hate that I don’t have a choice. “What’s your plan?”
“First, I need to find out exactly who I’m dealing with. Duke won’t tell me anything about Grace so I’ve asked my sestra to see what she can dig up. So far, all I know is she’s from Philadelphia and she’s got enough of a backbone to stand up to me.”
“She did?” I’m quietly impressed. Katarina had me on my knees.
Katarina sniffs. “Her hands were shaking, but she made it clear she was staking her claim on Duke.”
“Did your pair of goons overhear the exchange?”
“Grace was subtle. Danyl and Andrey don’t do subtle.”
Even so, I don’t like how close this came to ruining everything. I don’t care what history Duke has with Grace. Being separated from each other is a temporary blip as far as Duke’s concerned. Once Katarina’s been forced into exile, he gets the girl. I fucking don’t.
“I’m worried she might be a gold digger,” Katarina says. When I don’t answer, she adds, “It could explain why she’s so determined to sink her claws into him.”
I doubt it, not when Duke’s entire family are enamored by her.
There’s the tap-tap of Katarina’ long fingernails hitting her cell phone case. “You’re not talking, Shorty, and you always talk. Which means, you’ve either got another woman in your bed or there’s something you don’t want to tell me. Which is it?”
Of the two options, I have to consider which would result in a less painful death. It’s a close call. “There’s no woman getting into my bed or my pants except you, Kitty. You know I’m yours. Never question it.”
“Spill,” Katarina orders.
I’m not sure if she means spill the tea or spill blood. I’m dead either way. “Duke met Grace a year ago according to Rory. It was only a one-night stand, but Grace sneaked into the iceman’s heart. The Moncriefs refer to her as a legend, and they can’t wait to welcome her into the family.”
“Unlike me,” she says so quietly, I’m taken aback. It’s not the explosive response I was expecting. Katarina sounds dejected more than anything when she adds, “I’m not good enough for the Moncriefs of this world. Just the lowlife my uncle deals with.”
“You’re right, you’re not good enough. You’re better than any woman I’ve ever met. By a fucking mile.”
“And yet your family won’t be welcoming me with open arms either.”
“Katarina, I can promise you my dad would love you.”
“Would that be before or after he slits my throat?”
“That’d never happen. I wouldn’t let it.” Would I kill my own father to protect her? There’s a question I never thought I’d ask myself. The answer should be no, but as a vision forms of my father laying a hand on Katarina, my fingers tighten around my imaginary knife.
“It wouldn’t happen because you and I don’t have a future,” she reminds me.
“We never did and we never will: and especially not after you kept quiet about Grace,” Her voice lowers with menace.
“I swear, Killian McConkey, when I see you, you’d better hope I don’t have this mold of your cock in my hand because I’m going to shove it right up your fucking–”
“Are you holding it now, Kitty?” I ask, my voice suddenly husky as every muscle in my body tightens. “Are you stroking it?”
“Strangling it,” she corrects. “So, who do I have to kill for making the mold?”
A stupid grin pinches my cheeks. I like that I can predict some things. “I was in a private room on my own, thinking of you and only you when I got as hard as I am for you right now.”
“Did she make more than one?”
This is a question I wasn’t expecting. “I suppose it’s possible,” I admit. “But only you get the real thing.”
“It’s a nice thought, but you’ll move on. You have to.”
“Unless I kill Vasili. Because sooner or later, I will hunt him down and when I do, you won’t need to hide anymore.”
“But you’ll never be free, Killian. You keep forgetting that.” She doesn’t give me the chance to reply. “Just like you keep forgetting to tell me things. Why didn’t you tell me about Grace?”
“You’d already threatened Duke, and I didn’t think it was relevant.”
“I’m not buying it. Try again.”
I might just be the first man in history to run his fist along his shaft while being interrogated by a Barkov. “Fine. I didn’t want you to panic and bring forward your departure.”
“And why would I do that?”
Jesus. “Because if Vasili found out Duke had a significant other, he might cash in his chips in the US and put his money on a certain South African arsehole.”
Katarina’s silence is even more disturbing than a barrage of questions. My heart is in my throat and my dick starts to soften. I know what’s coming. I just don’t want to hear it.
“I have to leave.”
I jump out of bed again and start pacing, dick back in my boxers. “You see now why I didn’t fucking tell you? You don’t need to do anything hasty, Kitty. You don’t need to do anything. Leave it with me. I’m going to fix this. Grace, the legend, won’t be a problem for much longer.”
“You can’t kill her.”
“Why? Because she’s already on your list?” I remind her. I shake my head. “Neither of us are going to be killing her, but we do have other options.”
“Name one.”
I quickly consider all the possibilities.
We could run away together. But then we’d have both our families hunting us down.
Or I could try to speak to Dad and… No, I can see where that conversation would lead.
Maybe Katarina could tell me where she is once she’s in exile.
Or I could trek to the middle of Siberia and kill Vasili like I keep threatening. Fuck.
“There is no happy ending for us, Killian,” Katarina says when my silence stretches on for too long. “We always knew that, and I’ve been putting this off for too long. My sestra keeps saying I’m pushing my luck, and I think my luck has just run out.”
I rake my fingers through my hair, tugging at the roots. I won’t say goodbye. Not yet. “Please, Kitty. Don’t change your plans yet. It’s only another three weeks until the wedding. I said I’ll fix this and I will.”
“What can you do?”
“You’ll see,” I promise. “Trust me.”