Chapter 14
Theo
Mom’s hugs are still the best, and I instantly melt into her as she wraps me in one when I step out of the car.
I’d opted to drive alone instead of carpooling with Grady and Landon, who had offered me a lift.
I wanted to leave early. I had some stuff I needed to get from my apartment here in town, and also, I was hoping to make it back to Salty’s before Lola’s shift ended.
Not to mention, I just wanted an escape if I needed it.
Being around my entire family for the first time since my drunken accident might be too much for me to handle.
“How are you?” Mom asks as she pulls back and holds my face in her hands. She’s smiling, but worry creases between her eyebrows as she stares up at me. “You look tired.”
“It’s been a rough start to the season,” I tell her. “But I’m fine. I promise.”
“You guys aren’t doing that badly,” Dad says as he walks up beside her.
He’s holding a glass with some kind of clear liquid in it, not his usual holiday beer.
Dad doesn’t drink much, but he has a beer or two on holidays and when watching playoff hockey.
Whatever is in his glass now isn’t beer. “How are the arms?”
Sore. All the time. Every minute of every day. I don’t say that, though. “Can’t complain.”
Won’t complain is the real answer. I’m getting to play pro hockey again, so whatever discomfort that remains from the stupidest mistake of my life isn’t going to get me down.
I smile at him. I stare past my parents at the front porch of Aunt Leah and Uncle Cole’s house.
My cousin Mae, the youngest in our generation who everyone likes to call Mayhem, isn’t in her usual spot during family gatherings, which is bundled up on the porch with a book.
“Where’s Mayhem?”
“Her idol is inside, so she’s gracing us with her presence,” Mom says with a smile.
Right. Eli Casco, a former pro goalie who is pretty much a legend, is Landon, Callan, and Lola’s dad.
Mae plays college hockey as a goalie. She’s even won the Patty Kazmaier Award, which is the equivalent of the Hobey Baker Award.
Dad wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me into the house.
I’m assaulted by two things as soon as he opens the front door—the smell of delicious food and the sound of the chaos that is a Garrison gathering.
The living room to my left is filled with people.
My cousin Shelby and my cousin-in-law Mac are perched on the loveseat arm, holding an iPad.
On the screen is my sister Harlow, who chose to attend a skating event to support a friend who still skates—something Harlow did her whole childhood.
At least that’s the story she insists on telling.
I don’t buy it, but haven’t gotten the truth out of her.
I lean in and wave at the screen, and Harlow waves back.
“Hey!” Mac says, smiling up at me, and Shelby grins too. She’s tanned, which is weird because she’s a redhead and I’ve never seen her tanned before. But she’s back from Mexico, where she’s going to school to be a doctor.
“Looking good, Shel. Mexico must agree with you.”
“Loving it,” she replies and gives me a once-over. “You look good, too.”
“Thanks. I’m managing,” I say.
I survey the rest of the room. Across from them is Conner, who is holding his foster kid Violet in one arm and in his other hand…
a glass of… Coke? He’s talking to my aunt Callie, who is my mom’s older sister.
She’s holding a glass of… water? I glance past them and notice the dining room table has been extended to its fullest and is decorated with Leah’s best china.
But there are no wine bottles on the table.
No wine glasses either, just water glasses. I frown. “Are we Amish suddenly?”
“What?” Dad asks, and I point at his glass.
“Where’s the beer?”
Mom pales so much so quickly that I actually catch it in my peripheral vision. I turn to her. “Not for me. For you guys.”
“We thought…” Mom blinks.
“We thought it was fine to go dry this year. None of us needs the empty calories anyway.” Dad pats his non-existent belly, and my already tenuous mood darkens.
“You guys aren’t helping,” I mutter, and I feel bad because they’re trying to help. But fuck. I sigh. “I need some air.”
“You just got here,” Mom pleads.
“I’m not leaving. I promise,” I reply and head for the door again.
Across the hall from the entrance, Grady and Landon sit on the floor in the den with Randie between them.
Landon’s mom and dad are talking with Uncle Devin by the fireplace.
Tucked into the corner, in a big armchair, is my grandmother. She waves me over.
I want to go outside, but I will never deny Donna Garrison.
She’s not technically my grandmother but she’s always insisted I call her that.
My blood grandmother, my dad’s mom, died from liver failure when I was very young.
My parents took care of her, and I don’t have any specific memories from that time, but I remember the vibe, and it was a very dark time.
“How is my grandson?” Donna asks, and she extends her arms without getting up. She’s not the most agile anymore. She has fairly bad arthritis in her back and her hips. I bend down to accept an embrace from the second-best hugger in the family. “You look so handsome in red.”
I smile and smooth my cardigan when I pull back. “Thanks, Grams. How are you? Where’s Grandpa?”
“Oh, you know Henry,” she waves a hand with a dismissive smile. “Has to help in the kitchen. No one makes stuffing like he does, even when he’s given Leah and Cole the recipe and explicit instructions.”
I smile. “Sounds like him.”
“Such a control freak. He’s lucky he’s cute.” She rolls her big blue eyes, but then her smile softens, and her eyes do too. “Glad you came home, Theo. I missed you this summer.”
“I missed you too. I just… had to deal with things. On my own.”
“You look good. Settled. Are you?” She wants to know. “And if you aren’t, you better tell me.”
“I’m good. I wish the team were doing better.”
“You’ve kicked that losing streak, and you’ve been getting better every game.
You seem to be easing back in well,” she says, because of course, Grams watches every game.
“Your gramps and I want to come to a game in person, but we wanted your approval. I know it can be stressful having family there.”
“You guys can come whenever you want. You’ve got other grandkids there to see, too,” I say. “Don’t wait for my approval.”
She smiles and nods. “We’ll be there for the next home game then.”
I grin. They didn’t see me play live much when I was in Vegas or Quebec because it was too big a trip for them.
It will be cool to have them at a game. I hope I play well.
She cups my cheek and smiles in a way that makes me feel like she’s wrapping me in a hug.
“I learned a little while raising a gaggle of hockey players. And the thing that I know for certain is you’ve earned your spot, Theo.
In that league and in this family. And you didn’t lose it last year.
Not even close. So don’t be too hard on yourself. ”
She grabs my hand and squeezes it. A wave of complicated emotions swamps me, so I just nod and kiss her cheek and then tell her I’m going to get air.
I head across the room, but the sight of Mae talking to Eli Casco has me stopping.
She’s grinning like she’s chatting with the most famous celebrity in the world.
And Eli looks so friendly and at ease, clearly telling some story, Mae is engrossed in.
I think back to Lola suggesting I ask her dad about my performance issues.
Maybe I should? I don’t really like opening up to anyone, but bottling everything up is partially responsible for why I turned to booze, according to the bucket load of therapy I’ve had over the last year.
“Hey,” Grady says, and I didn’t realize he’d walked up behind me. “You good?”
“Yeah. Sure,” I say and look at him. “Why isn’t anyone drinking?”
Grady blinks and then levels me with a stare that says “duh.” I sigh. “I don’t think it helps, but Aunt Rose really thought it was the best idea.”
I try to calm down at that. Mom doesn’t want to make this worse for me, and if she needs the extra reinforcement of no alcohol around, then I should just let her have it.
“It doesn’t. It just makes it feel like there’s an elephant in the room, and you guys don’t trust me.
But it’s fine. I’ll earn the trust back. ”
“We trust you, Theo,” Grady assures me and folds his massive, freckled arms. “I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked on and off the ice.”
I nod. My eye catches Mae as she says something to Mr. Casco. He laughs, and she beams. “Mayhem is going to talk his ear off.”
Grady grins. “I think she’s happier than I am that Landon and I got serious.”
“Shut up.” I laugh. He smiles at me. “Have the press calmed down?”
“Not really. But Landon and I can handle it.” Grady shrugs and then asks, “What about you? You seem to be getting a lot of grief from other players around the league. Like, why the fuck was Finch trying to murder you? That’s not his normal M.O. with anyone.”
“Drunk Theo must have pissed him off,” I lie because although Grady is gay and would be a great ally for Xavier and Ryder, it is so not my place to tell him. And Xavier made it clear he’s not telling anyone because of his dad. “There may be way more of that in the league. Only time will tell.”
Mayhem finally leaves Eli Casco’s side. I clear my throat. “Can you introduce me to your father-in-law?”
Grady makes a face, essentially trying to cover up a smile, and argues, “Not my father-in-law, but yeah.”
He puts a hand on my shoulder and leads me the short distance across the crowded room to Eli Casco. “Mr. Casco.”