Chapter 16
I step into the house and close the door behind me. This weekend has been exhausting, but also more fun than I’ve had in a long time. It’s been nice to spend time with Avery, like we used to when we were kids. I love how low maintenance our friendship is. Some weeks we talk every day, sometimes we go weeks without talking, just sending Tiktoks back and forth. But when we do finally connect, it’s like we don’t skip a beat. We just fall into our regular groove like no time has passed. It’s nice to have a friend close by. This is the friendship I was missing in the city.
Ugh, Oklahoma City. I’ve sat down a few times this week and scrolled through apartments, but it’s been unsuccessful. The only places that I can afford to live are in the more sketchy parts of town. I may love living in the city, but my small-town girl heart knows that feeling safe is a priority of mine. I can’t live just anywhere, especially if I’m living alone. Wherever I go next has to be just right.
The last few days, I’ve stayed busy moving from room to room decluttering and sorting, all while in between working, of course. Piles of yard sale items, and the clothes that I still never finished digging through, have officially taken the guest bedroom over. I’m sure the city workers are already tired of the amount of trash I piled in and all around my trash can. I just feel like I’m drowning in stuff. It’s almost like I’m paralyzed by the amount of crap around me. But Avery and I decided to go through with the garage sale next week, and that means I have to get things ready in the next 6 days. My only choice is to get to work.
I work for hours and before I know it, I’m out of energy. While the guest room is still full, it’s at least organized and ready for our sale. I slowly drag myself to the living room and collapse onto the couch. The living room is basically empty of clutter and ready to paint, and that scene practically gives me whiplash after spending the day in the guest room. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like Hazel’s house anymore. It feels like a blank slate. I thought this was exactly what I needed and I know it’s what I need in order to move forward with my plan. However, for the first time since I’ve started this project, it really hits me she’s gone.
I hate that she isn’t here. She won’t see me get married, if I ever do. She won’t meet my babies or ever hold them. There are so many memories I wanted to make with her, and I hate that we ran out of time. I hate that I’m blaming myself for not being here and I hate that I can’t get that time back.
I look around again. This isn’t even her house anymore. It’s an empty, neutral shell of what once was my safe place. This is the place where I felt loved and wanted. Where I knew there would be cookies waiting for me after school and a puzzle for us to work on while we watched Wheel of Fortune and Golden Girls. This house is more ingrained into my soul and more a part of me than I had ever realized it was. With this realization, I finally break and have the cry I’ve been needing. The cry I expected at the funeral. This is the cry I needed when I stuck out like a sore thumb with my city friends and the cry I needed when Elliott and I split up. This is the cry I thought I got last night at the concert. In reality, last night was just when I broke the seal.
Every shitty thing that’s happened in the past week has been resting on my shoulders, but now the dam is open. I don’t see it stopping soon. The only thing left to do is lay down on the couch, cover up with a blanket, and cry myself to sleep.
What feels like hours later, I wake up to the sound of knocking. I open my eyes and glare at the door, trying to will it to become see through so I can tell who is standing on the other side.
As if the visitor reads my mind, they call out “Tyler? Are you in there?”
The voice is vaguely familiar. Andrew? Why would he be here?
“Be right there!” I yell out before rolling myself off the couch. I pause in front of the mirror hanging on the wall and assess myself. My eyes are still a little red, but I’ve definitely seen worse. I can only imagine how bad they were before my nap.
I stand on my tiptoes to check the peephole, and there stands Andrew with a pizza box and a six-pack of beer in hand.
“Hey.” I say, opening the door, eyeing him suspiciously. “What’s up?”
“I just went to grab some pizza and well…have you eaten yet?” He asks, almost sounding nervous.
“I have not.” The savory scent of the pizza meets my nose and my stomach growls audibly.
“Sounds like I was just in time.” He says with a grin, pushing past me into the house.
“Sure, come on in.” I say, following his lead to take a seat on the living room floor.
By the time I sit next to him, he already has the pizza box open.
“Beer?”
“Uh.. sure.”
He opens a bottle for me and passes it over before handing me a slice of pizza on a napkin.
“Thank you.” I say with a crooked smile.
He takes a drink of his beer and then leans his back on the couch while he takes in the room. “This looks a lot different from when I was last here.”
I scrunch my nose. “When were you here?”
“When I removed your pet snake.”
“Oh, yeah.” I say, my face turning red. “For about half a second, I was concerned that you’ve been sneaking into my house when I’m sleeping.”
“No, I only do that when you aren’t here.”
I roll my eyes, and we eat in silence for a few moments. “What’s up with the impromptu dinner?”
He shrugs, taking another bite. “I don’t know. I’m tired of eating alone every night. It’s nice to be around another human every so often. Is this okay? I guess it was pretty forward of me.”
My stomach flutters. I think I might like ‘forward’. It’s more than okay. I really like him being here, and the more time I spend with him, the more time I crave our next encounter. I shake my head, trying to clear those thoughts. Surely, he is only interested in friendship. He and I are going back to separate lives soon. There’s no point in starting something that is just going to fall apart in a week or more.
“So, tell me about your ex,” Andrew says, turning towards me, looking genuinely interested.
I sigh. “I’m not sure where there is to tell.” I say before taking a bite of my pizza.
“Well, it sounds like the breakup was pretty abrupt. What happened?”
“Basically? He and I had been together for three years. We lived together, and somehow, over that time, he decided that he suddenly has no desire to get married or have kids.” I shrug.
“And you do?” Andrew asks with a raised brow.
“Yeah. At least some day.” I pause for a second to ponder on my life. “In hindsight, I think I knew for a long time that he wasn’t really the one. We were kind of just living separate lives in the same house there at the end. Unbeknownst to me, while I was dreaming of a family, he was more focused on his Tesla and his golf game.” I say, shaking my head.
“His loss.” Andrew says with a smirk, before taking another sip of his beer. “So, what’s next over here?” He adds.
“Huh?” I ask, puzzled by his question.
He waves a hand around the room. “What are you planning to do to the house next?”
“Oh.” I laugh nervously. Why am I so freaking awkward? “I think I’m about ready to paint.”
“What about this amazing carpet?” He asks with a raised brow.
I scoff. “Do you mean to tell me you have a problem with shag carpeting?”
He takes a bite of his pizza and laughs. “No, not at all.”
I frown. “I’d love to rip it out, but I know nothing about putting new carpet down.”
He stands up and wipes some pizza grease on his jeans. “I’m willing to bet there is hardwood under this carpet. Want me to look?”
“Um, sure!” I agree excitedly. “You could probably eat first.”
“Eh, it’ll just take a minute.” He says with a shrug. Leaving his pizza crust resting in the open pizza box, he opens the hall closet. “Will you come hold this flashlight for me?” he asks.
“I don’t know. It seems that I still have some PTSD from being my dad’s flashlight holder, so just try to be nice to me.” I joke.
He rolls his eyes and hands me the phone. “I’ll try, Princess.” He says with a roll of his eyes.
Seconds later, I watch him peel back a corner of the carpet. He turns to smile at me. “Bingo! Come check this out.”
I lean around his body to examine the exposed hardwood floor, illuminated by the light of his phone flashlight. “It’s beautiful.” I whisper.
“Now, that’s not to say it’ll be like that throughout the entire house.” He warns me as he stands back up and turns to face me. “You won’t really know until you pull it all up. I can come over and help you tomorrow if you want me to.”
I nod. “Okay…” is all I can get out before it happens.
I couldn’t tell you who made the first move; who kissed who? Hell, we might have actually both moved at once. It’s all a blur in the moment, but what I know is that when our mouths crash together, I feel electricity that I’ve never felt before. It starts off softly, but neither of us pulls back. Slowly, he grabs his hand around the back of my neck and laces his fingers through my hair, tenderly pulling me closer to his body. We kiss as though we’ve been doing this for years. We kiss like he knows my mouth and I know his. The familiarity of it all is astounding. Once we finally come up for air, I take one step back and smile at him sheepishly.
“So.” He says, breaking the awkward silence. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”
“Yeah, sure. That would be great.” I say with a nod, still trying to wrap my head around what had just happened.
And with that, he’s gone, leaving me standing in the middle of my living room dazed and confused and anxiously awaiting tomorrow.
Sunday morning, I wake up with my head spinning from the night before. I lay in my bed and think back to Andrew in my house, sitting on the floor next to me eating pizza. I think of the kiss and the awkwardness that followed, and that he’s coming back today.
I climb out of bed and march to the kitchen to start the coffeepot. While my coffee is brewing, I stand in front of my closet and carefully choose my outfit for today. Obviously, I need something I can get dirty, but also; I want to look cute. Eventually, I settle on a pair of skinny jeans and a mustard yellow t-shirt. I put my hair up into a ponytail that is supposed to look effortless, but in reality I have to put it up and take it down a few times to get it exactly right. I put on a light coat of makeup and shiny pink lip gloss before standing in front of the mirror to assess myself. It’s probably silly to get all dolled up to do work on the house, but I’m working on the house with a cute boy. One that I have to admit that I like. One that happens to be a great kisser.
I sit down with my cup of coffee, just as I hear movement coming from the house next door. I peek through the window just in time to see Andrew climbing out of the bed of his truck. He looks at my house and catches me watching him and gives me a small wave.
Busted.
I wave back and then make my way to my porch, coffee in hand. “Morning.” I say to him with a smile.
“Hey. I was just getting the bed of my truck emptied so we can fill it with your carpet. I can take it to the dump tomorrow.”
“Oh.” I look at the truck nervously. I hadn’t thought about what to do with the carpet after pulling it out. “Thank you. It never crossed my mind that I would have to throw all of that away. I guess it won’t fit in my trash can?”
Andrew chuckles and shakes his head. “No worries. I have some things around here that I need to take anyway. You ready to get to work?”
“Let’s do it.”
Hours later, Andrew and I plop down on the couch in exhaustion and survey our handiwork. Every piece of carpet has been drug out of the house and piled in the back of Andrews’ truck. The floor is swept and gorgeous hardwood floors can be seen throughout the house.
Andrew stretches his arms over his head and yawns. “You got lucky. I can’t believe this floor is in such good shape.” He says as he turns to me. “Most places have an old floor heater that’s been covered in plywood or water damage. Honestly, I don’t think you even need to clear coat it. Just mop the floor and move on.”
“It looks so much better in here already.”
“It really does.” He agrees. “I will never understand people that cover gorgeous floors like this.”
“Me neither.” I shake my head. “Thank you for your help today. There’s no chance this would have happened without you.” I pause, suddenly feeling shy again. “Can I make you dinner tonight? Return the favor from last night?”
“You don’t have to do that.” He stands and stretches again, taking a drink of his bottle of water.
“I know, but I want to.” I smile. And it’s true. I want to return the favor, but also I want to spend more time with him. “Do you like chicken fajitas?”
“I’ll never turn down Mexican food.”
“Be here at 6:30 then.”
“It’s a date.” He says with a smile.