Chapter 25
Chapter
Twenty-Five
Whitney
Riding in a fire truck in a small town Christmas parade was something I’d never imagined happening to me, but as Rob helps me down out of the engine, I’m so overcome by the holiday spirit, I want to throw my arms around him and kiss him like we’re under the mistletoe.
I don’t, of course. There are a ton of people watching. But I want to.
“The next part is boring,” he tells me once my boots hit the ground. “Just making sure everybody leaves their stuff in a way that doesn’t block other people before they walk over to the fair, and then I usually park the engine behind the cruiser blocking off the street because it looks festive. You should go get us some snickerdoodles and then find my family. I’ll meet up with them as soon as I can.”
It feels strange to walk away from him without a goodbye kiss, or at least a touch, and as I make my way through the crowd in search of the renowned snickerdoodles, I remind myself I have to get used to it. I’m not going to have him in my life for very much longer.
Even surrounded by the community’s revelry, I suddenly feel sad and a little empty. I’m not sure I’ve ever dated—or whatever I’m calling it—a man like Rob before. He makes me laugh and when I’m with him, I relax, but he doesn’t do it at the expense of what’s important to me, like my job.
I wonder if we’d met under difference circumstances, if we’d have taken the time to get to know each other. Not that it matters, because if I’d run into him in the city, I might not even have noticed him. I’m in a strange place here in Charming Lake. I’m working, and yet it’s not at all like my usual job.
Either way, it’s depressing, so when I get to the front of the snickerdoodle line, I buy four of the snickerdoodles, which she puts in a tiny paper bag for me because I want to wait and enjoy them with Rob. For some reason, I think he’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t get to see my reaction to the first bite.
When I join the Byrne family, Mel and Elsa are in the middle of begging to go sledding. Sam, of course, wants to go just because his cousins want to. And when they’re all told to wait for Uncle Rob because he loves to take them sledding, I bite my lip to keep from laughing.
When Donovan turns and sees me, he smiles. “That’s a very festive sweater. Not your usual style, but I like it.”
“It makes Rob happy,” I say, and when my boss’s eyebrows shoot for his hairline, I realize I’ve made a huge mistake. “He tricked me into wearing it, believe it or not.”
“Oh, I’m married to his sister. Trust me, I believe it,” he replies in a voice so warm with affection, it makes my heart ache.
“What have you got there?” he asks, nodding toward the paper bag I’m holding.
I clutch it to my chest. “Nothing.”
“Are those Mrs. Johnson’s snickerdoodles?” His eyes narrow. “How much do you want for them?”
“They’re not for sale.”
He laughs. “Come on, Whitney. Everything’s for sale.”
“They’re for Rob.” Usually I’d be confident my boss isn’t the kind of jerk who’d use his power over my income to steal cookies from me, but Rob did warn me people can get rowdy when it comes to the snickerdoodles.
The corners of his lips twitch and he leans close so he can lower his voice. “I have three in a bag in my pocket, for me and Natalie and Sam.”
I also lower my voice. “You miscalculated, then, because Natalie is going to take that bag into the bathroom, lock the door, and eat all three.”
His laughter draws the attention of everybody else, including Rob, who’s just appeared at my side. “What’s funny?”
“I was trying to buy Whitney’s snickerdoodles,” Donovan says before I can answer. “But she said they’re for you, so I guess I can’t afford them.”
A look passes between the two men that I can’t quite decipher, and I know I’m missing some subtext in what Donovan said. But I’m distracted from worrying about how much Natalie has told my boss by Sam jumping up and down.
“I want to go on the sleds!”
“You were volunteered, by the way,” I tell Rob, grateful for the subject change.
“Actually, I think I’ll take the kids over,” Donovan says. “You two did all the work for the fair. You should get to enjoy it.”
Another pointed look passes between the men, and then Donovan gathers up Sam and tells the rest of the family they’re heading for the sled runs.
Rob tucks his hand under my arm and subtly steers me away from the family before we can get sucked into the excitement. Because of the crowd, I’m a little turned around and I don’t realize where we’re heading until I see the General Store in front of us. Once we’ve gotten our coffees, Rob guides us to some hay bales that have been placed around town for people to sit on.
“Another new experience,” I tell him as I make myself comfortable. “I’ll have to thank your sister for the jeans because I don’t think this straw would work with leggings.”
“A bit prickly, I’d imagine.” He takes the paper bag and peeks inside before giving me that heart-stopping grin. “ Four ? Did you have to fight anybody?”
“I’m not going to answer that.”
He laughs and pulls out a snickerdoodle, handing it to me. “Did you try one yet?”
“No, I wanted to wait for you.”
I’m rewarded for my restraint with a warm smile so potent my body reacts as though he’s caressed my cheek. “Trust me, they’re worth waiting for.”
Because I know he won’t eat his own cookies until he’s seen me taste mine, I take a big bite of the snickerdoodle. When I close my eyes with a deep moan of appreciation, I’m not exaggerating.
“I told you!” He took his cookie out of the bag and devoured it in two bites.
“If I’d known they were this good, I would have hid behind a building and eaten all four.”
He laughs, taking the other two cookies out of the bag and handing me one. “I believe you would have.”
We take our time savoring these cookies and drinking our coffees. There are plenty of people to watch, and with his leg pressing along the length of mine, I’m not in a hurry to move.
“I should probably warn you,” he says, “we have a tradition for after the Christmas fair, too.”
“Of course you do.”
“We hang out at the inn and watch Elf while we eat baked macaroni and cheese.”
“Maybe I’ll sneak a bowl of it up to my room when nobody’s looking.”
“Nope, that’s cheating. You only get the carbs and cheese if you sit through the movie.”
“Rob, my job here is done. And that’s your family time. I really don’t belong there.”
His shoulders straighten, and he frowns. “What? Of course you belong there.”
Oh, how I wish he meant that the way my heart took it. “I’m not family. I work for your brother-in-law.”
“You did most of the work. And you helped with the wrapping and…no. I want you there.”
There was something about the way he said it that twisted me up inside—like maybe he did mean it the way I wished he would. “Okay. I’m in.”
He gives me a sheepish grin. “Okay. But in that case, I have an additional warning, actually.”
“Maybe we should get some hazard ahead stickers printed up for your family.”
“We’d definitely put some on the casserole dishes. The Byrne Family Baked Macaroni and Cheese recipe is…not great.” He wrinkles his nose in a most adorable way. “Actually, the recipe’s probably fine, but the execution would get us booted off a reality cooking show before the first commercial break.”
After we’re finished with the cookies and coffee, we wander around the Charming Lake Christmas Fair for hours, and it’s great to see the community enjoy the work Rob and I did. We watch the preschoolers having a blast in the candy cane maze. The sledding runs are a huge success. And I actually tear up a little watching the kids climb on to the sleigh to have their photos taken with Santa and get their Santa Fund gifts.
By the time the festivities start winding down, my feet hurt and my stomach aches from laughing. I don’t mind, though, because between the joyful vibe of the town and the man I shared it with, the Charming Lake Christmas Fair was the best day of my life.
But it doesn’t take long, once everybody’s back at the inn, for that festive glow to fade. And it starts with the thought that’s running through my head as the Byrne family pulls out the massive casserole dish of baked macaroni and cheese, triggering fake smiles all around.
I wish my mom was here. She would love this family and their holiday shenanigans.
The truth is, I love this family and their holiday shenanigans. But I don’t think I can go into the family room with them and watch a Christmas movie and whatever else their traditions call for.
I can’t be a part of their family gathering because I’m not family. But I also can’t join in and pretend I’m just Donovan’s assistant being included out of kindness because Rob feels like more than that to me and I’m not sure we can hide that.
As much as it hurts, the time has come for me to start disentangling myself from Rob and his family.
When he tries to hand me a bowl, I shake my head. “I’m still stuffed from all the fair food I ate today. I think I’m going to head up to my room.”
“You’ll miss the movie.”
I force a smile. “I know how it ends.”
When his gaze holds mine, searching, I know he wants to question my decision, but there’s only so much he can say when surrounded by his family. “You feeling okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired and very much not hungry. And I need to start making plans to head back to the city.”
The words land the way I knew they would—I can see it in the way his jaw clenches and his shoulders drop. “Sure. If you change your mind, the mac will be in the fridge and we’ll be in the family room.”
I nod before he or anybody else can say anything more, and I’m a little afraid I might burst into tears. I keep it together all the way to my room, though, where I immediately strip down to my underwear.
I don’t put on music and dance it out, though.
Instead, I stretch out on the bed and stare at the ceiling as though I’ll find something there to ease the utter panic running through my mind.
I don’t want to leave Charming Lake.
And I really don’t want to leave Rob.
But then I think of all of my striving for more in high school. The striving in college. I remember how hard it was to climb every single rung of the corporate ladder.
Then I roll onto my stomach so the pillow can absorb my tears.