Chapter 40 #2
He let go of me then, digging his feet into the damp sand in an effort to bear his own weight. He swayed a little but maintained his balance. Only, as he reached up to unzip my dad’s old velour track jacket, he wobbled again.
“Let me do it,” I said.
Slowly, I unfastened the zipper and slid the jacket off his broad frame, letting it drop to the beach.
I pulled at the drawstring at his waist, untying the track pants, and they slid down his legs, puddling at his feet.
Xander put a hand on each of my shoulders, leaning on me as he stepped out of the pant legs.
And there we were: him, fully naked, save his necklace; me, bundled into my coat. We were just as we had been when Casey and I found him on the beach mere weeks ago. But we were also forever changed.
“I—I don’t have words,” said Xander.
“We don’t need them,” I said.
And then we kissed. A kiss that was equal parts love and pain. A kiss I would remember for the rest of my life. I would have to.
“Goodbye, Hannah,” he said. “My love.”
I nodded. It was all I could do not to cry. I didn’t want his last memory of me to be some hysterical, sobbing mess.
I watched as he turned away from me and lumbered unsteadily into the surf.
But the deeper he waded, the surer his steps became.
Hugging myself, I stared after him until he disappeared into the waves.
When a lightning-like flash engulfed the beach, and the huge, iridescent tail of a fish briefly kicked up above the water’s surface, I knew Xander was on his way home.
Bending to pick the discarded clothing up off the sand, I saw my friends in my periphery. At some point, Rita, Wills, Paulette, Angie, and Miles had joined Drew and Garth on the beach. Apparently, Xander and I had had quite an audience for our goodbye scene.
I walked toward the group, trying to put on a brave face. Each of them had gone above and beyond for me. For Xander and me. I’d have plenty of time to wallow in my grief. For now, I wanted them to know how grateful I was.
“We did it,” I said, forcing a smile. “Mission accomplished.”
They all just stared at me. Gawked, really. I started to get an uneasy feeling, like I was missing something.
“What is it?” I asked, my smile fading. “What’s wrong?”
“We heard,” said Rita. “We heard everything.”
“Okay,” I said with a shrug. The way Xander and I felt about each other was already common knowledge.
“You could have gone with him,” said Drew. It sounded almost like an accusation.
“Well, yes,” I said, a little thrown. “But…no. I mean, not really.”
“So, you don’t believe in the necklace’s magic?” asked Rita, raising her eyebrows.
“No, I do,” I said. “It saved me from drowning ten years ago. You know that. I’m sure it would work again now.”
“So, you could have gone with him,” repeated Drew. Now, it definitely sounded like an accusation.
Suddenly, I felt off-kilter, like the sand was shifting under my feet. “No,” I said slowly. “I couldn’t. How could I? I—I have responsibilities here. Like, I have to look after Casey while my parents are gone.”
“You know we would take care of Casey,” said Garth. “He’d miss you, sure. But you know how much he loves Millie. He’d get to be with her.”
“And you’d get to be with Xander,” said Angie.
I shook my head. “But I can’t be with Xander.”
“Because you have…responsibilities?” asked Miles, knitting his brow.
“Exactly,” I said. “And it’s not just Casey. There’s also the Sunny Side. What would happen to the Sunny Side if I just up and left? Maureen would be out of a job.”
“She could work for me,” said Rita. “Between the bookshop and Mavis, I could use a little part-time help.”
“And couldn’t your folks just sell it to that bloke who wanted to buy it?” asked Wills. “The one who stayed there a couple of weeks ago?”
“But then, there’s my folks,” I insisted. “I can’t just up and disappear on them. Like, forever.”
Everyone went quiet at that. They all knew my parents. They knew how close we were.
“Well,” said Paulette, “maybe we could talk to them when they get home. You know. Help them understand.”
“Help them understand that I swam off to live under the sea with a merman?” I asked.
“If it comes from just one of us, it’ll sound like a delusion,” said Angie. “But if it comes from all of us…”
“Group delusion?” suggested Rita.
We all laughed. Nervous laughter.
“The thing is, we’ll be here for them,” said Angie. “So, you can be where you belong. With Xander.”
“Because you love him,” said Drew. “You love him, right?”
I swallowed. Nodded. Suddenly, my head was swimming. I did love him. Of course I did.
And I wanted to be with him. More than anything. I wanted to share my life with him.
Only, the life he was offering was way out of my comfort zone. It was far from everyone and everything I knew.
But it was also a big life. One filled with adventure. And…magic.
I’d wanted that kind of life once. I’d dreamed about it. Fear had made me close that part of myself off and forget those dreams, but now I remembered them.
Because of Xander, I remembered.
And I wasn’t going to forget again.
“Shit,” I whispered. A dark realization crept through me. “I made the wrong decision, didn’t I? I should have gone with him.”
“Can’t you go after him now?” asked Rita.
I looked back out at the ocean. The sea was particularly rough today, the waves charging and pounding on the shore.
The portal to his homeland was over two miles out.
Then, who knew how far down? Even if I got past my fear—and stayed on course—I’d never make it.
Not without the necklace. “It’s too far,” I said.
“What if we take my father’s boat?” asked Drew.
“What?” I asked.
“We take my father’s boat, and we follow the maps on your phone to the portal,” said Drew. “Then, you’d just have to swim straight down.”