26. Chapter 26
“All living things have a life force.”
Augrys drew a silver circle in the air, magic fueling its appearance. “From it, a magic core is born.” He drew another circle next to it, connecting them with a line.
“The magic core holds the raw power needed to cast spells. Most humans are born without one. However, on rare occasions, some are born with it. From that small sample, few develop the ability to feel magic in the world. These are your psychics, fortune tellers, shamans, and any other otherworldly-based specialty.”
“What about witches?” Yareli asked.
They were seated on stools across from each other in her bedroom, holding her first magic lesson.
They were due to leave for the capital the next day, and Augrys had squeezed an abbreviated session for her into his packed schedule.
He looked pristine once again, trading his blue Water Court uniform for a more casual look with a white T-shirt and slacks—an awful likeness to the August from her memories—and it was distracting.
She had not seen Leo since their argument, presumably Augrys’s doing for his misstep with her.
She tried not to think about him, hesitating about her decision to go with Augrys now that she knew what bothered him.
But she refused to cater to him, so she allowed Augrys to keep him away.
It was better for all of them for now. The complicated could remain complicated as long as she kept it at an arm’s distance.
The problem was… her heart wasn’t logical, and it yearned.
Magic was her saving grace, her distraction from matters of love and lust. Her attention returned to Augrys’s lecture.
He said, “Schools of magic have always existed in the human world. Not all of them have been legitimate or long-lived, but a few have. Despite not understanding the true nature of magic and its core, they discovered a means to cast spells. However, since humans born with magic are few and far between, membership is sporadic. Not to mention the danger of prejudice, forcing many to remain hidden. To see incomprehensible acts that go against nature is frightening to non-magical folk.”
“And yet, I hear we love war,” Yareli commented.
“Terribly so.”
She hummed and tore a piece of bread from the crude coffee table between them, popping it into her mouth. “So, did the diagnostic show I had a magic core?”
He nodded and flexed his fingers. She frowned at his unforthcoming answer.
“When I first met you, I checked your core out of curiosity. You had no magic then. Now…”
She dropped the bread she was holding. She patted herself, searching for anything different.
“It is not a physical change.” The amusement in Augrys’s voice made her blush, and she stopped.
He placed an apple on the coffee table. “Healers can first detect the presence of the core in newly born Fae, but since a core grows alongside the Fae youngling, testing its growth and potential has to be done every few years. Your case is an odd one. You had little magic potential. It was so minuscule, I thought nothing of it.”
“And now?”
“You have the core of a Fae youngling.”
And as if it were responding to his words, her magic flared, like a tiny seed that had taken root and started to sprout.
Augrys continued. “If you want to find your magic core, you’ll have to start with sensing energy.”
At her questioning look, he instructed her to focus on the apple.
“Close your eyes and feel for the apple. It’s an opening of your senses. All magic is energy manipulation, and everything has energy.”
She closed her eyes, letting the world go dark. She tried opening her senses—whatever that meant—to the world around her, but after a minute with no change, she blew air from her lips.
“Are there any step-by-step instructions?” she asked.
Augrys took a moment to think. “Try to silence your thoughts. It is akin to listening to the world you inhabit. Rather than trying to force it, let it come to you.”
“Like meditating?”
“Exactly.”
Yareli’s mind was anything but silent. She, herself, was anything but force.
She was always forcing something. She bit her lip.
Peace and tranquility—she could do that.
She would force it if she had to. She closed her eyes again, but this time she drove away any thoughts from her mind.
After a few minutes of struggle, the ghost of quietude presented itself.
She clutched it, her breathing becoming even as she fell farther into her senses and away from her stream of consciousness. Her breathing deepened and slowed.
Bursts of color popped into existence like fireworks, hovering all around her like planets.
She sifted through the round, vibrating spheres, searching until she found the apple’s tiny energy, a pinprick of gray next to a grander, pulsating white orb.
Curious, she pushed her senses toward the white orb and nudged it.
It rattled in response, and her senses flooded with Augrys—his scent, his warmth, his taste.
Startled, her eyes flew open. The lingering flavor of caramel coated her tongue.
Augrys had a slight blush coloring his cheeks. He cleared his throat. “You picked that up quicker than I thought you would.”
“What was that? I saw the apple, but yours was bigger… more alive than it.”
“Living things have greater energy than nonliving things. Magical folk will have even greater energy than non-magical folk since the magic core is essentially additional energy storage,” he explained.
She pondered that for a moment. “Then, is the life force that energy I saw?”
“Yes, any living thing will have a life force. It gets a little complicated when you compare something like an apple and a rock. An apple, although non-living, has dying cells within that are technically living. A rock does not, but since all things have energy, then the question is, ‘what is life force?’”
She waited for him to answer the question. There was that spark in his eyes again—the spark of a scholar. How, then, had a man with a scholar’s heart ended up as the commander of the Water Court’s army? Maybe one day she would ask, but that question crossed a boundary she had set.
Augrys continued. “Our scholars have defined it rather crudely. A living thing will have a life force. A non-living thing will have energy. A life force encompasses more than just the energy needed to exist. It contains the essence of the living thing. For example, when you touched my life force, did you experience anything strange?”
Flashes of Augrys came to mind. “Yes.”
He didn’t seem surprised. “That’s the difference between a non-living thing’s energy and a living thing’s life force. If you touched a rock’s energy, you’d feel what it is, but you wouldn’t feel its desires, needs, and thoughts.”
“I didn’t sense your thoughts.”
“I didn’t let you,” he said. “Protecting your life force is one of the first things taught to young Fae. Without protection, anyone with magic can manipulate your emotions, thoughts, and even control your actions. Non-magical folks are susceptible to this kind of control.”
So that’s how Tuom had bound her to him. He had taken advantage of her exposed life force. She exhaled. “That’s terrifying.”
“Which is why we’re going to make sure you can protect it.”
“How do we do that?”
“First, find your life force. We’ll use it to find your magic core, because they take on different shapes depending on the person.
Join me on the floor.” Augrys had moved the furniture from him with a flick of his hand and settled on the floor, sitting cross-legged.
He patted the floor next to him, and a rug appeared.
Once Yareli settled into position, he instructed her. “Close your eyes, and open your senses again.”
Colors blossomed in the darkness, and she nodded.
“This is the difficult part. You want to draw your senses inward instead of letting them stretch outward. Keep your breath steady and focus on your heartbeat. It’ll be like meditating again.”
Relaxing came easier this time, and soon, her muscles loosened. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears.
“Good.” Augrys’s voice took on a quieter, softer tone. “Now trace the flow of your blood from your extremities to your heart.”
Yareli did so, her pulse quickening as her anticipation grew.
“Once you’re able to stay at your heart, explore downward. Search for the currents of energy in your blood.”
She followed the ebb and flow of her blood until whispers of purple flashed in the darkness, convening south of her heart. The mauve tributary grew as she approached her life force until there was nothing but a sea of color.
“I see it,” she whispered.
“Look for a single strand that never strays from its path and follow it,” Augrys said.
Yareli frowned. Everything was purple. How was she supposed to find a single strand?
The answer came to her as soon as she asked the question—she needed a better vantage point.
She flung herself backward, away from the ocean that was her, and it became a single orb like Augrys’s had been.
She was astounded by what was essentially her.
Then, to its left was a single offshoot.
She grabbed it, following it behind her life force.
A tall, metal wall lay in front of her, freezing to touch. She hissed as she pulled back from it.
“What is that?” she asked.
“That’s your core. What do you see?”
“A wall—it’s cold.”
Augrys hummed in thought. “Interesting. You have to break it open. It’s like cracking an egg and letting its yolk stream out. That’s how you’ll free your magic to freely run through you.”
“How do I break this?” She had no physical body to use against it. “It’s steel.”
Her teeth chattered as she hovered by her core, the chill emanating a white mist.
“Pull out for now,” he instructed.
She attempted to float away and started.
Frost covered her ankles, creeping up her legs. Up until now, she had been incorporeal, a hovering sense of self, but she had taken form. She tugged at her legs, but her hands became glued to her thighs. Horror filled her; she was stuck.
“Augrys, help,” she shrieked.
“Don’t panic. I’ll get you out of there in a moment.”
She heard him shuffling, and she gasped as his hands made contact with her shoulders.
They were scorching compared to her frozen body, and like licking flames, his heat melted the frost. Within a few seconds, she was freed, and she threw herself backward, past her life force that floated in an endless darkness like a gas planet.
She opened her eyes to Augrys kneeling in front of her.
The exhilaration of her experience loosened her lips, and before she knew it, the words had escaped her.
“Not a bad position to find myself in.”
She regretted them instantly. She had sworn she wasn’t going to poke at a wasp’s nest, but here she was, less than forty-eight hours later, failing to keep her promise. His face of disbelief drew laughter from her, and he pulled away, sitting across from her on the floor.
He coughed. “I wasn’t prepared for those to be your first words.”
After her laughter subsided, she said, “So, what now? How do I break that wall?”
“You must figure that out on your own.” He held a hand to stop her protest, continuing his explanation. “There are two popular methods. The first is to use your strong desire to open it. The second is to focus on a strong emotion that will fuel your resolve to break it.”
“Mental fortitude? That’s it? While there, my body manifested. Can’t I imagine a giant flamethrower and try to melt it?”
“You can, but the flamethrower may not work. That’s the challenge—finding what will work. For now, practice visiting your life force, but don’t go near your core alone. You could lose your life if you’re trapped.”
He took hold of her hands, and she realized she was still shivering. She ignored the flutters in her stomach at his touch. It didn’t affect her, she told herself. He warmed her up with a spell, then, to her relief, let go of her.
“Let’s call it for now. You can try breaking the wall next time. We have an early morning tomorrow.”
Yareli readily agreed. While she was slightly disappointed that she didn’t unlock her magic, identifying her thrumming life force was enough for now. She couldn’t wait to behold the purple orb again.
Before he left, he reminded her, “Don’t go to your core alone. Not even our younglings are allowed to do so.”
She kept her promise, only visiting her life force a few more times before she fell asleep.
Seeing it vibrating with energy gave her a sense of peace she hadn’t experienced before.
To be nothing but a ball of energy in the universe, floating in the space before her.
None of the life events that had shaped her had affected it.
She was still this bundle of light, ready to shine if she was ready.
But then she saw it, a darkened, twisted red chain hidden in her life force.
She turned away, closing herself off from it.
She didn’t have to investigate to know what that chain was or who it belonged to.
The following morning, Leo was still nowhere to be seen.
Yareli swallowed her disappointment and silenced her guilt because she did not ask for him.
Instead, she bade Bri farewell and pulled her traveling cloak closer to her body as she stepped outside once again.
Dawn had not yet arrived; the night’s stars sparkled like millions of diamonds bidding her good-bye. Erick held a traveling mug toward her.
“Drink this before the third shadowstep. It should help with the pain from the transformation later.”
Yareli thanked him. Later that day, Augrys and Erick planned to cast the transformation spell that would disguise her human features. With her magic core filled with power, it would almost make her seem like a true Fae.
“Ready?” Augrys asked. He was waiting for her, his arm outstretched, welcoming her into his embrace.
She took a deep breath. She was on that ledge again, but this time, she took the step herself, throwing herself into the unknown.
“Let’s go.”