Chapter 64
There were a lot of outfits to choose from, some less concerning than others, but the new jean shorts Caroline had bought were basically hot pants, and while the new dress for the Saturday-night party was pretty and not as full-on adult sexy as Anna had dreaded, it stopped mid-thigh in a way that made Anna’s chest compress.
Jed’s words in the diner throbbed in her ears.
You seen the things girls these days wear in bars, like men have no red blood in them?
Then it’s our fault if it turns out they ain’t even legal.
Seeing her little sister, not so long ago a tomboy, excited about getting dressed up and dancing and parties brought back too many memories.
Frannie and her in their own barely there clothes.
Mixing sodas with liquor stolen from Andrea’s dad’s cabinet.
Getting themselves in the mood. Never coming home when they said they would and driving their moms crazy.
Wild girls. Party animals on their own terms and proud of it.
The brightness of those memories, all that confidence shone so hard it hurt.
“Ben’s coming. And Andy. Holly likes Andy.
He likes her too.” Caroline giggled, her eyes sparkling as she turned this way and that in front of the mirror, playing at adulthood.
The hairs on Anna’s arms prickled, antennae for danger.
They were children. They were too young for boys.
Caroline especially was too innocent. Mom had protected her from the details of the thing.
Anna had been attacked and she didn’t know by who; that was all Caroline knew.
Everyone protected Caroline. Even Dad, in his own way, had protected her by leaving before she could feel his loss.
“Who’s Ben?”
“Just a boy in our class.” Caroline sounded innocuous enough, but Anna knew that tone. This was a boy Caroline liked. “He’s pretty cool.”
Cool. Cool invariably didn’t equate to nice.
As Caroline wriggled out of her dress and pulled her old T-shirt back on, Anna studied her.
Thick, beautiful long hair that was glossy dark, not the dull brown so many girls had.
Hair like a Pantene ad. Hair like hers, if she ever took care of it.
A bow mouth that formed perfect, plump rosebud lips.
Flawless skin. Wide green eyes. Caroline was morphing into stunning.
Maybe she was already there. Anna felt sick.
“I thought you were afraid of this Farmhand thing.” The straw bracelet was still on her sister’s wrist. “Sleeping outside alone?”
“I’m okay about that now. It’s only a silly, spooky story. There aren’t any monsters.” She looked around, smiling. Oh yes, there are, Callie. But I hope you never meet one.
“Yeah. Like today,” Callie continued, “because it’s Lila’s anniversary, everyone at school was talking about me saying Farmhand into the mirror.
” She smiled with more than a little pride.
“Ben said I was pretty wild for having done it when no one else did. So you think this dress is good?” She held it up against herself again.
“Maybe I should wear that miniskirt and crop top. Oh man, it’s so hard to decide. ”
Wild. Ben had called Callie wild. Anna didn’t like that at all.
“Either will look great.” She tilted her head. “Why don’t you let me put some layers in your hair? I haven’t cut it for ages. Will make it easier to style. Would be cool.”
“You remember how to do it?” Callie looked doubtful, one hand running through her silken mane.
Anna could see she was tempted. With it so long it was easy for Grandma to insist she wore it like some choir girl, with a neat bow and running long down her back.
Callie didn’t want that anymore. Callie had liked being called wild.
“I worked Saturdays in that salon for two whole years, Callie. Of course I can remember. Still got the special scissors and comb.” She stood. “Come on.” She headed to her room, not giving Caroline time to change her mind.
“Just sit over there,” she said. “No, face the window, not the mirror,” she continued, her voice airy, a voice belonging to someone else, not her. “I want it to be a surprise.”
“Okay.” Caroline did as she was told and gave Anna her biggest, happiest smile.
It was so open and warm. She was beautiful.
She radiated it. It’s for the best, Anna thought as she opened the box.
Her fingers felt numb, but she moved them anyway, sliding them into the cool of the metal scissor hoops. It’ll be for the best.