Chapter 68
Anna was in a surreal bubble behind the counter of Jeannie’s as she poured coffee and took orders that were few and far between.
The atmosphere inside the cool diner was still as oppressive as the heavy heat outside, surely ready to burst, or maybe that was just her.
Bonnie was murdered three years ago. This time back then, Bonnie was still breathing, laughing, worrying about the usual daily bullshit, not knowing what the night would bring for her.
Anna had thrown up twice before leaving home, her head spinning with the madness of what she knew. Anna and Grandma losing their shit together. Another girl was going to die in Harper’s Creek, and that girl was her. Clown.
She’d watched the men coming and going, either on the sidewalk outside or at the counter and booths as she served them.
No one seemed to pay her any extra attention, but that didn’t mean anything.
She was a waitress in the only diner in town; any one of them could be the killer and fixating on her.
Right kind of age, right kind of girl. She felt at once terrified and doomed.
This had been coming for her since the thing.
The final humiliation. Found dead and naked in a field somewhere, the skin on her back cut off, pressing the meat of her into this alien land. Failing everyone all over again.
She thought of Suzy, at home packing for her weekend in the city, and wondered how weird she’d find it if Anna asked to tag along. But what would happen then? Would another girl die instead? Victoria the dental hygienist? Melissa? A terrible thought crept up on her. Caroline?
“Anna. Anna!”
She was so lost in her reverie that Jeannie had to say her name twice before Anna turned to see her pursed red lips, face full of disapproval, hand on her hip. Sheriff Adams and Todd were on the other side of the counter and all three were looking her way. “What?”
“Is this right?” Jeannie continued, sounding very much as exasperated as Mom did when she spoke to her but without the undercurrent of love. “Is it you who’s been putting these posters up?”
“I’ll take it from here,” the sheriff said, wearily leaning on the counter, and, huffing, Jeannie withdrew to the register. Anna looked down at the sheet the sheriff pushed over to her. Those smiling faces. She could almost see her own alongside them.
“You were seen, so don’t deny it,” he continued.
“I presume you took them from Jamie’s motel room?
” He sounded as tired as he looked. The bags under his eyes were darker, and there was a slouch in his shoulders.
Todd hovered behind, but Anna didn’t look at him as she shrugged.
She didn’t like looking at either of them.
They knew about the thing. It made her skin crawl with exposure, as if she were murdered and naked already.
“So? He would have wanted me to. To keep women alert.”
“That may be, Anna, but no one in town needs this right now. We’re remembering two dead girls, two of our own. This is disrespectful as well as unnecessary. Michael Cairns killed those girls and the police killed him.”
Anna stared at him. Of our own. None of them would care if it was her. Maybe they’d be relieved. No one digging around asking questions. “It’s not a crime to put up posters.”
He smiled at her. It was an easy smile, warm, making thick creases in his face, and had no malice in it.
“Unfortunately it is. That’s what I’m here to remind you.
Don’t get yourself in trouble over this.
This was Jamie’s obsession and it frustrated me, but I got why he felt that way.
This isn’t your obsession. You’ve got your own, different problems—” Her skin prickled.
There it was. The thing. “Maybe go talk to someone. It can’t hurt. ”
“Another girl’s going to die,” Anna said.
“I know it.” Her words were loud in the quiet and Jeannie—already listening hard—whipped her head around.
“So I’m not going to apologize for keeping the pressure on to look at the case again.
Arrest me if you want. Lock me up.” Her heart raced.
She’d be safe in a cell. “But I’m not going to stop. ”
“All right, Anna.” The sheriff rubbed his face in his hands before sighing and looking back at her.
“All right. I’ll leave it for now. But people here are still hurting.
This isn’t your pain, but you do need to respect theirs.
” He straightened up and nodded to Todd.
“Get us some coffees, and I’ll see you back in the car.
” He headed toward the restroom, leaving Anna, awkward and embarrassed, with the deputy.
“He talks about the rest of the town,” Todd said quietly to Anna as he waited for Jeannie to bring over the takeout coffees she was making.
“But he’s part of the town. I was young, but I remember how hard he worked after Lila’s and Bonnie’s murders nearly sent him over the edge.
To lose another of the town’s kids. He couldn’t believe it.
Blamed himself for not catching the guy after Lila, that’s what Pete told me.
If they hadn’t gotten Michael Cairns, he’d probably have had a breakdown. ”
“Maybe that’s why he accepted Cairns’s guilt so easily.”
“Oh jeez, Anna.” It was Todd’s turn to be frustrated.
“He accepted Cairns’s guilt because the man was shot in the middle of a crime, had incriminating photos on his phone, Sailor’s Choice soap in his bag, and a baseball bat in the trunk of his car, and even the state police were convinced he was the guy.
Let the dead rest. Or at least let the living have some peace. The man’s done his best.”
“Have you looked in the file yourself?” she asked. “Maybe there’s something in there they’ve missed.”
“It’s not my business.” Todd took a step back.
“If the sheriff asks me to look, I’ll look.
I don’t even know where the file is. I think he has it somewhere.
I know he got it out after Jamie died.” He nodded a thank-you at Jeannie for the coffees and they both saw her withering side-eye at Anna.
“I’m sorry. But this is my job. I mean, you’ve got my number and I’m happy to listen or hang out or whatever because I like you, but I also agree with the sheriff.
Maybe you need to talk to someone, you know, professional. ”
She could just see that. How would she explain Grandma and the timelines all running in her head? They say a girl died here. Off to the nuthouse with her.
“You’ll be sorry when another girl is murdered,” she called after him as he turned to leave.
Her neck was burning hot and she knew it must be blotchy to look at.
Crazy Anna who got the police to test her own blood.
No wonder he didn’t take her seriously. She took a long, shaky breath, ignoring Jeannie’s muttering about her to Miles.
She watched as Todd headed to the waiting police cruiser outside.
You’ll be sorry when it’s me.