4. Diego #7
Diego felt a weight he hadn’t realized he was carrying finally shed from his back. It felt like putting down a heavy backpack, or the relief when an ache was finally relieved. Unfortunately, there was another burden, and this one seemed to be sitting on his chest.
“But… I’m also your business partner.”
Frankie frowned, a channel of confusion on his forehead. “And… you want me to want you as my business partner? Not just… as you?”
Diego sighed and felt a tension headache beginning to form. It ran from the back of his head all the way down his neck. He turned to walk into the kitchen when Frankie reached out and grabbed his wrist, hard.
“Diego!” he cried, and his voice was pure anguish.
“I’m just getting a glass of water, mi corazón . Would you like one?”
Frankie followed Diego into the kitchen, so close he was practically standing on top of him. “That means heart, right?”
Diego grabbed their water pitcher and two plastic cups and began pouring water. “It does. That was the new one I was going to use for you this week but… it felt a little too… on the nose.”
Frankie accepted his cup, letting his fingers graze across Diego’s.
After they had made out and practically dry humped, as Frankie so elegantly put it, the brief contact should have been nothing, but to Diego it was everything.
It was a small point of connection they had shared countless times this past year and would share countless times again co-owning a business together.
But could they share it as more than friends?
He reached out and pulled Frankie into his arms, startling him into spilling some of his water. It soaked through part of Diego’s shirt and dripped down onto the waistband of his sweatpants.
“Diego—”
“What would happen if we broke up?” he asked. Frankie’s mouth snapped closed with an audible clack of teeth.
They stood there, Diego slightly damp and Frankie a near statue in his arms, for an uncomfortable few moments of silence.
“We haven’t even started dating, D, and you’re already trying to break us up?”
Diego took a step back and gave an annoyed huff. “We have to be reasonable and… and rational, Franklin. We’ll be living together, owning, and running a start-up business together. You heard Obie. It’s going to be long hours and stress and—”
“Actually, I talked to Obie and Seth about that tonight. I went over to ask if I was being stupid, prepared to hear there was absolutely no reason to pine after you when I already had so much of you. Your time, your space in our apartment, your career in our business… how could I ask for your love too.” Frankie wrapped his arms around himself, gripping his elbows and staring down at the water droplets on the floor.
“And… what did they say?” Diego asked. A part of him desperately wanted their friends to be the voice of reason. To tell them it wasn’t worth it, that it was too much, too stressful, too dangerous.
“Well, they said it wasn’t really my right to decide what you would and wouldn’t give me. So, Obie told me to ask you.”
Diego smiled. “By shoving your tongue down my throat?”
Frankie rolled his shoulders as if in pain and didn’t smile back.
Diego frowned and reached for him again.
It was like a game of tug of war he was playing only with himself.
Frankie came all too willingly, curling into Diego’s chest, and fisting his hands in the back of Diego’s shirt, perhaps to keep him from pulling away again.
“Obie did say that starting a business is incredibly hard. He had only just started dating Seth when he opened the tattoo parlor, and he said it was really hard on both of them. They were constantly working opposite hours, and Obie was always stressed and busy. But Seth said he wouldn’t have given up the time they spent together for the world.
He even said several times he had almost wished he’d gone into business with Obie, so they at least could have been struggling together. ”
Diego leaned his head onto Frankie’s shoulder.
One of the most frustrating parts of being trans for him was how damn short he was.
He wanted to tower over Frankie and be able to cradle him in his arms, protecting him from the world.
Frankie always seemed to stand with a hunch.
When they sat together on the couch he would curl into a small ball, fitting himself into Diego’s arms or into his lap.
Would they fit together just as easily in bed?
Frankie was soft against Diego’s leg, but Diego felt himself begin to stiffen and he pressed his crotch into Frankie’s thigh.
Frankie let out a startled gasp and jerked his head to the side to look into Diego’s eyes. “You’re sending me sort of mixed messages, D.”
“I think it’s all the same message. I want you.
I’ve always wanted you. But I’m scared. I’m scared this is going to be too much for us.
That people are going to find out we’re dating and there’s going to be so much pressure and expectations on top of the stress of a new business and a new relationship and we’ll shatter…
taking down the cafe, Obie’s investment, possibly their friendship, and each other in the process. ”
Frankie buried his face into the crook of Diego’s neck. He felt wetness there and he turned to catch Frankie's tears with his lips. “Oh querido, please don’t cry.”
This time it was Frankie who tried to pull away. “Please don’t call me that if you don’t mean it. Don’t… don’t call me anything ever again if you don’t mean it. I can’t…” Frankie frantically wiped at his face and yanked out of Diego’s arms.
“You’re so worried that we’ll try this thing out, and it won’t work, and then we’ll break? Well, I just tore my fucking heart and threw it at your feet, D. If you don’t pick it up it’s just going to stay there, and I’ll just keep walking around without it and try not to break.”
Frankie fled from the room. Before Diego could respond, he heard scrabbling at the front door, and then the sound of the door slamming shut.