Thick Girls Write Their Own Happy Endings (Peaches & Pole #2)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Sophie

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Throwing my arms around Eve, I tugged her through the front door and into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Don’t mind us,” Anjannette said. “We’ll just stand out here and freeze.”

Still holding onto Eve, I backed into the house, allowing Anjannette and Keera to enter. I pulled back just far enough to see her face.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I said again.

“I know. It kind of feels like I’ve been away forever.”

“That’s because you have.”

She chuckled.

“It’s only been a few months.”

“Eight,” I said. “It’s been eight months.”

“I know. I planned on being here for Christmas, but then my whole family decided to come out to Seaside for the holidays.”

“I get it, but I really missed you.”

“Don’t mind Keera and me over here,” Anjannette said from the dining room. “We’ll just amuse ourselves and eat all this food.”

I released Eve then we both walked over to the dining room. Anjannette and Keera had brought pizza and wings and set the table with the paper plates and napkins the restaurant provided.

“Nice of you to join us.”

I grabbed a slice and looked over at Anjannette.

“There’s no need to be dramatic,” I said.

“Dramatic?” She placed her hand against her chest dramatically . “Moi?”

“Always.”

She shrugged, then took a big bite of pizza.

“So tell us everything that’s been going on with you and Max,” Keera said to Eve.

“You act like you don’t grill me for details during our Zoom calls.”

“It’s not the same.” Keera shook her head. “We like you in the same room.”

“Not that we’re not thrilled that you’ve found true love out there on the left coast,” Anjannette added.

Keera pointed between Eve and me with a chicken wing.

“And if one of you doesn’t write that story, I’m gonna scream.”

Eve’s trip to visit her aunt in Seaside, Oregon last summer resulted in her falling in love with the local handyman and moving to the idyllic coastal town. The fact that said handyman is not only nine years younger but also happens to be the former child star of one of the hottest TV shows from the last decade makes their story that much more interesting.

I spread my arms out wide and pointed at myself.

“Not to brag, but I am the one who predicted her life would imitate a Hallmark Channel movie before she went out there.”

“Then write the damn story,” Keera said.

“I think Eve needs to do it. It would be great for marketing.”

“Yeah, but that would be icky. Even though it’d be fiction, readers would think I’d opened the door to our bedroom.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

Keera bobbed her eyebrows and Eve threw a crumpled napkin at her forehead.

“Besides, Max and I are old news. Keera and Simon are the new kids on the block. Not to mention the fact that Anjannette and Leo are engaged and planning a huge wedding.”

“Even if we just included Leo’s immediate family, the wedding would be huge.”

I finished two slices and a handful of wings as Anjannette filled Eve in on her latest adventures in wedding planning. I half listened since I’ve already heard some of it. Leo is from a big Greek family and they’re trying to get married without having to rent an arena to fit all the guests.

It’s funny, when I started taking pole dance lessons at the studio, Anjannette had sworn off men, Keera was healing a broken heart by dating dick band-aids ...her words, not mine…and Eve and I were both newly divorced. Now the three of them are in healthy, happy relationships.

“But enough about me,” Anjannette said. “Sophie is the one living the Sex and the City life. Hearing about that is more interesting than listening to my guest list woes.”

“I told you guys that I’m done with the dating scene.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t think you were serious,” Keera said.

“Oh, I’m serious.”

“You were having fun exploring. ” Eve said. “Did something happen?”

She looked alarmed as she asked that question and I quickly reassured her.

“No, it just stopped being fun.”

“I get that,” Keera said. “It turns into a grind after a while.”

I finished my wine and set the glass down, keeping my fingers wrapped around the stem.

“Rob was the only person I had sex with and after the divorce, I was kind of like a kid in a candy store. But after a while, I wasn’t enjoying it anymore.” I circled my pointer finger around the rim of the glass as I collected my thoughts. “I even checked out those BDSM clubs, but it only made me realize the kinky-sex lifestyle isn’t for me.” I shifted my gaze between the three of them. “So I’m done with dating. I’m better off on my own.”

Keera and Anjannette shared a look then burst out laughing.

“Famous last words,” Anjannette said.

“Yeah, you know both of us took a man break and then Leo walked into her life and I rediscovered Simon in a whole new way.”

I shook my head.

“I was married for twenty years. I’m not looking for a relationship.”

They all nodded, but the looks on their faces said I’d eat those last words as soon as the perfect man walked into my life. Especially Eve’s since she said the same thing last year.

“I’m serious,” I said. “Been there, done that, and have written many books.”

“Good one,” Keera said.

“Thanks, I pride myself on my wordsmanship.” I popped the last bite of crust into my mouth and chewed, debating on whether I wanted to share my next thought. As I swallowed, I decided I did. “There is one thing I’d love that I didn’t get while I was exploring .”

“What’s that?” Eve asked.

“Amazing sex.” Three sets of rounded eyes just stared at me. “What?”

“You didn’t get that with any of the guys you were with?” Anjannette asked.

“You say any as if I banged the whole third fleet,” I said. “I was pretty selective about who I spent time with and I only had sex with the few guys that made me tingly in all the right places.” I shook my head. “Unfortunately, none of them lived up to those tingles.”

Keera leaned forward, resting her elbow against the table, and held up one finger.

“Not one?”

“Nope.” I sighed. “A couple were better than the others, and one had a few moves I enjoyed. But honestly, not one of them gave me an orgasm better than I can give myself.”

“Damn.”

Anjannette punctuated that single word by picking up her glass and finishing her wine in one gulp.

“And the thing is…how do you know? They walk the walk and talk the talk, and then...” I made a raspberry sound and gave a thumb’s down.

“The struggle is real, my friend. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been with a guy who didn’t need training.” A slow smile spread across Anjannette’s face. “Well, except for Leo.”

“Which is why you’re putting a ring on it,” I said. “But I’m not lying when I say I don’t want anything serious.” I took in a breath and let it out. “You know what I really want?”

“I think this is going to be good,” Eve said in a stage whisper then leaned toward me, and smirked. “What do you want?”

“I want a man to take me out to a nice dinner, bring me home, fuck me hard…preferably with multiple mind-blowing orgasms...then go away until the next week. A true friend with benefits. Hell, we can even skip the friends part as long as the chemistry is there and he satisfies the aforementioned requirements.” I held out my hands. “You’d think I’d be every man’s fantasy, wouldn’t you?”

“You’d think,” Anjannette said.

“That sounds logical to me,” Keera said. “But Granny Vi always said that at a certain point, men either want a nurse or purse. Meaning they want a woman to take care of them or to support them.”

“I am so using that in my next book,” Eve said. “I’ll give Granny Vi full credit, of course.”

“She’ll be thrilled.”

“Maybe I need to have Granny Vi pick a man for me. She’s proven her ability to predict dick size. Maybe she can take one look and know if a guy is a dud or a stud in the sack.”

“I’ll ask if she wants to be your wing woman.”

“In the meantime, until I can find a man who will give me what I can’t give myself, I’ll stay solo.”

Jamie

“You could help, you know.”

“But you’re doing such a great job all by yourself,” Elliot said from his perch on the black velvet sofa across the room. “I don’t want to mess up your system.”

“M y system is putting paint on the roller and pushing it against the wall.”

“You’re better at it than I am.”

I climbed down the portable scaffolding, unlocked the wheels, and pushed it to the other side of the wall.

“I did all the trim. All you need to do is get off your ass, pick up a roller, and start painting.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stick his tongue out at me as he stood. I shook my head and leaned down to lock the wheels, then climbed back up.

“Know what I think?”

“Not really, but I’m sure you’ll tell me anyway.”

“You need to get laid,” he said. “That’s why you’re cranky.”

“I’m not cranky.”

“Yeah you are. You’re cranky and grumpy.”

“I’m not. I just want to finish renovating your studio. I need you to help if you want it ready for your training class.”

“It’s not my fault I’m not good at this stuff.”

“Spare me,” I said. “Growing up, we worked side-by-side with your dad doing this stuff .”

“It’s just not my thing.” He looked up at me and smiled. “That’s what I have you for.”

I shook my head and went back to the task at hand. I’m starving and I want to finish this first coat before stopping for lunch.

Behind me, I heard Elliott shuffling around. A quick glance over my shoulder confirmed that he’d finally started to paint.

If I’m being totally honest, when he asked me to help him renovate the pole studio, I didn’t really expect him to pitch in. I just like to bust his ass.

“Do you like this color?”

Squeezing the handle of my roller until my knuckles turned white, I ignored the question and kept painting, hoping Elliott would let it go. But history has taught me that he wouldn’t, and history is rarely wrong.

“Jamie. Jame. Jamie.”

Taking in a calming breath, I slowly let it out and turned around.

“There’s no need to say my name three times. You sound like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory .”

“You weren’t answering.”

“What do you want?”

“Do you like this color?”

“Yeah, it looks great.”

He scrunched his nose.

“You think?”

“I do, which is why I said it.”

Backing up to the middle of the room, he turned in a circle.

“I don’t know.” He gestured with the roller. “It looks kind of…blah.”

“You’re just used to the walls being Pepto Bismol pink.”

“Hmmm.”

Cocking his head to the side, he studied the wall he’d just painted.

There’s no way in hell I’m repainting. With these high ceilings, the trim took forever and doing the top half has been a pain in the ass.

“Don’t start second-guessing your choices. The burgundy and gold look good, especially with the exposed brick wall.”

Elliott narrowed his eyes.

“The colors are copper red and anjou pear .”

“Whatever. You’re looking at one coat with the sun and all the lights bouncing off it.”

He shrugged.

“Maybe.”

He’d been planning this renovation for months and it took him longer to pick out the paint than make any other decision. I figured I’d have to do more convincing, but surprisingly, he went back to the task at hand.

With both of us working, the walls were completely covered within a half hour. It took another ten minutes to get cleaned up and within fifteen we were walking through the front door of Saucy Girls Pizza.

Saucy Girl #1, Gina Romano, waved as we sat at our favorite table in the corner. She approached a minute later and set a Diet Coke in front of Elliott and handed me an unsweetened iced tea. Being a regular has its privileges.

“Having the usual?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “And I’ll have an antipasto salad, too.”

“We’ll take two plates with that salad,” Elliott said.

Normally I’d tell him I’m not sharing, but the salad in question is big enough to feed a family of four, and I don’t want to watch him pout.

“Got it. Cara is just finishing up a big takeout order, but she’ll get on this asap,” she said, referring to her wife, Saucy Girl #2.

“Sounds good.”

Gina headed back toward the kitchen, checking on the other occupied tables as she walked past. I picked up my iced tea and drank half the glass in one gulp. When I set it down, I noticed Elliott watching me.

“What?”

“I was serious before.”

“About?”

“You’re grumpy. You need to–”

“Do not say it.”

He laughed.

“You’re just proving my point.”

This isn’t the first time Elliott has commented on my sex life. Or rather, lack of one.

“Why are you so obsessed with my sex life?”

“Because, like I said, you’re grumpy.” He took a long sip of soda, for what I’m sure was a dramatic pause, then continued. “And your bad mood messes with my Zen vibe.”

“You wouldn’t know a Zen vibe if it bit you in the ass.”

He rested his elbows on the table and leaned closer.

“Again, you’re proving my point.”

Thankfully Gina returned with the antipasto. She must have sensed something going on between Elliott and me, because she placed everything on the table and left without saying a word.

I filled my plate, making sure to take extra meat, cheese, and olives. Especially olives because they’re Elliott’s favorite.

“Jamie, you can’t isolate yourself.”

“ Isolate ?”

I shoved a forkful of salad into my mouth wanting to kick myself for engaging. Elliott is a fixer and I don’t want to be fixed. Hell, I don’t need to be fixed.

“Yes, you do need to be fixed.”

I frowned as I finished chewing, trying to figure out if I said that last sentence out loud. Elliott rolled his eyes.

“I’ve known you your whole life. You don’t think I know exactly what you’re going to say before you say it?”

“My life is fine the way it is. I don’t need to get laid or whatever else it is you’re concocting in your mind.”

He held up his hands in a no offense gesture then groaned when Italian dressing dripped from his fork down his arm. If that had happened when we were kids, he would have licked it off, but now he picked up his napkin and wiped it away. Then he surprised the hell out of me by changing the subject. Not that I’m complaining.

“So do you think everything will be done by the time the class starts Sunday?”

“ Everything might be tough, but we’ll definitely have the main part of the studio ready. After the second coat of paint dries, I’ll get the floor trim and lights installed. While I’m doing that, you can start painting the dressing room and bathroom.”

I ignored his sour face and listed everything else on my to-do list. I’d just finished when Gina approached carrying our pie.

“Half fresh tomato, half meat lovers.” She set it on the table between us and my mouth watered as I inhaled the garlicky goodness. “I’ll bring you some refills. Need anything else?”

“No, this looks great.”

“Thanks Gina,” Elliott added.

We both stared at the pizza, knowing better than to reach for a slice while it’s fresh out of the oven.

“So if I help finish painting, do you think you can help me out with something?”

I wanted to point out that I’m helping him renovate his studio, but that would only delay him telling me what he wants.

“What’s that?”

“I could use an extra person to help out with the certification classes.”

I was shaking my head before he even finished the sentence.

“Oh come on,” he whined. “I’d only really need you for Sunday and Monday. There are less people for the level three and four certifications.”

“Elliott–”

“Norine has a family emergency out of town and can’t make it. It’s nothing you can’t handle. I swear. Mostly just spotting the students. I’ll take care of the rest.” His mouth curled into a wide, toothy smile. “Please.”

“I’m not qualified.”

“I literally just need someone there to spot and observe.”

I reached for a slice of meat lovers and took a big bite, ignoring Elliott’s pleading stare as I chewed. He knows I’m in-between projects right now so there’s no reason I can’t help. And if I say no, he’ll just drive me crazy until I say yes.

“Fine, but just Sunday and Monday.”

“Thank you.”

“But understand that you owe me.”

“Maybe a room full of sexy women will be payment enough.”

I shoved the rest of my slice into my mouth before I could tell him that’s more of a deterrent than an incentive.