Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sophie
I swirled the wine in my glass, watching the deep red liquid cling to the sides before settling. While the ladies enjoyed the charcuterie board Keera had skillfully put together, I stuck with my liquid diet. I lost my appetite somewhere between Brooklyn and this moment
“So, let me get this straight,” Keera said, leaning forward in her chair. “You and Jamie are on a break?”
I nodded, taking a sip of wine to buy myself a moment.
“I told him we should take some time to figure out what we both want. This thing with Rob...it's not the first time it's come up, and I'm worried it won't be the last.”
Anjannette reached out, squeezing my hand.
“Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.”
“I love Jamie. I really do,” I admitted, feeling the sting of tears. “But I can't worry that he’ll freak out every time Rob and I are together.”
Shannon nodded sympathetically.
“It's a tough situation. You and Rob have managed to forge a friendship after your divorce, and that's amazing. But I can see how it might be hard for Jamie to navigate.”
I sighed, setting my glass down.
“I get that, I do, but Rob is the father of my children. He's going to be in my life forever. Anyone I end up with has to be comfortable with that fact.”
The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of my words hanging in the air. Then Anjannette cleared her throat.
“Sophie, can I play devil's advocate for a second?”
I nodded, bracing myself.
“I think it's wonderful that you and Rob have such a good relationship post-divorce. It's healthy for the kids, and it speaks volumes about both of you as people. But think about how you would feel if the tables were turned. What if Jamie had an ex-wife he was still close with, who was always around?”
I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it again. The truth is, I haven’t considered it from that angle.
“I'd understand,” I finally said, but even to my own ears, the words sounded uncertain.
Keera leaned in, her eyes soft with understanding.
“Would you, though? Really? Because I've got to tell you, when Simon's ex showed up out of the blue last year, it freaked me out. And I know Simon loves me, I know there's nothing between them anymore. But those insecurities aren’t always rational.”
I felt a twinge of guilt.
“But Jamie's met Rob. He's met my kids, my family. If there was something between Rob and me, would I be that open?”
“I don't think Jamie believes you and Rob are fucking or anything,” Anjannette said. “But there's a whole history there, an emotional bond that goes beyond just co-parenting. That's got to be intimidating.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Cut Rob totally out of my life?”
I slumped back in my chair, feeling drained.
“No one's saying that,” Keera said. “But maybe there's a middle ground? A way to reassure Jamie without compromising your relationship with Rob?”
I ran a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling up.
“But why should I have to? Why can't Jamie just trust me?”
Anjannette topped off my wine glass.
“Trust isn't always easy, especially when you've been hurt before. Has Jamie talked about his past relationships?”
“He hasn’t given me details, just alluded to the fact that he's been cheated on before.”
Shannon nodded.
“That kind of betrayal leaves scars. It's not about you, Sophie. It's about his past experiences coloring how he sees things now.”
I took a long sip of wine, letting their words sink in. As much as I wanted to argue, to defend my position, I couldn't ignore what they’re saying.
“I get that, but it doesn't change the fact that Rob is always going to be in my life. If Jamie can't handle that…”
“Then maybe he's not the right guy for you,” Keera finished. “But Sophie, are you sure you're not drawing this line in the sand and pushing him away because you're scared?”
I blinked, caught off guard by her question.
“Scared of what?”
“Letting someone in completely. Risking your heart again.”
“That doesn’t make sense. I’ve already let him in, risked my heart,” I said, gesturing with my wine glass. Before I sloshed it all over me, I set it on the table. “Hell, I told him I loved him.”
“And you followed that up by telling him you’re taking a break.”
Her words hit me like a physical blow. Was that what I was doing? Pushing Jamie away before he had the chance to hurt me?
“I don't know,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
Shannon reached out, taking my hand.
“Look, no one's saying what you're feeling isn't valid. It is. But relationships are about compromise, about understanding each other's fears and insecurities. Have you really given Jamie a chance to work through his?”
I thought back to our conversation in Brooklyn, to the look in Jamie's eyes when he told me what was bothering him. Had I been too quick to put up walls?
“I've been so focused on protecting my family, maybe I haven't really considered Jamie's feelings.”
Anjannette nodded encouragingly.
“That's understandable. You're a mom first, and that's how it should be. But if you really love Jamie, maybe it's worth trying to find a way to make it work.”
I took a deep breath, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside me.
“Maybe I've been so caught up in my own perspective that I haven't really tried to see things from Jamie's point of view.”
Keera smiled.
“So what are you going to do?”
I looked around at my friends, feeling a surge of gratitude for their honesty and support.
“Right now, I’m still going to give us both some space to think.” They looked concerned by my words. “His issue with Rob isn’t going to just go away and if we’re meant to be together, a few days isn’t going to break us.”
Jamie
I pulled up outside the Booth residence and spotted Elliott leaning against his car in the driveway. After taking a fortifying breath, I killed the engine and stepped out of the truck.
This is the last place I want to be, but Tuesday night dinner is sacred. It’s the one thing Maggie asks of us, and I couldn't bring myself to disappoint her just so I could sit home and lick my wounds.
“What the fuck?”
“Don’t start Elliott.”
His eyes narrowed as he fell into step beside me.
“Do you want to tell me exactly what happened with Sophie?”
“I already did,” I muttered, quickening my pace toward the front door.
He’d texted me and in a moment of weakness, I told him what happened. Then I told him I wanted to be alone to think and surprisingly, he’d respected my wishes. But I knew he’d grill me about it tonight.
Before he could say anything else, I opened the front door and stepped inside the house. The rich aroma of garlic made my mouth water, and despite my bad mood, I smiled. Maggie’s cooking always has that effect.
“Perfect timing,” Maggie said from the stove.
I walked over and planted a kiss on her cheek. She didn’t miss a beat transferring what looked like chicken piccata from the pan to a platter.
“Do you need help?” I asked.
“No. You can go sit down. This is the last of what I need to bring in.”
Elliott gave her a kiss then followed me to the dining room where the rest of the family was already sitting. We settled into our usual seats.
“Nice of you two to show up,” Eddie said.
Elliott stuck his tongue out at his brother, but before anything else could be said, Maggie swept in with the steaming platter and set it down in the middle of the table.
We passed the food around and each filled our plate with chicken, pasta, and broccoli. My growling stomach reminded me that the last thing I ate was a brownie Saturday night.
“So Jamie, did you enjoy the rest of your weekend with Sophie?”
I swallowed hard and forced a smile.
“I did. And thank you again for the brownies. They were delicious.”
“I'm so glad you enjoyed them.” Maggie beamed. “You know, I really like Sophie. I'm so happy you two found each other.”
I focused intently on cutting my chicken, feeling Elliott's eyes boring into me. Finally, I looked up, meeting his eyes. He arched his left eyebrow and I narrowed my gaze. Elliott widened his eyes, then squinted. I furrowed my brow and he answered by tilting his head slightly.
As far as I’m concerned, this “conversation” is over. I shrugged and looked down at my plate. Elliott cleared his throat and when I didn’t look at him, he did it again, this time obnoxiously loud.
“What’s going on with you boys?”
When Maggie uses that tone, I still feel like an errant ten-year-old.
“Actually, Mom,” Elliott started, then stopped when I glared at him.
“Sophie and I are on a break,” I said before he could.
The table fell silent and I felt everyone's eyes on me.
“Oh, honey,” Maggie's voice was soft. “What happened?”
I sighed and set down my fork then took a long drink of water.
“It’s complicated.”
“In what way?” she asked.
“Her ex-husband is still very involved in her life and that’s causing some issues between us.”
Saying it out loud made me feel a little foolish. So what if her ex was around? It’s obvious they’re just friends. But even though that’s true logically, I can’t help the way I feel deep inside.
Eddie cleared his throat.
“That's a tough one."
“Relationships take effort, Jamie,” Eileen said. “You can't just run at the first sign of trouble.”
“She’s been married five minutes and now she’s an expert,” Elliott said.
“I didn’t run,” I said. “I told her my concerns and she suggested we take a break to think.”
“Well, I'm positive you two will figure this out. It's obvious you're crazy about each other,” Maggie said, ever the optimist.
“I hope so,” I murmured.
“So what’s your plan?” Elliott asked.
“I’m not sure.”
“I think if you just talk to her, you’ll work it out,” Eddie said.
“Talking to her is what got me into this.”
“Tell her about your past,” Eileen chimed in. “Maybe she’ll be more understanding.”
“Maybe.”
“It's tough, man. But you'll figure it out,” Eddie said.
I nodded then picked up my fork.
Their support is touching, but it also intensified the ache in my chest. As they returned to their meals, resuming their chatter about work, upcoming plans, and Eileen’s house search, I pushed the food around on my plate as my mind raced with thoughts of Sophie and the conversation that had led us to this break.
I’d been honest about my concerns, but countless times over the past two days I’ve questioned whether or not I should have shared them. But if I hadn’t, my unease would have just festered.
I’ve been in too many relationships that were off in some way, where I swallowed my concerns to keep peace, only to watch them crumble anyway. Usually because my instincts had been right. With Sophie, I want things to be different. I want things to be right. We can’t build a future on a foundation of unresolved issues.
Hopefully this break, as painful as it is, will help us figure out how to balance our relationship and her family life, which includes Rob. And if it doesn’t…well, I’ve survived breakups before.
But the thought of losing Sophie cuts deep. Yet, I know that for us to have a real shot at a future together, we need to address these issues head-on and consider how we can make things work in a way that respects both our needs. And if we can't find that balance? Well, at least I'll know we tried. Our love is worth fighting for, but it's also worth being realistic about.