Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sophie
I pulled my leggings up over my aching legs, the back of my right knee stinging as the material brushed against it.
“I’m going to bathe my right leg in arnica cream when I get home,” I said.
We’d really pushed ourselves today, working hard to perfect the dangerous bird to Russian layback. For most of the hour, I’d held onto the pole with my right leg and I feel like all the skin behind my knee is gone.
Obviously that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it does hurt like hell.
“But first, tacos and margaritas,” Anjannette said from behind me.
“I’m starving,” I said as I slipped into my T-shirt. “I swear I’m ordering one of everything on the menu.”
Keera chuckled.
“That’s a bit excessive, don’t you think?”
“Okay, only half the menu.”
I grabbed my bag and followed them out of the studio. Anjannette paused to lock the door, then we headed out of the building. The humid night air hit us immediately. It’s been excessively hot this summer, and even at 9pm, it hasn’t cooled down.
As we walked toward our cars, Anjannette shot her arm out, stopping me short.
“Sophie,” she said, her voice low.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, then followed her gaze to the parking lot.
My heart skipped a beat, then started pounding when I saw Jamie leaning against the front of his truck. The sight of him twisted my stomach into knots.
I turned to Anjannette and Keera.
“I’ll meet you at Italo’s,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
They exchanged a quick glance and nodded, then walked to their cars, leaving me to face Jamie alone. As I walked towards him, I fought the overwhelming urge to run into his arms and never let go. I’ve missed him so much. Two weeks of silence has felt like an eternity.
“Can we talk?” he asked when I stood directly in front of him.
His voice sounded sad and uncertain, so I have no idea what he’s about to say. Either way, this is a conversation we need to have. I nodded, not trusting my voice.
He followed me to the passenger side of his truck and opened the door. I climbed in and he closed the door behind me before making his way to the driver’s side. The fact that he’s rubbing the back of his neck tells me he’s as nervous as I feel.
Once he was settled in the driver's seat, he turned to face me.
“I've missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
I could have added that missing each other doesn’t solve the problem, but didn’t. He said he wanted to talk, so I’ll let him lead this conversation.
He took in a deep breath and let it out then turned sideways to face me.
“I’ve hinted at the fact that some of my issues stem from my past, but I never really gave you specifics. You know a bit about my parents and that I’ve been cheated on, but I owe you the full story.”
That said, he began to tell about his childhood, a painful story that made my heart ache. His parents' volatile relationship, marked by constant fighting and infidelity. His father's cocaine addiction and alcoholism, his mother's dependence on pills and alcohol. The memory of coming home at eight years old to find his father with another woman on the couch. The confusion of their relationship swinging between explosive fights and passionate reconciliations. The way they either ignored him or mentally and sometimes physically abused him.
“One time,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, “they went away for a weekend and left me alone in the house. I was nine.”
I wanted to reach out, to comfort him, but I knew he needed to get this out. So I sat silently, my hands clenched in my lap as I blinked tears away.
“Maggie knew how messed up things were,” he continued. “She’s never admitted it and I never asked, but someone called Child Protective Services and I assume it was her. But despite being train wrecks, my parents were upper middle class and could pull it together to put on a good show when necessary. And no one asked me if anything bad was happening. Even if they did, I’m not sure what I would have said.”
He shifted his eyes toward the windshield and didn’t speak for what seemed like an eternity. When he did start talking again, he kept staring straight ahead.
“After that, Maggie started inviting me over all the time. She made up a variety of reasons for me to stay there. Elliott had bunk beds in his room and eventually I pretty much moved in.”
“Your parents didn’t care?”
“Sometimes they pretended they did and I’d go home. But within a day or two, I’d be back at the Booth house. I loved it there. They showed me what a family could be and I wanted a life like that. But somehow, I ended up with women who cheated or wanted me to change.” He chuckled. “One of my girlfriends in high school told me that the reality of me doesn’t match the idea of me.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“She must have been partially right because all my relationships ended the same.”
My heart broke as he told me about his ex-fiancée, who had gotten pregnant by someone else.
“At least she came clean and didn’t try to pass the baby off as mine.”
Finally, he turned to look at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
“Sophie, I love you, but these old wounds go deep. I didn’t understand how deep until now.”
I nodded and wiped away a tear that escaped.
“I’ve missed you so much. These past two weeks have been hell,” he said. “And I've spent most of that time thinking about you and Rob. I get it, why he's around so much, and I respect it. I wish my parents had been that devoted.”
Jamie’s words hung heavy in the air, the weight of his past pressing against my heart. His childhood, his betrayals all made me understand why Rob’s presence is a thorn in his side. But understanding doesn’t make the issue totally go away.
I can’t help but worry that every time Rob is around, Jamie would feel that familiar sting, and it would chip away at our relationship.
“I hate everything you just told me, Jamie. I had no idea,” I said softly, placing my hand over his. “But I need to know that despite all that, you can handle being part of my crazy life. Otherwise, we should probably end this now.”
Jamie
Sophie’s words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of her concern. Her hand on mine was warm and comforting, but her eyes held a challenge I knew I had to meet. My heart ached, but I knew she was right. She needed reassurance that I could handle this, that I could be a part of her life without letting my past dictate our future.
Taking a deep breath, I shifted closer to her.
“Sophie, I understand your concern. My past isn’t pretty, but it's taught me what I really want in life. And for the first time, I truly believe I can have that.”
I turned my hand over and curled my fingers around hers and squeezed gently.
“I won't bury my head in the sand and think it'll always be easy. There might be times when my insecurities rear their ugly head. But I promise you that I'm committed to working through them. To being the man you deserve, the man who can handle your beautiful, crazy life.”
I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes and it encouraged me to continue.
“These past two weeks without you have been hell. They've shown me that whatever challenges we might face, they're nothing compared to the pain of not having you in my life. I want to be part of your world, Sophie. All of it. The kids, the ex- husband, the whole package. Because I love you, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work.”
Her shoulders relaxed slightly, but she remained silent.
I took a deep breath, realizing this was my moment to lay it all out there.
“I was afraid that with Rob around there wouldn't be room for me in your life.”
Sophie's eyes widened then softened.
“Oh, Jamie?—”
“Since I’m on a roll here, let me finish.” I held up a hand, smiling slightly. “Once I faced that that was a big part of the issue, it became easier to overcome. I know there's room for me in your life, Sophie. I just need to be brave enough to take that space.”
She smiled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“There's always room for you, Jamie. Always.”
I felt a weight lift off my chest at her words.
“I'm glad to hear that because I want to be part of your life, your family. I love you, Sophie.”
“I love you too.”
I pulled her over the console and across my lap. We met in the middle and I let out a low groan as our lips touched. The kiss started slow, but quickly heated up as our mouths opened and closed in a steady rhythm, tongues tangling. We got lost in the moment, in each other.
A horn honked in the distance, reminding me of where we are. I slowly ended the kiss and pulled back just enough to look at her. We sat there, lost in each other’s eyes and I felt content in a way I’ve never known. Then her expression changed.
“What?”
She took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before speaking.
“I talked to Rob about us. He offered to back off, even suggested he’d skip the Sea Isle trip if it would help.”
My heart tightened at the thought of disrupting her family’s routine.
“Sophie, I don’t want that. I don’t want Rob to feel like he has to step back for us to work. I just want to be part of your life, your family, without feeling like I’m in competition.”
She nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“That’s what I needed to hear, Jamie. Rob will always be in my life because of the kids, but I want you to be there too. I want us to be a team.”
I cupped her face in my hands.
“I’m all in, Sophie. I love you, and I’m ready to be a part of your life, your family, your future.” Just as I was about to lean in for another kiss, her stomach let out a loud growl. We both burst out laughing. “I guess I better feed you before that happens again,” I teased, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Tonight is taco and margarita night,” she said. “Anjannette and Keera are probably dying to know what’s happening here.”
“Tacos and margaritas sound perfect.”
I shifted her off my lap and she settled into the passenger seat. As she clicked her seatbelt into place, she looked at me with a soft smile.
“You know, I write romance for a living, but I’m not sure I could have ever come up with a story like ours.”
I chuckled, starting the engine.
“Not even with all your bestselling author skills?”
She shook her head, eyes twinkling.
“Nope. Reality beats fiction this time.”
“Well then,” I said, pulling out of the parking lot, “I guess we'll just have to keep living it. Chapter by chapter.”
Sophie leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“I like the sound of that.”