Chapter 22 #3
It’s better this way.
It has to be better.
“Why?” His voice breaks. “Why? I’ve offered you everything—”
“Because I can’t give you anything!” My chest heaves as we stand there staring at each other. “I can’t.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?”
Looking him in the eye is beyond me right now.
“It’s not just me. We’re not all monsters.
There are those among the Wraithenkind who deserve a chance to live their lives free of this curse.
There’s a blight afflicting our kind, a twist of the curse that is killing us.
And… Soraya….” I gesture toward her, still seeing that dark mottling on her skin. “I was going to get it back for you.”
But even as I say the words, I can’t help sensing how pathetic they sound.
His expression closes over, and he gives a bitter laugh. “I was a fool once. And I knew when you walked into my dreams again I was taking the risk that I would be a fool again, but I didn’t truly believe….” He shakes his head. “Thank you. For making it very clear to me what your intentions are.”
I’ve lost him.
Forever.
And it hurts, even though a part of me knew it was never going to be.
That’s the cost of hope—you know it’s a lie and yet you still want it. You still want to believe its gentle whispers. You see a single reason to believe in it, and your heart throws itself wholeheartedly into the cause.
“I’m sorry.” The whisper steals over my dry lips. I don’t know whether it’s the look in his eyes or the steel in his voice that hurts the most. “I’ve warned you dozens of times. I tried to tell you—”
“Tried what?” he snaps. “Tried to tell me the truth? Was that before or after you kissed me? Before or after you fucked me?” He breathes out an incredulous laugh. “Did you even want me, or were you just trying to lure me where you wanted me?”
“You make me sound like some sort of conniving witch.” It’s just one blow after the other. “I kissed you because….”
His gaze sharpens with savage intensity, and he leans closer. “Because… why?”
It’s all there in his face. The want. The need. The… hope.
“Because I wanted you,” I breathe. “Because for once in my fucking life I wanted to pretend it could be this way. You want to know the truth?” My voice lifts, right there at the end.
“I know what my future holds, and it’s not you.
But I just wanted to believe in it for a moment.
Every time you kissed me… I couldn’t stop you.
I couldn’t stop you because I wanted you too much.
And I hate it. I hate that you make me feel this way.
” The words come thick and choking. “I’m a wraith-born bastard of a murderous king.
I don’t belong in this world, Keir. I don’t belong in your world. ”
I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, turning away from him. It’s better this way. It has to be better.
“Mira—”
“No.” I hold out a hand, cutting him a sharp look.
“I have a job to do. That’s all that remains between us now.
And my half brother is still out there with his murderous little sycophants.
” I can’t stop the tide of anger rising within me.
“I’m done running. I’m so fucking done. You want to help?
Then get her out of here!” I shove Soraya into his arms.
Keir flashes me a heated look. “Mira—”
“Don’t.” I press my fingers to his lips.
There’s no time to talk about what could have been or what we both want.
It was a dream. It was always a dream. And girls like me don’t get to live those kind of dreams. “Just get her out.” And then I say the one word I’ve never allowed myself to let past my lips. “Please.”
“You’re leaving me with him?” Soraya demands, as if she’s well aware he still hasn’t forgiven her for trying to kill him.
“I trust him.” I stare into his eyes. “He won’t hurt you. I know he won’t hurt you.”
It’s a breathtaking moment.
Because it’s the truth.
I trust him.
Even if he can’t trust me.
Keir glances toward the rocks behind me. The look he gives me is absolutely furious. “And what are you going to do?”
I gesture with Soraya’s goblin-forged blade. “I’m going to kill Ruhle.”
Soraya grabs my wrist, hauling me toward her with a strength I didn’t expect. “You can’t. He’s the heir apparent. Father will destroy you.”
These are dangerous games.
I rub my thumb over the hilt of her dagger. Ruhle is my father’s favored child. What Soraya’s saying has merit. Father won’t care if Ruhle attacked us.
But I care.
I am done playing these games. “Maybe it’s time for a new heir then?”
I’ve never been ruthless enough to kill easily. Not the way Ruhle and Soraya are.
I’ve never wanted to before.
But as my hand closes over the hilt of the blade, it’s surprising how easily it fits there. I have nothing left but this.
“Zemira!”
“Complicated,” I grind out, taking a step back into the forest. “I’ll tell you everything. I promise I’ll tell you everything when I return. Keep her safe for me,” I beg Keir. “I’ll take care of them and then come back to you. I promise. I promise.”
And then I Sift out of existence, before either of them can grab me.