Chapter 2
two
DAVIS
It’s dark in my room.
The blackout curtains are drawn, shielding me from the morning light. I hate when it’s bright out, and I hate that I love this darkness. When it’s dark, people can’t see anything. They can’t see what’s right in front of them.
I learned a long time ago that you don’t actually have to be happy to make people think you are.
I used to play a game when I was a kid, where I would stand in my bathroom at night and see how fast I could switch on a smile. Tears would be running, and the most painful expression would be on my face, but as soon as I switched that light on and off… I would be a smiling, happy, perfect kid.
Eventually, I got really good at it.
I got so good, in fact, that I was able to hide everything from my mom after dad left. She was already so sad that he was gone, I couldn’t bear to make it worse by forcing her to watch me struggle.
Doing it in front of my mom made it easier to do in front of other people, and now there’s not a single person who knows my deep, dark secret besides my mother.
She used to say I was given beauty to mask the pain, with pitch black hair that lay in messy waves, and bright green eyes that stare back at me with nothing when I look in the mirror. No feeling, no life. I look like her in every way, you’d never know I also came from him.
The girl from last night yawns, and she shuffles in my bed for a moment before I feel her hand wrap around my waist. “Good morning.” Her voice is just as seductive as it was last night when she whispered nasty things in my ear and had me rocking a hard-on in the middle of my damn living room.
The light-switch flips in my head, and I turn to look at her, “well hello,” I grin.
She makes quick work of jumping on top of me and grinding herself on my cock, forcing a groan to rumble in my chest. Her soft, full lips come down on mine before I have the chance to think.
“You didn’t let me taste you last night,” she whispers, nipping at my ear. “I wanted you down my throat so badly.”
If I wasn’t hard before, I definitely am now.
She bites down on the base of my neck, quickly soothing the spot with her tongue while I have the same internal battle as always.
Don’t get me wrong, the thought of her taking me in her mouth and sucking me off first thing in the morning is appealing as fuck.
I’m a single guy in college, I think with my cock and only my cock, I’m not ashamed of my sexuality one bit…
but after partying it up last night, my social battery is tapped out.
The thought of having to portray my fun self for even a second longer makes my head hurt.
I want some time alone before I have to build the walls back up and face the day.
Before I have to face my friends.
It’s not that I think they wouldn’t be supportive if they knew, they’re some of the best guys I know, but I can’t help the feeling that claws at my chest when I think about the look people give me any time they find out.
The look that says ‘I’m gonna view you in a very different way now’.
“As appealing as that is,” I say, a hard edge to my voice that I don’t mean to have, “you really should get going.”
She sits up, hands planted on my chest. Those pretty pink lips of hers are tinted red from all the sucking, and they’re pulled into a tight frown. “Are you telling me no?” She scoffs, “no one ever tells me no.”
And the hard-on’s dead.
I don’t like cocky girls, they piss me off. Confidence is one thing, when a girl is confident in herself, it can be the sexiest thing ever, but the moment a girl acts like she’s better than everyone else… I’m running in the opposite direction.
Getting laid isn’t a problem. Finding a girl who might actually make me happy? That’s the problem.
Unfortunately for me, I fell head over heels the very first day at this fucking school. One look at Sasha Price and I was a dead man, condemned to trying to fuck her out of my head and failing miserably.
The crowd around me buzzes with excitement. Students pack their things into giant bins and wheel them into the dorms, give tearful goodbyes to loved ones, and run around trying to find their friends… all while I stand here like an idiot with no clue where to go.
I got a message from someone on the hockey team, and the only reason why I know they’re from the hockey team is because I checked the email list to confirm.
Getting kidnapped on my first day of freedom isn’t exactly ideal.
They told me to meet them in the quad after I get settled in, but I messaged them a half hour ago and I still don’t see them anywhere.
I feel like an idiot. What if this is some sort of hazing ritual and I’m the sucker who actually fell for it?
They’re probably laughing at me, making fun of the kid who thought that maybe he could actually make some decent friends on his first day of school.
“Yo!” Someone yells from behind me.
I whip around, half expecting to be told to get out of the way, but instead I’m greeted by three dudes.
The blonde one nods in my direction, “you Davis?” He asks.
“Yeah,” I say cautiously. This could still be some mean prank, so I take the time to assess each one of them to calculate my odds of survival.
The blonde one is tall, but not much taller than I am. He’s built like a brick wall, but there’s something kind of inviting about him. Although I get the sense that he tries not to seem too welcoming.
The one to his left is like looking in a mirror. His black hair and green eyes are almost a complete reflection of myself, it’s kinda freaky. He’s shorter than both me and the blonde next to him, but still intimidating nonetheless.
To the blonde’s right, a guy with light brown, messy hair greets me with a smile.
He’s the shortest of all of us, and arguably the least intimidating.
He seems warm, welcoming, like he’s kind and soft to everyone he meets.
It kinda makes me wonder what he’s like on the ice —assuming he’s part of the hockey team.
“I’m Joshua,” the brown haired guy offers, “ but you can call me Miller. I’m the one who messaged you yesterday.”
Okay, so maybe not a prank.
“Do you all play on the team?” I ask.
“We do,” my reflection nods, “Blair, by the way.”
I tilt my head, “nickname or real name?”
He smirks, “does it matter?”
Fair enough.
Blair elbows the blonde, “this is Lucas, he’s a dick, but he’ll warm up to you.”
Yeah, cause that’s reassuring.
An awkward silence stretches out for a couple moments before I cut through it, “so, did you all know each other before?”
Lucas shakes his head, “no. Blair and I have been best friends since we were in kindergarten, but we just met Miller.
We tried to get this other freshman-“ Blair elbows Lucas in the stomach, causing him to glower at his friend before correcting himself.
“Sorry, Miller tried to get this other freshman —August— to come meet us here too, but he said no.”
“Guy doesn’t seem like he’s in the market for new friends, his message was just the word no.” Miller smiles, but I can tell that it kinda hurt his feelings. “That’s okay though, his loss.”
“Lucky bastard,” Lucas mutters.
I manage to hold in my laugh, but Blair catches my almost slip-up and grins. “Told you he’s a dick.”
“Shut up, I am not.” Lucas retorts.
“You so are, and that’s okay. Own it.”
I don’t really know what I think about these guys, they’re kind of a mixing pot of personalities, but something in my gut tells me that they’re gonna make great friends.
The two of them bicker, but I barely register what they’re saying because the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen walks past us.
Her long black hair is tied up in a half-assed bun on the top of her head, and the second she looks up from the campus map in her hands, the wind gets knocked clean out of me.
She has the brightest grey eyes I’ve ever seen, I didn’t even know that colour existed until right now.
Her features are sharp, cut in perfect angles and gorgeous curves to create the most beautiful face to ever exist. She’s covered in tattoos, all of them different and unique in their own way.
I’m so caught up in staring at her that I don’t move out of her way when she goes to walk past me. She bumps into me, stumbling for a moment and making eye contact before looking away and muttering an apology under her breath.
As she walks away, I can’t help but watch.
“Did you guys just see that girl?” I ask, turning to the guys with my jaw hanging open.
“See what girl?” Blair looks around for a second before turning to me with his brows drawn together. “Who are you talking about?”
I don’t help myself though. No matter how hard I try to forget her, I always cave at the beginning of term, figuring out what classes she’s in, and then transferring into them.
Apparently, I’m a masochist.
And a stalker.
Sue me.
Why don’t I just talk to her you ask? Great question!
I lose every single brain cell packed in this thick fucking skull of mine the moment she’s within my sights, and it’s pathetic.
Not to mention I’m a giant pussy. I have three fucking classes with her this term, and yet I lose both of my balls whenever I try to talk to her. I can never think of something to say, and when I do, she scurries out of the lecture like her ass is on fire.
Fuck, her ass…
Not only does her body rock in every sense of the word, but that fucking face of hers is like a greek goddess and a pixie had a baby.
She’s got these pouty lips, gorgeous grey eyes, and cheekbones that could cut a man.
She’s got this long black hair, the kind that makes you wonder what it would feel like wrapped around your fist while she moans your name.
God, what I wouldn’t do to worship the ground she walks on.
I haven’t seen her in a week though, she’s been completely M.I.A. It’s so unlike her to skip classes, and the deep pit in my stomach tells me something isn’t right.