Chapter 23 #2
I draw it out, pushing her higher, giving her everything she wants. When she falls apart, she cries out, shuddering, covering her face with her palms like she’s embarrassed.
Her hands drop to my shoulders, nails digging into my skin, anchoring herself to me as the orgasm rips through her.
I kiss my way up her stomach slowly, waiting until her breath slows.
When I finally reach her, she lets out a shaky laugh and pulls me in, her arms wrapping around my neck. We lay there for a minute, listening to each other’s heartbeats.
“Do you always have to be so good at everything?”
I smile.
I want to say something clever, but all that comes out is a laugh.
She runs her fingers up and down my back, and somehow that feels more intimate than what we just did.
I spent months fucking other girls, trying to forget about her, trying to convince myself that I didn’t need her, and yet here I am… wondering why the hell I thought I could ever do that.
“Wanna go out and do something?” I ask, hoping she’ll want to at least hang out with everyone.
Shaking her head, she pulls the covers over herself. “Can we maybe just hang out here? I don’t feel like being around other people right now…”
“Whatever you need, Pixie.”
I’m curled up in bed, watching a movie with Sasha, when my phone rings.
I ignore it.
There’s not a single thing that can take me from this moment right now. Not after everything I just did to her.
She’s better than I could have ever imagined, and fuck did I imagine it. Every single whimper and moan made me wonder why I thought I could ever dream up a single scenario that would have ever come close to the real thing.
Cause damn, the real thing is fucking amazing.
My phone rings about two more times before I roll my eyes and grab it from the nightstand, slamming the ignore button and sending a text in response.
Me
Fuck. Off.
Lucas calls again. So I decline… again.
Me
Seriously dude, leave me the fuck alone. I’m busy.
Lucas St. Dickwad
Answer your fucking phone, Davis.
I’m serious.
Before I get the chance to type out a response, his name takes over my screen.
“You should just answer,” Sasha laughs, “he’s not going to stop.”
She’s right, he’s not. So I press accept and put the phone to my ear, ready to rip him a new asshole for bothering me right now.
All I wanted was to hang out with a girl who just rocked my fucking world without so much as breathing on my cock, and here I am, answering a call from my asshole of a roommate.
“We can’t find Claire,” Lucas says, his voice laced in panic.
Everything inside me sours.
The anniversary of my suicide attempt is next week.
She told me what today was, she told me that she would be fine… and I fucking forgot. I was so distracted with Sasha that I forgot about Claire.
Sasha grabs my hand, “everything okay?” Her brows pull together, and those beautiful grey eyes stare into my soul like she might be able to find the answers she’s looking for in them.
“Davis, please, I- I don’t know what to do, she isn’t picking up the phone and she was a god damned mess when she flew out of the house.” Lucas’s voice cracks, and that’s when I know I have to leave.
“Johnny?” Sasha asks, more concerned than before.
I jump out of Sasha’s bed and rush towards the door. Her footsteps falling close behind as I walk down the halls of her childhood home. “I’ll find her,” I tell him before hanging up.
“Johnny, what’s happening?” Sasha shrieks.
Shaking my head, I look over my shoulder, “Claire needs me.”
“But I need you too,” she chokes, stopping in her tracks. Tears fill those captivating eyes of hers and I pause. “You love her, don’t you?” She whispers.
Of course I love her, she went out in the pouring rain, crashed her car, and almost got herself killed just to save me. Claire Taylor saved my life. How could I not love her? “I do.”
I regret the words the second they leave my mouth, the look on her face is enough to make me want to fall to my knees.
Rushing up to her, I cup her face in my hands, “I promise it’s not in the way you’re thinking. There’s a bond between us that will never break. I owe her everything… even if it means leaving you right now.”
She puts her hands on my chest and pushes me away with more strength than I thought possible, “if you leave, I’ll never forgive you.
She may be your friend, but you’re—” She stops herself from finishing that sentence, from actually admitting how she fucking feels instead of running away from her feelings like she always does.
“I’m what?” I push, trying to get anything out of her. I know she loves me like I love her, but I can’t do this dance forever, not when Claire is out there needing me.
This dance we’re doing is fucking stupid. We’re together, whether she says it out loud or not, we’re fucking together.
“I like you, Johnny. I like you way more than I should, and if you leave…”
Please don’t make me choose between you two. Please don’t make me break your heart.
“If you leave, we’re done.”
The words crash against me in a wave of absolute astonishment. Sasha Price is the last person I ever expected to issue an ultimatum, let alone one about the girl who risked it all to make sure I made it home.
Anger crashes into me next. Before I can stop myself, I put my hands in my pockets and look her dead in the eyes. “I could never ask you to make that choice.” Her shoulders slump in relief, “so let me make it easy for you…”
I don’t want to do this.
My heart is being ripped out of my chest.
You’ll always own me.
Don’t let the ice crack beneath your feet.
It’s going to be okay.
“We’re done.”
I don’t wait around to see her reaction, and I don’t wait for her to say anything, I just walk out of the house. Part of me wants to turn around and explain everything to her, but Claire’s story is not mine to tell.
I love Sasha, but if she can’t understand that I wouldn’t be leaving unless it was serious, then she doesn’t deserve to understand at all.