41ADAM
41 ADAM
My phone buzzes in my pocket as I pull my truck into the single spot outside of the small industrial building that’s become my favorite Bell property. The feeling is triggering at first, taking me back to a time when the notifications never stopped. I would feel phantom buzzing in the shower, naked. I’d wake up in my sleep thinking my thigh was ringing.
That’s really damn weird.
Now, I almost smile because the vibration from my cell is actually noticeable, because the insanity has stopped.
I pull the device out to see Emerson’s name on the screen, accompanied by a photo of him and Shep flipping me off. Shep added this photo to Emerson’s contact without my consent.
Idiot.
My chest twists for a second.
Emerson Clark is one of my two best friends but he’s an introverted son of a gun who hates talking. He doesn’t even like to regularly text anyone except Sammy.
“Hello?” I answer as I put the truck in park.
“Hey, mate.”
He sounds so awkward I could laugh. I decide to help him out instead.
“What’s wrong?”
“Right. No. Nothing, exactly.” He pauses to think, classic Clarky.
I chuckle. “If you’re calling me, something’s up, man, what is it? Samantha okay?”
“Yes, all’s well, it’s not…well, the last time we spoke about you and Susan,” the words come slowly like they’re being painfully pulled from his tight throat. I clear my own and wait. “You said it was just a rough patch of sorts and that it’d all come right again.”
“Uh huh?” I don’t like where this is going.
“I’m not sure what the protocol is here…”
“Emerson. Just tell me what you called to tell me.” I urge, my voice sounding much calmer than I’m feeling.
“Well, it’s just she’s asked Samantha to set her up on the apps.”
“Apps?”
“You know, mate, dating apps. She says the divorce is going public next week and she’s ready to move on.”
“Wait.” I get out of the truck in a hurry, needing to pace. “Going public next week? She told Sammy that?”
“She did. And—” he lowers his voice. “The girls are setting her up on a few apps right now, Adam. They were up almost all night talking and woke up this morning on some matchmaking mission. As I’m talking to you they’re here in the other room at Kat’s place, giggling and carrying on.”
I start panting. “Dammit.”
“So, you have a plan, then?” He asks me. I sigh. I did have a plan. Sort of? “Bloody hell, Adam, you said you had a plan!” The fact that my very reserved, very British friend is whisper-yelling at me takes my anxiety up a notch.
“I did? I thought…Hell, I thought I’d have more time before she got around to dating!”
“She’s already dating, mate. Jenn’s apparently been sending her through a revolving door of blokes but n—”
“What!” I yell. I freeze and look up at the sky. “Well, shit!”
“Precisely.” I hear shuffling noises like he’s hiding in a closet or something. “I don’t know how Samantha would feel about me intervening but I know she loves you. We all love you both. So whatever your plan was, time to get a move on, yeah?”
“Wait. Just wait a minute.” I start pacing again. “I need…”
What do I need? Hell, what I need is a Class A, Ironclad Susan Canton-Bell checklist of action items, that’s what I need!
“Ugh. Okay, um, first, I need to know exactly what she said about the divorce papers and the announcement. And then…then I need you to get the guys together.”
“Like, on Zoom?”
“No, you nerd. Like here, now! Use your fancyass jet and get everyone over here.”
He sighs and I can hear the grimace on his face. “Is that really necessary?”
“I mean only if you want to help me save my damn marriage!”
“All right!” He settles himself. “All right. What will we tell the women?”
“Something other than that you’re coming to see me, that’s for sure.”
“Ugh,” he almost growls in frustration. He hates keeping things from his wife. He can build a giant ass bridge and get right the hell on over it. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Quickly. What you can do quickly. ”
“Yes, yes.”
“Starting with the press release, text me everything you find out about that, okay?”
“Right. Cheers then.” He hangs up on me, probably reaching his max for talking to another human being that’s not Sam.
I stare at the blank phone in my shaking hands. I have so many regrets. So many things I did wrong along the way but right now I know the moment I regret most.
I never wanted this!
I know what it sounded like. It sounded like I never wanted her.
And the biggest regret of my life is that after I accidentally let those words fly, I turned like the coward that I am and I left.
So what if I was angry and hurt and lost? So what if I told myself I was doing what she wanted? Giving her the freedom, the choice she didn’t have when we were kids?
So much stupid bullshit.
I was scared.
Eventually, the bitter fog started to clear and I started making plans but I was too slow.
And now…now she’s getting all done up and going out and flashing her gorgeous smile at someone else. Hell, how long since I made her smile? Ages.
Ugh.
Asshole.
This is what I deserve, someone else putting their hand on the small of her back. Someone else kissing her soft skin.
I close my eyes and picture Robert Smithson. Fucking Bobby.
They’re all Bobby in my head. And they all end up taking a baseball bat to the face in my imagination.
I tremble again like I did that day. After I made sure Susan was calm and not hurt, not scared anymore, I called the lawyers and had them send me her deposition. He put his mouth on her neck. My wife’s neck! After a few days stuck in the pool house, I snapped. Drove to little Bobby boy’s house and waited for him to pull up. Thank God Jon called me.
“Heard you skipped work. You’re not about to do something stupid and add to all this by getting arrested for assault, are you?”
I’m shaking now just like I was that day.
“Get it together, man.” I coach myself.
I take a few steps and unlock the modern garage door. Inside, I take a deep breath and feel better already.
She’s not going to end up with someone else.
I send an urgent text to multiple people about that press release. It cannot go out. That announcement feels like cement, sealing over us. The beginning of the end.
The lawyers text back quickly and assure me they’re on it.
I take a few deep breaths.
I’m going to finally tell her the truth.
I’m going to make it right.
I’m going to get down and beg on my knees like the spineless loser asshole wimp that I am.
And I’m going to…do other stuff. Romantic stuff? Hopefully the guys will have some ideas.
I look around the room, calming myself and thinking through the immediate steps I can take. The things I can tackle here and now in this room.
K. Time to get to work.
_____
“You know, I thought I’d be happy to see your ugly mug after all this time but now I’m not so sure.” Shep says as he steps out of the big black SUV.
“Don’t blame you.” I say but he smiles and almost runs to give me a hug.
“He’s lying, all he does is whine about how much he misses you.” Matt says as he comes in for a firm handshake.
I grin as Shep says, “Matty, you clearly never heard that snitches get stitches in your pretty boy upbringing and it shows.”
“You always say pretty boy like it’s an insult.” Matt replies, raising his brows and stroking his own jaw.
“These two always like this now?” I ask Emerson as he comes in for a handshake and a back slap.
“Shep has been particularly insufferable without you.”
“Lies.” Shep grouses. “Tell them I’m a delight, Nathaniel.”
“Insufferable is an understatement.” The giant known as Nate, Sally’s bodyguard turned boyfriend, agrees with Emerson after he gets out of the driver’s seat and locks the car. He reaches out his hand for a shake. Dennis —Dennis is here?—chuckles but says nothing as he walks up behind them.
“You brought the newbies?” I ask Shep and Emerson.
Dennis raises his hands in surrender, “I offered to stay behind, mate.”
“And as I told you already, DeLane, it would’ve looked suspicious.” Shep spits the word at Dennis but he’s grinning. They have clearly come a long way as friends since I’ve been around them together. Huh.
“We are supposed to be,” Matt makes air quotes, “Running man errands. ”
I offer my hand to Dennis and let out a small laugh. “What’s that mean, Home Depot?”
“Hell if I know.” Kat’s new man, and Sadie’s old one—awkward—replies. “I suppose we’ll have to stop and pick up something here to take back with us, yeah?”
“Yes and we can’t run errands for hours and the flight was 40 minutes so here we are, Cap,” Shep says to me, bringing back my college football nickname. He looks around at the street. My house—Susan’s house—is a few houses down. “This is weird.”
“I know.” I shake my head. I hate that I live here. But it’s been convenient and I like feeling close.
“But,” Shep shakes it off. “We’re here anyway, so, what’s the plan?”
“Well,” I run a hand over my face. “I need to fill you in on a few things.” Emerson and Shep glare. They’ve known me since college. They haven’t always been Susan’s brothers in law, but they’ve always been friends to us both. “Okay, a lot of things. Then I was hoping you could help me figure the plan out.”
“You’ve come to the right place.” Shep puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Pf! Hardly,” Emerson says under his breath.
“Hey, now! Y’all helped me. We helped Nate. And we helped Kat. We’re quite the brain trust.”
I groan and admit, “You’re the best I’ve got.”
“Yeah,” Dennis draws out the word with a grimace as Matt and Nate both wince next to him. “Mate, you’re fucked.”