43
I smile and send a text to my girls.
Susan: I think I found a winner!!!
Still blushing like a girl, I take out my phone and read the latest messages again.
Sooner89: What’s the rule for these messages?
BoomerSuener: What do you mean?
Sooner89: Like the three day rule for calling. We just chatted last night. Can I message you again today?
BoomerSuener: Oh, ha, I’m not sure what the rules are. But yes, you can.
Sooner89: good. I didn’t want to wait.
Sooner89: Good morning
BoomerSuener: Good morning! Lol was that the message?
Sooner89: No, here is the message
Sooner89: I had a blast texting with you last night, again. Can we possibly do it tonight, again?
BoomerSuener: Possibly
Sooner89: *So you’re telling me there’s a chance*
BoomerSuener: Nice. Dumb and Dumber
BoomerSuener: You know, you could be googling my movie references.
Sooner89: I could but we both know I’m not. Too fast.
BoomerSuener: True. I’ll text you tonight then. It’s a date. :)
Sooner89: :)
I switch from the app to my texts as the group text starts blowing up. I’ve kept them up to date on my prospects so far. I would say Kat’s illustration about the haunted house with the squatting creeper was…generous.
Sam: Let’s see him!!!!
Skye: First, let’s do our standard vetting process:
Skye: Is he hunting in his profile pic and/or holding up a carcass of some sort?
Susan: Nope
Sadie: How many cats does he admit to having, since experience has taught us he absolutely has more cats than publicly listed
Susan: Zero cats!
Sally: Have you confirmed he no longer lives with his mother.
Susan: I have.
Sam: Does his profile say he only wants hook ups?
Kat: For the record I still think you should consider that option…
Susan: No “DTF” type of stuff
Kat: Is his beard hair longer than your head hair?
Susan: Well…
Skye: ABORT
Sam: Unless…ew…Duck Dynasty vibes do something for you!?
Susan: LOL NO.
Skye: Thank the Lord.
Sally: I cannot have a brother-in-law with food bits in his Moses beard.
Sadie: Slow your roll Sal, no one is getting married!
Susan: Agreed.
Kat: Why can’t you give us a clear yes or no on the beard sitch?
Susan: Remember it’s anonymous!
They all send various emojis, from anxious face, to thumbs down, mostly there are a lot of exclamation marks.
Sadie: LVR is designed for the rich and famous, which is you, for sure.
Kat: Aren’t the app fees for that one outrageous?
Sally: I believe that’s the point.
Skye: No one she matches with on there is secretly living on their grandma’s futon
Susan: Exactly. But it means I technically haven’t seen his face yet.
Kat: So what have you seen!?
A new flood of emojis comes through, peaches, eggplants, eye balls, more punctuation. I can’t help but laugh.
Susan: We’ve only texted. But we’ve texted a lot. For days. And I’ve pulled a Sam and done some sleuthing…I think I know who it is.
Samantha: WAY TO BURY THE LEAD!!!!!!
Skye: I AGREE IN ALL CAPS
Kat: SAME!
Sadie: Who?
Sally: ??
Susan: It’s a guy from college. Pearce. He had the biggest crush on me back then
Sadie: I vaguely remember the name
Sadie: What makes you think it’s him?
Susan: Well the pool of people on this app that live in Oklahoma is small, and P runs his own business in OKC now. A food truck I think. Or food trucks, plural. This guy also runs a small business.
Susan: Described as tall and lean. Says he’s good with numbers but creative too and Pearce was a business major but he was also taking culinary classes. The guy I’m texting hasn’t said he owns food trucks but he’s sent me a couple photos of his meals and they always look amazing.
Susan: From what I saw on his socials over the years, he was engaged but it didn’t work out. Never married after that. No kids but likes kids. I just have this feeling it’s him.
Sadie: And is he rich or famous?
Susan: I think he might be social media famous
Susan: [link]
I send them Pearce’s Instagram link. He, and his food trucks, have a few hundred thousand followers. Not as much as me or most of my family but still, enough that he would join an app that offered some privacy.
Kat: He’s adorable!
Sam: When are you going to find out if it’s actually him?!
Skye: How long have you been texting?
Susan: Just a few days but get this!
Susan: He also talks in movie lines!
Kat: OMG it’s meant to be
My sisters are slower to respond than Kat, which I understand. They’re pretending to be on board. They’ve had months since my muttered confession at that movie event to come to terms with the end of my marriage. I guess it still hasn’t been long enough.
Skye: Wow. A match made in Nerd Heaven. So, if you know it’s him why not just message him on Instagram?
Susan: Because what if it’s not - then I’m randomly asking Pearce out after I haven’t seen him in fifteen years?!
Sadie: You could ask for more hints
Sam: Does HE know he’s talking to YOU?!
Susan: I bet he suspects. I said I work high up in retail, he knows I have three kids, Oklahoma. Sue is in my username
Sally: But anyone who knows you publicly believes you’re married
Susan: True but I said my divorce was pending due to publicity and he understood.
Kat: Your life is so weird
Susan: You’re going to be a DeLane, prepare yourself.
Kat: We’re never leaving our little town. Problem solved.
Sam: Ha! We’ll see what the DeLanes have to say about that!
Kat: They are not like the Clarks, Sam.
Skye: Guys. Back to Susan. When are you going to meet him?
Susan: I’m not sure. Maybe after talking on the phone? I think just texting anonymously is good right now. Feels safe but also fun and exciting.
Sam: Yay for fun! Take your time and just enjoy dating!
They all agree with Sam and I go about my work day. I get a few more cute messages from Maybe-Pearce throughout the day. It’s crazy how I feel from a few messages. I’m smiling, laughing, blushing, almost floating. I remember my sisters being like this when they started dating their now-husbands.
Jenn shoots me a look as we walk out of a meeting where I was…cheery.
I snort and look away.
Have I ever felt like this?
Adam and I didn’t get to do this. Flirt with the possibilities. Court each other willingly. Maybe I felt this way for a while on our honeymoon? Probably?
Either way, Sam is right. I can just enjoy this. It may go nowhere but it could also go somewhere. Talking then dating then…crap what happens then…sex?!
Calm it down, Suze.
No one is having sex yet.
Except for maybe Adam.
Ugh.
Has to be. The way he keeps coming by a few minutes early in the morning to get the boys. He was always grumpiest in the morning and now he seems…content? Almost smiley?
He’s grown his hair out a bit like the old days, styled his beard, and with how in shape he is now, it’s truly like he’s gone back in time. And he doesn’t even mess with Botox! I know most of the powerful and successful men that run in our circles get it, even though they all claim they don’t.
But it’s not just the looks.
Like the other day when he startled me coming in from the garage and I spilled my coffee and then cursed under my breath. I never used to cuss, ever. Chalk that up to the extreme fatigue and the stress of divorce maybe? But I let one fly and he paused in his tracks and chuckled.
Adam? Chuckling in the morning? Must be some amazing sex.
It hurts to think about.
Why am I thinking about this? Think about Maybe-Pearce!
I do, for the little snippets of the day where I am not totally focused and on and wrangling a million tiny factors of our business into order.
I finally make my way home just after five, ready to see the munchkins and cook some dinner. Meals are different now, without a man to cook for. I’d put that in the plus column. Twice this week the boys and I had cereal and sausage links for dinner. In fact maybe I’ll make that again to—
Adam?
In my front yard.
Hauling wood?
I park before reaching the garage, shut off my SUV and hop out.
“Adam? What’s going on?”
He grunts.
Sweat is pouring down his thick neck. His biceps, fully engaged as they haul a big beam over his shoulder, are glistening too. His dry-fit polo clings to his torso in all the right places, but loose at his newly-tapered-again waist that’s in…old ripped jeans. Above work boots.
Freaking boots?
When is the last time I saw him in something other than a suit or work out gear?
Not that either of those don’t look great too these days but this…I bite my lip.
I force myself to release the expression—which probably could be described as sex-starved—where even is my vibrator?—as he throws the huge wood plank down on the grass to respond to me.
“Boys’ swing set is rotting,” he says, his expression neutral but his eyes are…sparkling? Sneaking? Did he catch me checking him out?
“Okay and you’re rebuilding it? Now?” I ask slowly, processing.
“Yeah,” he slumps a bit, “Crap, I should’ve asked you first. I’m sorry.”
My mouth falls open.
The man who has been tormenting me, who’s fought every single decision in the divorce, every minute idea I’ve had, fought for more time with the kids, more access to come and go…he’s just casually apologizing now? What?
“Um, yeah. Yes. You should have. But I guess it’s fine. How long will it take?” I say, looking anywhere but his panting chest that’s trying to bust out of his sweat-soaked shirt.
“Few days.” He’s staring at me. I’m not meeting his eyes, or even looking in his general direction, but I feel his serious gaze penetrating my skin.
“Oh, uh, okay?”
“Is it?” he asks, and the smile in his voice makes me look up and finally meet his eyes.
Again with the grinning! His brown irises are glowing in the sunshine and I could swear the whites of his eyes are brighter? Damn. My eye drops never have me looking so awake. If I ever run into that girl he’s with I’m going to ask her for her secret. No, I won’t. Lord, I take that back please don’t let me ever run into her.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” I say quickly before climbing back into my car.
A few days with smiley Adam and his grunting and sweating. It’ll be okay.
_____
“I am not okay.” I whisper into my phone.
“Really? From a playset?”
“Jenn, he’s caught me staring at him three times! And every time I die, not only at being caught, not only because he looks away blushing, freaking blushing! Or sometimes he tries to hold my eyes and communicate something to me…all of that is terrible. Awful.”
“Stuff of nightmares sounds like.” She’s being sarcastic. Rude! I’m in crisis!
“Seriously! Remember this man has done nothing but reject me in recent years and now he keeps catching me ogling him like a puppy stuck inside while his owner is outside. Adam is the owner, outside hauling wood and using his big commercial grade equipment, I’m getting owned here.” Jenn snorts but I exhale. “But…beyond that, I die because it freaking hurts that he’s so happy with her.”
“Suze, you don’t even know if he’s still seeing that girl. Maybe it’s that he’s back to exercising. Or he’s just outside getting vitamin D, or—”
“I’ll tell you who’s getting the D, it’s that girl at the restaurant. Ugh.”
She laughs again. “If you want me to be serious you’re going to have to stop being hilarious.”
“It is serious. Because I don’t just miss…the D…which was amazing back in our day. I miss this guy, the guy out there laughing and playing with his kids and seeming exactly like the man I fell in love with. This is bad. I cannot miss him. I cannot cave in a moment of weakness while he’s lurking around our—my—house!”
“You won’t cave. You are not weak. Plus, think of how much you’ve paid your lawyers. That’ll strengthen you right up. What’s the latest with Maybe-Pearce? Why aren’t we talking about him?”
“He’s not currently glistening shirtless in the sun, chugging a water bottle and letting the water spill down his neck and onto his huge pecs on my back porch!” I whisper yell.
“Wow, this is bad. Step away from the window.”
“Right” I say, not stepping away at all.
“Susan? Did you back up? He’s going to catch you staring. Again.”
“Okay! Okay.” I finally obey.
“Tell me about Pearce.”
I nod and sigh, clearing my head. “He’s sweet. Funny. Driven but not quite as driven as me.”
“Is anyone?”
I chuckle. “Very funny.”
She mutters, “Seriously we can’t all be Cantons.”
I ignore her weird tone and explain, “As if you’re any better. I asked vaguely what his dream five year plan looked like for his small business, to see if he wants to add more locations or franchise out more trucks, that sort of thing. He said he likes the pace of life he currently has.”
“Well, wasn’t that a big problem with Adam, that you never saw each other? Maybe someone with a slower pace will be good for you.”
“Would you date someone who wasn’t, as you call us, a toxic achiever?”
She pauses to think. “Sure. As long as he didn’t want to slow me down, he can go whatever pace he wants.”
I can hear her hesitation. “But?”
“But I see what you’re saying. I don’t know if it can work when people are in two different seasons of their lives.”
“Is this about the love of your life who isn’t the love of your life because he has kids?”
Her tone goes from thoughtful to back to business in an instant. “This is about you not falling for your ex and giving Mr. Slow Poke a chance instead. When is your first date?”
“We’ve talked about it but I have that trip coming up and he’s also not in the same city. So, we’re thinking about the logistics of meeting somewhere in between when I get back.”
“Good, focus on that. And stay away from the windows.”
“You’re right. I will.” I nod.
“He’s got to be done soon right? He said a few days, it’s been a week.”
I inch closer to the window. “Yeah, tomorrow maybe? He’s working on it in pieces so I can’t tell.”
Almost like he’s dragging out the project…
I don’t say that to Jenn.
Because I’m afraid that I might want him to be dragging it out. And I shouldn’t want that. I can’t want that.
I step away just as Adam looks in my direction. I don’t know if he saw.
Doesn’t matter.
Adam is my past now.
I need to focus on my future.
As if on cue, my phone buzzes.
Sooner89: Stupid is
BoomerSuener: “as stupid does.” That was too easy!
Sooner89: How’s your day going?
BoomerSuener: OK, you?
Sooner89: Better now
Sooner89: What are you doing?
BoomerSuener: About to start on dinner
Sooner89: What’s on the menu
BoomerSuener: Don’t judge me.
Sooner89: I would never
BoomerSuener: Bagel Bites
Sooner89: Ha okay maybe I would
BoomerSuener: The boys love them
Sooner89: What about you?
BoomerSuener: Probably cereal.
Sooner89: I thought we established cereal is not dinner.
BoomerSuener: I know but I don’t have the energy to cook something else!
Sooner89: I hate to say this but…I think you should have the bagel bites
BoomerSuener: *Gasp*
Sooner89: Can I door dash you something? What sounds good?
BoomerSuener: Thanks but I’m not that hungry. I don’t know what I want.
Sooner89: What do you want…You want the moon?
BoomerSuener: “Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.” One of the greatest movies of all time.
Sooner89: It’s a classic.
Sooner89: If you think of something that sounds good will you tell me so I can get it for you?
BoomerSuener: Probably not
Sooner89: Ha! At least you’re honest.
BoomerSuener: Always. I’ll text you later?
Sooner89: Looking forward to it.
I smile as I head downstairs to the kitchen. I’m looking forward to it too.