Chapter 3 Nova
Nova
After I take a moment to regain control of my chaotic emotions, I let go of Rachel. Forcing a quivering smile to my lips, I say, “What can I do?”
She shakes her head. “You just being here is all I want.” Her fear-drenched gaze locks with mine. “Until the end, Nova. Please.”
My chin trembles badly as I nod.
“And after . . .” she sucks in a few shaky breaths as she fights to control her tears, “. . . I’m gone, I need you to be there for Lainey.”
Jesus. My heart.
I nod quickly while blinking like crazy to try and stop my tears.
Half of me wants to hide from the unfathomable thought of losing Rachel, and the other half is preoccupied with thoughts of what I can do to make things easier for her.
A smile trembles around her lips, then she says, “We should get you settled. Lainey will be home soon.”
“I just need to grab my luggage from the truck.”
I walk with Rachel to the front door while sucking in deep breaths of air. My heart feels like it’s hemorrhaging from the shock I’ve been dealt.
When we approach my truck, Rachel shakes her head. “God, Nova. I still can’t believe you drove all the way from Verona in this beaten-up old thing.”
Completely steamrollered by the news that Rachel has cancer, I can’t think of anything to respond with, so I just shrug.
As I haul my luggage from the passenger seat, she asks, “Only the one bag?”
“I left Trent in a hurry,” I admit. Just thinking about the man who’s made my life a living hell sends a shiver down my spine and has me wanting to curl into myself.
I have never kept any secrets from Rachel except for two. She has no idea about the abuse I suffered at Trent’s hands or the feelings I have for Easton.
She’ll be so disappointed to hear that after I got away from John, my first abusive boyfriend, I ended up with another bastard.
God, I sure know how to pick them.
After my past relationships that were so violent, I’m now jumpy around men. I don’t think I’ll ever date again. Just the thought of being alone with a man is enough to make panic grip my heart.
All the thoughts make me tremble, and I hope Rachel doesn’t notice while we walk back into the mansion. Again I feel intimidated by all the luxury and wealth. It’s like I’ve stepped into a different world where nothing makes sense.
As I follow Rachel up a staircase that has a cast-iron railing on the left side, I notice framed photos on the wall to my right. I glance over them, and seeing Easton in the photos reminds me who he is and that he’s coming home.
“So . . .” I clear my throat as we reach the landing and begin to walk down the hallway. “Um . . . Easton.”
Stopping by the first room on the right, Rachel looks at me with an arched brow. When she pushes the door open, she asks, “What about him?”
We step into a bedroom that robs me of my train of thought.
“Holy crap,” I whisper, gaping at the king-size bed with cream silk covers and pillows.
There’s a modern dressing table that has light bulbs all around the frame of the mirror, and to my left stands a five-tier shelf decorated with expensive-looking ornaments and two plants.
Moving forward, I avoid the fluffy cream carpet, not wanting to track dirt on it.
To my right is a walk-in closet that’s as big as the bedroom I shared with Trent.
The instant I think of the bastard, the panic and fear I’ve grown too accustomed to feeling tighten my insides.
Don’t think of him.
My own problems will have to take a back seat to what’s happening with Rachel.
“You have your own bathroom, and I’ve made sure it’s stocked with everything you might need,” Rachel says as she opens a door to my left.
I peek into the massive bathroom that looks like the ones I’ve seen in travel magazines when they showcase five-star hotels and resorts.
Not knowing what else to say, I murmur, “Thank you.”
She glances at my single piece of luggage. “We’ll go shopping soon for more clothes. My treat. It’s the least I can do for dragging you all the way to LA on such short notice.”
My hand flies up, and I wave it in a don’t-worry-about-it manner. “It’s fine. I don’t need anything.”
She lets out a sad-sounding chuckle. “You’ll have to get used to shopping because it’s one of Lainey’s favorite things to do.”
I set my luggage down near the foot of the bed and glance around the lavish room again.
“I’ll keep you company while you unpack,” she says, sitting down in an armchair near the window. “What did you want to say about Easton?”
“Oh . . .” Not wanting to put my luggage on the pristine white covers, I lay the bag on the floor and open it. “Will he be okay with me being here?”
“Of course.” A slight frown forms on her forehead.
I place my handbag beside my luggage before removing two dresses. Walking to the closet, I admit, “I’m just going to be straight with you. He’s a famous actor, and I don’t know what to do when I see him again.”
A burst of laughter escapes Rachel, and getting up, she walks to my open bag and grabs a sweater before coming toward me. “He’s still the Easton you knew back when we were in school.”
“I doubt that,” I mutter. I hang the two dresses, then glance at her as she places the threadbare sweater down on a shelf.
She gives me a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about Easton.”
Easier said than done.
Not knowing how to explain that I’m super nervous about seeing him, I let the subject go.
While we continue to unpack, I hear my cell phone beep like crazy with incoming messages. The sound instantly sends a wave of apprehension crashing through me, tensing every muscle in my body.
It’s probably Trent who’s noticed I’m gone. Crap, he must be so angry.
I stare at where my bag is on the floor, thinking how badly he’ll beat me for running away like this.
“Aren’t you going to check your phone?”
Ripped out of my thoughts, I quickly shake my head. “It can wait until later.”
Trent isn’t here, and he doesn’t know where I am.
I’m safe with Rachel.
Deep breaths.
“So, things are over between you and Trent?” Rachel asks. Staring at me, her eyebrows narrow. “What happened?”
With trembling hands, I place a small stack of leggings on one of the shelves.
All I want to do is run into my best friend’s arms and cry my heart out, but instead, I give her a generic answer. “Things just didn’t work out between us.”
Rachel has enough on her plate.
As I walk back to my almost-empty bag, we hear Lainey calling, “Mom, I’m home.”
“We’re in the guest room, sweetheart,” Rachel replies.
The moment Lainey barrels into the bedroom, a wide smile splits over my face. I only have enough time to open my arms when she slams into me.
“You’re here!” she exclaims happily.
I flinch hard from the ache in my ribs caused by the impact of her body hitting mine, and sucking in a harsh breath, I say, “Hey, sweet girl.”
We hug, and when we pull apart, she jumps up and down with excitement. “Mom and I made so many plans last night. We’re going to take you shopping and show you around LA. It will be so much fun!”
“But first, you’re going to do your homework,” Rachel reminds her daughter.
“Ugh,” Lainey grumbles with a disgruntled expression. “I don’t want to.”
God, she’s grown so much since I last saw her. I can’t believe she’s ten years old already.
I reach out to Lainey and comb my fingers through her long, straight hair that’s the same dark brown as Easton’s. “Go do your homework so we can have fun this weekend without having to worry about it,” I encourage her.
“Okay.” Her gray eyes shine up at me. “I’ll be quick.”
I nod and watch her jog into the hallway. As soon as she’s out of hearing distance, Rachel asks, “Why did you flinch when Lainey hugged you?”
Shoot.
I suck in a deep breath before I meet her gaze. “It’s nothing.”
She steps closer to me, her eyes narrowing on my face. “What’s nothing?”
I hesitate for a moment longer, but when she gives me a concerned look, I can’t stay silent any longer.
Darting forward, I throw my arms around her and bury my face against her hair, the wall crumbling down and unleashing a flood of tears.
“Nova?” she whispers, her tone tense with concern as she holds me tightly. “Talk to me.”
“Trent hurt me,” I squeeze the words out.
Rachel pushes me back a little, and her eyes dart over my face. “What do you mean he hurt you?”
Feeling ashamed, I slowly shrug off my sweater, and the moment her gaze lands on the angry marks on my bicep, shock tightens her features.
“Jesus, Nova!” Her gaze snaps back to mine. “Where else are you hurt?”
I walk to the door and shut it before I lower my head. With trembling hands, I grip the fabric of my dress and pull it up until my ribs are visible.
“Nova!” she cries, her expression horrified as she hurries closer to me. “Did you go to the emergency room? Did they take X-rays?”
“No. Nothing’s broken.” My voice sounds as fragile as I feel, but not wanting her to worry too much, I lie, “I’m fine. I promise.”
Her eyes flick to mine, anger filling them as she snaps, “It doesn’t look that way. We need to get you checked by a doctor.”
I take hold of her arm, and shaking my head, I give her a pleading look. “I’m fine. Really. I know what broken ribs feel like.”
She freezes, and a weird expression ripples over her face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I lower my head and wrap my arms around my middle. “I was ashamed, and our weekly calls were the highlight of my life. I didn’t want to ruin them with my problems.” I feel rotten as I add, “And after the crap with John, the last thing I wanted to tell you was that Trent was beating me too.”
“Oh, honey.” She wraps me in a tender hug, and being held as if I’m precious to her makes me feel safer than I have in a really long time.
“I’m okay,” I lie again. Between being abused by my ex-boyfriends and Rachel being terminally ill, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again. “I left him, so it’s over and done with. Please don’t worry.”
She pulls back to meet my eyes. “I wish you told me sooner.” Letting go of me, she asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor?”
“Yeah,” I chuckle awkwardly. “The bruises will be gone in no time.”
I put on the light sweater again and walk to my luggage to grab the last item. Once I’ve placed it on a shelf, I can’t help but notice how lost my clothes look in the massive walk-in closet.
Glancing at Rachel, I try to lighten the mood by joking, “I sure know how to pick them.”
She steps closer and tucks a few strands of my ginger hair behind my ear. “It’s not your fault, Nova.”
I shrug again and say, “You’ll be happy to hear I’ve sworn off dating. I’m done with the male species.”
“Honestly, remaining single was the best thing I could’ve done after I had Lainey.” Concern still fills her eyes. “Have you seen a therapist?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk to some stranger.”
Rachel rests her palm against the side of my neck. “I think you should consider seeing one. It would do you good to talk with a trained professional about the shit you’ve been through.”
Wanting Rachel to drop the subject, I mumble, “I’ll think about it.”
“Good. Let me know once you’ve made your decision. I’ll help you find the best therapist in LA.” She hooks her arm through mine, and we move toward the door. “Let’s get something to drink.”
When we step into the hallway, I think to ask, “Where’s your bedroom?”
She gestures to our right. “My room is next to yours, and Lainey’s is opposite mine. Easton’s bedroom is at the end of the hallway.”
As we take the stairs down and head to the kitchen, I struggle to control all the destructive emotions whirling in my heart.
My gaze drifts over Rachel, and once again, the bitter reality of her illness shudders through me.
With a quivering chin, I take a seat on one of the stools by the island and watch as she grabs two glasses from a cupboard and pours soda for both of us.
God, I need more strength to get through everything. Help me to be strong for Rachel.
I clear my throat and hate that there’s nothing else I can do but ask, “How are you holding up?”
Exhaustion and despair tighten her features. “I’m not. A million thoughts are constantly racing through my mind.” She glances in the direction of the stairs, then whispers, “There’s so much I have to get in order. Just thinking about dying is terrifying the living hell out of me.”
When she sits down beside me, I gently rub my palm over her forearm, hoping my touch will give her some comfort. “I’m here. Every step of the way.”
I have no idea how to make things easier for her, but I’ll somehow figure it out. I just have to.
All that matters now is Rachel, Lainey, and Easton.