8. Isla
ISLA
Iwake up to the sound of my own voice screaming, “Oh my God, I agreed to fake date Killian Haynes!”
The hotel room is dark except for the sliver of light creeping through the curtains.
My heart hammers against my ribs as I sit bolt upright in bed, my hair sticking to my face in sweaty clumps.
For a moment, I think I might have dreamt the whole conversation.
Then I see the empty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup wrapper on my nightstand, and reality comes crashing back.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I mutter, flopping back onto my pillow. My phone buzzes with a text, and I grab it with the desperate hope that it’s Killian saying he was drunk and we should forget the whole thing.
But that is not the case.
Tara
You alive? You’ve been weirdly quiet since you got to Chicago.
I stare at the message for a full thirty seconds before typing back.
Me
I think I’ve made a terrible mistake.
Three dots appear immediately.
Tara
What kind of mistake? Wait. Let me guess. Did you get drunk and profess your undying love to Killian Haynes?
Me
Worse.
Tara
Worse? Okay umm did you get drunk and KISS Killian Haynes?
Me
Worse.
Tara
What? OMG! Did you guys fuck?!?
Me
Worse.
Tara
WORSE? How is that even a bad scenario to begin with?
I groan, flopping back against the pillows.
How am I going to tell her about this? She’s going to lose her mind.
I hesitate, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard.
I could lie. I could tell her I accidentally insulted his manager and now I’m going to be fired.
That would be believable. Tara would buy that, but she’s my best friend and I’ve never been able to lie to her.
She’d find out eventually. And knowing her, she’d be more upset about me keeping it from her than about the actual news.
So, I take a deep breath and type.
Me
Okay don’t freak out…
Tara
Just tell me!
Me
I agreed to fake date Killian Haynes.
The three dots appear, then disappear, then appear again. This happens three more times before her response finally comes through.
Tara
I’m sorry. I think my phone is glitching because it just showed me that you agreed to FAKE DATE KILLIAN HAYNES.
Me
Your phone isn’t glitching.
Tara
You agreed to FAKE DATE KILLIAN HAYNES?!
Me
Yes.
Tara
FAKE. DATE. KILLIAN. HAYNES.
Me
I know what I said. Why are you shouting?
Tara
Like, pretend to be his girlfriend? Killian Haynes? The guy you’ve been heckling at games for weeks. THAT Killian Haynes?
Me
That’s the one.
Three seconds later, my phone starts ringing. I let it go to voicemail. It rings again but I silence it. When it rings a third time, I know Tara won’t stop until I answer.
“Hello?” I say, trying to sound casual.
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?” Tara’s voice is so loud I have to hold the phone away from my ear. “Fake date? FAKE DATE? Since when do you fake date people? You don’t even real date people!”
“I know, I know.” I press the heel of my palm against my forehead. “It sort of made sense at the time.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I got an email from The Step Forward Foundation yesterday asking me to be their keynote speaker and the invite included a plus one.”
“So, you asked out Killian Haynes?”
“No. Actually, he sort of invited himself.”
Tara laughs, but her tone is more disbelief than humor. “What?”
I rub my hand down my face. “I’m sorry, I’m not explaining this very well.
It was late and there was candy and when he saw how stressed I was he offered to go with me, and then he told me the front office is watching him a lot because of his attitude on the field.
He’s afraid he’ll get traded and taken away from his brothers and desperately wants to show the organization that he’s a happier, softer guy because of a new relationship… with me.”
When Tara doesn’t respond right away, I continue with, “So, we saw it as a mutually beneficial fake relationship.”
“A mutually beneficial fake relationship?” Tara’s voice drips with skepticism. “Isla, that’s the plot of literally every Hallmark movie ever made. This isn’t real life. This is a fantasy you’ve cooked up in your head.”
“But it’s actually happening,” I finish for her, sitting up straighter in bed.
“Tara, I know it sounds crazy, but it makes sense when you think about it. He needs to show the front office he’s settling down, and I could use someone by my side at this gala who can work the room.
Think of the money he’ll help raise for the foundation. It’s a simple and perfect setup.”
“Perfect?” Tara laughs. “Isla, you’ve been avoiding commitment since your accident. You don’t even keep plants alive because you’re afraid to get attached to anything. And now you’re going to fake date one of the hottest men in baseball? How is that simple?”
I open my mouth to argue, then close it again. She’s not wrong. I’m the queen of non-attachment. I’ve perfected the art of keeping people at arm’s length. So why did I agree to this?
“Because it’s not real,” I finally say. “That’s the whole point. It’s fake. No strings, no expectations. Just...mutually beneficial pretending.”
“And what happens when you catch feelings? Or worse, when he does? Are you really willing to hurt him the way you know you’ll have to when it’s time to walk away?”
“I won’t catch feelings,” I say, but even as the words leave my mouth, I’m not sure I believe them. “And he definitely won’t. Killian Haynes has dated half of Portland. He’s not going to fall for a flight attendant who teases him about his pitching.”
“Famous last words,” Tara mutters. “But fine. Let’s say I believe you. What exactly does this fake relationship entail?”
I swing my legs over the side of the bed, suddenly needing to move. “We’ll be seen together in public. Go on dates. Act like a normal couple. That’s it.”
“That’s it?” Tara’s voice rises. “You’re going to pretend to date Killian Haynes and you think it’s just going to be holding hands at the movies?”
“Okay, we might have to kiss,” I admit, feeling heat creep up my neck. “For appearances.”
“You might have to kiss,” she repeats slowly. “You might have to kiss Killian Haynes. The man with the piercings.”
I groan. “How do you even know about the piercings?”
“Everyone knows about the piercings, Isla. It’s not exactly a secret.”
“Well, it’s not happening. We agreed—no sex.”
“No sex?” Tara’s laugh is incredulous. “Girl, you’ve got to be kidding me. No sex? You agreed to no sex with Killian Haynes?” She makes a sound like she’s choking. “Isla, have you seen the man? He’s built like a Greek god. And you’re telling me you’re not even going to try to get a piece of that?”
“I’m not—“ I start, but she cuts me off.
“You know what? I don’t believe you. Not for one second. You’re going to end up in bed with him by the end of the week.”
“Tara! I promise,” I insist, “This is all just for show.”
“Well, I insist that you go back and amend that contract right now. If you’re getting anything out of this, it should at the very least be a good dicking whenever you want it.”
There’s a long pause on the other end of the line. When Tara finally speaks again, her tone has softened. “Isla, you know I love you, right?”
“I do.”
“And you know I only want what’s best for you?”
“Where are you going with this?”
Tara sighs. “I don’t know. I mean, who knows, maybe this fake dating thing could be good for you. Maybe it’s exactly what you need.”
I blink in surprise. “Wait, what? I thought you were against this.”
“I was. I am.” She laughs. “But then the more I think about it, maybe this is the universe’s way of giving you a chance to open up again. To let someone in. To learn that not everyone you love leaves you.”
My throat tightens. “That’s not what this is.”
“Isn’t it?” Her voice is gentle now. “When was the last time you let someone get close to you? Really close?”
I don’t answer because I can’t. She’s right. Since the accident, since losing my dad, I’ve kept everyone at a distance. Even Tara—my best friend—has had to fight her way past my walls.
“Listen,” she continues, “I know you think you’re protecting yourself by never getting attached, but all you’re doing is making sure you’re alone. Maybe this fake relationship is the universe’s way of giving you a practice run. A safe way to remember what it’s like to have someone in your life.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I say, but there’s no conviction in my voice.
“Is it? Because maybe it’s perfect. You get all the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. And when it’s over, you’ll have shown yourself that you can survive a breakup. That not every ending has to be tragic.”
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. “Tara...”
“Just think about it,” she says softly. “I know you’re scared. I know you think letting someone in means giving them the power to hurt you. But what if it means giving them the power to heal you instead?”
I don’t know how to respond to that, so I don’t. Instead, I change the subject. “I should probably get ready for the day. We have a flight back to Portland today.”
“Fine, but we’re not done talking about this,” Tara warns. “And Isla? For what it’s worth, I think this could be really good for you. Just...be careful, okay? With your heart.”
“I will,” I promise, though I’m not sure I believe myself.
After we hang up, I sit on the edge of the bed for a long time, staring at my reflection in the hotel room mirror. Tara’s words echo in my head. Maybe this fake relationship could be good for me. Maybe it’s exactly what I need. But the real question is, how am I supposed to act around him today?
Like nothing happened?
Like we didn’t just enter into some bizarre pact that could potentially blow up in both our faces? The thought makes my stomach twist into knots.
By the time I make it to the airport following this afternoon’s game, I’ve convinced myself that I can handle this. I’m a professional, after all. I’ve dealt with difficult passengers, turbulence, and emergency landings. How hard can fake dating a baseball player be?
Spoiler alert: apparently, very hard.
The moment I spot Killian walking through the terminal with Bishop and Carter, my heart does this weird fluttery thing that it definitely shouldn’t be doing.
He’s wearing black dress pants and a sport coat that fits his body perfectly, and his hair is still damp from what I assume was a post-game shower.
He looks unfairly good for someone who just played nine innings of baseball.
“Shit,” I mutter under my breath, quickly turning to check the coffee machine.
“Everything okay?” Padrick asks, appearing beside me with a concerned expression.
“Fine,” I lie, straightening my uniform.
Padrick gives me a knowing look. “Uh-huh.”
I can feel Killian’s presence before I hear him, that strange electricity in the air that seems to follow him everywhere. “Hi, Coach,” he says, his voice low and smooth as he approaches me.
I turn to face him, trying to maintain my professional demeanor despite the way my heart is pounding. “Mr. Haynes,” I say, my voice coming out surprisingly steady.
He raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Mr. Haynes? That’s a new one.”
Padrick looks between us, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. “I’ll just...go check on the pre-flight preparations,” he says, backing away slowly.
Once he’s out of earshot, Killian steps closer. “You okay? About…you know,” he says, his voice dropping to a level that’s just for me.
“Yeah,” I reply, suddenly very aware of how close he is. “You?”
His smile puts me at ease more than I expect it to. “I’m good.” He nods, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. Good.”
“Good,” I repeat, and we both stand there staring at each other like we’ve forgotten how to speak English.
“So...” Killian rocks back on his heels. “We’re doing this.”
“We’re doing this,” I confirm, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Great.” He nods, that confident smile returning. “I’m going to flirt with you on this flight. Just thought I’d warn you.”
When I lock eyes with him, he winks and reminds me, “Gotta make it feel real, you know? For them.” He gestures with his head toward the rest of the team boarding the plane.
“Right. Right.” I nod. “Yeah.”
“Think you can handle it, Coach?”
There’s a sense of calm, playful whimsy about him this evening reminiscent of a few nights ago when he bought me a drink. Maybe it’s because he didn’t pitch today so he’s not as tired or stressed as usual but I’ll take fun Killian any day.
“Bring it on, Haynes.”