10. Isla #3
He turns from the window, his gaze sweeping over me in a way that makes my skin prickle with heat. “Yeah,” he says, his voice softer than I expect. “I’m ready.”
We head across town to a high-rise building and Killian leads me to one of the topmost floors. When we step inside his palatial apartment, the differences between my place and his are night and day.
His place is sleek and modern, all clean lines and dark wood, with floor-to-ceiling windows that offer a stunning view of the city. It’s the kind of apartment that belongs in a magazine, meticulously decorated but somehow still feeling impersonal. Like a hotel room someone decided to call home.
“Nice place,” I say, stepping further inside. “I mean, if you like this sort of thing.”
Killian chuckles, tossing his keys onto a marble countertop. “This sort of thing?”
“You know…big.”
“It’s too much, I know.” He bobs his head. “Especially for one person. I don’t even spend much time here. The realtor I hired said a place like this would make me look sophisticated.”
I smile as I wander toward the windows, taking in the view of Portland spread out below us. “Does it?”
“Fuck, no.” He grins when I turn around, running a hand through his hair. “I still eat cereal for dinner and leave my laundry on the floor.”
“That’s somehow comforting to know,” I say, watching him rummage through his mail and then toss it on the table.
“I’ll just be a minute.”
He disappears into his bedroom, leaving me standing in the living room for a few minutes. When he finally emerges, he appears freshly showered and smells like heaven. He’s wearing a pair of black ripped jeans and a gray T-shirt that pulls tight across his chest.
“Jesus how do you make ripped jeans and a T-shirt look so incredibly hot?”
“Uh…” he stares at me blankly and then lifts a shoulder in a helpless shrug. “I…sorry?”
“I guess I’m not complaining.” I shrug. “How long have you lived here?”
“Three years.” He crosses to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. “Want one?”
“No thanks.” I watch as he twists the cap off and takes a long drink, his throat working. Even in this simple action, there’s something magnetic about him that makes it hard to look away.
“So,” I say, leaning against the windowsill. “What’s your usual method for dealing with...all of this?”
“All of what?”
I gesture vaguely, encompassing everything. “The trade rumors, the stress, the overwhelming pressure…the anxiety. Do you work out a lot to get rid of the tension? Do you run? Do you sing really loud? Do you...I don’t know…knit or something?”
Killian leans against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. The movement makes his biceps flex beneath the tight fabric of his T-shirt, and I have to force myself to maintain eye contact.
“You don’t want to know the answer to that question, Coach.
“Uh, yeah, I do. If I didn’t want to know the answer, I wouldn’t have asked the question.” I shrug. “Just thought maybe I could help you out so you feel better.”
“Alright. Usually?” He gives me a challenging glare. “Usually, I fuck it out.”
I blink. “I’m sorry…what?”
He shrugs, completely unsurprised and unbothered by my reaction.
“When I’m wound up like this, there’s usually a long line of women willing to help me blow off steam.
I’ve been known to call any one of them and when I do they know I just need to fuck.
There’s no feelings or emotions. It’s just… you know, a physical thing.”
Heat floods my face, and I’m suddenly very interested in the view outside his window. “Hmm. Okay. That’s uh...that’s direct.”
“I’m sorry, Isla.” He steps closer to me, enough that I turn back to look at him as he takes another sip of water, studying me over the rim of the bottle. “But you asked and I want to be honest with you.”
“I did,” I admit, holding his gaze. “I just uh…I didn’t expect such a straightforward answer.”
“Would you prefer I lied?”
“No.” I finally look away, wondering if I actually appear green, being that I’m filled with envy for those women he calls on any given night. “Honestly, it’s…it’s fine.”
He sets his water bottle down and steps closer to me. “Don’t worry. Since we’re doing this whole...” He gestures between us. “No sex thing, I’ll find a new way to get rid of all the…adrenaline. I won’t break our deal, I promise.”
The words hang in the air between us as I stare at him, my mouth suddenly dry. The way he says it—so matter-of-fact, like he’s discussing what to have for dinner—makes me feel kind of weird.
“Unless...” Killian’s voice drops lower as he takes a step toward me. “You’ve changed your mind about that particular clause?”
I swallow hard, my heart hammering against my ribs.
The intense way he’s looking at me, almost predatory, makes it difficult to think clearly.
But something about the vulnerability I saw earlier today, the fear in his eyes when he thought he might be traded, has me wanting to offer him comfort in whatever way I can.
And let’s be honest…hooking up with Killian Haynes could very possibly be an out-of-this-world experience.
Didn’t he tell me he’s pierced a while back?
“I mean...” I start, my voice coming out breathier than I intend. With my hand at the base of my throat, I say almost as if in a trance, “If it would help with the stress...”
Killian’s eyes widen, and he laughs, a genuine, surprised sound that breaks the tension in the room. “Jesus, Isla. I was kidding.”
Heat floods my face. “What? Yeah. I mean, I knew that,” I lie, crossing my arms over my chest, relief and disappointment growing. “I was just...playing along.”
“Sure, you were.” His grin widens, and I want to simultaneously kiss him and throw something at him. “And as much as I appreciate the offer, I think we should probably stick to our original plan.”
“Right. Of course. That makes perfect sense.”
He watches me for a moment, long enough to be nearly uncomfortable, and then he leans forward and kisses my forehead tenderly.
“But seriously, thank you for the offer. That’s very kind of you.
And thank you for showing up today when I panicked.
I don’t know what it is about you but I’m calmer, I guess, when you’re around. I appreciate you.”
I shrug my shoulders, still trying to wipe away the embarrassment. “Meh. I would’ve just heckled you the whole time anyway.”
That gets him to laugh out loud, all sense of tension melting away. “Oh shit, I can only imagine the things that might come out of your mouth while I’m fucking you senseless.”
Hoooly shit.
He just said that…
He just…
Fucking me senseless…
Yes please…
Still chuckling, he offers me his hand, wrapping his warm fingers around mine. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
We head for the door and then wait outside for the elevator.
When the doors open, we step inside and he hits the button for the ground floor.
And just as the elevator doors are about to close, Killian looks at me and says, “But just so we’re clear, I could make you come faster than your grandmother’s wheelchair. ”