12. Isla #2
Oh, Coach. I have much more creative ideas than mozzarella sticks. But if those will do it, I’ll DoorDash them to your place right fucking now.
I shift in my chair, suddenly very aware of the silence in my apartment.
Tara won’t be home until morning, and the thought of being alone with these messages sends a shiver down my spine that I try desperately to ignore.
It’s not that I think sleeping with Killian is a terrible idea from an attraction perspective.
God knows, the man has the body of a beast, and I’m certain he knows how to use it.
I’m just not sure it’s a good idea from a mindset perspective to get intimately involved with the man I’m fake dating.
Lines will cross, things will get messy, and I can’t have that happening as we get further into the season.
Besides, I know he’s only saying these things because he’s alone and horny. The poor guy hasn’t seen any action since we made our agreement.
Damn.
What if my one big ask of no sex while we’re together does more harm than good to him? What if he’s so used to having a regular schedule of sex that this throws him off his game? What if his game suffers and it’s all my fault?
I consider my response. The wine has definitely loosened something in me, but I’m not drunk enough to make a decision I’ll regret tomorrow.
Me
If you’re trying to make me feel guilty, it might be working.
Killian
I would never try to make you feel guilty. I’m just being honest about my current state of mind. And my current state of mind is very...focused on you.
I set my phone down and press my palms against my warm cheeks. This conversation is veering into dangerous territory, and part of me wants to steer it back to safer ground. But another part—the part that’s been replaying those kisses in the stadium hallway for days—wants to see where this goes.
Me
You know I can’t change my mind about this, right? We made an agreement.
Killian
I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t think about it. You’re a good kisser, Isla. Any man would be crazy not to be thinking about it after the fact. So don’t hate me if I try to persuade you with my devastating charm and quick wit. And possibly a foot rub. I give excellent foot rubs.
I laugh, shaking my head at his persistence.
Me
You’re relentless.
Killian
It’s one of my better qualities. How many men have you kissed?
I blink at the question, my fingers pausing over the keyboard. Where did that come from? We were talking about foot rubs and now he wants to know my kissing history?
Me
That’s a pretty personal question, Haynes.
Killian
We’re fake dating. I think I’m allowed to be curious about the woman whose lips I’ve had the pleasure of tasting. So...how many? Or rather, how many do I have to kill?
I take another sip of wine, considering how to answer. The truth is embarrassing but fuck it. We’re not a real thing so what does it matter anyway?
Me
Three. Including you.
The three dots appear and disappear several times before his response comes through.
Killian
Three? That’s it? How is that even possible?
Me
What do you mean, how is that possible? Not everyone is Killian Haynes, star pitcher and professional heartbreaker.
Killian
I’m not a heartbreaker. I’m just very up front about what I want.
Me
Which is?
Killian
Right now? You. In my bed. Making those little sounds you made when I kissed you at the stadium. Not gonna lie, Coach, they kind of turned me on.
Heat floods my face and spreads down my neck. I should shut this down. I should remind him again about our agreement. I should be the responsible one here.
But also, I don’t want to do any of those things.
Me
I’m sorry to be the cause of what I can only assume will be an impressive case of blue balls.
Killian
LOL at least you admit it. Can I ask you a question?
Me
Let me guess. You want to know how you compare? To the other men before you?
Killian
Maybe I’m curious. Maybe I want to know what I’m competing against.
Me
You’re not competing against anyone. There’s no competition because we’re not real, remember?
Killian
Hmm. Felt pretty real to me when my tongue brushed yours. You got a fake tongue in that pretty little mouth of yours?
I can feel my face flush brighter as I read Killian’s message. There’s something about the way he texts that feels like he’s right next to me, whispering these things directly into my ear.
And I don’t hate it.
Me
You’re impossible.
Killian
Nah. But I’m still waiting patiently for your answer…
Me
Fine. If you must know, you’re the best kiss I’ve ever had. Happy now?
I hit send before I can think better of it. The wine is definitely doing its job, loosening my tongue, my thumbs, and my inhibitions. I shouldn’t be telling him this. I should be maintaining boundaries, not feeding his ego.
Killian
The best? Seriously? I’m going to need you to elaborate on that.
Me
No elaboration. Take the compliment and move on.
Killian
But I want details. What made it the best? Was it the way I held you? The way I used my tongue? The way I made you feel like the only woman in the world?
It was all those things.
Definitely the way you held me.
The way your hand pushed through my hair at the back of my neck.
The way your other hand held my waist, your fingers digging into my skin like I was your lifeline.
The way you allowed yourself to relax and breathe me in.
The softness of your tongue.
The strength of your arms.
The way I felt like I belonged to you for just a moment.
The way I felt like you could see me.
All of me.
I press my thighs together, trying to ignore the heat pooling in my belly. This is dangerous territory. We’re supposed to be faking this, not actually flirting like this.
Me
You’re fishing for compliments.
Killian
Maybe. But I’m also genuinely curious. I’ve never had to work this hard to get a woman into bed before. I’m trying to figure out my approach.
Me
Your approach is fine. The answer is still no.
Killian
For now.
I stare at those two words, my heart racing. The implication that he thinks I’ll change my mind running circles through my head.
Killian
So, are you going to tell me what you’re wearing right now or do I have to use my imagination for that too?
I laugh out loud and shake my head at his persistence, knowing if he keeps it up, I have a strong feeling he’ll wear me down. But for now…for tonight, I can be strong.
Me
LOL. Goodnight Haynesy. Tell your fist I said hello.
Killian
You’re killing me, Coach. You’re killin’ me.