Chapter 19
I love it when a man tells me what to do. I won’t listen, but I like how it sounds.
— Shayne to Ande
SHAYNE
Three days later, I’d gotten flowers from the entire Carter family, my brother—and how he did this from prison I didn’t know—and my assistant boss, Cleo .
What I’d also gotten was smothered.
Quinn wouldn’t allow me to be alone for a single second.
If he wasn’t there, then Ande was.
Or Garnett .
Or any of the Carters .
Hell , even Keene was over here staying with me while everyone went to work.
I was exhausted and in need of a people break.
I was at the breaking point, and Quinn had no clue.
So when he asked me to do something I loved, I , of course, snapped.
“ Sing with me, baby,” Quinn urged.
I looked over at him, my lungs hurting from just thinking about singing.
“ I can’t,” I told him.
“ The doctor said that you needed to exercise your lungs,” he disagreed with me while he sat me up in the bed where we’d been lounging. “ I think singing is the perfect way to do that.”
It was.
I mean, it wasn’t like I could get up.
That didn’t mean I wanted to do something that I loved, that I adored doing with him and my Nonna once upon a time, again.
There was only so much of my heart he could rip out and stomp on.
Singing with him would only break away the last few pieces.
“ No .”
He ignored my protests and started to sing.
It was… bad.
He had only managed to get worse since he used to do this with my grandmother and me, but the song he chose made my heart fuckin’ hurt.
“ Make You Feel My Love .”
“ Goddammit , Quinn ,” I breathed. “ Goddamn everything about you.”
I threw the covers off, intent on escape, and realized that there was nowhere for me to go.
I could hear his brothers in the living room.
I’d heard Ande and Garnett talking in the kitchen when Quinn had gone out to get me a drink earlier.
In the last three days, I’d gone from numb to downright depressed.
The reality of my situation was overwhelming me.
I had no way to work for another ten days. I didn’t have a place to call home. I didn’t have any family left. My brother was in jail. My Nonna was still dead. Quinn was saying all the right things, but in my heart, I just couldn’t believe him.
Because , since he’d left me, nothing good had ever happened to me.
Literally , every single thing that had happened was bad.
Meaning , I couldn’t trust a freakin’ thing that came out of Quinn’s mouth.
The reality of my situation was just… too much.
I’d gone from being able to talk to wondering how I was going to get out of bed.
Quinn was right to worry.
And the fucker was still singing.
Tears started to form in my eyes, that I swore were from frustration and not sadness.
I turned away and stared out of the window.
Quinn had opened the blinds when he’d walked into his bedroom twenty minutes ago after he arrived home on his lunch break.
His comment of ‘the sun will do you good’ was probably correct. I knew the importance of a daily dose of vitamin D . But I didn’t want to see the sun. I didn’t want to see anything but the backs of my eyelids.
Quinn’s voice changed, going deeper, more hypnotic.
Then it came closer, and I was reminded why I always felt that he could sing.
Those deep notes he could really, really hit.
It targeted something deep inside me that had my breath hitching, and my heart soaring.
“ Another Try ” by Josh Turner had my head drooping, chin meeting my chest.
I was really messed up.
I also had to admit that I’d been morose lately, and unwilling to listen to Quinn even a little bit.
I’d been here, but I hadn’t been present.
And he’d noticed.
By him singing this song, he was reminding me that he was going to try harder. That he wanted this to work out. That he wanted me to forgive him.
I didn’t know if I had it in me to forgive him.
Not if I couldn’t forgive myself, first.
The song ended, and when I didn’t even try to sing, he caught my hair and lifted it off my shoulder. “ You need to try.”
I drew in a deep breath, and my lungs wheezed.
He kept going, making me fist my hands.
“ You need to talk to someone,” he informed me.
I whirled, trying to advance on him, but he was already there, anticipating the move on my end. He caught me by the shoulders and gently pulled me into him. “ Talking to someone will help.”
I closed my eyes as those damn, traitorous tears started to slip free. “ It won’t.”
A ring of the doorbell had me stiffening.
If that was more fucking flowers…
“ Um , Quinn ?” I heard called.
Ande .
Quinn pulled away from me, but he didn’t let go of my hand as he tugged me in his wake to the living room. Once there, he deposited me in his recliner, and I tried not to look around at the room full of Carters who were paying just as much attention to me now as they were whoever was at the door.
“ What’s that?” I heard Garnett whisper.
Quinn yanked open the door, and my heart sank.
It was a man in uniform.
Though , not a uniform I’d seen in the area.
“ Who are you?” Quinn asked,
“ Name’s Ambrose Dunn . I’m with the DEA .” He pulled out a badge and showed it to Quinn , then cast his gaze to me. “ I need to ask Ms . Rodriguez some questions.”
My heart skipped a beat.
“ What about?” Quinn stepped in the way, blocking the agent’s view of me.
“ About what I talked to your boss at the station about, which I’m assuming he relayed to you yesterday,” Agent Dunn replied.
My heart started beating faster, and a sense of betrayal started to tear through me.
I’d been turned into the DEA ? And Quinn had known?
What the fuck?
I mean, Quinn had said that there could be issues, but he’d worked them out.
Or , so I’d thought.
I stood up, feeling the urge to run.
But , before I could take a step toward the bedroom again, Ande was there, holding my hand.
Holding me in place, more likely.
“ Can you give me a minute?” Quinn requested. “ I need to help her get dressed.”
I scoffed, causing Ande to squeeze my hand.
I clenched my jaw shut.
“ Sure ,” Agent Dunn said, sounding amused. “ I’ll just wait out here with nowhere to sit.”
Quinn didn’t reply as he closed the door in the agent’s face.
“ Quinn ,” Garnett hissed. “ That was rude.”
“ What’s rude is he’s showing up here now when we talked about me getting her to the station tomorrow,” he snapped as he turned around and caught sight of me standing there.
His mouth clenched shut, and he walked toward me, holding out his hand.
I didn’t take it, instead crossing my arms over my chest in a defensive posture.
“ I was going to talk to you about it today,” he said. “ I just had to get you up and out of your head first.”
I didn’t say anything to that ludicrous statement.
“ You know you’re struggling,” he said. “ I didn’t want to worry you until I had to.”
I looked away.
He was right, I was struggling.
But he didn’t need to share that.
What he needed to do was stop treating me with kid gloves.
I knew he was following me when he stomped along behind me as I made my way to his room.
I walked over to the closet where Garnett and Ande had practically moved me in.
Walking to a sundress, I yanked it down and started to pull off my clothes in hasty movements.
“ Baby ,” Quinn murmured, catching my hips and stilling my jerky movements. “ Let me help.”
I went still, ready to scream.
Then , because I was angry enough to murder him, I whirled around and leveled a finger in his face.
“ I am not a fucking lightweight, Quinn Carter . I can handle anything,” I snapped.
He held up his hands. “ That’s not what I meant.”
“ Then what did you mean?” I snapped.
He helped me with the sundress, then tied the tie at my back before hooking his fingers in the waistband of my sweats and yanking them down.
I bit my lip as I tried, and failed, not to think about why I loved that he was taking care of me. And that he always could do the simplest of things and make certain places inside me pulse.
“ What I meant was that I didn’t want you to worry unnecessarily until I knew there was something to worry about. You have enough to deal with right now with the injuries, and the baby…” he started, but I held my hand up, not wanting to think about that particular topic.
I was pretending I hadn’t ever been pregnant. It was easier than being devastated that I’d lost a piece of Quinn that I’d never have again.
I’d already lost so much of him, that losing another piece was devastating to me.
Yeah , best to not think about that right now…
“ Who is this Ambrose Dunn guy?” I asked, changing the subject.
He bent down and grabbed a pair of my flipflops and placed them on my feet.
I tried not to like that, either.
“ To tell you about Ambrose , I’d have to tell you about the new DA , Leslie Tanner , first,” he explained.
“ Then I’m all ears,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
He pulled my arms away from my chest, then walked me out the door of his bedroom.
He ignored his family and went on to explain, “ Leslie has things to prove.”
He went on to explain how Tanner was new and was trying to make a name for himself. How he was handing out harsher punishments where he could so he could look like he was making the city safer.
He then went on to give me a few examples of what was going on with others in the community.
By the time he was done, I was terrified.
“ Am I going to go to jail?” I asked, heart in my throat.
Out of everything that had happened lately, that hadn’t even been on my radar.
Hell , even when Quinn had explained that I could be implicated in some way, I hadn’t thought that this would be an outcome.
“ No ,” he said. “ That’s where Ambrose Dunn comes in. He’s with the DEA . Silas McKenzie recommended him to me. He was able to pull a few strings, and link your brother to not only Dallas , but Oklahoma and New Mexico . Since it’s through multiple states, DEA was able to take over the investigation. Bad for Costas , but good for you.”
I blew out a breath, not happy to hear that news, but not upset, either.
“ What does that mean for Costas ?” I questioned.
“ Federal prison. More charges,” he answered. “ Longer sentence.”
My shoulders drooped. “ And me?”
“ And you get a fair judge,” he answered. “ Now , we’ll go talk to him.”
We made it out into the main room, and once again the sight of all the things that I’d once told Quinn that I wanted in a house struck me stupid.
I loved this place he’d created.
I loved it even more that Quinn had remembered.
I also wasn’t willing to admit how much it meant to me.
“ In here,” Garnett called when we stepped into the main living area.
Quinn turned us so that we were in the kitchen, where all of them were holding cups of coffee.
Garnett came up to me and placed her hands on my cheeks before saying, “ You look beautiful.”
I tried to smile but failed.
I just wasn’t in the mood to play happy.
“ Thanks ,” I murmured quietly.
“ Agent Dunn ,” Quinn said. “ This is my fiancée, Shayne Rodriguez .”
I went to immediately disagree, but Quinn squeezed my hand, halting my words before they’d left my lips.
Garnett snorted and pulled away, walking back to the counter where she grabbed two mugs of coffee, handing one to me, then taking a seat at the bar.
Sometime over the last couple of days, new barstools had arrived.
Ones that I would’ve picked.
I had a feeling Ande had something to do with that.
“ Nice to meet you,” Agent Dunn said. “ And call me Ambrose .”
I nodded. “ Ambrose .”
“ I’m here because I have to be,” he explained. “ I’ve read enough of the report on the circumstances, as well as talked to your brother-in-law, Gable . I don’t technically feel like I need your statement on the matter to make a sound judgment, but I have to make it look like I’m being fair.”
My stomach started to feel funny. Like life wasn’t as bad as I thought it was a couple of seconds ago.
My brows rose. “ What do you need from me to do that?”
Short of giving him my body, I’d do just about anything not to be in trouble with the law.
“ Tell me everything, in your own words, of what happened over the last year leading up to the arrest of your brother,” he suggested.
So I did, explaining how I went out of my way to stay away from home as much as possible. How I used the back entrance to enter into the house. How I left when Costas arrived.
“ I can attest to all of that,” Quinn offered up. “ I was over there at her place the night before the warrant was served and the arrest of Costas was made. I saw nothing lying out in plain view. I looked pretty thoroughly, too.”
Quinn looked rather sheepish, allowing me to see that on his face.
I crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at him.
His admission didn’t surprise me, though.
I mean, he was a cop, through and through.
You didn’t just turn something like that off.
“ Okay ,” Ambrose said. “ The DA , Tanner , is going to…”
I tuned him out, allowing the people in the room who knew what they were talking about to converse.
I allowed my gaze to flitter around the room, tuning out everything but the way seeing Quinn’s newly built house made me feel.
Cherished .
That was what I decided on a few minutes later.
Cherished .
My brain was pleasantly fuzzy, for the first time in days no longer being completely focused on what I’d lost.
The baby.
My house.
My Nonna .
My brother.
My freedom.
The baby.
The baby.
The baby.
“ My fiancée and I will call if she comes up with any more information,” I felt Quinn’s warm hand wrap around my own, pulling me out of the death spiral. “ Thank you.”
Ambrose got up and walked away, but not before he stopped to level his intense gaze on me.
“ I can’t say that your brother getting arrested will change you,” he said, surprising me with his words. “ But after having to go through much the same situation with my sister, I can tell you from experience that you did the best you could. Sometimes your best just isn’t good enough, though. Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they can pull their head out of their ass long enough to see the better side of things.”
With that majestically worded comment, he left and didn’t look back.
Which , of course, was when I remembered an earlier comment.
“ I’m not your fiancée,” I snapped at him.
“ Sure , you are,” he disagreed. “ Because I won’t give up until I’m dead.”
I gritted my teeth before saying, “ That can be arranged.”
The brothers in the room laughed.
Garnett patted my shoulder before saying, “ I hate to break it to you, Solei , but Quinn is my most stubborn. He’s going to fix it. You might as well make amends with that fact now.”
I ignored them all and walked back to Quinn’s room.
Once there, I buried my face into his pillow, and tried to turn my brain off again.