Chapter 14 What am I Doing
I’ve been hunched over at the airport gate, staring at the request to follow sign on Reed’s private Instagram page for thirty-seven minutes.
His profile picture appears to be a candid shot of him in a pair of sunglasses with a palm tree backdrop.
What is he thinking, hiding those eyeballs of his in a profile picture?
He definitely read the chapter. Why else request to follow me? Why not text me? Why not email? Why is this so weird?
I drop the phone into my jacket pocket. I need a distraction. I should read. Part of me was relieved I had to cancel book club tonight because I’m still fifty pages shy of the end of Heir of Fire. I packed the giant hardcover.
I lay my carry-on edition of the Sunrise Away bag collection on the ground and unzip it as discreetly as possible. I hate opening hardtop carry-ons in public. It feels like such an invasion of privacy. Everyone can see the contents of your entire bag in one fell swoop.
Carefully I lift the top portion of the bag.
But where I thought I placed Heir of Fire, sitting atop my clothes is the old-timey journal from Babe’s wedding.
Goddamnit. I groan, drop the bag closed, and zip it back up.
I was in such a rush to pack last night after talking to my aunt, and they were both on my nightstand. I must have grabbed the wrong one.
“Now boarding groups one and two to Los Angeles!”
Great. I have nothing to read on the plane. I pull my phone back out and send Whitney a quick boarding the plane, see you soon text before jumping back over to Instagram and reopening Reed’s page.
I’m not giving him power. I’m seizing mine.
I request to follow and immediately flip to Airplane Mode.
I will not spend the five-hour flight having one giant anxiety hot flash as I await the moment he potentially accepts my request.
Instead, I spend it drafting a one-sentence message to maybe send at some point when I feel that it’s appropriate.
Hey Reed, I’m actually unexpectedly in LA, you want to grab a drink?
My cousin/best friend is in crisis so I’m in LA unexpectedly this week. Let me know if you want to grab a drink before I head back.
Hey I’m in LA by accident. Whattt’s up.
Hey Reed, I just tripped over a curb and ended up outside your door, ready for date number two?
Can I get your home address? I want to google map exactly how many steps it is from my house.
Hey Reed. It’s me Renee. I Fled across the country after our one good date and i’m here to start our official long term relationship. Don’t freak out i’m a chill person.
Free Tuesday for a second date? 7 p.m. Barney’s in Studio City at the bar. Eat beforehand. Wear clothes.