Chapter 45 I Love You. It’s Ruining My Life
Dad stands behind the threshold of his home, smiling at us. “Rikki? We’re just about to have Sunday dinner. Holy cow, perfect timing. Come on in!”
His hair is a deep chestnut brown. It’s usually mostly gray. It was mostly gray a week and a half ago. It’s been freshly dyed. And he’s wearing reading glasses. And he’s in a cream-colored sweater with leather elbow patches? Is he cosplaying as a professor?
“We’re? Who’s we’re?” I ask.
“Who’s this?” My father gestures to Reed and serves him a charming smile.
“Um, this is my Reed. My boyfriend. Reed. This is my boyfriend, Reed.”
Reed holds out a hand, and my father shakes it. “Hi, I’m Reed, her boyfriend.”
“Wow, kid, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. Come on in. We’re all in the dining room.”
I hesitantly follow him into the house I’ve been avoiding stepping into for seventeen years of my life. It’s . . . really nice. Beautiful, even. We’re in a foyer full of dark wood with a staircase that curves up to a second floor with a balcony.
We follow him through an archway into a cozy living room full of bookshelves that are built into the walls and brown leather furniture. He has a fire burning on his TV just like I always have going on mine.
I hate it.
The living room funnels into a wood-floor dining room with dark medieval-chandelier light fixtures that I’m immediately obsessed with. They look like they belong in a castle.
And at the table is a woman. And two kids. Two daughters. One around ten, the other probably five or six. My stomach squeegees itself.
You’re not allowed to date anyone, let alone a woman with kids.
But what if he is on medication now? Maybe he is truthfully doing better. He hasn’t done anything to prove otherwise yet.
But he always says shit like that when he’s trying to gain a foothold back into my life.
But I haven’t spent enough time with him in the last ten years to know if it’s ever been true.
But nothing he ever says is true.
But he’s dressed all different, and he’s dyeing his hair. Is this him doing better?
He just dyed his hair in the past two weeks.
“Enora, Ellen, Erica, this is my daughter, Rikki, and her boyfriend. What’s your name again, son?”
Reed clears his throat. “Reed, sir.”
Enora grabs an extra chair from the corner of the dining room and shoves it next to the empty chair left at their table.
“Rikki!” she gushes. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard such amazing things from your father about everything you do.”
I glance at my dad. “You have?”
The girls are quiet. They stare at me wide eyed.
“Yes! Love Today? The column and the podcast? And a relationship counselor to boot. That’s amazing. So many hats you wear.”
“I, um, thank you.”
“Sit down, kids, take a load off,” my father says. Enora runs out of the room for a moment and returns with two extra plates and forks. There’s lasagna on the table. And Italian bread. And roasted broccoli.
“We only came to have a quick word with you, Dad.”
“Have the word with us at the table,” he says cheerily as Enora retakes her seat. Does she live with him?
Reed shoots me a look. Do you want to leave?
I shake my head the slightest bit. The only way out is through. I pull out the chair across from Enora’s two girls and sit down. Reed settles in the chair next to me.
“How old are you?” asks the younger girl.
“I’m thirty.”
“Wow, she’s old,” the girl says loudly. “Why is your kid so old?” she asks my father.
My dad laughs. I would laugh, but I’m incapable.
“Are you vegan or something, Reed?”
Reed shakes his head. “No, sir.”
I clear my throat. “We already ate. I just wanted to talk to you about the apartment.”
“My apartment?” My father smiles at me.
“Yes, I wanted to talk about some logistics real quick.”
He nods, cutting through a piece of lasagna with his fork.
“I hear the place is beautiful.” Enora smiles sweetly at me.
I nod. “It is.” I turn to my dad. “Um, I know you want our relationship to flourish, and I do too.” I force the words out stiffly.
I just want to make it to January without an incident.
“You know how you surprised me there when the place was being painted? And then again when you were just there when I got home from work, because you got the cabinet handles replaced.”
He nods. “Yes.”
“I just think it would be beneficial, for both of us, if you could give me advanced notice when you plan on being in the apartment. It’s, um, disconcerting as a single woman to come back to where you live and find a man there—”
“You’re not single. You have a boyfriend,” he says simply.
I close my eyes and nod. “Yes, but he doesn’t live there with me. Sorry, I meant a woman living alone in New York.”
“The apartment’s in Jersey.”
“Dad, you know what I mean, right outside the city. I have to be careful, and it’s very scary to come home to find a man in my apartment without pretense.”
“You’re scared of your dad?”
I suck in a sharp breath and stare down at my empty plate as tears sting behind my eyes.
Stay calm. I exhale and look up. “No, it’s the surprise of it all.
It gives me a lot of anxiety. I would really appreciate if you texted me beforehand to let me know these things are happening and you’re going to be in the apartment. ”
Like I’ve gently asked both times.
“What does it matter, Rikki?”
Reed reaches for my hand and squeezes it under the table.
“It matters . . .” I inhale slowly again. “Because I’m a grown woman with multiple jobs and a tight schedule, and it’s currently my place of residence. And if . . .” I cut myself off.
My father tilts his head. “If what?”
“If it keeps happening, it’s going to hurt our relationship because it slowly builds resentment when a thing that bothers someone keeps happening, despite said someone voicing their concerns. And as an adult, I’ll have to put up some firmer . . . boundaries to protect my peace.”
My father laughs. “Firmer boundaries? You live in my apartment rent-free, sweetheart. Your generation doesn’t understand how good they have it.”
I close my eyes as my blood comes to a boil.
“Sir—” Reed starts, but I put a hand on his leg, stopping him.
I turn to my father. “Dad. I want to keep open lines of communication. I know you don’t want me to have to resort to going no contact.”
My father laughs. “Oh please, Rikki. I’m your father. Your mother and I are on good terms. There’s no reason the two of us can’t be as well.”
A lump lodges itself between my mouth and my vocal cords. “You want me to text you when I leave the state. And that has to go both ways. You need to text me when you’re in Jersey.”
He smiles. “I do text you, Rikki. Both of those times I texted you.”
I shake my head. “No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did. You don’t check my texts often enough.”
I level my gaze on him. “Yes, I do.”
“Maybe make sure your ringer is up. I know how all you young people like to have your phones constantly on silent.”
I stand up and smile tightly. “Okay. I will. And I would also love for you to stop watching me on the Ring camera. It’s incredibly uncomfortable.”
My father laughs. “You think I have nothing better to do than watch you on the damn Ring camera, Rikki? You think your comings and goings are ESPN? Gimme a break.”
“You literally text me when I come and go all the time.”
“I text you when I get a notification of concern. I don’t watch the Ring. I have it for security.”
I clench my teeth and glance from my father to Reed, who’s now standing next to me.
“O-kay. We actually have to go. Please think about how this is going to affect our relationship long term.” I turn to Enora.
“It was so nice meeting you. We should exchange numbers. I’d love to get to know you better. ”
“You’re not going to have any food?” my dad laments, feigning disappointment.
Enora smiles, surprised. “Oh wow, that’s very nice of you. Do you have your phone?”
No, it’s currently a useless paperweight. “Do you have yours?” I ask.
She nods and pushes her phone across the table. I grab it. It’s already unlocked. I shoot myself a text that says, Hi Rikki, this is Enora, and send it back across the table.
“So nice meeting you, girlies!” I wave to her kids. The smaller one waves back.
“Nice meeting all of you,” Reed says politely, following my lead as I head toward the door.
Once we’re in the car, I pull the journal out of my bag and check the pen. Green.
Thank god.
“Are you okay?” Reed asks as he closes the driver’s side door.
I sigh. “It feels like nothing I say ever gets through to him. I’ll be okay.”
“You think he’s going to keep dropping in on you unannounced?”
“I guess we’ll see.”
“Hey.”
I look up from my hands into Reed’s eyes.
“I know that was hard, and I don’t know what prompted it right now, but I’m proud of you for saying something. And I’m glad you asked me to come.”
I nod, trying to keep my cool as a river of emotions rages through me. “Thank you for coming.”
“One more SFAU dinner before I bring you to the airport?” He pronounces it sauvoo, and it makes me laugh.
I tell Reed my flight is at eleven. We make a pit stop at Verizon to replace our phones. Neither of them made a miraculous recovery, and neither of us had insurance—so that was an expense.
After dinner, he parks us up in the Hollywood Hills at one of the many viewpoint turnoffs to watch the sunset. As we sit there in the quietly fading light, my mind winds back through the weekend. So much has changed in the last forty-eight hours.
The Wedding Garter Universe Magic has resulted in the acquisition of an incredible boyfriend.
The Rikki Curse has ensured said boyfriend lives on the opposite end of the United States.
“I already hate this part,” I breathe.
“Which part?” Reed says. His hand lightly caresses my thigh, fingers dancing up and down. It’s making me want to snuggle into him and fall asleep. Or cry. Or kiss him into oblivion.
“The part where I have to leave and go back to my side of the country, thousands of miles away, and remember why this is a shit idea.”