Chapter 38
We lay together, chest to chest. Entwined.
A bundle of limbs. I could feel his erection between my legs as we kissed, and at the thought that I’d soon feel him inside of me, my heart overflowed with nervous delight.
His hands moved down my neck, my back, my waist, before wandering to my most sensitive point.
As he caressed me, my fingers explored his body.
At the moment our touches were no longer enough, and our foreplay had almost overexcited us, Vince disappeared into the house to find some condoms. With a pounding heart I watched him go and couldn’t help but grin, noticing how his ass seemed to glow in the surrounding darkness.
When he came back, the package crinkled promisingly in his hand.
I watched him open it, pull the condom on, and lie back down next to me.
“I want you on top,” he said in a rough voice. “Is that okay?”
Not having any preference, I nodded. All positions were good with the right partner.
And he was the right partner. A guttural sound escaped him as I positioned myself above him.
The next moment I lowered myself onto him.
The counterpressure was so wonderful that I paused instead of moving.
I looked into his face. I liked the way he looked at me.
Full of expectation and desire. He took out his hand and ran his fingers over my naked upper body.
I let out an audible gasp when he found my clitoris, the way he stroked and circled it.
The entire heat of my body flowed to that one spot.
I enjoyed it so much that it was only when he moaned that I realized I’d been moving on top of him for a long time.
His hand lay on my waist, exerting gentle pressure.
I increased the rhythm, feeling my climax building with each back and forth.
“So good.” I heard him pant and could tell that he was close.
For a moment I considered slowing things down in order to draw things out.
Savor the feeling. But there was no time to pause, and I didn’t have the self-control, so I just went full steam ahead toward that point where I wanted to melt away.
We reached it almost simultaneously. Now both of his hands were on my hips, holding me.
We stayed in this position for a moment, feeling the tremors, the twitching and throbbing.
Our eyes were locked, and I had the feeling he wanted to say something.
But I also knew that he was unable to find the words to describe what had just happened.
* * *
“That was my first time outdoors,” I said as we lay together under a thin linen sheet that was actually a beach towel. Now and again I could feel grains of sand, but I didn’t mind.
“Mine too.”
“What?”
He laughed. “Why are you so surprised?”
“I don’t know. It would have fit you.”
“You have got to explain.” He sounded amused.
“You just seem like the outdoor kind. Someone who prefers being outdoors to being indoors.”
“Well, yeah, I do prefer being outdoors to being indoors.”
“So, how is it that you ended up in computers of all places?”
He stiffened slightly. “I was just good with computers.”
I thought he was going to add something, but that was it.
“And you? You prefer being outdoors?”
“Referring to…” Instead of finishing I flashed an ambiguous smile. “Outdoors,” I said suddenly. “In every way.”
“That was nice, huh?” he whispered, and I nodded pensively.
He moved to kiss the tip of my nose, but I was quicker and put my mouth on his, parting his lips with my tongue. Suddenly he broke off and looked into my eyes.
“I have to tell you something, Lou.”
“Okay,” I mumbled, confused by the sudden seriousness in his voice.
“This here”—he gestured from himself to me—“this thing between us. This isn’t a summer fling for me anymore.”
I swallowed. Tried to win some time. But I didn’t have to because he wasn’t finished.
“Maybe it never was.” He paused, as if wanting to test the effect of his words. “Maybe Laurie was right.”
A light breeze brushed my naked shoulder and made me shiver. He noticed but misread the cause.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“No,” I protested. “I… It…”
“I just want to be honest with you. Even if…”
“That I have feelings for you,” I blurted out.
He bristled. Narrowed his eyes.
“That’s what I would have told you. Today on the beach. Before you went into the water to help Laurie.” My pulse began to race. “That I have feelings for you.”
His eyelids fluttered. “Why didn’t you?”
“I think I only realized it when I realized I was scared. Beyond that…we’d agreed to something else, right?”
“Yeah,” he said thoughtfully, and his eyes drifted past my shoulder. “We agreed to something else.”
For a few seconds everything was silent.
“Would you prefer to go home?” he asked softly.
I sat up a bit more. “Why would I want to go home?”
“I don’t know.” A sad smile flit across his face. “Maybe tearing the Band-Aid off all at once hurts less than tearing it off a little bit day by day.”
I stared at him. “You want to end things?”
“No, I don’t.” A tormented expression crossed his face.
“This here… I want to do it again. I want to kiss you. And touch you. And feel you. I want to fall asleep next to you and wake up next to you. Sunset and sunrise. With you.” He softly caressed my cheek.
“But that’s not going to happen. Because you have to leave.
And I’m staying here. We don’t have any future. ”
“Maybe we do.”
I was as surprised by what I said as he was.
“A long-distance relationship?” A doubtful smile appeared at the corner of his mouth. “Between Germany and Hawaii?”
“Well, I mean, I’m really only in Munich between competitions.”
“Which doesn’t make things easier.”
He wasn’t wrong, but I wanted to think things through to the end.
“A large part of the competitions take place in the USA. San Diego, Austin, Indian Wells, Miami, Washington, Cleveland…Cincinnati.”
“Yeah, but those are all long-distance flights for me.” His jaw tightened. “Where am I going to get the money?”
“I’m sure there’s a solution.” I refrained from suggesting that I pay for them.
“And how would I arrange that with the hostel?” He frowned. “I can’t just close whenever I want, especially not in the first year.”
Even if he was right, his defensiveness hurt my feelings.
“Lou.” His eyes were infinitely sad. “I just don’t see how this…”
“And if I moved here?” For a moment I was shocked by the direction my thoughts had taken, but the feeling quickly turned into euphoria. “I could live here instead of Munich. Train here. At Kay’s.”
“You mean that?”
“Flying back to Munich or here in between competitions wouldn’t make much of a difference.”
“In terms of distance, no, but…your whole life is in Munich. Your folks. You’d hardly ever see them.”
“My parents accompany me on tour anyway. And when they fly back to Munich, I’ll just fly here to you.”
I didn’t miss the skeptical look that flashed through his eyes, and it really put a damper on my mood.
“I’m just trying to find a way for us to be together,” I mumbled, trying not to sound offended.
“I know, I know,” he said soothingly, drawing my head toward his upper body. “It’s just… It’s just that I never even considered that it could be an option.”
“Me neither.”
I couldn’t understand how it was possible for me to become so attached to him in just a few weeks. But I had, and I couldn’t deny it. And if he felt the same way, there just had to be some way we could be together and make it work.