26
Sable
“Hey, come on in. Justine will be happy to see you.”
I cleared my throat as Justine’s boyfriend stepped to the side to let me inside their home. He was freaking stunning. I knew what Jazzy saw in him. He wasn’t all about the good looks, either. The guy had taken care of her like a princess from the moment they’d met. They were a pair made by fate.
Their apartment was on the opposite side of town, and while nowhere in Modesto was especially nice, it was a much better place than what I was renting. I shivered as the AC hit me—the ceiling fan rotated so fast it was enough to make it colder than a freezer in the room.
“Sorry for the temperature. It’s one of the few things that keeps her from getting sick. At this point, I’m desperate to do anything to make her comfortable.”
I gave the man a smile while he continued to lead me through the space. It had been weeks since Justine had been at work. There was no telling if she would ever return. Not after this. It all depended on how she was feeling in the end. Whether her body was able to snap back.
One of the things I liked about Faded Sins was that we celebrated all body types. We had stick-thin dancers, ones that sported all the bumps and curves, and everything in between. It was why there were men as well.
All the curtains were closed in the bedroom, which was just as cold, if not colder than the rest of the apartment.
There was a lump in the middle of the sheets that I assumed was my best friend.
When she texted me telling me she needed to see me, that she had earth-shattering news...
she didn’t even need to tell me. I somehow knew.
Fucking Raven had no business blasting any of that at the club, especially when that hadn’t been confirmed at the time.
Justine’s boyfriend left me at the doorway. I entered the room, climbing onto the bed behind the lump, wrapping my arms around my friend.
“How did this happen?” I asked. Okay, so I wasn’t an idiot.
I knew how babies were made, but Justine had always been so careful with her religious birth control regimens.
She was on the shot, which I understood was extremely dependable as long as you got it at the same time every three months.
Justine had multiple calendar reminders to verify she got her next dosage on time.
She only groaned as she pulled down the sheets to reveal her pale, sweaty face. “I don’t know. I guess I’m that super lucky point zero, zero, one percent?”
God, she looked miserable. The last time she was in the club, she hadn’t looked healthy, but her face was completely gaunt. The shadows beneath her eyes were big enough to have their own postal code.
“Have you decided what to do?” Part of me thought it was insensitive to ask, but Justine and I had been close for far too long to beat around the bush.
She sighed, crawling out from under her blanket burrito, forcing me to let go of her.
Seeing the whole person? God, I barely recognized her. How sick had she been? Surely morning sickness wasn’t that bad?
“So at first...” she stopped to take a deep breath, swaying a little like the surrounding room was spinning. “I didn’t want to do this. Taylor and I went to the clinic because neither of us is in a place to have or want children...”
She trailed off again. Instead of pressuring her to continue, I reached out to take her hand. Her smile was weak at first, but then she finally kept talking.
“I don’t know. The longer I sat there waiting for them to call me back for my appointment?
I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What would this baby be like?
What if this was my only chance at being a mom?
I’d already hit some sort of weird lucky streak by getting pregnant at all.
No one seems to understand just how hard that decision is. ”
“Oh, Jazzy.” Her stage name fell from my lips so much easier, but it didn’t detract from the moment. She’d made a huge, life-altering choice. It meant big changes for her, Taylor, and their soon to be child.
“The room was filled with women crying. I talked to this one girl who wanted to have a baby so badly, but there just wasn’t a way for her to do it.
She had no support system—her finances would shatter more than where she was already if a baby was added...
” She took another deep breath. I wiped at her face as tears fell freely at that point.
“I don’t know. Financially, we can do it.
I wanted children, just not now. Maybe it was all a sign. ”
I pulled my friend into a tight hug because I couldn’t imagine having to choose something like that.
“So we left, headed for an obstetrician instead because I knew I hadn’t been taking the best care of myself.
I had to make sure that if I was really doing this, I had to be healthy enough to carry a baby for, fuck, ten months.
Did you know it was ten months, by the way?
Everyone says nine, but that’s a big fat joke. ”
I rubbed her back as she kept explaining everything I’d missed over the last few weeks.
Fuck, I’d been so goddamn worried about her.
It wasn’t that far off that something was wrong.
When Raven had said something about Justine being pregnant, I wanted to slap her—now I wanted to do that more than ever.
“Anyway, she diagnosed me with hyper-emesis. Basically, most women experience nausea in the first trimester only. Since I’m sixteen weeks now, I’m officially on my second trimester and shouldn’t be feeling this sick.
I get to experience this throughout my entire pregnancy.
So not only am I super lucky to be pregnant to begin with, but luck was even more on my side by giving me a condition that’s only experienced in about three percent of pregnancies. ”
She was all out sobbing at that point, the shoulder of my shirt soaked from her tears. No one prepares you for the epic breakdown your friends have over the prospect of becoming parents.
“Are you going to be okay?” The question was flat. I didn’t know what else to say. How the hell did you comfort someone going through something like this, if you lacked the complete capacity to understand it?
Justine hiccuped, clutching me harder. The sobs wracked her entire body, making her convulse with each shaking, shuddery breath.
A knock on the door made the two of us pull away for only a moment to see Taylor standing there holding a tray with a steaming cup of something and a pill bottle.
“Hey, baby girl. Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to take your nausea meds again.
I brought you some tea. Maybe that will help you keep them down this time? ”
Justine rapidly wiped at her eyes as she pushed away from me, trying to stand on quivering legs.
She was such a mess. I wanted to wrap her back up in her blankets, telling her to forget about everything else.
We’d all make it work. We had to. This girl had been there for me through some of my worst nightmares.
Now it was my turn to stand in her corner.
She took the tray from her boyfriend, giving him the warmest smile I’d seen her give in a while. It lit up her entire face as she picked up the steaming mug of tea and inhaled the herbal aroma. It smelled so good—I was half tempted to ask for some myself.
Taylor left the room, Justine opening the pill bottle and shaking one tablet in her hand. She didn’t take it right away, only staring at the small white circle in her hand.
“What is it?” I asked because I was genuinely curious about what my friend was experiencing. That meant I wanted to know how to treat it. Not that I was likely to run into it again.
“Phenergan. It’s supposed to make me stop throwing up, but it also makes me so damn tired.
At the rate I’m going, I’ll sleep away this entire pregnancy.
So much for deciding to see what it was like.
” She tossed the pill into her mouth, chasing it with tea.
She winced, probably because the drink was freaking hot.
“Has it helped?”
She let out a humorless laugh. “Not at all. Most times I take it and I’m leaning over the toilet not even ten minutes later. So, I guess, consider this your warning.”
I didn’t want to laugh, but it was still a little funny. Having her see that I wasn’t completely put off by being in her presence while she was like this, made her brighten up a little more.
“What are they going to do? Surely that’s not healthy for you or the baby?”
Justine only shrugged. “Right now we’re playing it all by ear.
The baby seems to still be growing at a healthy rate.
If things get too bad, I might end up having to ride out the pregnancy in the hospital so they can keep me hydrated or hooked up to a feeding tube of some kind.
Talk about making a woman feel like an incubator. ”
I leaned forward, placing a quick kiss against my friend’s cheek. Her skin was tacky with sweat, but I wanted to do anything to make her feel even a tiny bit better.
“Well, you know that I’m here for you. No matter what. I won’t say anything at the club unless you want me to.”
She threw her arms around me in a tight hug. “Those bitches probably already know. It’s not that hard to guess why I’ve been out for so long, just make sure that Raven keeps her whore ass mouth shut. I can’t stand that girl.”
I laughed, hugging her back just as tightly. “I don’t think many of us do. In all the time we’ve been there, I’ve never seen someone come in pissing off quite so many people like she has.”
Just as suddenly as the levity came, I was shoved from Justine’s hold as she bolted for the bathroom. So it hadn’t been ten minutes yet, but she hadn’t been kidding about not being able to keep anything down.
Taking it as my cue to leave, I stood up from the bed. Taylor was standing in the doorway, watching the whole thing. Had he been there the whole time? I hadn’t noticed?
“Thanks for looking out for her.”