30
Sable
You ever have those nights where everything just feels wrong. That was me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen. It was ridiculous because there was no reason for it. Everything had been going great.
I’d come to the club early, was sitting on a barstool talking to Victor.
“So how are things going with Orion?”
I took a preparing breath before giving him a lopsided grin.
“Oh, I know that look. You like him.”
I laughed. “Of course I like him.”
Victor shook his head as he dried the glasses that were fresh from the dishwasher, laying them on the shelf to be ready for use that night. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
I did know it. It was problematic. I’d let Orion in more than I’d let anyone in. In some ways, he knew me better than Victor did,one of my closest friends.
Instead of answering him right away, I motioned to one of the bottles on the liquor wall. After all the years we’d known each other, he knew what I was asking for. If we were going to talk about this, I needed some liquid courage.
How fucked up was that? I couldn’t talk about my feelings without having some alcohol in me at first.
Victor set out two shot glasses on the bar top. When I raised an eyebrow at him, he only shrugged before pouring two shots of vodka. He picked up one of them before handing the other to me. We clinked the little glasses together before tossing them back.
“It’s that bad, huh?” he asked.
I laughed, slamming the shot glass on the counter.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve ever felt like this before.
Sure, I’ve liked guys, dated, but this seems so different.
We’re connected somehow. I know that it’s all sorts of wrong since he’s married, but like... ” I trailed off because I was rambling.
Victor didn’t seem to mind. He only poured another shot for the both of us. We took it. I continued my story. It was amazing how much vodka could loosen my tongue.
“I’ve never had someone who just wanted to get to know me. Ya know? Sure, the sex is fantastic. Maybe some of the best I’ve ever had, no offense, but we talk. There’s something more there.”
Victor cleared his throat. “We talk.”
The words startled me for a moment. I looked up. Fuck, he looked so damn vulnerable. Maybe I missed the moment when my friends with benefits feelings had become something more.
“Shit, Victor. I didn’t—I didn’t realize.”
He laughed, holding his hand up between us. “It’s okay. I knew what this was from the beginning. I let my emotions get in the way, anyway. I’ll get over it. At the end of the day, I just want to see you happy.”
And I was happy.
To know that was all Victor wanted for me made my heart swell for him. He was so damn selfless. Had circumstances been different, maybe I would have given him a chance to be more.
He poured us another round of shots. Realistically, I shouldn’t do another.
I was already feeling the two I’d had. I would really feel a third.
At least I had a little while before I had to be on stage to perform.
It wasn’t like I had Justine around to help me get ready anymore.
No one was as close to me as she was. If I gave someone else my make-up because I was too tipsy to put it on myself, I’d probably end up looking like a clown. Especially if it were Raven doing it.
It was like thinking of Raven summoned her.
She came stumbling into the club, looking less put-together than she normally was.
Her hair had tangles in it—her clothes were a mess.
She looked around the empty room before her eyes landed on me and Victor at the bar.
Her eyes widened momentarily like she was hoping she wouldn’t get caught coming looking like something out of one of the putrid dumpsters out back.
Lucky for her, neither of us couldn't care less. She’d been such a bitch lately.
She pulled her leather jacket around her upper body as she stuck her nose up in the air. Go figure that even when she looked like a wreck she still wanted to act like she was better than everyone else.
“I should go get ready,” I said as I picked up the full shot glass in front of me.
Victor nodded as he did the same. We clinked our glasses together once more before tossing back the liquor.
I stood up from my seat. The room swayed a little.
I took a steadying breath. The third shot was probably a mistake.
I’d regret it a little later, but in the meantime it made me feel nice and floaty.
It helped not to think about the feelings I’d revealed to my friend. Or the feelings he’d revealed to me.
Things backstage didn’t feel any better than they had out in the bar.
If anything, it was more tense. All the dancers were watching Raven since she seemed to be acting sort of erratically.
She kept looking over her shoulder like someone was coming for her, and she wouldn’t sit in her seat.
From time to time, she would start mumbling to herself.
Everyone seemed on edge because they hadn’t ever seen her act like that before.
Whiskey plopped into the chair next to me, and I’d been so distracted by what was happening with Raven that I hadn’t even noticed that he was in that night.
“What’s her deal?” he asked.
I shrugged as I pulled out all my makeup brushes. With the buzz I had going on from the shots, I’d be lucky if I got some eyeshadow and eyeliner on correctly. What kind of fucking vodka had Victor given me? It had to be stronger than what I normally drank.
When I didn’t answer Whiskey, he pushed my shoulder right as I was about to press the eye pencil to the corner of my eye. Thankfully, I didn’t gouge myself, but it was hard to be annoyed with him. I had ignored him after all.
“What’s going on with Raven?” he asked again.
I let out a breath and set my eye pencil back on the vanity. “Fuck if I know. It’s like she’s paranoid. If she’s on drugs, Henry won’t let her on stage.”
Whiskey only nodded.
“Do you think we should say something?”
As much as I didn’t like the girl, I also hated it when people stuck their noses into other people’s business.
If something were actually wrong, Henry would notice.
He kept an eye on all of us before we went on stage.
I was already pushing limits with my few drinks.
He was actually a great boss, all things considered.
He’d never actually let any of us get hurt or hurt someone else.
“I try not to worry about her too much.” Maybe it made me an asshole, but Raven hadn’t been very nice to anyone.
Even Whiskey shrugged it off and got up to grab his own things before he was back in the seat next to me.
It was Justine’s spot, but she wouldn’t be back for months, if ever.
Something soured in my stomach because I missed my friend.
I needed to go check on her and Taylor again soon.
We got ready, and Whiskey asked me offhand questions every once in a while.
It was sort of nice getting to know him.
I hadn’t made much of an effort to get to know a lot of the other dancers.
Sometimes it was better not to get too attached because a lot of them didn’t stick around for long.
This was a midpoint before moving on to something else.
Unlike me, who thought I needed to make this a career.
“Do you think you can teach me that thing you do where you slide into the splits afterward? I’ve been working on my flexibility and I think I’m about at the point that I can do it, but I’d feel better if someone showed me how to do it correctly.”
The question took me by surprise. I wasn’t a classically trained dancer by any means. Most of what I did just felt right, and I liked to just move with the music, but I knew what he was talking about. If you didn’t stretch properly beforehand, you could really hurt yourself doing shit like that.
“Yeah, I can show you how to do a few things.”
That made his face light up, and, okay, it was nice to make a new friend.
Especially because there were so few of us men.
Whiskey had been sweet since the very beginning, and part of me started formulating a plan in my head to hook him up with Victor.
If the man couldn’t have me, maybe he’d like Whiskey as well.
But the thought fell flat. I was a terrible matchmaker, and maybe doing something like that after the guy had just put his heart on the line was sort of shitty.
Something crashed behind us, and we turned to look.
Raven had pushed everything off her vanity, and she stood there with her hands over her face like she were crying.
While I hadn’t been all that worried about her before, this was extremely unusual behavior, and the fact that no one was checking on her was also concerning.
It didn’t matter how much of a bitch she’d been—this was clearly a cry for help.
I stood from my seat but didn’t make it very far when Henry came around the corner. The back room fell silent as he made his way over to Raven, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He whispered something in her ear, to which she nodded.
Henry looked around the room at all of us. “Please go about your business. I have it from here.”
No one moved. No one had ever seen anything like this before. Dancers had come in under the influence in the past, but nothing had ever been to this extreme. Just as suddenly everyone seemed to snap out of their collective trance, then the whispers started.
No one had time to keep thinking about what happened because it was opening time for the club—dancers started heading for the stage, and music was filling the space. I tried to do my eye makeup once more, which was now a little easier since the whole thing had sobered me up quite a bit.