34
Sable
The bright lights above me stung my eyes.
Where the fuck was I?
“Sable?”
I turned my head in the direction of my name, frowning. The person sitting next to me was hazy. I couldn’t make out their features right away.
Shit. Had I passed out? That hadn’t happened before. It made sense, though. I couldn’t remember much after trying to find my inhaler.
There was an oxygen mask over my face—the cold air blowing at me was more of an irritation at that point. I knew how all of this worked. I couldn’t take it off because it all served a purpose.
Then the room came into focus. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep to avoid seeing the man sitting in the chair next to me.
“Sable?” Orion said again as he leaned in closer.
Fuck, had I really called him? Even if I hadn’t been completely with it, surely I wouldn’t have been so stupid. He didn’t deserve to see me this way. No one did. But especially not him after everything he’d lied to me about.
Okay, so maybe he hadn’t lied, but he hadn’t told me everything. The one person who could have told me to protect me. He’d thrown it all away to protect someone who had just destroyed my entire life.
My eyes burned as I tried to fight back the tears. There had to be someone better here to see me. Why the fuck had I called him? Had I called him? I couldn’t even remember. I do remember trying to get my phone, but that was it.
His hand landed on my shoulder—I flinched from his touch. The warmth of his palm disappeared. I wanted badly to get it back, but my entire being also rejected it. Why the fuck would I want comfort from someone who’d hurt me so damn badly?
Because I knew, in the back of my mind, that despite all of it, I’d fallen for him at some point.
Between his continuous visits to the club, our late-night conversations, I’d gotten a chance to know him.
It was hard to see past the betrayal. Somehow I felt that I needed to.
In order to survive, I needed to. No one had ever broken me so completely.
No overly possessive boyfriend who couldn’t handle my job had ever shattered me so completely.
“Sable?” he tried one more time.
A sob escaped my lips because turning him away was impossible.
The air blasting in my face was more irritating than ever.
All I wanted to do was pull off the damn oxygen mask to take off running.
I needed to escape because this was too hard.
When I was in such a weak state, I couldn’t control what I said.
“Please,” I gasped. “Leave.” It wasn’t what I wanted to say.
I wanted to tell him to crawl into this damn hospital bed, wrap his arms around me, and keep me as close as possible.
Places like this always brought back the worst of memories because no one here knew not to call me by my legal name.
I would be fucking Kevin Spencer the entire time I was there.
It would only drag out more terrible memories.
But Orion wasn’t having it. He ignored my plea—it was like he’d crawled inside my head knowing what I really wanted. He slid behind me in the bed, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest.
Warmth washed over me as we lay there. My whole body shook, not from the cold.
It probably had more to do with the steroids from the nebulizer they had me hooked up to.
They’d always made me feel so out of sorts.
I knew why they were necessary. I had no idea how long I’d been out or how bad off I’d been when Orion had found me.
That still felt wrong. I was sure I’d tried to get a hold of Victor.
“Mr. Spencer?” someone knocked on the door. My body tensed immediately at the name.
“Sable.”
My eyes widened as Orion sat up behind me, sitting on the edge of the bed like he hadn’t just been completely wrapped around me.
There was a woman standing in the doorway with a tray held in her arms. She must have been bringing me my food, looking so confused to hear someone say a different name. No doubt thinking she’d entered the wrong room. The moment she went to back away, Orion stopped her.
“You called him Mr. Spencer. He doesn’t go by that name. His name is Sable.”
The woman relaxed, but her smile still seemed forced. “My apologies.” She walked into the room, setting the tray on the bedside table, and then turned to leave. Orion didn’t bother her anymore, not that I expected him to. I hadn’t expected him to correct her on my name either.
Orion stood from the bed, pulling the tray closer to me.
He pulled the plastic cover off the plate.
, wrinkling his nose. When I saw what was there, I did the same.
It wasn’t that hospital food was bad, it never looked good, but The plate contained a grey substance that could have been meat with, a pile of pasty-looking mashed potatoes, some carrots, and the whole thing was smothered in some kind of brown goo.
I didn’t get the chance to contemplate the appearance any further or consider eating it before someone else was knocking at my door again. This time it was a man in a white coat with light blue scrubs. He wore a stethoscope around his neck. My guess would be a nurse or a doctor.
“Glad to see you’re finally awake, Mr. Spencer.”
I bristled at the name again, to my surprise, Orion also looked annoyed. For someone who had used my name inappropriately within the last few days, he was getting awfully defensive.
“Uhm, yeah?” my voice surprised me. It sounded like my vocal cords had been rubbed raw by 80-grit sandpaper.
The man smiled as entered the room, shutting the door behind them. Orion put the lid back on the food, not that anyone was going to eat whatever that was, anyway. I wasn’t hungry. All I could think about was how tired I still felt, how much I wanted to close my eyes.
“Your boyfriend here is a real lifesaver. When the paramedics brought you in, your O2 sat was at eighty-five percent.”
Boyfriend? I wanted to scoff.
If this had been before the arrest, maybe hearing that statement would have made me feel happy.
Now it made me scowl. Was that what he’d told them in order to be in the room with me?
They normally only allowed friends and family.
How the hell was I sitting there listening to this without telling them that he was neither.
Just someone I’d made an epic mistake with.
“Can you slow down a little?” Orion asked. “What does all of that mean?”
The man laughed. “Sorry, I get ahead of myself sometimes. I’m Doctor Abrahms. When you called 911, the paramedics arrived—his oxygen levels were in the eighties.
Anything below ninety is dangerous because then you start looking at things like organ death.
If you had waited any longer to call, he’d be in a lot worse shape than he is. ”
God, I hated hearing that. The last thing I needed was an extended hospital stay on top of all the other shit that had just gone down.
There was no way I could pay for any of it.
I was already trying to think of how I would pay for an ambulance ride and the time I’d already been in the hospital.
It was so fucked up because I should have been thinking about getting better, not stressing over the money.
“So, is there a plan?” Orion had crossed his arms over his chest—it was sweet that he was taking charge, but there was still that voice in my head that said he shouldn’t be there at all. He was partially responsible for my life falling apart. How many more secrets did he have that could ruin me?
Doctor Abrahms nodded, looking over in my direction.
“I’m going to do a quick examination. Your oxygen levels are perfect right now, so we’re going to take off the nebulizer and oxygen mask.
If he can maintain his levels through the night, there’s no reason Mr. Spencer can’t go home in the morning. ”
The name made me flinch again.
Orion cleared his throat, getting the doctor’s attention. “Is there a way to make a note on his chart? He prefers to go by Sable—nothing else.”
Dr. Abrahms’ eyes widened momentarily before looking back at me. “My apologies, Sable. It’s normally something I would ask about, but you’ve been asleep this whole time.”
“‘S'okay,” I slurred. It really wasn’t, but I appreciated that he was making an effort by at least apologizing.
He moved over to my bedside, lifting the stethoscope to his ears. Before continuing, he stopped looking between me and Orion. “Is it alright if I do this exam with your boyfriend in the room?”
The question was for me, I still didn’t know how to react to Orion being called my boyfriend. When I was a kid, these exams mostly just consisted of listening to my lungs. Orion looked so fucking concerned, his eyes all wide like a wounded puppy. I couldn’t send him out of the room.
My throat was dessicate from the oxygen mask—it was hard to even swallow to wet it. “It’s fine.” God, I hated that I couldn’t get out more than one or two words.
Orion visibly relaxed, his shoulders lowering as he moved to sit in a chair out of Dr. Abrahms’ way.
The doctor went about his examination, which went about as I expected. He placed the round part of the stethoscope against my chest, instructing me to breathe deep. It felt like it was a stupid thing to do since I still had the mask on, but there had to be a reason he wanted to hear it both ways.
After the first few breaths, he helped me to take the plastic covering off my face. It was so much better not to have all that air blowing at me.
The bell of the stethoscope moved up and down my chest before Dr. Abrahms moved to my back.
When I looked over at Orion, he was just sitting there watching the entire thing like it weren’t the biggest deal in the world that I was in such a vulnerable state.
I hated that he was seeing me this way. There was a part of me that wanted him to only see me as the confident sex worker that I’d been.
“All looks and sounds good. We’re going to leave the oxygen off for now. During the night, a nurse will be in to monitor your oxygen levels. If they stay up, you’ll be good to go in the morning.”
I nodded at the doctor’s explanation, even if it felt repetitive at that point.
There was a reason they said things over and over.
Some people were so sick when they were in the hospital, it took them a while to absorb what was being said to them.
While my own brain was still being a bit sluggish, I was at least comprehending what was going on.
The doctor left the room, leaving me alone with Orion.
I swallowed thickly to take some of the edge off the tension.
It didn’t seem to help at all. How the hell was I supposed to talk to Orion now?
Tell him to just get the fuck out? The guy basically just saved my life, that made me feel all kinds of fucked up.
“Thank you.” The words felt inadequate, also like I was giving in. There was no way I could forgive him so easily. He didn’t deserve that because there were still too many questions. I somehow knew that it was going to get so much worse before it got better.
It was like Orion knew. Instead of saying anything, he only gave me a smile, nodding his head.
The exhaustion setting in was making it so I could no longer fight the onslaught of sleep plaguing me.
I needed to get some more sleep because with nurses coming in at all hours of the night—it wasn’t like I was going to be all that rested. Another thing I hated about hospitals.
I rolled away from Orion, closing my eyes.
It didn’t take but a few minutes before he was crawling back into the bed behind me.
I wanted so badly to tell him to leave me alone, but in one of my least favorite places, with all the terrible memories caving in around me, I was more than a little willing to accept any form of comfort.