Chapter 3
The Dee-Light Motel, Oakland, California
The Past
THERE ARE TWENTY rooms with doors that open on a big parking lot.
Ours has orange shag carpet and purple flowers printed on a tan bedspread.
The walls are painted yellow, and the ceiling has a water stain that looks like an elephant.
I trace the flowers on the bedspread, fingers running over the stiff material as I watch a movie.
I only get to watch TV when one of Mama J’s special men spring for a room, so this is a treat.
The movie is called The River Wild. It’s about Gail, a teacher who used to be a river guide.
Her family isn’t getting along so she decides to take her husband, son, and their dog on a whitewater river trip.
They meet some guys rafting, and when Gail realizes that they’re in over their head, she offers to guide them for the rest of the trip.
The guys are super grateful, but soon, Gail discovers they have a gun, robbed a bank, and killed one of their friends.
Gail’s husband and the dog escape but she and her son are left behind.
Lots of scary stuff happens, and the bad men threaten to kill Gail and her son unless she guides them down a dangerous section of the river called the Gauntlet.
She makes it through the big waves and her husband is waiting and flips the raft to rescue his family.
But it’s Gail who gets the gun and kills the bad guys.
Her family is reunited, including the dog, and they love each other more.
That’s a happily ever after in my book. Plus, I love Gail’s voice and courage.
When I grow up, I want to be just like her.
While I watch the movie, noises and bad words come from the bathroom, but I don’t go to the thin door. Mama J told me to stay put. Eventually, her special friend comes out and pulls a stained undershirt over a flabby chest carpeted with black hair.
“You gonna be just like your mama?” he asks.
When he grins, two of his teeth are gold. I don’t answer. Mama J says not to talk to strangers, and especially men.
“Call me Uncle Jordie,” he says. “You like candy or chips? I can go to the vending machine and get you some.”
This man has narrow-set eyes like one of the bad men in the movie. When he sits down on the edge of the bed, I push backward until I’m pressed into the headboard.
“Uncle Jordie’s gonna tell you the secret to life,” he says with a smirk. “You can always get what you want, if you’re willing to pay for it.”
Mama J stumbles out of the bathroom. “Leave my kid alone.”
“We were just getting know each other. She’s gonna be a beauty.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Mama J slurs.
“Don’t be a bitch,” the man says and heads out the door. Halfway gone, he turns and winks. “See you next week.”
“Not if I see you first,” Mama J replies with a laugh that sounds like she doesn’t think what she said was funny. She falls onto our shared bed and squints at the TV as the movie begins again. “That actress is Meryl Streep.”
“No, her name is Gail.” I can tell that Mama J has taken her medicine.
I’ll stay up all night to make sure she doesn’t throw up in her sleep.
She had a friend who died that way. She’s just in a thin T-shirt and gray undies, the jut of her hips poking out.
I pull up the bedspread so she’s warm enough, and notice Mama J’s neck is red and purple.
Worry nibbles at my insides. “What happened?” I ask.
But I know it was the man. They always leave a mark.