Prologue - 16 years ago #2
Finn was standing in a group of half a dozen lads.
They were drinking beers and trying to look cooler than they were.
One screwed up his face against the bitter taste as he swigged it back.
Another of them yelled out, ‘To Finn!’ and slapped him on the back as they hollered, and roared with laughter then chugged back their beers.
He was definitely in The Club. He was going somewhere after college. And he was the reason she wasn’t.
In that moment, Violet could divide her life into Before Finn and After Finn.
Before Finn, life was going smoothly; she worked hard, she had clear goals and she trusted that the world was fundamentally good and would reward her efforts, commitment, and accomplishments.
She assumed that everyone who was awarded opportunities in life had striven to achieve them.
After Finn entered her life, she knew this was a sham.
Working hard and being good and kind got you nowhere.
Finn’s level of effort was one notch above horizontal.
He was frequently late, terminally disorganised and skilled at worming his way out of consequences.
He was an infectious disease, bringing down everyone around him while he, the virus, thrived.
As a wannabe actor, talent was enough for him.
He could coast along on being good-looking, charming, and being able to get angry or cry on command.
She had to actually work. She had to get grades that demonstrated her intelligence, commitment, and understanding of the demands of stage management.
She had to show herself to be punctual and organised.
She couldn’t just show up on one day, charm and bedazzle an audition panel for ten minutes, then strut off into the sunset, do zero more work and wait for an unconditional offer letter to drop onto the doormat.
Violet had to put the work in every day, across all her courses and modules.
Everything needed to be to a high standard, not just one random audition.
Anna was tugging at Violet’s sleeve, still slightly damp from her crying jag at home.
‘Leave it, Violet. He’s not worth it.’
Violet didn’t hear her as she pulled her arm free. She strode across the courtyard, pushing through the clusters of increasingly giddy and tipsy teenagers until she reached Finn.
‘I want to talk to you,’ she barked, prodding him in the arm. She drew herself up to her full height as she said it. He looked down at her and contemplated her for a moment. Violet made herself hold eye contact, even though it meant staring into his dark eyes.
Finn glanced at the spot she had jabbed him as if glancing at a gnat. ‘Vi. How nice to see you.’ A smile spread across his face, making his eyes crinkle at the corners.
‘Don’t call me Vi,’ she snapped.
‘Wooooo,’ some of the boys chorused. ‘What’s got your knickers in a twist, love?’
Violet levelled a stare at them, and the smiles melted off their faces. Two of them stepped back and slurped at their beers.
‘What’s up, Vi?’ From the smirk on Finn’s face, she knew he was shortening her name on purpose.
She gritted her teeth. She would rise above. She would say her piece, but she would not be baited.
‘What’s ‘up’ Finn, is that I’ve had my theatre school offer withdrawn because I didn’t get a good enough grade in drama.
And that’s all thanks to you fucking about in group assignments.
I needed an A. But the Cs,’ her mouth twisted over the letter, ‘I got from the times I was forced to work with you, dragged my grade down. And before you ask, no!’ She felt the tears well up.
‘No, I have nowhere else to go instead. I was supposed — ‘she took a breath.
‘I had a place at the school I have wanted to go to for as long as I can remember, and now I have nowhere!’
’Nowhere, Vi? Seriously? No-where? You’re being very dramatic about this. Surely you can get something through clearing.’ Finn sipped his beer and smirked. ‘There must be some courses out there trying to fill empty spots.’
One of the people in Finn’s group, a skinny guy with a greasy centre parting, sniggered and echoed, ‘Yeah, courses with empty spots, he he he!’
The lads around him laughed and honked and clinked their beer bottles.
A buzzing noise filled Violet’s head and her blood boiled under her skin.
‘I would have got my first choice if it wasn’t for you!’ she yelled, jabbing a finger into Finn’s chest.
Finn’s friends were backing away now, not wanting to be associated with the drama.
‘Oh, back off, Vi,’ Finn snapped back, slamming his beer can down on the picnic bench.
‘It’s not my fault if you can’t work under pressure.
You’ve been a pain in the arse all year.
You’re like a drill sergeant. You made rehearsals miserable for everyone with your constant bitching and there was nothing I could do to change that. ’
‘You could have shown up on time!’ Violet interjected.
Finn barely noticed the interruption. ‘You never take a break, all you do is work, and you can’t bear it if anyone else doesn’t choose to live by the same rigid rules as you. Drama should be fun, but you managed to suck all the joy out of it.’
The words stung, but Violet was too furious for them to stop her.
‘You’ll get found out, Finn, one day soon. A bit of charm and talent will only get you so far. Then everyone will see you for the lazy, selfish prick you really are, and it will all be over.’
She turned and marched away, pulling her shoulders back and standing as tall as she could as she pushed through the gaggle of students who had turned to stare.
Her future may be uncertain, but the one happy thing she knew for sure was that Finn Ellington wouldn’t be in it.