Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Caroline
“It’s time for bed,” I whisper to Dylan who has been by Justin’s side since he came home. We both have. After he left, I told Dylan to go get his things, and that we were leaving.
He looked at me, and he knew it was the right thing to do. I was almost out the door when Allison caught me and sat me down. She never once told me that I shouldn’t go. Instead, she listened to me and told me to wait for Justin, but I knew that if I waited for him, there would be no turning back.
The minute the door opened and I saw him, I knew I couldn’t walk away from him. I tried. but no matter how much I spun it in my head, I just couldn’t do it.
“Will you tuck me in?” Dylan asks Justin who just gets up. His family just left, and everything is going to go back to normal tomorrow.
“Give your mother a kiss,” Justin says. Dylan comes over, and I kiss his head.
“I’ll meet you in bed.” He leans down and kisses me.
I get up and make sure all the lights are turned off and go wait in bed.
I lie down, looking toward the door as I wait for him to walk in.
After thirty minutes, I get up and walk into Dylan’s room, and they are both sleeping.
Justin has Dylan tucked in beside him. I walk out and go to our bed and try to sleep, and after tossing and turning, he finally walks into the room.
“I fell asleep,” he says, crawling into bed and taking me into his arms. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, and soon after, I’m falling asleep myself.
When his alarm goes off at four, he turns it off, and instead of going to work out, we get lost in each other. Our hands are hungry for each other, and for two hours, all we do is live in the moment. “I need a nap.”
“So sleep,” he says, getting out of bed, and I look at him.
“I have to go to work today,” I say, and he shakes his head.
“You’re not going back there,” he says, and I sit up, holding the sheet to my chest.
“Excuse me?” I say, and he looks over at me as he puts his boxers on. I hate that he’s so good looking and that I love him when he starts to get bossy.
“I don’t want you going back there,” he says, and I get out of bed, walking to put something on.
“I have a job,” I say. “A job that I need.”
“Yeah, and your ex who is slightly unstable is out to get you, so I don’t think you going back there is a smart thing to do.” It bothers me even more when he makes sense.
“I need to work, Justin,” I say, and he shocks me.
“Come work for me,” he says, and I glare at him.
“I need someone to take Amy’s place.” He slips on his shorts. “Do you want coffee?”
“Justin, I already live with you,” I say, and he kisses my neck while he walks out and I slip on the shirt he was wearing last night. “I can’t work for you.” I follow him out of the bedroom and to the kitchen.
“If it makes you feel better, you wouldn’t be working for me,” he says, starting the coffee. “You would be working for my foundation.”
“You know it’s the same thing,” I say. “Plus, now I have to pay for your lawyer.” He slams the cupboard so hard I think it’s going to come off its hinges.
“Don't say that shit again.” He points at me. “Andrew is not your fucking problem.”
“Well, if it wasn’t for me,” I say, and he just glares at me.
“Don’t piss me off, sweetheart,” he says.
“Don’t piss me off, Justin,” I say to him, and then Dylan comes out and rubs his eyes.
“Are we going to camp?” he asks, and Justin shakes his head.
“I’m hungry,” he says, going to the pantry and grabbing a doughnut out of there. He takes a bite and is chewing it on the way back to his room.
“I don’t want you going back there,” he whispers. “What would I tell Dylan if something happened to you?”
“That’s not fair,” I say, refusing to think about it.
“Just think about it,” he says. “Sit down and think about it.”
“Even if I don’t want to, Justin, I have no choice,” I say, and when he starts to say something, I cut him off. “I am not taking money from you.”
“Sweetheart,” he says, and I glare. “Stop being so stubborn.”
“I have to go get ready,” I say to him and walk to the bedroom. With a heavy heart, I get dressed in jeans and a shirt. I kiss Justin and Dylan goodbye and make my way to the church.
When I walk in, Father Rolly is there waiting for me. “Caroline,” he says and comes over to me. “I’ve been thinking about you since Sunday.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come into work yesterday,” I say, and he waves his hand in the air.
“I read about Justin in the paper.” He starts to say. “You’ll know that I went down to the police station yesterday to give my side of the story. I saw everything and so did a couple of the parishioners.”
“Thank you so much, Father,” I say.
“It’s a shame that his team is suspending him,” he says, and I look at him.
“Sorry, what?” I ask, confused.
“The team put out a statement last night saying that until they get to the bottom of it, he is suspended,” Father Rolly says. My heart sinks, and I sit down in the chair.
I’m about to lose it when the door opens, and I’m suddenly terrified it’s Andrew.
My hands start to shake, and I hate to admit that Justin is right.
I think I hold my breath until I see it’s Parker with Viktor following her.
“What in the world are you guys doing here?” I ask, my heart beating normal now.
“I was going to hit up a meeting,” Viktor says, and I look at him. “I’m three years clean.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” I say, and I have so many questions. “Father Rolly, this is Justin’s mom, Parker, and his brother-in-law, Viktor.”
“Father,” Viktor says, nodding at him.
“I just found out that Justin is suspended,” I say low and try not to let the tears come, but they do anyway.
“It’s going to be fine,” Parker says, and I nod and look at Father Rolly.
“I’m sorry to do this to you, but,” I say, taking a deep breath, “I can’t work here anymore.” I’m expecting him to be a bit mad, but instead, he smiles. “I know I need the job, but just now, I was shaking thinking that Andrew was walking in here.”
“The job is going to be here no matter how long you decide,” he says, and then I look over at Parker.
“Will you come with me?” I ask and she just smiles. Then I look at Viktor. “Cheryl is going to be here in five minutes. She runs the meeting, and she is amazing.”
“I’ll wait here,” he says and looks at Parker. “You better tell Zoe that you decided to leave me and not that I just dropped you off.”
Parker laughs and goes over to him. “You’re my favorite,” she says. “Don’t tell the others.”
“You know that we talk, right?” Viktor tells her. “Last week, you told Evan he was your favorite.” Parker gasps.
“He was not supposed to tell you that,” she says. “I really mean it with you.”
“That’s what you told Max,” Viktor says, and Parker throws up her hands.
“I’m ready to go.” She turns to me. “We’re leaving.” I walk out, and she gets in the car and puts her seat belt on. “So where are we going?”
“I have a couple of things I have to do, and I would like for you to be there,” I say, and she just smiles. When we pull up to my old apartment I turn off the truck. “This is my place,” I say, and she looks around.
I walk out, and she follows me, and I wonder if she is scared.
When we get to my place, we walk up the five flights of stairs.
I turn the key and when I walk in, the smell of fresh paint hits us right away.
The windows are closed, and the air is thick.
I see that the futon is gone, and the mattress is not there either.
“This is my home,” I say, turning in a circle.
“Not much to see,” I say, laughing with all the nerves.
She smiles at me and has tears in her eyes.
“Wow, this is harder than I thought,” I say and now it’s me who’s scared. “I love your son.”
“I know,” she says, and she holds her hands together.
“I met Andrew when I was sixteen, and I thought he hung the moon and stars.” I try to swallow, and I’m suddenly sweating. “And at seventeen, I got pregnant. I’m not going to lie. You think that at that age nothing can touch you. It’s never going to happen to you.”
“It takes one time.” She laughs.
“My family kicked me out. I basically had to choose between my child, who I loved with everything that I had even though he was just a little pea”—I brush a tear away—“or my parents.”
“Oh, Caroline,” she says.
“Andrew was supposed to be the it thing. He played football and he was the best quarterback out there, and he got picked up by the biggest university. With that came housing if we were married, so in a small ceremony, we got married. Then he got hurt junior year. Sacked in the stomach, and when the guy landed on him, he crushed his ACL.” My hands start to shake.
“I didn’t know he was on drugs. I was a new mom with no help, and Dylan had colic.
If he was around, he was moody and angry, and I just thought that it was because he was frustrated. ”
“Caroline,” she whispers, “you don’t have to do this.”
“But I want to,” I say. “I have to. You were the first woman Justin ever loved.” She smiles, and the tears roll down her cheeks.
“When I finally realized what was going on, he was too far gone, and I was already going down that black hole with him.
I have never done one drug in my whole life, but then, I owed over fifty thousand dollars in credit card debt, six months of rent, and let's not forget about the dealers that he kept taking shit from and never repaying.” I close my eyes.
“I came home one day, and he was on the couch fucking our landlady because he didn’t have rent.
” Parker gasps. “Three months later when he came home and was coming down from his high, I told him he had to sign a paper so I could get extra diapers from the church. I lied. They were divorce papers that I got online, and the next day, I filed them at the court, and just like that, without him knowing, I cut the tie I had to him. But I still had Dylan, and I tried to shield him and, well, protect him from what his father was. I think I did a pretty good job.”
“No!” Parker almost screams. “You did an amazing job. He’s wonderful and kind and smart. But the best thing he has is his heart of gold. You can’t teach that.”
“I tried to pay off the bills, but whenever I got ahead, Andrew would come around, and well, he would take and steal, and he just kept pushing me down. I moved six times and tried not to let him find me, but when you have a low income, there are only certain places you can rent, and he knew them all. I know that I’m not what you wanted for your son.
I know that you want someone who doesn’t have all this baggage and problems. You guys have a family that people dream about.
You love and support each other, and when push comes to shove, you guys go to war for each other, and well, then you have me.
It’s just me and Dylan, just the two of us.
” I cry now. “But I love him so, so much. I didn’t think I could love someone this much.
I wanted to run and give him a chance to find someone better.
” I look down. “You protect the ones you love. And I love him with everything I have to give, which isn’t much. ”
“But to him, it’s everything,” Parker says. “I’m not going to lie to you. We were scared for him. Andrew is not stable, and that has nothing to do with you. But as a mom …”
“You want your kids safe no matter how old they are,” I fill in for her. “I can’t walk away from him.” I shake my head. “But I don’t want him to have to choose between me and his family.”
“He won’t have to choose.” Parker now comes to me and takes me in her arms. I sob when she hugs me. “He’ll never have to choose. You and Dylan are a part of him, and my boys know what they want.”
“He’s stubborn,” I say, laughing. “And annoying.”
“Oh, honey, it’s going to get so much worse.” She laughs. I step away from her and go to the bathroom, grabbing some toilet paper for us.
“He almost forbade me from going to work today,” I say, and she laughs when she dabs her eyes. “Which is even more annoying, since he was right.”
“If you tell them I said this next part, I will deny it,” she says and leans in. “They usually are.”
“Then he offered me a job with his foundation.” I shake my head. “Which I’m going to have to take now since I need a job.”
“He’s going to be so happy,” she says, and I nod.
“I have one more stop before I go to him and one, accept the job, and then two, yell at him for not telling me about getting suspended.”
She laughs. “Let’s go.” She looks around. “I would take whatever you want to keep. You are never coming back here again, and that’s coming from me, and if I have to, I’ll tell Cooper.”
“So it’s the whole family that is like that.”
“It’s a Stone thing,” she says, laughing, and for the first time in this apartment, I laugh with a full heart.