Chapter 19 #2
‘What did they do? Are you okay?’ Rhys’ hand shoots out for my arm, holding me as if to inspect me. My gaze shoots to where he touches me, amazing at how huge he is. You know what they say about big hands…
I shake my head, both to confirm I am unscathed and to get my thoughts into business mode. ‘No. No. I’m fine. He asked me for directions because he was lost. Alina was nearby, though, so I warned her about him.’
He glances at his walkie talkie and pulls a face. ‘Must have missed the message. Literally turned it down to speak to Bryn. I’m sure she has it in hand, but I’ll go speak to her later. Thanks for letting me know, Luce.’ He squeezes my arm then releases me, turning to Cai. ‘You ready to go?’
Cai hops from foot to foot, his worry already replaced with something else. He clings to Bethan’s hand so tightly, her skin turns white, glowing in the dimly lit area. ‘Yes! I’m so ready to get this show on the road.’
‘He always gets like this,’ Bethan explains to me. ‘But it’s better than him puking.’
‘I do not puke.’
‘You used to,’ Rhys cuts in. ‘Couldn’t face a stage without hurling.’
‘Shut up, both of you. You coming to the wings, Lucy?’
‘Yep.’ I don’t want to miss an opportunity like this, either. Watching the show from the side of the stage, so close to the artist and the fans, is like being a part of the set. Cai’s fans would kill for this chance, and I’m not going to waste it.
‘Well, you don’t need this, then.’ The pads of Rhys’ fingers trace up my neck.
He lifts my hair to remove my earpiece. I forget how to breathe.
He turns my walkie off and pulls it from my belt, his pinky dangerously close to where my blouse and jeans only just meet.
‘I’m wired into mine. Have to be, cos not all of us get a break.
Bryn’s on the floor but someone’s got to stay close to Cai. You focus on enjoying yourself.’
Oh, okay. If I must. His breath warms my cheek.
One shift and I could grip his hip, pull him closer to me.
As it is, I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop the small whimper escaping.
He’s driving me bonkers with all these small touches.
What I would give to twist into him for the kiss I’m longing to steal, to wrap my arms around him so we’re pressed against each other from tip to toe.
But we can’t. Not here. Rules and protocols exist for a reason.
I can’t let the magic of him, of his fingers and his teasing and the fact I’m suffering a massive dry spell force me into outting us in front of all our colleagues.
Especially when I don’t even know what us means yet.
I force myself to step away, put some space between us. His grin only grows.
I use the short walk towards the wings to calm myself, but give up completely when we get there.
It’s been a while since Topaz has had a tour for himself, had an entire arena calling his name.
He was focusing on smaller venues, trying out new things.
Didn’t want to take them to the world’s stage before he was ready.
Cai’s fans pack the place from roof to floor.
The supporting act are already off the stage, and canned pop music blares out from the skyscraper-sized speakers, barely audible over the rumble of conversation.
‘Pretty cool, huh?’ Rhys’ words rustle through my curls.
Although the wings have plenty of space for us to spread out, he’s standing directly behind me.
Probably to wind me up. The tension coils tighter in my belly with every continued breath against my hair.
He’s so close, it would take only the slightest twitch for his hand to rest on my hip.
Or I could take a step back to put my body flush with his.
All of my hormones scream with the need for some proper contact from him.
Bethan clears her throat and I lurch forward to create more distance. I don’t need another grilling. For two hours, she interviewed me when I got back yesterday. She couldn’t accept that nothing happened.
Not through lack of trying, though.
‘I’ll never get bored of this.’ Even though the moment’s passed, I still reply to Rhys. I don’t want him thinking I’ve forgotten him. As if I could.
The lights go out and take the background noise with them.
A stagehand flicks on a torch so Cai can find his guitar.
He pulls it on, grabs a kiss from Bethan, then salutes me and Rhys.
The LED backdrop illuminates the crowd, counting down to the start of the show.
Everyone goes wild. The rest of the band joins Cai, and he flexes his fingers in, out, stretching them once more so he’s ready to play.
Ten. Nine. Eight…
Pinpricks of light shine out from the dark, slow at first, but populating the stalls quicker as the fans count down to zero. Hundreds of mobile phones make it look like someone has emptied a bag of stars into the hall. Even Rhys sucks in a sharp breath. It’s beautiful.
‘See you guys later!’ Cai strums his first electric note next to us.
The venue explodes when he steps out onto the stage, the noise enough to shake the entire city on its foundations. A crescendo of cheers crashes over me, washing away all my thoughts, letting me dissolve into the music. My pulse pounds with the kick drum.
‘Caught up in emotions, that feel like taboo,’ he sings. ‘It’s like a wildfire. Ni allaf guddio.’
Bethan reaches for me, twisting our fingers together to pull me away from her brother’s heat. She dances and I join in, for once, not caring who can see me and judge me. Fat girls are allowed to move, after all.
My skin prickles; Rhys is watching me. One glance at him would confirm it, but I keep my eyes on her instead.
I dance harder, putting on a show for him, acting a goof.
If he’s going to wind me up, I’m going to play right back.
I’ve never had rhythm, never learned to dance, only hitting the floor after a couple of drinks.
But tonight, it doesn’t matter.
Cai’s music is my alcohol, and I let the beat pour through me, jerking and rippling and spinning around with Bethan.
This is the best feeling ever.
We don’t stop until the songs slow, and she abandons me to get closer to the stage.
‘Fy nghalon. I’ll always be in love with you, no matter what we’re going through.’
She stands right on the edge of the wings, arms wrapped around herself. How romantic, to have a song written about you. I retreat, giving her space to enjoy this properly, until I’m only a hair’s breadth away from Rhys.
Although his gaze is fixed on the stage – a hard, assessing stare at Cai – he puffs out a breath when I’m settled. Hidden by the size of me, he eases his hand along the path of my belt until it rests on my hip. Then his thumb pushes under the bottom of my blouse to stroke my skin.
The urge rushes back. The one calling for me to touch him; to hold his hand; to reach up, pull him in for a hard kiss. Nobody’s here to watch us. The stage crew are busy looking after Cai. This would be the perfect moment.
And I truly want this with him. I’ve never been on a good date before.
My time at home is limited, the men on dating apps suck, and when I do take a risk on meeting them, they’re never worth my precious time or energy.
Last night was magical. He opened up to me, showing me a side of him I’m positive he doesn’t give to many people.
It was comfortable, like our awful few weeks never happened, like we’ve known each other forever.
What started as innocent flirting on the bus, only a little over a day ago, has exploded into something much bigger.
His thumb drags painfully slow lines over my hip, in syncopation with the steady thrum of Cai’s next ballad and completely out of time with the whumpf of my pulse in my ears.
Goosebumps spread over every inch of my skin, radiating from the single touchpoint, driving me insane.
It’s hot under the spill of the spotlight, the heat from the thousands of bodies pressing closer to the stage, yet I shudder.
Chess flirting, playing footsie, the damn blasted minute where we waited on the front door step and all I wanted was for him to kiss me. None of this is in my imagination. It’s here and it’s real.
If I don’t get to speak to him at the party later, I’ll hunt him down at The Rectory. I allocated him the room closest to the front door. Nobody will see us. I won’t go to bed without talking to him.
I lose track of the rest of Cai’s set, my brain firmly lodged in eventualities. I have boundaries, but who doesn’t? And if he’s happy to accept them, then we could be in for a really good night. For now, though, I sink closer to him, enjoying his sturdiness, his warmth, his scent.
Two encores don’t rouse me, but the house lights blind me when they finally come up, startling me back to reality.
It takes every ounce of my energy, but I break apart from Rhys before Bethan or Cai can spot us.
When I stoop to get Cai’s towel and bottle of water, I catch Rhys’ eye. He smirks back at me.
Oh, we’ll be chatting at the after-party for sure.