Chapter 24 #3
It’s a gentle request, his tone picked carefully, as if asking too loud would scare my life story away.
It tells me I can refuse if I want to, and he won’t be upset.
It won’t change things between us. Say no, and we can kiss for a bit then go back to the house, join the others.
It could still go on the books as a lovely first date.
I tilt my head to the side, straining in the darkness to see him properly.
The lack of light has stolen his freckles, but maybe it’s for the best. It would be easy to be distracted by them, by his deep blue eyes luring me in like a siren.
I won’t be able to see his lips pouting at me, begging to be kissed because that’s much nicer than giving him my backstory.
Not that it’s bad. My life has been pretty easy compared to a lot of other people’s. Compared to his.
‘Gay couples couldn’t adopt in the 90s. Or at least, they could, but the systems made it extremely difficult.
Tom and Steve had tried for ten years already.
There were no joint adoption rights. You needed to be married – which only heterosexuals were allowed to be – or apply as a single applicant.
They were loath to do it, they used to tell me, until they saw my little face in an emergency campaign.
It was like a calling, they said. They needed to stop me from going into the system.
I was too wide-eyed and chubby and cute for it. ’
I pluck a stem of wheat from the earth and remove its kernels, spike by spike.
‘Steve didn’t become my legal guardian until I was nine.
It was awful for him. Tom was always acknowledged as my dad, even though to me, he’s Papa.
The school called Tom when I was sick, it was his name on top of all my documents. Steve…Dad…didn’t get acknowledged.
‘They gave up a lot to have me. Some of their friends and family didn’t believe it was appropriate for a gay couple to adopt a child so stopped talking to them.
They also went without, to give me the best start they possibly could.
Papa Tom worked two jobs to pay my tuition fees for Cheltenham Ladies College.
We didn’t go on holiday, didn’t eat out as a family.
Their focus was solely on my education. And I repaid them by getting top grades in all my classes, a first in my degree in marketing. ’
‘You’re lucky to have them.’ There isn’t a hint of jealousy in his voice. His dad was the exact opposite of mine, and I got two of them. It’s a bit selfish of me.
I nod. ‘I don’t know what my life would have been like if I’d stayed with her. Probably would have ended up the same way as her – dying young of an overdose. And now, everything I do honours their efforts. I didn’t tell them Topaz fired me.’
The side of my face prickles where Rhys stares at me. I don’t have to look at him to know he’s frowning when he asks, ‘Why not?’
I shrug. ‘It was my fault—’
‘No, it wasn’t—’
‘I was the one who quit, Rhys.’
‘But—’
‘No. Don’t. The job was awful. I can see it now.
But I handled it poorly. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.
And there was no way I could tell them. The opportunities they’d given me – Cheltenham Ladies College, a fully funded degree in Marketing in Leeds – was all because of their hard work.
I couldn’t exactly tell them I quit the first time it got difficult. ’
‘So what did they think happened?’
‘I stayed quiet about it until I signed for Cai. Then I told them I decided to move on to something bigger. They’re excited about it and are already planning a trip to visit once we’re home.’
Rhys slides his hand onto my leg, not putting too much pressure into the touch, but it’s enough to tell me that he’s here, he’s by my side no matter what. He smiles at me through the darkness.
‘Didn’t think I’d ever want to meet the parents. But I’m kind of excited to meet these guys.’
‘They’re going to love you.’
‘Reckon they’d be proud of you for leaving a toxic workplace, if you decided to tell them the truth. How could they not be? Topaz is a bellend.’
‘I don’t want to disappoint them.’
‘Nothing you could do would disappoint them. I know I don’t know them, but I reckon they’d fucking adore you even if you told them you murdered a whole boyband.
Cos you’re fucking brilliant, Luce. They saw it when you were a bab.
Tom took two jobs cos they saw your potential.
And if they did tell you they were disappointed about anything you did, I’d give them what for.
I could write a whole fucking essay on how amazing you are.
Given how this’ — he gestures between us — ‘started, you know I fucking mean it.’
‘You hated me when I first started here.’
‘Well, hate’s a strong word. More like a strong intolerance for you.’
‘That makes me sound like a food allergy.’
‘It’s close.’ He nudges me with his shoulder to tell me he’s joking. ‘I bet they’re proud of you every day. You can go a little easier on yourself. You deserve the break.’
I let his words settle into my skin. Maybe he’s right, but I don’t plan on having a reason to test his theory any time soon. I rest my head on his shoulder, letting the silence wrap around us even though it’s absolutely freezing. He can warm me up later.
We sit like this until his phone pings. He reads the message then shows me.
Beth
Cai’s told me to tell you that Pictonary is about to start and he found some good beer in the fridge. He wants you to join us, but if you’re otherwise occupied, please feel free not to. Btw have you seen Lucy cos I can’t find her anywhere?
I hide my face in my hands. ‘Your sister is going to suss us out before we have a chance to tell anyone.’
‘She has years of experience spying on me. Soz. Do you want to go play Pictionary? I’m shit at it, and I hate playing board games, but I’ll do it for you.’
‘It’ll be nice to spend some time with them. Maybe put her off the trail?’
‘All right, but only for you.’
He holds his hand out for me as soon as we’re on our feet. He doesn’t bother pulling his jumper on.
‘If I don’t get the chance to tell you,’ I say when we reach the gate connecting the fields to the grounds of the house, ‘this date has been perfect. Thank you, Rhys. How did you think of it at such short notice?’
‘Oh, I can’t tell you.’
‘Why not?’ I stop where we are, leaning against the fence. ‘Come on. I spilled my backstory to you, opened my wounds. You could at least tell me where you’re getting your inspiration.’
He develops a great interest in our trainers, even though he can’t see them in the dim light of the stars. ‘It’s a secret I’m taking to the grave.’
‘Seriously? Was it social media?’
He shakes his head.
‘Pinterest, then? Or did you ask Bethan?’
‘Give over. She’s my sister. Why would I have asked her when we agreed not to tell anyone about us?’
‘Well, if it’s not any of them, did you Google it? Did you find a website instructing guys how to organise a really good first date fast? Don’t be ashamed about it, whatever it was.’
‘You’ll be going into the house disappointed. I’m not telling you, and that’s that.’
‘Fine. Then you won’t be getting a late night visitor to say thank you when everyone else goes to bed. You think my brain’s brilliant? You’ve not seen what I can do with my hands or my mouth.’
I’m not sure when I got bold, but something about Rhys teases my saucy side out.
‘You’d not deprive me! I deserve it.’
‘Try me…’
He sighs. ‘Fine. I like watching romcoms.’
If he’d have told me this earlier, when we were eating, I might have choked. Instead, I grin. ‘You do not?’
‘Please don’t tell the others. Mam used to make me watch them with her, then I sort of… carried on watching them when she was gone.’
How is it that he gets more and more adorable? I want to smush his face, but I settle on asking, ‘Which is your favourite?’
‘10 Things I Hate About You,’ he mumbles.
It is one of the best. And I can see how it lends itself to his wit, his taste in music. How much of a feminist he is.
‘Well. Today is a learning day, isn’t it?’ I could tease him forever about this, but I settle on kissing him, thanking him for being honest with me. ‘So, will you sing to me in front of an entire football team and the rest of the school on our second date?’
‘Nope. The second date’s on you, Luce. Let’s see if you can beat this one when we get to Edinburgh.’
A million ideas already flood my head but I don’t let on. Instead, I grin and say ‘Challenge accepted. Bring it on, Pritchett.’